The Final Crumpet, page 29
part #2 of A Royal Tunbridge Wells Mystery Series
“On the other hand, Trevor Dangerfield and Mirabelle Hubbard have confessed to—to…something,” Pennyman said.
“Indeed, they have.” Kolya gestured with his index finger. “Two elderly people with questionable memories have told a bizarre tale. But have they provided a scrap of proof of their outrageous claims? No! It’s their feeble word against a significant quantity of documentary evidence that two public-spirited citizens have delivered to the authorities.”
“Another excellent point.” Pennyman turned to Trevor.
“Mr. Dangerfield, exactly how old are you?”
“I turned seventy-nine last month, sir.”
“Amazing. You look much younger. How’s your memory?”
Trevor began to grin. “Well, now that you and Mr. Melnikov mention it, I don’t suppose it’s all that good. In the Royal Marines, I spent a good deal of time near weapons that made lots of noise.”
“What about Mrs. Hubbard?”
“She’s only seventy-four but has been known to have her senior moments.”
Pennyman nodded. “Thank you, Mrs. Hubbard and Mr. Dangerfield, for your most interesting input. You’ve definitely assisted my inquiries. I will, of course, take everything you’ve told me under advisement, but I would note that the present course of our investigation seems to be propelling us in a significantly different direction.”
“Praise God” said Mirabelle.
“Praise God, indeed,” murmured Flick.
Thirty minutes later, the group sitting around the table had dwindled to a “precious few”—Flick thought—of Nigel, Kolya, Bertie, and herself.
“ ‘It is a tale told by an idiot,’ ” she murmured, “ ‘full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.’ ”
“More Shakespeare?” Nigel said.
“More Macbeth.”
“You sound in a gloomy mood,” Bertie said.
“I am in a gloomy mood. We don’t have much to tell our bank tomorrow.” She looked at Nigel. “Do you think Sir James will be satisfied with what we can share about Hugh Doyle? It really doesn’t talk to Etienne Makepeace’s relationship to the museum.”
Kolya smiled. “If it’s more evidence you require, I may be able to provide…”
Bertie suddenly silenced Kolya by grabbing his arm. Flick stared at Bertie. His face was glowing.
“Sir James who?” he uttered through anger-tightened lips.
“Uh…Sir James Boyer, the chairman of Wescott Bank.”
“Boyer is an insufferable twit!” Bertie shouted. “I know, because he used to report to me at MI6 when this whole tea museum business transpired.” Bertie made a low-pitched growl. “The twit was on last year’s honors list.”
“Whoa, whoa!” Flick said. “Boyer knows what happened at the Royal Tunbridge Wells Tea Museum?”
“Of course! He frequently attended those closed-door meetings that have caused you so much fascination.”
Nigel joined in. “Then why did he order us to conduct an investigation into Etienne Makepeace’s relationship to the museum? Sir James insists that we explain why Makepeace was buried in our garden. Unless we come up with an answer acceptable to Sir James, Wescott Bank won’t move ahead with the loan we’ve arranged to finance our acquisition of the Hawker collection.”
“It’s all humbug. I’ll wager that James Boyer is merely looking for an excuse to terminate his business dealings with you.” Bertie frowned. “He is as worried about the past as I am—for most of the same reasons. He doesn’t want to be linked in any way to Etienne Makepeace or the museum.”
“Now it all makes sense,” Flick said. “That’s why he gave us an impossible deadline and impossible demands. He’s counting on us to fail. He wants to pull our plug.”
“Blast!” Nigel said. “We jumped through all those hoops for—nothing!”
“I wouldn’t say that.” Bertie smiled. “Those hoops led you to us. I know how to deal with little Jimmy Boyer.”
“You do?” Nigel said.
“One need only point out to him that the breakdown of your loan arrangement in the eleventh hour will surely pique the interest of the media.”
“True,” Flick said. “Especially when we publish a news release explaining that Wescott Bank backed out of the arrangement.”
