Ooh, La La!, page 26
“No way! I’ve already opened it.”
“And?”
Skye pulled her bookbag off her shoulders, unzipped a compartment, and pulled out a headset. “It’s a CD player. And guess where it came from?”
“Where?”
“Turkey. He’s in Turkey!”
“Wow. That’s pretty far away.”
“No kidding. The opposite side of the world.”
“So this CD player—do you like it?”
“Sure.” Skye looked down at it. “I can play all my favorite music and you won’t have to hear it.”
“That is a nice gift.”
Skye nodded, but her expression wasn’t one of pure joy. Her eyes held a wistful light.
Kate’s stomach tightened. “Is something wrong, honey?"
“He didn’t really write anything this time.”
Kate’s heart ached for her daughter. She struggled to keep her features neutral, to think of something to say that wouldn’t make the situation worse. Anything she said now would surely come back to haunt her once Skye knew the truth. “What did he write?”
“Just ‘Happy birthday, Dad.’ ”
Kate dug into another box. “Well, I’m sure he’s very busy.”
“Yeah, I guess.” There was a crestfallen, deflated look in Skye’s eyes that made Kate’s soul ache, and for a moment she wished she'd filled the card with all kinds of tender messages. But that would only make the truth harder to bear later.
Skye gazed down at the headset. “I wonder what kind of wildlife he’s working with in Turkey.”
Maybe humor would help. “Probably the endangered Butter-balls,” Kate suggested.
The comment brought a brief smile and a roll of Skye’s eyes. Digging into her bookbag again, she pulled out a piece of brown wrapping paper and thrust it at Kate. “I need to send him a thank-you note. Here’s the postmark. Can we try to trace the package, Mom? Please?”
“Honey, I don’t see any way we’re going to find someone in Istanbul.”
“Maybe a detective could check with the government or something. There can’t be that many American conservationists working there.”
Kate swallowed nervously. There were times when having such an intelligent child was a definite disadvantage. “Skye, sweetie, we’ll have to talk about this later. Right now I have to get this carriage equipment cleared off to use in the next scene.”
Skye’s chin jutted out. “You’re just stalling. You always say we’ll talk about it later, and then you never want to.”
“Honey, this is not the time or the place.” To Kate’s relief, the trailer door opened.
“Oh, there you are, Skye.” Zack sauntered into the room. “I saw your grandmother, so I figured you had to be around here somewhere. How was school?”
“Okay,” the girl answered sulkily.
“You sure? You look upset.”
“That’s not because of school. It’s because of Mom.”
“Yeah, she can be one upsetting individual, that’s for sure.” He shot Kate a wink, then turned back to Skye. “What did she do this time?”
“Well, I got this from my father for my birthday.”
She handed Zack the CD player. Zack looked at it, twirling it in his hands like a football. “Nice gift.”
Skye nodded. “I want to send him a thank-you note, but Mom won’t help me find him.”
“Hmm. Wasn’t there a return address on the package?”
“No.”
“I wonder why not?”
“He doesn’t want Mom contacting him.”
“Well, if he wanted you to contact him, he could have put a note in the package, couldn’t he? Or he could pick up the phone. Or look you up on the Internet. You have your own Web page, don’t you?”
Skye’s eyes grew suspiciously full. Then she squared her shoulders, and her voice became defensive. “He doesn’t contact me because he doesn’t want Mom knowing where he is.”
Zack handed the player back to Skye, then bent and inspected a bridle. “Skye, this may be none of my business, but sometimes when a father disappears, he doesn’t want to be found. Usually it’s because he doesn’t want to pay child support.”
“That’s not the reason!”
“Are you sure?”
Kate’s heart pounded. She saw Skye look at her, and she ducked her head, pretending to write down something on a clipboard.
“Mom has a good job. And—and I bet he doesn’t earn hardly anything, ’cause he’s doing it for the animals, not for money.” Her tone was forceful, as if she was trying to convince herself.
