Our prospects weren’t very promising. Barring a Christmas miracle, I doubted that my three friends would be able to track us down in time. While Sid was correct in assuming that our abduction had been reported to the cops, the chances of some black and white spotting the van on the way to the river were slim and none.

  If we were going to survive, it was up to me to find a way.

  I looked at Billy, who was still rocking and clutching Puff the Magic Dragon. If we were going to get out of this mess, I’d need his help.

  I scooted to his side and whispered, “Billy! This is Walt. I really need your help right now.”

  No response. I wondered if he could even hear me. I remembered a line from the song, where they ‘frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honahlee,’ and I could imagine him retreating in his mind to some safe place where he and Puff were doing just that.

  Then I remembered another line and it gave me an idea. ‘Noble kings and princes would bow whene’er they came. Pirate ships would lower their flag when Puff roared out his name.’

  I nudged him. “Billy! I need Puff! Nasty pirates have taken us prisoner and only Puff came save us. Can you get him for me?”

  He stopped rocking and the blank stare disappeared.

  Encouraged, I continued, “Billy! Can you hear me? I need you and Puff! Now!”

  He turned and looked at me, obviously confused. “Walt? What? Where ---?”

  I doubted he would remember anything from the moment we were shoved into the van.

  “Billy, listen very carefully. The men who hurt Santa --- they’ve taken us prisoner and they’re going to hurt us. I need your help.”

  “What can I do?”

  “You can start by untying me.”

  He was just starting to move when the door flew open.

  “Okay, on your feet --- both of you. Move it!”

  “Walt?” Billy wailed. “What should I do?”

  “It’s okay, Billy. Let’s just do as the man says. Let’s go.”

  As we struggled to our feet, Billy whispered, “Are these the bad men who hurt Santa?”

  I nodded.

  “Hurry up!” Sid ordered, pushing us along. “We haven’t got all day.”

  It was a fifteen-minute drive to the river. During that time, I racked my brain trying to think of a way out of our predicament, but when the van pulled to a stop, I had nothing.

  Sid opened the cargo door, ordered us out, and pushed us toward the dock that jutted into the river.

  I shuddered as I saw the muddy current swirling around the pilings. The weather had been cold and chunks of ice floated by. A few minutes more and our bodies would be floating along with them.

  “On your knees!” Sid ordered.

  My hands were still bound, but they’d never tied Billy, obviously not considering him a threat.

  Sid leveled the gun at my head. “Any last words, old timer?”

  I turned to Billy. His eyes were wide with terror. It wasn’t the vacant stare I had seen earlier. I almost wished it was. Maybe then he wouldn’t realize what was coming.

  “Billy, if Puff is there with you, we need him now!”

  “Enough!” Sid bellowed. “Time to kiss your ass goodbye.”

  I saw the terror in Billy’s eyes turn to anger, then to resolve.

  “Nooooo!” he shouted. “You hurt Santa, but you’re not going to hurt my friend!”

  Before Sid could react, Billy charged, crashing into the startled gunman. The gun flew from his hand and he stumbled toward the edge of the dock. Then I saw the terror in his eyes just as he tumbled backward into the swirling current.

  He surfaced once, then slid beneath the choppy waves.

  Loren, obviously in shock at the sudden turn of events, seemed riveted to the ground just beyond the dock.

  “Billy! Quick, grab the gun.”

  Billy picked up the .357 with shaky hands and pointed it at Loren. “D - d - don’t move or I’ll have to hurt you.”

  Loren dropped to his knees, sobbing. “It wasn’t me. It was all Sid. I’m so sorry.”

  “You can untie me now, Billy.”

  Once my hands were free, I took the gun from his shaky hand and gave him a hug.

  He smiled and hugged me back.

  “Walt, did Puff and I do good?”

  “Yeah Billy, you did real good.”

  CHAPTER 7

  Thankfully, Loren had a cell phone. I made a call, and soon the dock was crawling with cops. My second call was to Kevin, and twenty minutes later my three friends appeared. My third call was to Miss Coe at the Mayview Center. We were going to be late and I didn’t want her to worry.

  Detective Blaylock, a good friend from my days on the force, had caught the call.

  “Walt? What in the Sam Hill are you doing here? I thought you retired.”

  “I’ve tried,” I replied. “I’m just not very good at it.”

  He gave a big sigh. “Okay, let’s hear it from the beginning.”

  When I’d finished, he turned to Ox and Judy who were, of course, still on the force. “So the two of you were part of this harebrained scheme?”

  “In our defense,” Ox replied, “it wasn’t harebrained until that school bus came by. It was actually working.”

  Blaylock shook his head. “I’m sure the captain will want a word with the two of you in the morning.”

  “To commend us for helping apprehend the Santa Claus mugger,” Judy replied, smiling.

  “Yeah, that’s it. You wish!”

  He looked at each of us in disbelief. “You people have gotten yourselves in some deep doodoo over the years, and somehow you always come out smelling like a rose. You were really lucky this time.”

  “It wasn’t luck,” I replied. “We had help.”

  “Oh really? From who?”

  “Puff the Magic Dragon.”

  I saw the perplexed look on his face.

