A Breath of Scandal, page 14
Gillian pulled away slowly and walked a few steps away with her back to Candice.
“I’m going to tell her. I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted to protect her. And…I don’t think anyone has hurt her as much as I have. Maybe I am being selfish to want her till the last minute of my life.” Gillian began to sob as she wrapped her arms around herself. “I need her, Candice. I need her so much…”
Candice was immediately next to her holding her tightly. She held Gillian to her not exactly sure if she could stand the ramifications of those words now.
“Take a few days to think it over, honey. If that is what you want to do, then do it. But give yourself some time to think about what this will mean, okay?”
Gillian nodded in Candice’s embrace.
Candice held Gillian to her possessively. Gillian would never go back to Adele. Gillian had been hers first. She had the right; Gillian was where she belonged. Moving to New York had been taking a big chance but she would use all her influence to keep Gillian. She told herself over and over again that she knew Gillian. She knew what was good for her. And Gillian would eventually come to agree with her. It was just a matter of time; time…time was the one thing they didn’t have. All the time that Gillian had left would be hers.
When Gillian went to pick up Catty the next day, she was informed that Adele had gone to a board meeting. Gillian took this as a sign that she should indeed give more thought to her decision to tell Dell or not.
Chapter Eleven
“Contessa, we haven’t seen you in the office in quite some time.” Georgio Passeti, her VP of Acquisitions in the New York office, welcomed her as she walked in.
“Hello, Georgio, I may not be here often but, I know all that goes on here,” she said with a sardonic smile.
“You, Contessa, are a remarkable woman. Anyone that doubts that is a fool. Please sit.” He smiled in agreement and pointed to the chair in front of him. “What has brought you here?”
“There are some things that I am wrapping up here for the next few days and I came to bring you up to date.”
“I will clear my calendar.”
Adele began tying up all loose ends in New York. She included Georgio in all the meetings since he would be overseeing all of the projects in New York for at least the next year. Adele was going back to Europe to focus on the winery. She had extensive plans for its growth and some of the preliminaries were also being arranged from New York.
That particular morning was as busy as the others had been when she was interrupted by her personal secretary.
“Contessa, I have Sabina from billing here and she wishes to speak to you personally.”
Adele thought for a moment and asked Diane to show Sabina in.
Sabina had been working for Adele for over ten years. She had rendered Adele a few considerations from time to time in the past. Usually bills of questionable references that should not be put through the office to avoid embarrassment or speculation of her past indiscretions. The press had people everywhere and some things were better dealt with privately than put through the company and made real by existing paperwork. Sabina had been a loyal employee, and because of that, she was held in high regard by Adele.
“Come in, Sabina.” Adele stood up. “Sit down please.” Adele looked towards Diane that was lingering at the door. “You may leave us, Diane.”
Diane closed the door behind her, and Adele sat back down and gave Sabina all of her undivided attention.
“You needed to speak to me?”
“Yes, Contessa.” Sabina hesitated and seemed suddenly very uncomfortable in her chair.
“Sabina?”
“I…a bill came through, Contessa and…” she stuttered.
“Still? It’s been years…” Adele trailed off in confusion.
“It’s different.” Sabina seemed more embarrassed by the second.
“Sabina, I can’t imagine… I haven’t…”
“It’s not you, Contessa…”
“What? Please, Sabina tell me what this is all about.” Adele could not figure out what it was. Sabina had brought her bills for dubious situations and they had been privately paid. Adele did not understand since she had not had any questionable incidents to cover up since she and Gillian had gotten together.
“This bill is for Mrs. Visconti. I wasn’t sure how…I mean, I didn’t know if you wanted it processed…or just taken care of privately.” Sabina would not look at her in the eye as she handed Adele a piece of paper.
Adele took the paper from her and began to read it. Her features suddenly turned ashen as her hand began to shake.
“Contessa?” Sabina suddenly realized that she had delivered news that had shocked and surprised.
“Thank you, Sabina, you may go now.” Adele heard herself say but did not recognize her own voice. She felt an incredible coldness fill her being. Her face felt hot and the bile rose from her stomach into her mouth. “Take care of the bill privately, Sabina, and thank you.” Adele left an open-mouthed Diane as she stormed out of her office.
“Contessa, will you need a car?”
Adele was beyond rational thought. All she felt was an incredible fire growing out of her and all it wanted to do was burn and destroy. She walked out of the building and got into a cab. Rage, she was consumed by rage. The crushed piece of paper was still in her hand. All she felt was ire. It filled her, seeping into every part of her. Gillian had killed their child. Their son.
She was lucid enough to call the estate to ready the limousine and to have two of her bodyguards and Catty’s nanny ready to leave with her as she arrived. Her eyes burned and her head hurt, and it throbbed. She felt like something was tearing her to pieces from within. Her heart was shattered beyond repair. The fire that was taking over her body felt like an inferno of heat and anguish. The anger that had been festering had become a raging volcano that could no longer be controlled.
