Deviant Dark Dryads: A Fantasy Adventure (False Icons Book 4), page 8
“Forget this, asshole!” Tempting as it was to slice and dice my way through the horde of hell-beasts with Moolnir egging me on, I pushed past the throng and drove my axe into the barrier instead. The blade erupted into pure flame, vaporizing the ice within seconds. There came a pleasant ding and then the elevator doors opened. With it came a blast of icy wind that began sucking all the bound monstrosities into it. Phil and I dropped flat as a swarm of fangs, claws, and God knows what else flew over our heads on their way back to the Underworld.
“Join us!” a thousand voices cried out. “Join us, Jessie.”
Of course, it would figure the evil swarm knew me by name. Talk about comic book villain trope number one. “I’ll take a rain check,” I whispered to myself.
“The queens of hell used you, Jessie. Aïdōneús lied as well. Join us and get your revenge.”
Okay, that was a bit more specific, but I still wasn’t listening.
“They don’t want you to know the truth, that’s why they stole your memories...”
“Wait...what?”
“...and you still owe me one hundred, drachma, you little bitch!”
That was the last thing I heard as the elevator doors dinged back shut. Niko came jogging in to join us, quickly checking his computer before breathing a sigh of relief. “You did it! No more incursions detected... for now at least. We’re clear!”
I realized he wasn’t talking to us as there came a blast of frosty air. In the next second, the Big Guy materialized, standing in front of the elevator. He inhaled then blew out a frosty breath across the doors in true Superman fashion, once again freezing them. He gave us a cheesy thumbs-up, but then stumbled and dropped to one knee.
“Guess I... should’ve done... more cardio,” he wheezed before collapsing onto the floor.
I rushed to his side, and he grabbed hold of my hand but gone was the godly strength that had bear-hugged me earlier. Instead, it felt like holding little James’s paw.
“Listen to me, champion,” he said, the brightness fading from his light eye.
“Later,” I told him. “You need to rest.”
“I... know what those voices said to you. They... weren’t wrong. I did... lie.”
“What?”
“You... must understand. Everyone lies, Jessie... especially the gods.”
“But I don’t understand.”
“No time for the rest.” He looked up at me and smiled weakly. “Long story... short. Hades is fucked. Once... my dad is done... ripping it apart, he’s coming for Earth.”
“Your father? Who...?”
He didn’t hear me, though. The almighty king of the Underworld had already passed out.
Chapter Twelve: Top Dog
I followed silently as a group of shades outfitted with paramedic gear lifted Aiden’s unmoving form onto a stretcher and carried him upstairs. Rather than load him into an ambulance, though, they brought him to his corner office where they laid him on the couch. Once done, they cleared the room and then Phil, Niko, and a few others worked a spell to create a translucent barrier around the space.
“Shouldn’t he be in a hospital?” I asked once they were finished.
“So they can do what?” Phil replied. “Shove an IV up his ass and collect a hefty paycheck while admitting they have no fucking idea what’s going on?”
Niko stepped between us. “Please, Philomena. A little respect perhaps?” He then turned to me. “She’s right, though. There’s nothing human medicine can do for him. He overexerted himself. What he needs is time to rest until he snaps out of it on his own.”
“Overexerted? Are we talking about Aiden or Aïdōneús?”
He shrugged. “Both.”
“How does a god...?”
“Pretty easily as a matter of fact,” another voice intoned from behind me.
I turned to find a golden-skinned snake woman wearing dark sunglasses approaching us. “Brittany!”
“Hey, you,” she replied, before giving me a big hug. “We’ve missed you around here. Hell of a time to take some PTO.”
“I didn’t take any...”
Before I could finish, she turned to Niko. “Server room’s secure, boss. Although, the hallway leading to it is a bit clogged with zombie statues if you catch my drift.”
He nodded. “Have them cleared out but ask facilities first if any are suitable for the lobby.”
“A few weeping angels in the reception area? I can dig that vibe,” she said with a little nod, an effect made even more creepy as her little hair snakes mirrored her gesture.
I glanced between them for a moment, tempted to point out this was a weird time to be worried about office décor, but then I remembered who I was talking to. “So, Aiden’s going to be okay?”
Niko nodded. “He should be, and to answer your question, hero, Brittany is right. Just because one is a god doesn’t necessarily mean one has access to unlimited energy. Quite the opposite. The divine need to balance their power allocation quite carefully, especially when on a plane not of their origin. Otherwise, they risk burnout.”
“Double that for the Big Guy,” Brittany added, “since he normally draws his power from Hades.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Normally?”
“Yeah. During less... contentious times, like when it hasn’t been recently conquered.”
“Hades was conquered?!”
“Why don’t you say that a little louder, Sparky,” Phil groused. “Pretty sure they didn’t hear you in the next demiplane over.”
“But how?”
“Let’s just say there’s a lot of bad mojo going on in the multiverse right now. Eternal realms once thought unassailable are being knocked over like dominos.” She paused to light another cigarette, taking a long puff from it. “I don’t know if they offered you stock options when you joined up, kid, but you might want to think about cashing them out because my gut is telling me it’s only a matter of time before some cosmic dildo punches through the veil and fucks us all in the...”