Zack looked thoughtful, as if he was considering her words. “Well, if it were me. I’d still put my child first.” He shifted his stance. “I don’t know all the facts, but from what I can see, your mother has provided for you and loved you and raised you single-handedly all these years. A lot of kids would give anything to have someone who cares about them the way your mother cares about you. I know I would have.” Zack put down the bridle, and picked up something that looked like a riding crop. From the corner of her eye, Kate could see that he was keeping his expression as neutral as his tone. “Maybe you should worry more about appreciating the parent who's always been there for you than tracking down the one who never has.”
Skye’s lower lip trembled, and her eyes filled with tears. Kate longed to pull her into her arms and comfort her, but she was afraid her daughter would push her away. This was one pain that Skye would have to come to terms with on her own.
Zack smacked himself on the forehead. “Oh, hey, I almost forgot the reason I came looking for you. Deb’s been working on the details of your party. She needs the names and addresses of your classmates so she can send out invitations, and I think she has a few other questions for you. Go see if you can help her, okay? She’s in the production trailer.”
Skye nodded, apparently relieved to have a reason to escape the room, and hurried out the door.
Kate watched her go, her throat tight. She looked up at Zack, her heart full.
He held up his hands. “I know, I know—I should mind my own business. But when I walked in and heard her painting you as the bad guy, I couldn’t stop myself. She’s been in denial about this father thing for way too long, and it’s high time someone look the shine off that jerk’s halo. Hopefully it’ll make it easier for you to talk to her later.”
Kate swallowed, trying to choke down the lump in her throat that felt as big as an alligator egg. “Thank you.”
Zack looked surprised. “You’re not mad?”
Would that she were. Anger might shield her from the dangerously warm, tender emotions filling her heart. “I should be, but I’m not.”
Zack’s mouth slanted into a sexy grin. “Probably because I’m so charming you just can’t work up a proper snit, right?”
Kate grinned back. Fondness and something more, something deeper and more profound, was rising up inside her, refusing to stay unacknowledged any longer. “Don’t overrate your charm.”
“I’m glad you’re not mad.” His gaze burned into hers. “I just want to help.”
The air between them was changing, like a weather front moving in. It was softening and warming, and it frightened Kate. She turned back to the box and lifted out a set of reins. “I appreciate it, but sometimes you go too far. Like with this party. I want to pay for it.”
“Hey—I issued the invitation and it’s my treat.”
Kate shook her head. “It’s not your place to pick up the tab for my child’s birthday party.”
“She’s also one of my employees, remember?”
“Oh, right.” Kate rolled her eyes in a more-than-fair imitation of Skye. “You expect me to believe you throw a big birthday party for every part-time gopher on your payroll?”
“Come on, Kate.” He took a step toward her, his eyes questioning and wounded. “Why do you have such a hard time letting me do anything for you or Skye?”
Because every kind, considerate thing you do makes me fall more deeply in love with you.
Dear Lord. She couldn’t fight it anymore. She was in love with Zack! She’d tried to struggle, tried to deny it, but she’d fallen in love with him anyway. How could her heart be so foolish?
He took yet another step toward her.
She staggered back. “I like to pay my own freight. That way I don’t feel beholden to anyone.”
His mouth curved in a grin. “I’d like to be holdin’ you.”
“Very funny.”
“You think that if I pay for Skye’s party, you’ll owe me?”
Kate gave an embarrassed shrug. “Something like that.”
“Darn—you’ve seen right through me.” His eyes were smiling. “I confess—I have an ulterior motive. Want to hear what it is?”
“Probably not, but go ahead and tell me anyway.”
“I have this fantasy of you clinging to me, thrilled beyond words, screaming wildly in my arms. I figured the only way I’ll ever get my dream to come true again is if I get you on a roller coaster.”
He was impossible. Kate couldn’t keep from grinning. “I feel like you’ve already got me on one.”
It was meant to be a flippant response, but the minute his gaze met hers it became something else. “Good,” he murmured. “Because you’ve got me turned upside down and inside out, too.”
