Fixed Asset (Downrange), page 14
“Don’t take this the wrong way; I’m not looking for a mommy, I don’t need a woman to take care of me, but my mom taught me how I should expect a woman to love me. And that has nothing to do with her spoiling me. She openly adored my dad, loved the family they created. But if I had to guess, what she loved the most was the way her husband loved his daughter. I want to give that to my family. I want to give to my wife what my father gave to my mother, so my wife can give to my children what my mom gave me.”
Cat untwined our fingers, lifted her hand, and traced the line of my jaw.
“I love the way she loved you,” she whispered.
“I do too.”
That was an understatement.
“I love the way you love her.”
I remained quiet. Cat continued tracing my jaw up to my temple and back down, her eyes following her finger. A soft, sweet touch.
“What’s your mom’s name?” she asked.
“Nora.”
Her eyes dashed to mine and flared.
“Nora? Really?”
I nodded, not understanding the sudden change.
“That’s my gran’s name. Nora Mae. My mom’s name is Faye Nora, after her mother.”
My hand shot out and tagged her around the back of her neck. I tugged her closer until our foreheads touched. My sinuses clogged, and I felt my eyes itch.
“My sister tried to name her first daughter Nora,” I told Cat. “My dad explained the Defcon-level war she’d start if she took that name from me. Anna chose another name.”
“Then it’s decided,” Catarina whispered.
“It’s decided,” I confirmed.
“I have Lina, Steven, Lars, Lauren, and the heathen twins, and that’s all I have.”
I didn’t understand where she was going, so I remained quiet and waited for her to continue.
“I’m not ready yet. I need a few more years of doing what I’m doing. I still have the fire in my belly. But when the time’s right, I want a big family, and I want to be home with that family. I don’t want my babies losing me like I lost my mom. I want them to have what you had. I want to spoil my boys and give my Nora a daddy who thinks she’s a princess and will love her and tell her the sun rises and sets with her.”
Give my Nora a daddy who thinks she’s a princess.
Goddamn, I wanted that with Catarina more than I’d ever wanted anything other than my mother to still be alive.
I had to sniff and clear my throat before I could tell her, “When you’re ready, I’ll give you everything you want.”
“A few years, but no more than four. If I see the words geriatric pregnancy on a single form, I will lose my shit, and it might get messy. Lauren might have to dip into the heathens’ bail account to get me out of jail.”
And my smart-ass Catarina was back.
“I’ll make sure to fill out all the medical paperwork. We can’t have my baby mama in lockup.”
“That might be a good idea. Or we can have an at-home birth.”
I held my breath waiting for her to tell me she was kidding. That wait was in vain. And with that, an irrational fear about something that had not happened and would not happen for years to come started pooling in my gut.
“Baby, you are not giving birth to our children at home. You’ll be in a hospital with medical professionals.”
“Women have babies at home every day.”
The insanity of that stunned me into silence.
“Nothing to say to that?” she hedged.
“I reserve the right to circle back to this conversation at such time an appropriate comeback pops into my head.”
“Nope. Gotta be quick, Jack. No comeback, you lose.”
Seeing as we were discussing our future children, there was no losing when it came to this conversation.
Future children with Catarina.
“You realize we’re planning where you’ll give birth to our children in the parking lot of the In-N-Out off Coronado Avenue.”
Cat tipped her chin, pulled her forehead off mine, and pressed a kiss to my mouth.
“The where is never important. The who is.”
“Remember this morning when I was being all sweet, hearts, and flowers?” I asked.
“Feel like that was five hundred years ago, but yes, I remember you telling me how bodacious my breasts are.”
I couldn’t stop my laugh from spilling out.
“I was going to say, I forgot to include wise in the list of things that are perfect about you. But since you used the word bodacious, I’m retracting my amendment.”
Catarina pressed her lips against mine again. This time, she didn’t pull away far when she mumbled, “Admit it, you love me.”
Like gasoline to fire, my heart lit.
“No, baby, I love the fuck out of you.”
I felt her smile against my lips.
“I love the fuck out of you too.”
She was right, it was the who you were with that was important.
But right then, as those words settled deep in my soul—the where was important too. Where we were going together. The future we’d have. The mistakes we would make. The forgiveness we would need. The love we’d give each other. The family we would make.
Chapter Eighteen
Pete had not exaggerated.
But what he’d left out was that Jack’s house was staged—as in, it was a show house.
“This is freaking me out,” I told him.
He’d given me a mini tour of the downstairs, with the promise he’d show me the rest tomorrow. I didn’t quibble. My belly was full of the best hamburgers on the planet, I’d slurped down a milkshake, and now all I wanted was to brush my teeth and fall into bed.
But seriously, his house was giving me a complex. I wasn’t sure if I could live in a house that looked staged and ready to sell. Hell, I didn’t think he should live in this house. Not because he didn’t deserve nice things, but no part of this house that I’d seen was relaxing and inviting. None of the couches—yes, he had more than one; he had four—said “Sit and chill while catching up on Netflix and eating Doritos.”