“You don’t know that for sure,” Niko interrupted. “Nobody does.”
“Hello, McFly. You’re talking to a former witch here whose brother just so happens to be one of the premiere doomsayers on the east coast. I kind of have a feel for these things.”
I cocked my head her way. “Wait. Has Lucien said something about any of this?”
“Who the fuck knows? It’s not like I get out much these days.”
“That’s enough,” Niko said, doing his best to sound authoritative and only partially succeeding. “The Acting Director isn’t going to like us spreading rumors and you know it.”
“Fine. Live in your happy little bubble. Me, I prefer to spend my afterlife grounded in reality.”
Just as I was about to ask who was in charge now, the loudspeaker crackled to life.
“Awroooooooooooooooo!”
My blood turned to ice at the sound, and it had nothing to do with any residual nether in my system.
Niko in turn raised his hands and clapped to get everyone’s attention. “Okay, you heard the boss, people! There’s a lot of clean up that needs to be done as well as reinforcing the portal. Break time’s over.”
Before he could step away, I grabbed hold of his arm and spun him toward me, staring him dead in the eye. “What the hell was that?”
He grinned sheepishly. “You’re not going to like it.”
“I’m not going to like what?”
Brittany answered in his stead. “The official Asphodel disaster recovery plan states that in the event of an emergency, should the Big Guy end up incapacitated in any form, then the Chief of Security will assume the role of Acting Director.”
“You mean...”
Niko nodded. “That would be Kerberos.”
“Are you seriously telling me a dog is in charge now?”
Phil let out a laugh at my obvious panic. “Well, he sure as hell ain’t gonna hump your leg with that attitude.”
Sadly, I was too busy starting to hyperventilate to throw shade at any shade. “I... I need to get out of here.”
I turned to leave, but this time it was Niko who put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry to say, Hero, but I can’t allow that. We need to talk. You’ve been absent for weeks and with things as they are, we’re going to need...”
Pity for him that stark naked fear was a good enough motivator to get my hair to ignite again. “I said, I need to get out of here!”
My fury recoiled. “Although… perhaps it would be acceptable if we had our talk out in the parking lot instead.”
♦ ♦ ♦
“So let me get this straight. You were caught in a bomb blast and then given a heart transplant? And that’s where you’ve been all this time?”
“Well, yeah, but obviously I got better.”
“Obviously,” Niko echoed, no doubt trying to take this all in. “Well, that’s certainly a bit different than what we all assumed.”
“What do you mean by that?”
My fury shrugged. “No offense but everyone figured you and the cowboy ran off to a motel for some alone time. You know, to sow your wild oats now that you’re no longer bound by your original trials. Gaia knows, I would’ve.”
“Why would you think that?” I demanded.
“Because that’s what human adults do. And if anyone had an overabundance of built-up sexual tension in need of release, it’s you. Don’t take this the wrong way, hero, but you’ve been a wee bit... tense.”
“Oh really?” I moved into his space and stared him down. “You want to know what makes me even more tense? Calling out to my so-called fury for help and being ignored!”
Niko let out a sigh, our proximity giving me a clear whiff of Cheetos in his breath. “I’m sorry about that. Had I known...”
“How could you not?”
“I wasn’t allowed to.”
“How exactly were you not allowed to hear me? That sounds more like a choice.”
“Trust me, it wasn’t.” Before I could say anything to that, he stepped back – holding up his hands in a placating manner. “I swear, fate must have a sense of humor when it comes to timing. You see, things took a turn for the worse barely two days after we last saw each other. You must understand, Hades was hit swiftly and brutally. There was no time to prepare. Aïdōneús... Please don’t mention to anyone that I said this, but he panicked. He ordered a full lockdown, physically and metaphysically. All projects were suspended. He wanted everyone focused on the task at hand. Those who could be reached were recalled to Asphodel ASAP. And anyone who couldn’t be...”
“Was left hanging in the wind?”
“More or less. I did try to reach out to you, hero, believe me, both of you as a matter of fact, but when I received no answer, I had to assume...”
“We were both unconscious!”
“Yes, but I figured it was from... physical exertion.”
“It wasn’t!”
“Except I didn’t know that.”
“How could you not?”
He shook his head. “Normally I can reach a hero’s subconscious even if they’re comatose. When I get absolutely no sense of them, though, I have to assume they’re either dead or I’m being purposely blocked. And since the Big Guy made no mention of your untimely crossing, I was forced to assume it was the latter, that you wanted some alone time.”
I threw back my head and let out a frustrated grunt. “That must’ve been Holly’s doing. She must have found a way to... I dunno, block us.”
“Holly?”
“My mother.”
“Your mother’s name isn’t...” He trailed off, his eyes opening wide. “Wait. Are you telling me your mother is the one who did this?”
“Yeah, didn’t I mention that?”
“No,” he hissed. “You most certainly did not mention that the Eater of Dreams had made contact with you!” He backed away, his hands clawing at his hair while panic filled his face. “Oh, this is not good.”
“Tell me about it.”
He ignored me, though. “There’s no way this can be a coincidence. For her to have struck now when we’re stretched so thin. She had to have known.”