“You will, of course, have to hold another news conference.”
“Indeed, we will,” Nigel said.
“At which conference, you will introduce the reporters to Mr. Bertrand Bartholomew and Nikolai Melnikov—the very same gentlemen who became fast friends of the museum during the investigation demanded by Wescott Bank. They—We!—will explain why Sir James allowed an event in the distant past to stop a project of promise for the future.”
“And you think the threat of publicity will do it?” Flick asked.
“His mind will change as quickly as the weather over Lands End.” Bertie suddenly stood up. “You know, delivering a message like that to James Boyer is simply too much fun to miss. Kolya and I will accompany you tomorrow.”
“In that event, we should prepare ourselves,” Kolya said.
“Perhaps a small disguise that makes you appear somewhat deranged—and thus more unpredictable and dangerous.”
“What an extraordinary idea. Let us start immediately.”
As Kolya and Bertie left, Nigel bent close to Flick’s ear.
“I’m a bit worried about Bertie’s plan.”
“Why?”
“It may damage my relationship with Olivia Hart.”
Flick drove her elbow into Nigel’s ribs.
“Oof! I was only joking. I promise—I’ll never, ever flirt with another woman.”
“You had better not. I know how to plant a corpse under a tea bush so that the tree will thrive!”
Postscript
Words on a tent card placed on every table in the Duchess of Bedford Tearoom:
Patrons are advised not to be startled should Earl (the Grey Parrot) begin to trill “Un Bel Di,” the famous aria from Giacomo Puccini’s renowned opera, Madame Butterfly, in the style of Daniela Dessi. The “performance” is merely Earl’s creative way of inviting his friend and companion, Cha-Cha, for a visit.
Cha-Cha is the small, foxlike dog you may see strolling through the exhibits and galleries of the Royal Tunbridge Wells Tea Museum. He’s a Shiba Inu and does believe he owns the museum.
The following articles—all written by reporter Philip Pellicano—appeared in the Kent and Sussex Courier shortly after the events described on the previous pages:
Makepeace Disappearance Mystery Solved
The Kent Police have apparently concluded that Etienne Makepeace, England’s renowned “Tea Sage,” disappeared some forty years ago because he was shot by a jealous husband in a fit of rage and buried in the garden of the Royal Tunbridge Wells Tea Museum by the same man.
A spokesman for the Kent Police confirmed that they investigated a potential suspect who lived in Tunbridge Wells at the time and is now deceased. They declined to provide the man’s name or other biographical details, pending the completion of their inquiries, but our own investigation indicates that the man in question is Hugh Doyle, a bricklayer by trade. He was the husband of Clara Doyle, who worked as a barmaid at The Horse and Garter, a small pub once located on the London Road in Tunbridge Wells.
The sordid chain of events that apparently led to Makepeace’s disappearance and death in September 1966 began when he made “untoward advances” toward Mrs. Doyle at the pub. These led to subsequent liaisons at other locations in and around Tunbridge Wells. Mr. Doyle, a suspicious man by nature, hired Mr. Horace Rampling, a private inquiry agent based in Sevenoaks, Kent, to shadow Mr. Makepeace and Mrs. Doyle. Mr. Rampling reportedly provided Mr. Doyle with several photographs depicting questionable behavior by the pair on or about September 21, 1966.
On the evening of the same day, Mr. Doyle confronted Mr. Makepeace in The Horse and Garter and threatened his life. Albert “Big Hands” McGuire, the pub’s landlord, a retired professional fighter, was able to intervene and prevent violence at that time.
Mr. Makepeace disappeared a few days after this confrontation. Soon thereafter, Mr. and Mrs. Doyle relocated to Glasgow, Scotland, adopted assumed names, and became greengrocers. Mr. Doyle died in 1995, Mrs. Doyle three years later.