Jack remained silent and directed me into the master bedroom—his huge bedroom. And decorating this room was furniture that looked heavy and expensive. But what caught my attention besides the four-poster bed were the double doors that led out to a balcony. I only had a few seconds to take in his room before we stepped into his bathroom.
“Okay, I’ve changed my mind,” I breathed, taking in the splendor of the en suite. “I could live in here.”
“I bought this house as an investment,” he told me. “I also bought it fully furnished. It’s too much house for me. It was also more than I wanted to spend. But this bathroom and the deck off the back, which you’ll see tomorrow, is why I bought this place. The balcony off the bedroom isn’t bad, but the deck is peaceful with a great view of the ocean. The sunsets can’t be beat. I’m rarely here, so I don’t use the furniture—which I don’t like, but it’ll help sell the house. Even though I spent more than I wanted, I still got this house for a steal. It had fallen out of escrow twice. The sellers had already bought a new house in Montana and moved. They needed to dump this place. Pete knows the agent who was listing it. I came in with a cash offer, they knocked down the price, and I bought it. You wanna sell the furniture and replace it with yours or buy new, we can do that. But I have more than a year left before I can sell so I don’t get nailed with capital gains tax.”
Shit. He thought I didn’t like his house.
“I didn’t mean . . . I was joking. Your house is beautiful. It’s a showplace.”
“What I’m trying to tell you is, I’m not married to this house. I never planned on staying in this house. You’re right; it’s a showplace, not a family home. It has no yard. And floor-to-ceiling windows that would give me a heart attack to have a toddler bang on. But until we can sell and move, I want you to be comfortable.”
At that moment, Jack surely didn’t look comfortable; he looked the extreme opposite of that.
He kept saying “we” in regard to the house. Obviously, he hadn’t changed his mind about me moving to California.
“Okay, Jack, I’m just going to come right out and ask. What’s going on?”
Both his hands came up and he pawed through his hair. Now I was freaking out, and not in the kidding way.
“Jack?”
“I want you to move in here with me. You said you were moving to San Diego, but you didn’t specify where. I want you here.”
If it was possible for a heart to pound so hard it broke ribs, mine would’ve.
“And you’re afraid I won’t like your mansion on the water with staging furniture, and I’ll opt for an apartment to move into instead.”
“Something like that,” he grunted.
I’d never seen Jack unsure of himself. I’d call it cute, but it wasn’t, not when what he was unsure about was me.
“Jack, honey, I don’t care where I live as long as it’s with you. This place is off-the-charts gorgeous. If you want to sell it in a few years, sell it. If you want to stay and raise fifteen kids here, then that’s what we’ll do. If you want to move to Alaska to be next to your family, then that’s where we go.”
“Cat—”
I reached up and pressed my fingers against his lips to silence him.
“I’ve been worried. I see what you’re doing, how you’re fighting who you are to give me what I need right now. I was scared that you were giving up more than I was. That the scales were tipped so far in my direction that I’d be unable to even it out. But I was looking at it all wrong. I was thinking about it in the short term when we’re playing the long game. We’ll work it out, Jack. The only thing that needs to be decided has been decided—the rest, the details, those don’t matter.”
With my fingers still on his lips he asked, “Fifteen kids?”
I shrugged. “I’m an only child. I grew up with my gran but no other family around. Are you not up for the challenge?”
I felt Jack’s lips twitch under my fingertips. “Up to the challenge of making fifteen babies, fuck yeah. Raising all those little fuckers, no. And I’m man enough to admit when I’m visiting my sister and her four are running around, that’s about my limit. We have four boys, we’ll have a fifth in hopes it’s a girl. We have four girls, we’re stopping.”
“Um, no. If we have four girls, we’re having a fifth so I get my boy.”
Jack’s eyes went soft. In the dim light of the bathroom, they were black. I hoped my future boys got their daddy’s eyes.
“Decided.”
“See? We’re already rockin’ the hell out of this relationship gig.”
One minute Jack was standing in front of me, laughing at my stupidity, the next his arms were around me and his tongue was in my mouth. I had yet to decide which I liked more, making him laugh or him kissing me, when he broke the kiss.
“You wanna shower before bed?”
I glanced over at his magnificent walk-in shower and suddenly wanted to wash off my day.
“Yeah.”
“I’m gonna go lock up and set the alarm. I’ll be back up in a few minutes to join you.”
“’Kay.”
I didn’t know how long it had taken Jack to come back. It could’ve been the few minutes he said it would be or it could’ve been an hour. Once I was under his rainfall showerhead and the hot water was rinsing my long day down the drain, I lost track of time. I was in a daze of magical shower euphoria, but not enough of one that I missed Jack’s big, naked body against my back.
“I like your shower.”
“Our shower,” he corrected.
“I was thinking on the plane, I’ll keep my place in Arizona. We can Airbnb it for now. If it turns into a pain in the ass, we’ll sell.”
“Whatever you want.”
Jack. That was all I wanted.
That was easy.
I turned in his arms and looked up at him. “I feel small next to you.”
