River of Lies, page 29
“I know. I just thought she would stop if I called him up. She’s as stubborn as Maddy was,” Brian shouted back.
“Fuck Brian. You have longed for Maddy since she left with Shane. I remember what happened that night. I remember being left in the living room while you fucked her senseless. I remember crying myself to sleep as I was made feel like I could never compete with the great Maddy. Brian, she was nothing more than a junkie whore” Hayley shouted.
A loud crack echoed as Hayley cried out. Knox flew out of bed and swung the door open. April followed close behind to see Hayley on the ground, her lip was quickly swelling, and blood trickled from her mouth. April looked with widened eyes between Hayley and Brian. Knox cocked his fist.
“Wayde,” Hayley cried out.
Knox dropped his hand before he hit Brian. He turned to Hayley and picked her up off the floor, looking down at her lip. Hayley slapped his hands away.
“I’m fine, I’m fine. Just leave me be,” she said with an irritated tone. She backed away and put her hands on her hips. April frowned and watched her. “Well, she will have to be a club girl. She didn’t make it through everyone,” Hayley barked.
April lowered her eyes to the ground as she felt the disappointment well in her stomach.
“No,” Brian said.
April looked up at Brian and saw him cross his arms. Hayley looked at him with death in her eyes.
“What do you mean no? It’s the rule of the club,” Hayley shouted. She didn’t make it past the fourth man.
Brian shook his head and glared at his wife. “I don’t care. I’ve said no,” he said.
Hayley slowly shook her head again. “This is all about Maddy again. The great fucking Maddy. Where is she now, Brian? Oh, that’s right, she is in the fucking ground dead. She’s dead from an overdose because she couldn’t even respect her family enough to get clean. You kept the fucking light burning for her all these years, but she never once kept it on for you. She never wanted you” Hayley yelled.
April felt fury rise in her stomach as she turned to face Hayley, balling her hands into fists. Knox stepped between the two women as Hayley folded her arms across her chest and looked at April with steely determination.
“You know what, Hayley, you’re right. My mother was awful at being my mum. But she was still my mum, and you have no right to speak about her that way,” April said calmly, trying not to reach out and strangle the woman.
Hayley dropped her arms from her chest, and April watched her face falter, and the anger dropped out of her eyes for a moment. She nodded before turning to Brian and pointing at April.
“I know how much she reminds you of Maddy. But she is not her mother. Are you going to push me out so you can claim her? Your dead girlfriend fucking kid?” Hayley shouted.
April felt tears begin to well in her eyes. April shook her head and stepped towards Hayley while she unclenched her fists. April took Hayley’s hands in hers. Hayley snatched her hands out of April’s and continued to stare at Brian.
“Is it not enough that you got to fuck her last night? Is it not enough that your son’s marriage is on the rocks because he can’t stop fucking her” Hayley roared.
“Just stop it,” Brian yelled back.
“If you remember the rules on what happens to girls that don’t make it through, then you should remember that I fucked our son’s wife too. And the men who you had to fuck to get me, do you remember them?” Brian roared.
“This is enough,” April said as she stepped forward. “Hayley, if you want me to leave. I will leave. I have no interest in Brian. I have no interest in Knox. I don’t want either, man. I thought I had found a family here at last, but it’s just as fucked up as my original family.” April turned to Brian and ran her hands angrily through her hair. “You know what, Brian, you were right about me. I am like my mum; the drama follows her, and it follows me, and marriages just seem to implode everywhere I seem to go. Obviously, I’m meant to be alone. Obviously, I’m just no good to anyone.”
Brian shook his head and stepped towards her. “April, you don’t cause marriages to implode; your beauty makes holes in marriages become lit up,” Brian said gently.
April shook her head sadly at the thought that no matter where she went, there was a drama that seemed attracted to her. Women seemed to hate her and accused her of wanting their men. She enjoyed having Knox hold her the night before. She wanted comfort after what she had been through. However, she didn’t want that comfort at the risk of losing her friend in Augustine.