“I-I’ve got to take this stuff out to the horse trainer.” She headed to the door.
“Kate?”
She stopped but didn’t turn around.
“I want to throw this party because I care for you, and I care for Skye. So just let me do it, okay? No strings attached.” Kate’s head bobbed in a nod, but her eyes were filling with tears. She opened the door and hurried across the grass, clutching the harnesses to her chest. No strings attached—that was a good one. Didn’t he know that was the whole problem?
Chapter Twenty
“It’s your own granddaughter’s party,” Fritz said. “Why on earth don’t you want to go?”
The rain pounded on the green-and-white striped canvas roof of Cafe Du Monde the next day as Ruth stared down at her cup of cafe au lait, trying to avoid Fritz’s intent gaze. He saw too much when he looked in her eyes, and if he looked at her now, he’d know how anxious she was. She always got a bad case of the jitters if she was in a strange place without Kate or Skye beside her. She was fine on the set because one or both of her family members were always there with her, but this afternoon’s shoot had been delayed because of a downpour, and Fritz had persuaded her to come to the famous coffeeshop while they waited for the weather to clear. He had no idea how difficult it was for her to sit here with him. If he had, he’d think she was nuts.
He already thought she was odd for not wanting to go to Skye’s birthday party. The truth was, there was no way she could spend an entire day at an amusement park. Just the thought of it sent a wave of terror chasing through her. She poured a second packet of sugar into her coffee cup. “I-I don’t like amusement parks.”
“We don’t have to go on any rides that scare you.”
“Well, I hate the idea of Kate or Skye being on any of them. I’d be worried sick if I was there.” It was a true enough statement.
“Those rides are safer than the drive to the amusement park.”
“Another reason not to go.”
She flashed a smile that she hoped would divert him.
It didn’t. Fritz set down his cup and leaned forward, his eyes dark and troubled. “You never want to go anywhere, Ruth. You don’t want to go to dinner or on a walk or to my room. I practically had to twist your arm to get you to come get a cup of coffee with me here.” His eyes were hurt and confused. “Are you ashamed to be seen with me?"
“Oh, Fritz…” Ruth’s heart broke. “You don’t really think that, do you?”
“I don’t know what else to think.”
Tears welled up in Ruth’s eyes. A familiar, panicky feeling welled up inside her as well. She placed her hand over his. “I’m proud to be seen with you.”
“Then, I don’t understand. What’s going on?”
“Nothing. I’m a homebody, that’s all.”
The look in Fritz’s eyes clearly said he wasn’t buying it. “It’s more than that. You can tell me anything, Ruth, and I’ll be okay with it. I can accept any problems you might have. If you’re in the witness protection program, or if you’ve committed some kind of a crime…”
Ruth stared at him. “You think I’m in the witness protection program? Or that I’m a criminal?” Her voice rose with incredulity, making the people at the next table turn and stare at her.
Fritz lifted his hands, his palms up. “I don’t know what to think, except that you’re hiding something from me.”
He was way too perceptive. Panic swelled in her chest. “Whatever it is, Ruth, I can deal with and accept it. The one thing I can’t accept is being shut out.”
Oh, no, it was happening—that horrid stifling feeling, as if someone had put a plastic bag over her head. Her heart began to race, and a sweat broke out on her upper lip. She tried to draw a deep breath, but could only pull a tiny bit of air into her lungs. She tried again, then again—faster and faster and faster, the feeling of panic increasing.
"Ruth?”
She heard Fritz’s voice as if from a distance. She panted, clutching her throat, trying to breathe. There was air all around, but none for her.
“Ruth—are you ill?” Fritz was out of his chair, kneeling in front of her.
The panic swirled around her like a tornado, sucking up her reason, spinning her around. She had to get away. Rising from her chair, she staggered forward, her eyes blinded by tears and terror. She had to get someplace safe, someplace where the air was thin enough to pull into her lungs.