Born in 1910 in Winchester, Etienne Makepeace was often called “England’s Tea Sage,” a moniker he earned in the early 1960s. He is the author of many articles on tea and lectured frequently on the subject, often at the Royal Tunbridge Wells Tea Museum. Makepeace, a bachelor, has one surviving relative, his sister, Mrs. Mathilde Makepeace O’Shaughnessy of Billingshurst, Kent.
Renowned Antiquities Collection Acquired
The Royal Tunbridge Wells Tea Museum has announced its purchase of the Hawker Collection of Antiquities from the heirs of Dame Elspeth Hawker, who died last October in what the police have labeled suspicious circumstances. The fabled Hawker Collection, originally assembled by Commodore Desmond Hawker, perhaps the richest of the nineteenth-century tea merchants, includes more than 2,000 paintings, maps, artifacts, and objects d’art, all related to tea. The collection has been on display at the Royal Tunbridge Wells Tea Museum for the past forty years, on loan from the Hawker family.
“We made the decision to purchase the collection,” says Nigel Owen, the museum’s director, “to ensure that our institution will remain one of the leading tea museums in the world.” Dr. Felicity Adams, the museum’s chief curator, adds, “The Hawker Antiquities Collection is absolutely one of a kind. By purchasing the collection, we have secured an important cornerstone of Britain’s tea heritage—a treasure trove of artworks and artifacts that can now be enjoyed by the public in perpetuity.”
Barrington Bleasdale, Esq., the Hawker family’s solicitor, reported that the current generation of Hawkers expressed great delight in knowing that the collection—always a source of great pride to the family—has at last found a permanent home. The family apparently also plans to sell Lion’s Peak, the Tunbridge Wells estate on Pembury Road, designed by famed nineteenth-century architect Decimus Burton.
Neither the museum nor Mr. Bleasdale would provide the details of the purchase transaction. However, outside sources say the Hawker Collection of Antiquities is estimated to be worth upwards of fifty million pounds—possibly more, had valuable pieces been sold individually to collectors.
New Lecturer At Royal Tunbridge Wells Tea Museum
The Royal Tunbridge Wells Tea Museum announced that Nikolai Melnikov, a self-taught expert on Asian teas, will give a lecture entitled “The Teas Russia Loves” on Friday, March 2 at 2:00 p.m. in the museum’s Grand Hall. The lecture is free and open to the public.
Mr. Melnikov, now a British citizen and a resident of Frant, East Sussex, was born and raised in the former Soviet Union, and served in several diplomatic posts, including a stint at the Soviet Embassy in London during the mid-1960s. “Few Britons realize it,” Melnikov says, “but Russians consume more tons of tea each year than the English do. Tea truly is one of Russia’s national drinks.”
When asked how he developed his expertise, Mr. Melnikov replied, “I had unusual opportunities to read and write about tea during my younger years. The information that flowed through my typewriter stayed with me.”
Mr. Melnikov recently became the third volunteer docent at the museum.
Elizabethan Fiction Gurus To Meet At Local Tea Museum
Professor Laurence Garrett, of the University of Kent, has announced that the Kent Chapter of the Society of Elizabethan Fiction will hold its upcoming one-day conference, “The Elizabethans Invented the Romance Novel,” on February 26 at the Royal Tunbridge Wells Tea Museum. Persons interested in attending the conference should apply to Professor Garrett.
Royal Tunbridge Wells Tea Museum Postpones Its Etienne Makepeace Exhibit
The Royal Tunbridge Wells Tea Museum has announced that it will postpone its previously announced plan to create an exhibit devoted to the life and work of Etienne Makepeace, England’s so-called “Tea Sage.” The exhibit was to be located in a new gallery being constructed in vacant space on the museum’s second floor. The new space will be used to highlight the lives and careers of “unique individuals” who played important roles in the history of tea in Great Britain.