  “Never mind.”

  On the ride back to the Mayview Center, I could see that Billy was deep in thought.

  “That was a very brave thing you did back there,” I said, breaking the silence.

  “Thank you,” he replied sheepishly.

  “And I think you know, down deep, that Puff had nothing to do with what happened.”

  “Yeah, I know. I’ve been thinking about that. Ever since Mom and Dad were killed, I’ve been afraid. All these years, Puff has helped me deal with that fear. But something happened tonight. I decided I didn’t want to be afraid anymore. When Dad hurt Mom and the police hurt my Dad, I was just a helpless kid and there was nothing I could do. But I’m not a kid anymore. I lost two people who were important to me, and I just didn’t want to lose my new friend. Tonight, there was something I could do, and I did it.”

  I was glad it was dark. I didn’t want Billy to see the tears staining my cheeks.

  It was interesting to see Marsha Coe’s reaction when I shared our evening’s activities. It started as disbelief, then turned into relief when she heard that the men responsible for the Santa mugging were no longer a threat. But suddenly it dawned on her that we had staged the whole thing.

  “Wait a minute! You planned this! You used Billy as bait!”

  “Yes, we did, and here’s why. Those two muggers were shadowing Billy every day, just waiting for the right moment to take him out. The police were getting nowhere, and it was only a matter of time until the perps found the right moment to strike. Knowing they were looking for that moment, we set it up, but stacking the deck in our favor. Everything was going according to plan until that bus showed up.”

  “But you both could have been killed.”

  “You’re exactly right, and we would be dead right now except for one thing.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Tonight, Billy Baker became a man. That first night when I brought Billy home after the mugging, you said that Billy wouldn’t be able to grow emotionally and intellectually until he came to terms with the violent deaths of his parents. Tonight, that’s exactly what happened. He doesn’t want to be afraid anymore. Here’s the thing you must understand. If our little adventure had proceeded as we planned, Billy would still be hiding in his make-believe world. It was our near-death experience that made him face reality and break out of his self-imposed prison. Sometimes it's hard to explain why things happen the way they do.”

  Now tears were streaming down her cheeks. She gave me a big hug.

  “Thank you --- and thank your friends for me. Sometimes, it’s difficult to understand how things can change in such a short period of time. It was just a few days ago that you, a total stranger, found Billy crying on that street curb. You cared enough to get involved, and now, maybe Billy can get past the horror that has held him back for twenty years. Since it’s the right season, I’m going to call it a Christmas miracle.”

  “Speaking of Christmas,” I said, “how do you celebrate here at Mayview?”

  “We can’t do much on our limited budget. You’ve seen our tree. We usually try to do something on Christmas eve, but it’s nothing to write home about.”

  “Would you be open to trying something different this year? Maybe have a pot luck dinner? I know some folks who would be happy to come share the holiday with all of you. I also know a 220-pound guy who would make a great Santa. What do you think?”

  A smile lit up her face. “I think that would be wonderful!”

  CHAPTER 8

  Everyone in my building is old. Dad, Bernice, and the Professor are in their nineties. Maggie, Willie, and I are all in our seventies, and Jerry the Joker is almost there.

  None of us have family close by, so, by default, we all see ourselves as one big aged family. We include Kevin and his wife, Veronica, and Ox and Judy. They’re by themselves too.

  We spend holidays together so none of us will be alone.

  Several years ago, we started volunteering in the Salvation Army soup kitchen at Thanksgiving and that’s become an annual tradition.

  We also spend Christmas together, but even that’s become quite predictable. Every year Jerry gives one of us either a battery powered fart machine or a whoopie cushion. Without a doubt, we’re the only apartment building on Armour Boulevard, or anywhere in the city now that I think about it, where every tenant has the ability to create artificial flatulence.

  Dad always gives Bernice some lacy undergarment from Victoria’s Secret, and without fail, I’ll see her in the hallway, sneaking over to Dad’s apartment, wearing only her new gift. Then for the next several days, I try unsuccessfully to erase the image burned into my psyche.

  Needless to say, it didn’t take much arm twisting for everyone to agree to spend Christmas Eve at Mayview.

  There were, however, compromises.

  “Why do I always have to be Santa?” Ox lamented.

  “Look around,” I replied. “Who else among us could fill the suit?”

  “Okay, but you have to be the elf.”

  This wasn’t our first North Pole gig. On another occasion, we had played Santa and Herman the Elf at a Toys for Tots benefit.

  It was to be a pot luck dinner, and years before, we learned our lesson --- assign dishes. On that occasion, no one had an assigned dish, so everyone brought pumpkin pie. We had enough pie to feed the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Everyone except Willie. He brought chitlins. We made him promise never to do that again.

  I learned that Mayview housed not only the developmentally handicapped, but battered wives and their children as well. I got a list of the current residents from Marsha. The enrollment was twenty. We wanted to provide some small gift for everyone, especially the children. No child should be left out at Christmas.

  At last the big day arrived.

  Delicious aromas drifted from every apartment in our building. Bernice had made Snickerdoodles and made each of us try one before she boxed them up. She didn’t have to try very hard.