I said nothing as he turned away and began to pace. Whatever was going on with Hades and Aiden, it was painfully obvious I’d somehow just made it that much worse.
“Oh, Hera, how could I be so stupid?” he cried, looking back at me. “All the signs were there. That energy you absorbed during the fight… how you changed. It was all in front of me like a neon sign.”
“What is?”
“Her influence. It’s corrupting you.”
“I...” The truth was, I couldn’t argue with that, much as I wanted to. “Fine. Then how do we fix it?”
“Fix it?” he cried. “This isn’t some leaky sink we’re talking about.”
“I get that, but I could use some help. Wyatt is... He’s hurt. He’s at Boston General, but I can’t risk going there, leading her to him. And then there’s Gary...”
“Listen...”
“No, you listen! She wants me to kill him, all because of some stupid bet she made with Ash.”
“Ash too?” he replied, shaking his head in disbelief. “This is getting better by the second.”
“Now do you understand why I need your help?”
“I do, hero.”
“Great, then...”
“But you need to understand the situation here. This is an incursion the likes of which haven’t been seen since... since long before my time.”
“I get that.”
“No, you don’t. We have a comatose god inside there and a portal to the Underworld that we’re barely keeping closed. We need everyone on hand to help, and I do mean everyone. I can offer you whatever protection against the Eater... Holly... that we’re able to provide, if you come back inside with us and do your duty.”
“I...”
“But,” he continued, talking over me, “should you choose to leave, there’s nothing I can do. You, Wyatt, and Gary will be on your own.”
Chapter Thirteen: On My Own... Ish
I watched the door close behind Niko while I remained seated at one of the company picnic tables that hadn’t somehow been destroyed in all the recent invasions. Why did I keep getting stuck with impossible choices? Out here, I’d have to deal with my mom. In there, I’d have to save Hades. I didn’t have answers either way, so I did the only thing I could, which was sitting on a bench with Moolnir lying nearby in the grass.
This all went back to Holly. Of course, it took a whole dimension getting conquered for her to turn back up in my life. And, of course, Niko, one of the few people who could give me some answers about her, was more than a little busy right now.
“This sucks.”
“Doesn’t it, Sparky?”
I whirled around to see the last person I’d expected to join me out in the Asphodel parking lot. Phil carried a black parasol and her greasy complexion, not to mention near nauseating coconut aroma, suggested she was covered head to toe in sunscreen – UV blocking, no doubt.
“Did I interrupt your regularly scheduled noontime brooding?” she asked.
“What are you doing here?” I replied, not in the mood.
She slapped a scroll down on the table in front of me, its edge sealed in wax with the image of a three-headed dog. “Babysitting duty. Turns out the new HBIC has about as much faith in you as I do.”
“Meaning?”
“For the next thirty days, I’m bound to you rather than to this building.”
“I thought you were confined to this place,” I replied incredulously.
“Confined is a very nebulous term.”
“How so?”
“It’s kinda a good news, bad news sort of situation. You see, five years ago a group of fucktards decided to cut off magic at the Source, leaving everyone else stuck with their thumbs up their arcane asses. That gave Earth a bit of breathing room when it came to attracting unwanted attention. It also left us defenseless, but more importantly, gave some enterprising cunt the idea to be fantastically reckless when it came to contacting extraplanar entities to help get the lights turned back on.”
“I’m guessing that’s the bad news.”
“Bingo.” Phil took a long drag on her cigarette before blowing a puff my way. Ugh, how I didn’t miss her. “The good news is, when the power did come back, it came in spades. There isn’t only one source of magic floating around out there anymore. There’s at least a dozen and those doors swing both ways. I take it you’ve noticed that there’s just a bit more weird to the world these days.”
I nodded. “Just a bit.”
“Exactly. Those multi-eyed frog fuckers didn’t appear because of climate change. Anyway, the bonus here is that because of all this fuckery there’s now nether to spare for an industrious go-getter like me. Make sense?”
“So that means you can walk around freely now?”
“Free is kind of a loaded term, legally speaking, but yeah. The issue is that same nether also powers my mojo. So, if you need my magic, it’s gonna get trickier the further we get from Death Central. However, the upside is that the snake chick in there is an uber nerd. She devised an app that’ll tell us where nethertheric buildup is taking place. Here. Try not to destroy this one.” She whipped out a cell phone and handed it to me, showing me how to use the app. “See there. Beantown is practically swimming in the stuff as of late.”
“Okay, that could be useful,” I said, taking the device.
“Could be?” she grumbled. “Try definitely. Or are you gonna lie and pretend you didn’t tell Niko that my witch of a sister-in-law was back? Goddamn, I was really hoping you and Gare-bear had taken care of her for good. But of course, she’s back to make my life miserable.”
“Your life? She and my mother...”
“Yeah, yeah, I know all about that bitch too,” Phil muttered, her tone unimpressed. “Hey, you mind if we move this to the van? Dead human souls and sunlight do not mix well.”
I slung Moolnir over my shoulder, briefly indulging myself with all manner of insidious thoughts involving Phil and a tanning bed.