Less than an hour later the limousine seemed to fly through the city streets like a black bird splashing the wet and dark streets as it flew through the night, crashing against the dark waters that would lead it to its demise. Adele knew that after today she would no longer exist. She was dead inside. It had begun when she found out how Gillian had betrayed her. Her life ended the moment that she realized that the woman that she had loved so deeply had never existed.
Gillian had toyed with her from the very first. Everything had been a lie. All that was left of her was primal and expendable. She simply felt only the cold. Her eyes had never been more focused nor her mind more alert and yet she felt lifeless and disconnected from the world. The heat that had consumed her had now turned to fire and ice as both coexisted within her. The frozen tundra began to spread like a mantel over all of her senses. She felt nothing but a controlled sense of no return as the molten lava was ready to consume all in her path.
Adele knew that the car that she was in was moving very quickly. The numbness that now permeated her whole being was devoid of any emotion, of any sense of what was real. She stared lifelessly at the buildings that appeared like continuous blurs. As the car pulled up to her destination, suddenly like a gap in time, a rush of cold air hit her as the car door opened like an unstoppable avalanche. It hit her so quickly that she felt a grotesque thing inside her step out of the car instead of the woman that had existed in her body previously and, like an animal bent on killing, she rushed to her target. She was savage, jury, judge, and executioner. She tasted blood in her mouth and her body moved fluidly like that of a wild animal running towards the kill.
One thought kept repeating itself in her mind over and over again. “She killed my son…she killed my son.” Gillian’s betrayal had taken her beyond what her mind could endure. Gillian had made her believe in love, and then she had betrayed her, used her, taken her child, made her look ridiculous. She would soon be the laughingstock of those that had warned her that people like her should never trust anyone because money was ultimately the object. Gillian had proved that no one had truly loved her for herself and not for the things that her money could buy. Gillian had betrayed her with Candice, wanted to take her child from her, and now she had discovered the ultimate betrayal. Gillian had killed her son. It would have been a son and Gillian killed him. Gillian had broken what had never been broken before. Gillian shattered her heart beyond reconstruction.
Liar! Gillian was a liar. A liar that had torn out all her belief that love was real, that she deserved it, and then led her to an abysmal coldness that she had never known. Her heart was beyond broken, and now all she had was the cold and she ran to it. The cold turned her to ice. She would never truly feel again; she would breathe but would never truly know that she was alive.
Adele rushed through the receiving area like a whirlwind. The two men that were accompanying her followed closely behind, as well as the nanny. She bypassed the manager that came up to greet her and she tossed him like a rag doll out of her way like the insignificant thing that she felt he was in that moment. Because the only thing that Adele knew was that she had to find Gillian. The man fell onto a chair, indignant at this treatment and stared at the power that had just pushed him aside. One of the bodyguards stared him down and the manager simply remained in place, keeping the words to himself.
As she entered the elevator, her fury was palpable, and everyone could feel it in the air. The elevator barely contained the anger gaining ground inside her; the ire that filled her lungs and the fire that made her skin burn with rage was spilling over. Ice had become fire once more. Within seconds the doors of the elevator opened and within steps she was in front of the penthouse door. Her fist hit it with such force that the door itself shook as she continued to pound it.
“Gillian!” She kept yelling and still no answer from within a minute later. She stepped aside as one of the men kicked the door open with one swift kick.
As soon as the pieces of what remained of the door swung open, she could see Gillian rushing towards them in shocked surprise. Candice came through another door towards them and immediately walked towards Adele, obviously angry at the forced entry. Before Candice could speak Adele struck her so hard that she fell back against a side table and seemed unable to catch her breath as she lay on the floor.
Gillian stared in horror at the woman that was approaching her. Adele’s stare caused her to take a step back and turn to run from her. Adele moved swiftly, grabbing Gillian by the hair and roughly turned her around to face her.
“Where is my daughter?” Adele growled as her other hand grabbed Gillian by the neck. “Go, find her!” She shouted towards one of the men. The nanny followed to look for the child as well.
“Adele…” before Gillian could finish Adele shoved her hard against the wall.
“I should kill you,” she said, seething as she pressed against Gillian again. Gillian tried to run by her, and Adele grabbed her by the hair and pulled her hard against her once more “I want to kill you…liar,” She spoke the words seething through her teeth barely audible.
“Dell…” Gillian was barely able to say as Adele struck her hard across the face with relish and placed her hand over her mouth as she pushed her against the door. “Be quiet, you are going to scare our baby,” she whispered into Gillian’s ear in a sarcastic growl as she pressed her body harder against Gillian’s.
†
Gillian heard Catty calling out and Adele answered saying that she would be going to be with her soon. Gillian heard as they went out the apartment and she knew at that moment that she had lost her daughter. Her eyes turned to Adele in horror and in confusion.
At the same time Adele’s crazed eyes turned to her.
“Gillian!” Candice cried out from the other room.
“Keep her there!” Adele screamed at the man outside as she pushed Gillian farther into the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her.
“Dell...” Gillian began to say as Adele struck her hard across the face yet again.
“Don’t speak…liar, everything was a lie!” Adele accused her with all the anger inside her. “I believed you! But you are a liar! I want to kill you!”
