Conclave (Vampire Conclave: Book 3), page 11
I turn to Julian and ask, “Do you think it would be safe for you to drive us to the alfar mansion? I know we decided that I should do all the driving since we don’t exactly know if the spirit inside you can take control of your actions while you’re still awake, but it’s been days and she hasn’t done it yet.”
“It’s probably safe,” Julian says, lowering his brow slightly as if confused by my suggestion.
“Good,” I reply, thankful he doesn’t ask me to explain any further. I need to read Constance’s note as soon as possible, and I can’t do that if I’m driving.
Julian and I get back into his Vanquish while Helen rides with the alfar in their Range Rover.
Viktor decides to sit on my lap while we drive to the alfar mansion. After Julian has driven for about five minutes, I ask him, “Can Mira hear us from this distance?”
Julian glances over at me and shakes his head. “No. We’re too far away. Why do you ask? What’s going on, Sarah?”
I finally open my hand with the note in it and hold it up to show him.
“This is what,” I answer as I begin to unfold the letter. “Constance gave it to me, but she apparently didn’t want Mira or Adrian to know about it.”
The writing is small, but I guess it had to be considering the size of the paper. I have to hold it up close to my eyes in order to read Constance’s handwriting.
Dearest Sarah,
* * *
I know it must seem odd to you for me to be writing this letter and forcing you to keep its existence a secret from the others. I suppose it would be too much of me to ask that you keep it hidden from Julian as well, so I won’t ask that of you.
Well, that’s good, because Julian already knows about it.
For many years now, I have debated with myself about what type of future I want for my descendant, and now that my baby girl is almost here, I’ve finally come to a decision. I don’t want her to grow up like I did—always afraid of what monsters might be lurking in the shadows. I want her to grow up like you and live in the light for as long as she can, possibly for the rest of her life. In order for this to happen, I need your help.
After my baby is born, I want you to take her to Alfheim to be raised.
“Holy …” I stop myself just short of cursing.
“What does it say?” Julian asks in alarm.
“Give me a minute,” I tell him. “Let me finish all of it first.”
Taking her to Alfheim will ensure that neither I nor Mira will be able to reach her. I know this may seem like an unusual request to make of you since we just met, but I have no doubt whatsoever that I can trust you. Daniel, who is your biggest fan and advocate, has had nothing but praise for you. I know you will follow your heart in this matter, and I apologize for placing this burden on your shoulders, but you’re the only one I believe Mira fears.
Mira fears me? I have to say, that’s interesting. I read on to see if Constance explains why this is supposedly true.
Mira knows that if it came down to it, Julian would choose you over her in an argument. She has always been able to rely on her brother’s support in all matters, but when it comes to you, she doubts her connection to Julian will be enough to sway him to her side. I pray that you find it in your heart to help me and my child. If you decide not to, please, don’t feel guilty. I know this is a lot to ask of someone who is basically a stranger, and I don’t see Julian agreeing to assist you in this matter.
I wish you the best in the new life you have been given. Bless you today, tomorrow, and forever, Sarah Marcel.
* * *
Until we meet again,
* * *
Constance
I’m honestly at a loss for words. I decide to read the letter over again just to make sure I read it correctly the first time. The second read through simply confirms that I did, in fact, read it correctly. I don’t know what to say. I’m not entirely sure how to explain it to Julian either. Should I keep the contents a secret from him? Basically I would be asking him to withhold a rather large secret from his own sister. Is that even a fair thing to do to him? I just don’t know.
“What did she write?” Julian presses me, not demanding an answer but definitely curious to know what it is Constance wants from me.
Still, I don’t know what to do. I could tell him, but that would instantly make him an accomplice. If I don’t tell him, it might cause a rift of distrust to arise between us that I don’t want to form. I love our relationship as it is.
“I, uh,” I say, stalling for time as I refold the letter and grip it tightly in my left hand. “I’m not sure I should tell you what it says.”
Julian takes his eyes off the road to look over at me, clearly confused by my refusal to tell him what Constance wrote.
“Is it because you don’t trust me to keep it a secret?” he inquires, sounding hurt that I won’t share the information with him.
“It’s not that,” I assure him. “I would trust you with a secret even if my life depended on you keeping it.”
“Then what could she have possibly said to you in that letter?”
“Can you give me some time to think about something first and get some advice from a trusted friend?”
“I suppose,” Julian replies, sounding confused by my appeal. “I hope you know you can tell me anything, Sarah.”
“I do know that,” I say. “I just need some time to think. That’s all.”
Julian nods that he understands, but I can tell that he doesn’t. If I told him what the letter said, I’m sure he would be more sympathetic about my dilemma.
As soon as possible, I need to ask Helen what to do. She’s known Julian and Mira longer than any other human. She’s the best person I can think of who can tell me whether or not Julian would be able to keep such a life-altering secret from Mira.
I have my doubts that he can, and I hope Helen can help me decide what needs to be done next.