Dr. Felicity Adams, the museum’s chief curator, explained that, “We decided to ‘table’ the idea of a Makepeace exhibit because our research into his life has produced confusing results, to say the least. On the one hand, millions of Britons consider Makepeace a remarkable scholar who encouraged countless people to become interested in fine teas. They admire and respect Makepeace for the positive things he did as England’s Tea Sage. For example, he was a successful lecturer (not an easy thing to achieve!) and a famed radio personality who managed to ‘connect’ with his audience and build a large following on the BBC.
“On the other hand, an equal number of people point to the recent disclosures about Makepeace’s life and death and argue that he lacked moral integrity. They believe that honoring him with a museum exhibit would be inappropriate.
“At the end of the day, we found it impossible to plan an exhibit in the near term that would tell the Etienne Makepeace story honestly and completely. Perhaps we will acquire more information about the Tea Sage in the years ahead and be able to move ahead.”
Dr. Adams adds, “It is wise to learn from the past, but foolish to allow the past to dominate our future.”
Discussion Questions
1. Both Nigel and Flick have present-day fears that are driven by unsuccessful past relationships with members of the opposite sex. Both seem unable to get out from under this “garbage from the past.” Have you ever been troubled by “sins of the past” that won’t let go? How did they impact your present relationships with family, friends, husbands and wives? How did you break loose of their hold? Did any Bible verses give you a helping hand?
2. It took Flick and Nigel time to discover their feelings about each other. For starters, Flick seemed all too willing to jump to the wrong conclusion about Nigel. Have you found yourself feeling insecure in a relationship? Did you blame yourself or the other person? How did you resolve the dilemma?
3. A serious “external impediment” to Flick and Nigel’s relationship was the arrival of Olivia. What mistakes did Nigel make in the way he interacted with Olivia? What advice would you have given Flick had you observed the apparent “coziness” of Nigel and Olivia?
4. Etienne Makepeace committed what today is called sexual harassment. Have you—or someone you know—been a victim? How did you/they handle the problem?
5. Etienne Makepeace also claimed to be something he was not—and held out work done by other people as his own. Have you ever exaggerated your expertise in order to enhance your reputation? Have you ever encountered a person who plagiarized another’s work? How did you respond when you discovered the deception?
About the Authors
Ron and Janet Benrey have been a writing team for nearly two decades. They’ve co-written nine romantic suspense novels, beginning with “Little White Lies.” Despite their authorial togetherness, Ron and Janet have dissimilar backgrounds: Janet has been a literary agent, the editorial director of a small press, an executive recruiter, and a book publicist. Janet earned her degree in Communication (Magna cum Laude) from the University of Pittsburgh.
Ron has been a writer forever—initially on magazines (his first real job was Electronics Editor at Popular Science Magazine), then in corporations (he wrote speeches for senior executives), and then as a novelist. Over the years, Ron has authored ten non-fiction books. His latest is “Know Your Rights: A Survival Guide for Non-Lawyers.” Ron holds degrees in electrical engineering, management, and law.
Ron and Janet live in North Carolina. When they aren’t writing, you’ll probably find them aboard their sailboat, in the Neuse River.
Visit their website: www.benrey.com … and their blog: www.fictionafter50.com
Other Books by the Authors
The Royal Tunbridge Wells Mysteries:
Dead as a Scone
The Pippa Hunnechurch Mysteries:
Little White Lies
The Second Mile
Humble Pie
The Glory Mysteries:
Glory Be!
Gone to Glory
Grits and Glory
Season of Glory
Novella compilation
Building Love
Non-fiction books by Ron Benrey
Know Your Rights: A Survival Guide for Non-Lawyers
Understanding Christianity: Cutting Through the Confusion
The Idiot’s Guide to Writing Christian Fiction
Copyright
The Final Crumpet
Copyright © 2005, 2011 by Ron and Janet Benrey
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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P.O. Box 12721
New Bern, NC 28561
Visit our Web site at www.greenbrierbooks.com