“You’re not going anywhere, April. If Hayley can’t handle you here because of her jealousy over a woman I never had sex with, then she is the one that should leave,” Brian said as he glared at Hayley.
“Dad,” Knox said.
Brian shook his head and held his hand up. “I’m sick of the bullshit. I’m sick of the lies that come out of her mouth and the manipulation.” Brian said as he turned to April.
“I never slept with your mum April. Not once. She did come here just before she died. She was ready to kill Duggar. She wanted my gun. She was going to blow his head off. I took her into the room to calm her down. I had never seen her so angry,” Brian said as he turned his attention to Hayley.
Hayley stood looking at the ground with her arms by her side, her hands balled into fists. April looked between Brian and Hayley as she listened to Brian explain what had happened that night.
“April, your Mum was devastated that she hadn’t protected you. She wanted to kill herself. She begged me to shoot her. I wouldn’t let her do it. She begged me to put her through the claim and allow one of the men to kill her. I spent the whole night telling her off the edge,” Brian explained. April nodded her head and wiped the stray tear from her eyes. “I never had sex with Maddy, not one single time.”
“She begged Shane and Michael to kill her. Shane gave her the overdose that killed her. Michael told me that she kept telling him that she had failed me. " I know why,” April said sadly as she turned away and let the tears flow.
“April, I should never have called Duggar up last night. I should have never let him anywhere near you. I’m sorry. I knew that you would be able to make it through last night. I knew you would be stubborn enough to go through with the claim. You are too much like Maddy. And Hayley is right; you remind me so much of her that sometimes it’s hard to even look at you.” Brian said.
He went to Hayley and stood in front of her. “I am not in love with April. I agree with you that I still hold a flame for Maddy. And that probably makes me the worst husband in the world. Hayley, I love you but can’t look at you like I did at Maddy. This claim shit, it's bullshit. I saw that last night. Knox and I didn’t want to do what we did.” Brian said.
April looked at Hayley, who had tears streaming down her face. “I know that Knox loves Augustine with all his heart. I know that she struggles with the fact that he does. I know that she hurts because he had been with April. I know that it hurts you that I was with April. And this is the last time the claims will ever happen,” Brian said.
Hayley frowned and nodded her head. She had a look of confusion on her face. April wasn’t sure what Brian was trying to say either and continued to watch him. “Hayley, every time I look at you, I see the different ones that fucked you. I see the way that they still look at you. I see the way you look at Robbie. I saw the way you looked at him then. I saw how gentle he was with you. I know it was him that you wanted and not me.” Brian said.
Chapter Sixty-Nine
Hayley shook her head with a frown. Brian frowned and ran his hand through his hair.
“Dad?” Knox said.
Brian put his hand up. “Fuck Hayley. Just leave, alright. You don’t want me any more than I want you. Robbie told me last night that you and he had been together. He told me everything.” Brian said.
Hayley’s mouth dropped open, and her eyes filled with tears as she shook her head.
“Mum?” Knox said, staring at her with shock.
“What will you do, Brian?” she asked uncertainly.
“Nothing. Just go,” he replied.
Hayley shook her head and reached out for him. Brian turned away and shook her hand off his shoulder. “Brian, are you going to hurt Robbie?” Hayley asked as tears fell from her cheeks.
“No,” he said with his back to Hayley as he walked away without looking back.
April stood with a look of shock over what she had just witnessed.
“Mum?” Knox said shakily.
Hayley looked up at Knox and shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she said through tears as she turned and walked away.
April stood quietly behind Knox. She wasn’t sure what to do. She didn’t know whether she should comfort any of the broken three. Knox turned around and looked at her.
“What the fuck?” he said, “what the fuck just happened to my family, April?”
April was speechless. She didn’t know what she could say to bring him comfort. April felt tears spring to her eyes. She felt like it was her fault. She felt like if she hadn’t asked Knox for help with Richard, she wouldn’t be watching Knox looking for answers, and she wouldn’t see Hayley packing her things and Brian brooding.