Gillian’s tears ran freely down her cheeks. “No Dell…”
“I’m dead inside… I am disgusted by you!” Adele ranted as she paced side to side like a caged animal. “You are my wife and you lay with her… I want to claw at my skin to remove you from it.” Adele held her head with both her hands in utter rage. “I am going to rip you out of my head and my body even if it kills me!”
“Dell…” Gillian sobbed miserably.
Adele seemed disoriented for a moment as she turned to look at Gillian and her fingers lightly touched Gillian’s face. Adele then stared at her fingers as if mesmerized only to look up and stare straight in Gillian’s eyes with something akin to madness. Adele’s eyes were unreadable to her.
A stranger was looking at her. There was no recognition and Gillian watched in horror as Adele stared back at her hand. Adele’s hand had blood smeared on it…she then looked up with a venomous smile akin to utter pleasure. She licked the blood with her tongue as she stared at Gillian. At that moment Gillian screamed, “No!”
As Gillian went to her to stop her, Adele pushed her away from her so hard that Gillian began to really feel fear. She tried to reach the woman that had once loved her but to no avail; she realized that Adele was now lost to her.
“I am going to treat you like the whore that you are. You killed my son!”
Gillian stared at her in horror. She knew…Adele knew…her son? It was a little boy…she had killed their little boy…she had killed their dream. Gillian’s eyes filled with tears; she did not know that it had been a little boy, her little boy. She welcomed Adele’s attack, her anger. She heard the tearing of her clothes before the horror of the last time that Adele would touch her body. The madness that followed would haunt them both to their death. It wasn’t sex nor was it violence; they had gone beyond that, neither would survive it and time would show that neither did.
†
Adele walked out of the room an hour later. She seemed lifeless and did not look at Candice as she walked out of the penthouse. When she was honest with herself, she knew that it had never been about Candice, it was about Gillian. Gillian had made the promises; Gillian had been the one that broke them.
Love had been a word that others used. Love had been something that had never truly held her. She had given Gillian her whole being, her dreams, her secrets, her passion, and a heart that had learned to beat for only one name. Adele had loved her beyond the realm of the possible and when her world came crashing down, she could not escape it. It had crushed her because she never had built her defenses against it. She had loved Gillian so completely that the word betrayal had simply never entered her thoughts. The first revelation impaled her, and her shocked senses only registered that her life was oozing out the wound that would never heal. All that followed simply tore the wound bigger and bigger. She then remembered the impact of the words when she first heard them from Gillian. “I choose her, I don’t love you…” She had never truly been whole after that. The silence encased her, and the void had begun to take her back into its darkness.
The bodyguard had kept Candice outside the room. Candice had sat on the sofa in what seemed like a lifetime holding her bruised body and, as they left the apartment, she got up slowly. Every step that she took towards Gillian’s bedroom took forever. She was scared; something told her that it would be painful. Finally, as she got to the door, she couldn’t hold the sob that escaped her lips as she saw what Adele had done. She didn’t care how her own body hurt because a part of it thought that she deserved the pain. After all, she too had betrayed. She wanted Gillian and this was her way of getting her back and she knew that.
Candice wept as she slowly walked to where Gillian lay. Gillian seemed lifeless. She stared at the rumpled bed sheets and then allowed herself to look at Gillian’s body. Gillian lay naked and unmoving. Her eyes were dull, and her face was smeared with blood. She was bruised and a childlike whimper escaped her lips as Candice lightly touched her. Suddenly Candice saw the tears spill over Gillian’s eyes, and she breathed a sigh of relief; till that moment she had not had the courage to question whether Gillian had been alive or dead.
“Gillie…oh God, Gillie,” Candice sobbed as she covered Gillian with a sheet. She kept trying to cover her and trying not to meet her eyes again. “Oh God, Gillie…”
Suddenly Candice felt her hair being caressed. She immediately looked up at Gillian. The tenderness of it made her cry all the harder. She put her head down on Gillian’s chest as she wept. “Oh, my baby…I’m sorry…I couldn’t stop her; I’m so sorry, my baby. Forgive me…oh God, forgive me.” Candice cried so hard that her body shook, a part of her felt the guilt of it all, too.
†
Gillian caressed her hair softly. “Shhhh…shhhh.” Gillian continued to console her. Nothing mattered; nothing else would ever matter. She had lost her daughter and now she knew that she had killed her little boy. It had been a boy. The realization of that news had killed yet another part of her. Oddly enough in the maelstrom of all that violence that she had shared with Adele only moments before their lives together had ended. The blood, all that Gillian could think of was the blood that now bound them and separated them. The blood would always exist between them.
†
Adele walked out of the building in a daze. Her footing was unsure, and she stumbled once or twice trying to keep a hold of her sanity. What had she done? Gillian deserved it! She was a whore that had used her. She was a liar that had made her love her. She had tried to take her money, her child. She had humiliated her and had killed her son! She kept justifying her actions. But if all that were true, why did she feel such disgust at herself? What had she done? The horror of what had just occurred kept pushing itself into her head. She was a monster, but this was something that Gillian was to blame for as well. But why did she keep hearing the words in her head? So many words…so very many.