The rest of the ride to the alfar estate ends up being a little awkward. Viktor looks between Julian and me like he expects me to offer him an explanation. I give him one small shake of my head to indicate now is not the time to discuss matters. I can tell Julian is upset with me because I won’t share what was in Constance’s letter, and I’m not sure how to make things right between us again without revealing what she wrote. I need a little bit more time to sort things out and get some much-needed advice from Helen. In my mind at least, I’m doing what’s best for Julian. I also need some time to decide if I’m going to help Constance with her plan. I hate to deny her desperate plea for help, but I’m not even sure I can take the child to Alfheim. I don’t know what the rules are for allowing a human to live there.
We pull up to the wrought iron and brick gated entrance of the property, and for the first time, I notice that the alfar estate has a name. On an aged bronze placard embedded into one of the brick pillars are the words “Moonstone Manor.”
“I wonder why they named this place after the moonstone,” I say, breaking a ten-minute silence that’s hung between us like an impenetrable veil ever since I told Julian I couldn’t discuss what was in Constance’s letter.
“I have no idea,” Julian says sharply.
“Don’t be mad,” I beg.
“I just don’t understand why you don’t trust me, Sarah,” he replies, still sounding annoyed with my reluctance to share information with him.
“I swear to you, it’s not that at all. I’m trying to protect you.”
Julian gives me a confused, sideways glance. “Protect me from what exactly?”
“From having to choose between me and your sister,” I say, hoping it’s enough to make him understand how difficult it is for me to not just hand Constance’s letter over to him so he can read it for himself.
Julian looks confused by my statement. “Is Constance asking you to do something that will hurt Mira?”
“I can’t say any more. I shouldn’t have said as much as I have.”
“When exactly do you plan to figure out whether or not you can tell me what’s in the letter?”
“I need to talk to Helen first,” I tell him. “She knows you and Mira better than anyone else. I think she can help me decide the best course of action.”
Julian lets out a sigh, but it sounds more like an irritated huff. He pulls his car up to the steps leading to the front entrance of the manor.
“Why don’t you and Viktor get out?” he suggests, even though it sounds more like a demand than a suggestion. “When you’re finished talking with Helen, call me and I’ll return.”
I know why he’s leaving. He’s giving me the privacy I need to speak with Helen. If he stayed, he would be able to hear everything that we said.
“I love you,” I tell him in an attempt to remind him of that truth.
Julian looks over at me and replies, “I love you too.”
There is feeling behind his declaration of love, but I can also sense that he’s holding a part of himself back from me now that he wasn’t before.
“Have I ruined things between us?” I have to know, because just the thought of such a travesty causes me to tear up.
Julian shakes his head as he finally realizes how much his behavior is upsetting me. “No, Sarah. You could never do that. I’m just a little disappointed that you don’t trust me enough to help you with what’s going on.”
“It’s not that,” I try to assure him.
“That’s the way I see it,” he says with a heavy sigh. “Now go and get the answers you need from Helen so we can put an end to this foolishness.”
“I’m not being foolish,” I defend myself as anger begins to replace my guilt. “I’m trying to do what’s best for you.”
“The truth is what’s best for me,” he says testily. “Just go, Sarah, before we say things to each other that can’t be taken back.”
I hesitate, but then decide that he’s right. I get out of the car holding Viktor in one arm while I close the car door behind us. Julian speeds off around the circular driveway and is out the gated entry before Nadia even parks her Range Rover in front of me.
“Where in the world is Julian off to in such an all-fired hurry?” Helen asks as she emerges from the backseat of the vehicle.
“He’ll be back,” I tell her. “But I need to talk to you about something before he can return.”
Helen looks alarmed. “Is it that serious?”
I nod my head. “I think it is.”
I look over at Nadia because she’s the one who can answer a question for me about alfar law and customs.
“I need you too, Nadia,” I say as she walks around the front of the SUV to come stand with me.
“All right,” she replies, looking curious to know what’s going on. She turns to Kieran and Alea. “Why don’t the two of you let the staff know that we’re here?” she tells them. “The princess, Helen, and I will be in the garden out back if anyone needs us.”
Alea and Kieran bow slightly in my direction before leaving.
Helen and I follow Nadia around the red brick mansion to the large flower garden in the backyard. Located in the center of the area is a large water fountain that’s similar in size to the one in Trafalgar Square. I’ve only seen pictures of that one, of course, but I think it’s a fair comparison. When Nadia stops behind the fountain and turns to face us, I have to wonder if she does so because there is a surveillance system close by and being near the rushing water will undoubtedly drown our voices out.
“What’s going on, Sarah?” Helen asks me worriedly. “Why did Julian speed out of here?”
I hand Helen the note. “Read this and tell me if you think I should let Julian know what it says.”
Helen takes Constance’s note from me and begins to read it. When she gets to the most important part of the letter, she says, “Oh my!” and covers her heart with her free hand, looking as if she can’t believe the words on the page in front of her.
“Oh, dear, dear, dear,” Helen says, shaking her head and looking dismayed by the contents of the note. “That poor girl. She must be desperate to write you this letter.”