“I’m sorry, Knox,” she said through tears.
April turned to her room, grabbed her keys, and ran for the door. “April, please, stop,” Knox called.
April stopped and turned around. “Knox, I can’t. I can’t stay here. I don’t want to ruin your marriage too. I can’t be the cause of everyone’s unhappiness. I helped kill my mum; I am the reason my sister is in jail, and I am the reason my biological dad is in jail. I’m even the reason that the man I knew to be my dad is buried or burned or whatever the fuck you did with his body. I’m why your mum is walking out of here without her husband. I’m the reason that your wife wants to leave you. I’m the reason for everyone’s unhappiness. I can’t do this anymore.” April cried.
Knox shook his head as she cried deep sobs from her belly. “April, I love you. I love you more than you can imagine. I can’t explain it. I love Augustine too. I love you both, and when I think of either, my heart swells.” Knox said.
April shook her head. “Knox, I don’t want to hear that. I love you too. But you are Augustine’s. She doesn’t want to; she can’t share with you. I understand that. I don’t want to insert myself where I’m not wanted. Please, Knox, just let me leave,” she cried.
Knox reached out and took her shoulders in his hands. “Where are you going to go?” he asked.
April shrugged her shoulders. “I’m going to go and see Sharon. I will see if she will take over full-time care of Dylan, so I don’t fuck him up. Then I’m going to drive and drive,” April said.
Knox frowned and pulled her into his chest. She felt her tears smear into his shirt as he held her tight against him. She didn’t want him to let her go.
“Knox?” Augustine said behind him.
Augustine wrapped her arms around April and Knox, holding them both tightly. He silently opened his arm and pulled Augustine into the embrace also. April was confused. She didn’t know how to feel. When Knox let her go, Augustine turned and looked April in the eye.
“I know that Knox loves you. I know that you love him. It hurts me like hell to know that. Seeing how you two fit together like perfect puzzle pieces hurts like hell. Brian was right; the claim process is shit. It doesn’t work. I wanted to be claimed by Knox; he wanted to claim me. But he had to see his own father fuck me. He watched his best friend Blade take my ass and tear me open. That changes the love that a man feels,” Augustine said.
“Then how am I any different, Knox. You saw the same thing? Aren’t I going to end up just the same as Augustine?” April asked him.
Knox looked away, and she caught his eyes glaze over as he remembered the night before. April took his arm and turned him to face her. He wiped at a stray tear.
“Knox, I do love you. And I believe you when you say that you love Augustine. And I know Augustine loves you. Be together. Be happy. Be there for each other, for Mason and Abigail. I will find my own path,” April said.
She turned and left without another word. Her mind was racing with nerves and confusion as she left the chapter house and headed toward Sharon’s home. She was determined that she was going to ask Sharon to care full time for Dylan. She couldn’t do it; she needed to get away.
April pulled into the driveway and walked gingerly into Sharon’s house; her whole body seemed to ache. April loved Dylan so much that she didn’t want to ruin him like her mother's hand ruined her. She didn’t want her life choices to cause him the pain that she felt. She wanted him to be well-adjusted. She didn’t want him to lurch from one drama to another.
Chapter Seventy
When she opened the door, Dylan came tearing down the hallway excitedly. He stopped short, and his face paled as he saw his mum.
“Mummy? You sore?” he said.
April nodded her head and picked her son up carefully. He gently reached out and touched the deep blue bruises around her neck. April felt her tears fall down her face. Dylan looked at her with concern etched into his brow.
“Why you cry, mummy? You hurt?” he asked.
“Yes, baby. I hurt,” she said sadly.
Dylan nodded his head and very gently kissed her neck on the bruise. April smiled down at him. “Better?” he asked.