She hurried forward, only to have something—someone— suddenly pull her back, jerking her with such force that it felt as if her arm were being wrenched from the socket. A horn blared beside her, and then everything went black.
“Ruth—Ruth!”
Ruth opened her eyes to see Fritz leaning over her, his eyes wide and worried. His face was dripping wet and framed by gray sky. Her hand felt something hard and rough and wet. “What… Where…”
“You ran into the street, and then you fainted. I managed to catch you so that you didn’t hit your head.”
Oh, dear—she was lying in the rain in a wet gutter, and Fritz was kneeling beside her. An awful sense of shame washed over her.
“Easy, honey Take it easy.” Fritz’s arm came around her, supporting her as she rose to her feet. His chest felt hard and warm and safe. She gulped in a sweet lungful of air. “Does anything hurt?”
She shook her head.
“Let’s go sit down.” His arm around her, Fritz guided her through a throng of umbrella-toting people who were gawking at her as if she were a sideshow exhibit. He led her back to their table under the awning, pulled out her chair, and gently settled her into it. He unhooked his cell phone from his belt and sat down beside her. “I’m going to call an ambulance.”
“No!” The word burst out in alarm. Embarrassed, Ruth modulated her voice. “I-I’m fine.”
“You need medical attention, Ruth. You passed out and you’re shaking like a leaf. You might have had a heart attack or some kind of stroke.”
She ran a hand across her forehead. “I’ll be fine. This always passes once I catch my breath.”
His brows pulled together. “This has happened before?”
Oh, dear—how had she let that slip out? But there was no taking it back. Her head bobbed in a reluctant nod.
“Well, if you don’t want an ambulance, I’ll take you to an emergency room. You need to be looked at.”
“I-I just need to go home.”
“After you’re seen by a doctor.” The iron in his voice and the steely glint in his eyes told her that arguing was pointless.
Despair filled her soul. Once Fritz learned how crazy she was, he’d never want to see her again.
Ruth’s bare feet dangled nervously from an examining table at Mercy Hospital as a young emergency room physician moved a cold stethoscope around her back. Across the room, Fritz sat in a blue vinyl chair against the wall, his eyes worried.
The doctor finally straightened, pulled the stethoscope from his ears, and gave Ruth a reassuring smile. “Your vital signs are good, your lungs are clear, and your heart sounds healthy. There’s no indication you’ve had any kind of cardiac or pulmonary incident.”
“Thank God.” Fritz drew a relieved breath of the antiseptic-scented air. “So what happened?”
The doctor draped the stethoscope around his neck and pulled a prescription pad out of the pocket of his white jacket. “I believe she had a panic attack. It’s a common anxiety disorder, and it fits the symptoms you described.” He looked at Ruth. “I’m going to give you a short-term prescription for an antianxiety drug, and I’d like you to follow up with a psychiatrist, Mrs. Matthews.”
Ruth’s heart pounded. “No. No way. I’m not crazy.”
“No one is saying you are.” The doctor drew a pen from his breast pocket. “You have a treatable disorder—one that is actually very common A psychiatrist can evaluate you and decide on the best course of treatment.”
“I don’t need a shrink. There’s nothing wrong with me that a little rest won’t cure.”
Fritz placed his hand on her back. “Ruth, let’s follow the doctor’s recommendations,” he suggested.
She turned to him, her eyes pleading. “There’s nothing wrong with me. The doctor just said I’m perfectly healthy.”
The doctor frowned. “I said your vital signs are good. But you’re exhibiting signs of anxiety.”
“Well, of course I am.” Ruth gave a nervous smile. “You’d be anxious, too, if you were sitting here wearing nothing but a paper hospital gown.”
The doctor smiled.
“Can I get dressed now?”
“Of course. But I hope you’ll consider my recommendation.” The doctor went out the door.
“I’ll wait for you outside,” Fritz told Ruth, pulling the door closed behind him. He caught up with the doctor in the hall. “You’re pretty sure it’s this anxiety thing?” Fritz asked.