“Helen, what should I do?” I beseech her. “Should I tell Julian what Constance wants me to do, or will he go straight to Mira with the news? And if he did that, what would Mira do to Constance and her baby?”
“More than likely keep them locked up somewhere so they can’t escape,” Helen says without a shred of doubt in her voice. “Whatever happens, Mira must never know about this letter. You must burn it, Sarah. We can’t risk this information getting back to her.”
“Am I allowed to know what the letter says?” Nadia asks.
“Give it to her,” I tell Helen.
It only takes Nadia a minute to read it.
“All right,” she says, folding it back up and handing it to me. “You said you needed me to help you with this. What exactly do you need me to do? Steal the baby when it’s born?”
“Maybe,” I say, not having thought that far ahead yet. “I need to know if a human child can be taken to Alfheim to be raised. Is that allowed?”
Nadia looks troubled. “Well, I can’t say that it’s been done, but there have been plenty of half-human children brought over and even born on Alfheim. Some of the human parents reside there, so I don’t think bringing Constance’s baby over and finding her suitable parents will be difficult. Also, you’re the future ruler of the alfar, Your Highness. You can pretty much do whatever you want.”
“Nadia, don’t you think we’ve been through enough together by now to drop the ‘Your Highness’? Can you please just call me Sarah? I think you’ve more than earned the right to by now.”
“I’ll try,” she begrudgingly agrees, “but I can’t promise that I won’t slip up and call you ‘Your Highness,’ Your Highness.”
I smile at Nadia’s little joke before returning my attention to Helen.
“What should I do?” I ask her. “What would you do in my position? I haven’t told Julian anything the letter said, only that it was from Constance.”
“Well, she did say in her note that she doesn’t expect you to keep this information from Julian, but I can see why you would be concerned about telling him. You would be asking him to betray his sister by helping you kidnap Mira’s next companion. Although all of this might be moot anyway if we can find a way to dislodge the spirits inside all of the vampires. I’m sure once that’s accomplished, Constance and her baby can live out normal lives. Mira does love Constance. She probably loves her more than anyone else in this world, besides herself of course. She helped raise her, you know. The poor child’s mother died after giving birth, and the father, who was Mira’s companion at the time, was heartbroken afterwards. He would rarely leave his room, from what I was told. We didn’t see Mira during that time, but she and Julian kept in touch.”
“Yes, I could see how much Mira cares for Constance while we were there,” I reply. “But Mira needs her to survive, and she’ll eventually need Constance’s baby too if we fail to find a cure.”
“Not being able to feed won’t kill her though,” Helen points out. “Mira would simply exist in a resting state, like a coma. She can’t actually die unless the child does.”
That is true. I remember Julian telling me what would happen to his body if he didn’t feed for an extended period of time. Knowing that I wouldn’t be placing a death sentence on Mira helps ease my guilt, but still, I remember the torture I felt being separated from Julian when Alden took me to Alfheim to be healed.
“Do you think I should do it?” I ask Helen, desperately wanting her to give me a straight yes or no answer to my question.
“Honestly, I think you should talk this over with Julian,” she recommends. “I think he will side with Constance in this situation. If she is desperate enough to ask a stranger for help to prevent her child from being raised in Mira’s household, she may resort to other less safe means to save her baby. I would rather see her place her trust in you than anyone else. At least you and Julian will know where the child is in case she ever needs to be brought back here.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. I was hoping Helen would advise me to confide in Julian. I hated the way we parted earlier, and I never want to do that again.
“Thank you,” I say, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek. “That’s exactly what I was hoping you would say.”
“Still, you need to burn that letter after he reads it, Sarah. Constance doesn’t need incriminating proof of her betrayal laying around.”
“I will.”
I reach into my back pocket to retrieve my phone and immediately call Julian. He doesn’t waste time to ask me any questions. He simply agrees to meet me in the backyard by the fountain. He must not have gone very far, because he arrives back at the house about five minutes later. When he walks over, Nadia takes Viktor from my arms before she and Helen go into the mansion to give us some privacy to discuss matters.
The first thing I do is hand Julian the note.
“Read this first,” I tell him, “and then we can talk.”
Julian reads the note. I watch to see what his reaction is to Constance’s request. He looks surprised, but he doesn’t look mad. I thought he might become enraged that Mira’s companion would want to do such a thing to his sister. After he finishes reading the note, he hands it back to me.
“I see now why you said I would have to choose between you and my sister,” he says. “Was there any doubt that I would choose you?”
I can’t lie. He would be able to tell if I did.
“I did have some doubts, but only because doing this will hurt Mira. We would be hiding her next companion from her for who knows how long, and you would be forced to lie to her for the foreseeable future. It just didn’t seem like a fair thing for me to ask you to do.”
“Then you’ve made up your mind?” he questions. “You intend to help Constance?”
“Yes,” I say, only then realizing that my mind was made up the first time I read the letter. “She has to be desperate for help, Julian. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be asking someone she doesn’t really know to help her.”