April smiled again and nodded as she put him down and took his hand into the toy-scattered living room where Sharon and Jessica sat. Sharon looked up, and her smile fell from her face when she saw the state of April.
“April, for the love of God, what has happened?” she cried with concern.
April shook her head and waved her hand, falling onto the couch and spreading her legs gingerly.
“I’m alright. I just had a bad night,” April said as she tried to play down the horrifying episodes of the previous night.
“A bad night, April. Come on now, you expect me to believe that. You have clear fingerprints around your neck. Who the hell did this?” Sharon said her voice becoming thick with worry.
April looked up at Sharon and smiled warmly as tears glazed in her eyes. “Sharon, I must leave to sort my head out for a few days. Would Dylan be able to stay with you? If you can’t have him, that is alright; I can take him with me,” April asked.
Sharon shook her head with a frown. “Of course, he can stay here. April, please tell me what is going on. You are really scaring me,” Sharon pleaded.
April looked between her and Jessica and then down at Dylan, who had returned to playing happily. “I was raped last night,” April said, which was technically accurate.
“What? April, you need to go to the police,” Sharon said in a shrill voice.
April shook her head and ran her hand through her hair. “Believe me, he won’t be raping anyone again,” April said, looking down at her bruised and scabbing fists.
“Good,” Sharon said.
April looked up at Sharon and smiled. “I just need a few days to sort some stuff out. I found a heap of information about my mum, and I need to go through everything,” April explained.
Sharon nodded her head and gently pat April on the leg. “Of course. Take all the time you need,” Sharon said with a smile; her eyes still read concern, and April felt comfort in the love she felt.
“Thank you, Sharon. I really appreciate all you and Jessica have done for me,” April said, looking between Sharon and Jessica.
April stayed for the rest of the afternoon, playing with Dylan and explaining that he would stay with his Grandma and Aunty Jessica for a little bit. He seemed thrilled at the prospect, and April knew he had been spoilt rotten. When she got ready to leave, she smothered Dylan’s face in kisses bringing wild giggles from him.
“Mummy, you tickle,” he squealed.
April giggled and kissed his neck more. “I love you, baby,” she said with a smile.
Dylan put his hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes. He seemed to be reading something deep in her soul as he stared at her. Dylan leaned in and gave her a sloppy toddler kiss on the lips.
“I love you, mummy,” he said with a smile.
April smiled and rested her forehead against his. April put him down and turned to Sharon, giving her a hug. “Thank you for everything,” April said quietly.
Sharon pulled April away and held her by the shoulders. She looked at April the same way that Dylan had. “Please be careful,” Sharon said as she frowned.
April smiled and touched Sharon’s elbows before nodding. “I will be back in a few days. I’ll give you a call when I can,” April said with a smile.
She turned to Dylan, who stood with his thumb wedged tight in his mouth and rubbed his eyes, ready for his afternoon nap. “You be a very good boy for Grandma and Aunty Jess, won’t you?” she said.
Dylan nodded his head. “Bye, Mummy,” he said behind his thumb.
April giggled and tussled his hair. “Bye, baby.”
Chapter Seventy-One
As April drove off, she wound down the window and let the window flip her hair wildly around her face as tears fell down her cheeks. She had no idea what she was doing. She had no idea where she was going. She just knew that she had run. April drove late into the night, the city lights had long passed, and the highway seemed to go on forever. Fields of grass and cattle surrounded her as her headlights shone the way in the dark. Trucks her only company on the road, April began to yawn as she pulled into the looming truck service center. When she stopped the car, she stretched and yawned.
“You’re out late,” a man called behind her.
April turned to see a big man standing behind her with his hands full of greasy food and drinks. She felt her belly rumble and remembered she hadn’t eaten all day. April smiled and nodded her head.
“Where you headed?” he asked as he strolled towards her.
“I’m not sure yet,” April said with a smile.
The man frowned and shook his head. “We’ll be careful on the roads; lots of crazies out at night. Have you got somewhere to sleep?” he asked.