He frowned immediately. “I don’t ever want you to feel small.”
Good Lord, could I love this man any more?
A few seconds later, when he reached behind me and grabbed a bottle of shampoo, I learned I could.
“Turn back around.”
I turned.
Jack commenced washing my hair. Strong hands massaged my scalp around my temples before lathering the strands.
“That feels amazing,” I groaned.
“Are you gonna leave your hair this color?”
It took me a moment to realize what he’d asked. “You don’t like me with brown hair?”
“Honestly, when I first saw the color, I was pissed. I fell in love with you as a blonde; that’s how you came to me in my dreams. Seeing that gone was like a punch to the gut. But now I’m used to it. You’re gorgeous either way.”
That’s how you came to me in my dreams.
I spun to face him, tilted my head up, and forgot I had shampoo in my hair until I had suds in my eyes.
“Ouch.” I closed my eyes and muscled my way under the spray to wash off my face.
I felt Jack’s hand swipe my forehead. “Jesus, baby, what the fuck?”
My hands bumped into his as I tried to get the soap out of my eyes.
I chanced reopening my eyes. I gave it a second. When I didn’t feel the burn, I asked, “You dreamed of me?”
He moved me back under the spray. “Close your eyes and tip your head back.”
I did as he asked. He went to work rinsing the shampoo out.
“I dreamed of us in Las Vegas, just the two of us there, having fun. I dreamed of waking up next to you in my bed in my Idaho house. I dreamed of us horseback riding—and baby, I gotta admit, that one threw me. My ass has never been on the back of a horse, and I have no interest in ever riding.”
My body started shaking with laughter. “Well, I moved to Texas after Gran died, so I have been on the back of a horse, and I’m not a fan.”
“I dreamed of me kissing you, us making love. I dreamed about eating your pussy, you giving me head.”
I felt myself smile. “Was it good?”
“Hell yeah. Woke up hard, jerked off to my dream Cat.”
His hands went to my shoulders, and he turned me. I took that as I was clear to open my eyes.
“I missed you when you were gone. So many times I had your number pulled up on my phone, but I couldn’t get myself to call. I was afraid to hear your voice. I’d convinced myself that if I really loved you, I had to stay away from you. I had to let you go so I didn’t suffocate you. In my stupidity, it never occurred to me that I was the problem. That to have you, all I had to do was trust you. It was my fuckup. And I hope you know how sorry I am.”
And there he did it again, made me love him even more.
“You’re talented, Jack Donovan. I think you’re the only man on the planet who can turn me on one second and make me feel warm and melty the next.”
“I’m good like that, baby.”
I stopped teasing and got serious.
“I missed you too. And I had your number. I should’ve called you, but the way things ended, I was afraid I’d messed everything up and you hated me.”
Watching Jack walk away had been the worst. Worse than the worst. I had felt my heart break and hadn’t thought it’d ever be whole again.
“I could never hate you, Catarina.”
Jack leaned forward, his mouth aiming for mine, so I rolled up on my toes and met him halfway.
And just because he was Jack—not only talented but an overachiever—he had me turned on and panting into his mouth while that warm and melty feeling was still coursing through me.
Chapter Nineteen
“Jack.”
Catarina’s neck arched with her moan.
My hips pumped faster. Her sleek, tight wet clutched my cock.
“Jack.”
Her pussy clenched tight.
There it was, my name falling from her lips while she went over the edge.
My mouth slammed over Catarina’s to capture her groan, and I powered in harder. I fucked her through her orgasm. Pulses turned into flutters. I broke the kiss and pulled out.
“Knees.”
It took Catarina a moment to focus on my command, but then she scrambled to do my bidding.
“Cheek to the bed.”
She did that too.
My hands went to her hips, my eyes fell to her perfect ass perched high. On their own accord, my palms slid down over her ass.
“Time for your spanking, baby.”
I saw her cheeks clench, followed by a shiver.
“Whatever you want, Jack.”
The dichotomy of emotions hit me. The need to possess and mark her mixed with overwhelming love and affection. The need to fuck her so hard she’d feel my possession, and the need to slowly caress and make love to her.
“Right now, I want to turn your ass red.” My hands slowly drifted over smooth skin. “I want to see my handprint on your ass while I’m taking you. I want to hear you mindless. I want you to feel me so deep you never forget who you belong to.”
“Then do it.”
My cock jerked, straining to get back inside. I dipped down, found her slick opening, and slammed home. Tight heat welcomed my intrusion.
My hips pulled back. On an inward glide, my palm came down with a smack. Cat’s pussy rippled. Oh yeah, my girl was going to take her spanking and love it. Two more thrusts followed by cracks to her ass had color blooming.
“More?”
“Yes.”
Her groan drowned out the sound of my palm landing on her ass. I rubbed away the sting and drove my hips forward.
“You gonna come for me again, Catarina?”
“You gonna make me?”
Christ, I loved her smart-ass mouth.
I bent over her, brushing her tangled mess of hair off her back and face as I went. With my chest flush to her back, my cock buried as deep as I could get, I gently kissed her temple.