  Everyone had arrived at the Mayview Center by four o’clock. Marsha had set up tables covered with red and green paper tablecloths. Soon, the tables were filled with all kinds of good things to eat.

  At four-thirty, Marsha rang a bell and everyone gathered around the tables.

  “The first thing we should do is thank our guests for preparing this wonderful meal for us.”

  There were nods all around and a chorus of ‘thank you’s.’

  “Before we eat, it’s our custom to say grace. Who would like to do that?”

  Billy raised his hand. “I would, Miss Coe --- if it’s all right with everyone.”

  “Certainly, Billy. Let’s all join hands and bow our heads.”

  I had been looking into the faces of the people around the table. Some were like Billy, who had been subjected to such terrible violence that their lives had been permanently scarred. There were women who had been beaten until at last they could endure no more, and had fled with their children. Then there were the children, who at a tender age had seen things no child should ever see. I saw the faces of my friends, and as we all joined hands, I was thankful that I was not the only one shedding a tear.

  “Dear Heavenly Father,” Billy began, “It’s Christmas, when we celebrate the greatest gift ever given --- the birth of your Son, Jesus. Thank you for that, and thank you for this special place we call home. It’s not a home like other people have, but it’s our home. Thank you for Miss Coe and all the others who make this a safe and happy place for us. We especially thank you for these people who have come into our lives to share their food and their friendship. We ask you to bless the food before us so we may become stronger and overcome the obstacles in our lives. Amen.”

  Marsha was obviously moved. “Thank you, Billy,” she said, wiping away a tear. “Let’s all grab a plate and enjoy this wonderful meal.”

  Everyone ate their fill and we made it through with only one mishap. Ox had brought his favorite pot luck dish, little cocktail weenies in barbecue sauce. He always brings it, and he always manages, much to Judy’s dismay, to dribble sauce down the front of his shirt.

  The kids got a kick out of seeing the biggest guy in the room getting scolded by his wife.

  Once everything was cleaned up, Jerry summoned everyone to the Christmas tree. Jerry never misses an opportunity to perform and tonight was no exception. He no doubt, had a whole repertoire of Christmas jokes prepared to regale his captive audience.

  “Gather ‘round everyone, have a seat, and let’s share some Christmas cheer. How about some Christmas riddles? What’s red & white, red & white, and red & white?”

  No one answered.

  “Santa Claus rolling down a hill!”

  The kids giggled and the adults rolled their eyes.

  “Okay, what do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?”

  Pause.

  “A Christmas quacker!”

  Jerry’s monologue was our cue to get dressed. Ox, Judy, Maggie, and I slipped out of the room and headed to Marsha’s office where we’d hidden our costumes.

  Judy helped Ox struggle into his red suit and beard, while Maggie helped me into my elf suit, complete with pointy hat and pointy-toed shoes.

  When we were dressed, Ox gave me the once-over. “You look ridiculous.”

  “Thanks for noticing, and by the way, if you were the only Santa around, they’d cancel Christmas.”

  So much for holiday cheer.

  “Shut up you two,” Maggie admonished. “The kids will love you.”

  Ox hoisted the bag of presents we’d bought. “Well, ho, ho, ho, and all that other crap!”

  “Let’s go, Scrooge,” Judy said, kicking him in the butt.

  As we approached, we heard Jerry’s last joke.

  “Why was the snowman rummaging in the bag of carrots? He was picking his nose!”

  The kids roared at that one. The adults, not so much.

  Then he saw us coming down the hall. “Okay kids. How many of you know Here comes Santa Claus?”

  Every hand went up.

  “Good! Then let’s sing and maybe he’ll actually come.”

  We let them sing the first chorus before we made our grand entrance.

  “Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas,” Ox bellowed, with more enthusiasm this time.

  The kids were beside themselves.

  In the next half-hour, Ox and I passed out gifts to each of the Mayview residents. I watched Ox’s face as eager hands unwrapped their gifts and big smiles broke out on their faces. The big gruff guy wasn’t fooling anyone. He was thoroughly enjoying every minute.

  When the gifting was done, and we’d changed back into our civvies, Jerry took the floor once again. “We’ve enjoyed a good meal, shared some jokes, and opened some presents. Now it’s time to celebrate what this season is really about. John, I’ll turn it over to you.”

  I was surprised to see Dad come forward and open a Bible.

  “I’d like to read the story of the first Christmas from the book of Luke. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them; and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day, in the city of David, a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.”

  His reading was interrupted by gasps and looks of surprise.

  I turned to see what had captured their attention.

  A young woman in her mid-to-late twenties and a little girl had just entered the building. The woman was carrying a small suitcase.

  Suddenly, she dropped the suitcase and fell to her knees weeping.

  “I --- I didn’t know where else to go.”

  CHAPTER 9

  Marsha was the first to rush to her side. This wasn’t her first rodeo, and she knew exactly what to say and do.

  “It’s okay,” she said, helping the woman to her feet. “You and your daughter are safe here. My name is Marsha. What’s yours?”

  “Uhh, Cindy. Cindy Stewart.”

  “And who is this beautiful young lady?” she asked, pointing to the little girl desperately clinging to her mother’s leg.

 

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