Return to Hummingbird Way, page 28
“It’s okay, babe.” Rett pulled her to him and sat on the edge of a barstool. “Your mom still sees me as the big bad wolf. She’s just trying to protect her daughter. I get it.” Rett cradled her cheek, his gaze open and sincere. “Because I love you, and I’d do whatever it took to protect you, too.”
Her chest felt warm and a chill ran down her spine. She believed Rett when he said he loved her. And she loved him, too. But the words wouldn’t come. Instead, she stared at him, her heart racing as she searched his dark eyes.
Sin captured Rett’s lips in a kiss. Hoping her body would convey all of the things she couldn’t find the words to say. She tugged his cotton shirt from his waistband and glided her hands up his back beneath the fabric, enjoying the feel of her warm skin on his.
She lost herself in the taste of his mouth, the warmth of his skin, and the comfort of his embrace. Everything else faded away.
Sin pulled her mouth from his and met his hooded gaze. She wanted this man in her life. But if Rett wasn’t staying, at least they could have this for now. Moments together she would always remember.
“Rett, make love to me,” Sin whispered against his lips when he kissed her again.
“Thought you were hungry,” Rett mumbled between teasing kisses that made her ache for him.
“I am.” Sin smiled against his mouth. She glided a hand up his chest. “But not for food.”
Rett stared at her with a heat in his eyes so intense it unnerved her. Then he swept her up in his arms, carrying her to her bedroom.
Their kisses were frantic and urgent as they stripped each other bare. But as he joined her in bed, what she saw in his eyes wasn’t just desire. It was affection, friendship…love.
Sin’s heart swelled with emotion, and her vision clouded.
Rett’s brows furrowed. He cupped her cheek. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
Sin gave him a watery, nervous smile. The words she wanted to say caught in her throat.
Just say it.
She studied the face of this beautiful, complicated man she’d truly gotten to know over the past few months. The man who meant so much to her now. Whom she couldn’t imagine not having in her life.
“I love you, Rett.” She swallowed hard and tears streamed down her cheeks. She traced his cheekbone with her thumb as she gazed at him through the haze of her tears. “And I don’t want to lose you. But I don’t want to leave Holly Grove Island either. Maybe if it was somewhere closer to home—”
“It’s okay, sweetheart.” One corner of his mouth curved in a soft smile. He kissed her palm. “We’ll figure it out.”
She pressed her mouth to his, grateful Rett was willing to compromise. The kiss felt more meaningful than any of the kisses they’d shared before. It was an expression of their love and affection for each other, as well as their desire. And as she and Rett made love, Sin was overwhelmed with a deep sense of love and joy.
Her legs trembled as his sweat-slick skin moved against hers, bringing them both closer to the edge. His dark eyes were fixated on hers, as if he didn’t want to miss a moment of her ascent into bliss. Finally, her stomach tensed, and her sex clenched, then spasmed as intense pleasure rocketed up her spine.
Sin called Rett’s name, her fingertips pressed into his back as she arched hers, drawing him closer. Rett rocked his hips harder and faster, his brows furrowed with focus and determination. Finally, his muscles tensed, and he arched his back, punctuated by a guttural growl and a string of curses, followed by her name.
Rett tumbled beside her on the bed and gathered her in his arms. His chest heaved as he pressed a kiss to her damp forehead. The stubble on his chin grazed her skin.
They lay together in silence, catching their collective breath. Yet the lull between them didn’t feel awkward. Sin felt a quiet sense of contentment. She was exactly where she was meant to be, with the person who finally felt like the right fit. And he had been worth the wait. But there were still so many details to work out.
She wanted to stay on the island. Rett wanted to move to Charleston. He’d said they would figure it out, and she believed him. But the reality was they couldn’t both get what they wanted. One of them would be disappointed.
“I love you, Sin.” Rett rubbed her bare shoulder. “I think I always have.”
“I love you, too, Rett.” Sinclair lifted her head and pressed another kiss to his lips. Her heart swelled and her tummy fluttered every time she said the words again.
“What you said tonight about not wanting kids of your own…were you just saying that to piss your mother off?” Rett asked tentatively.
“It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. Becoming a mother just isn’t my focus right now. There are still so many things I want to do. I’ve felt guilty about it for a long time. Especially with my mom pressing me to get married and give her grandchildren. But I’ve finally made peace with it.” Sin propped her chin on her arms, folded on Rett’s chest. “Why? Do you want children?”
If he wanted a family and she didn’t…that was something they couldn’t reconcile. So it was better to be honest about it now. Because more than anything, she wanted Rett to be happy. She’d like to think he wanted the same for her.
“No.” He sifted her hair through his fingers, his lips curved in a smile. “I was just stunned to learn you felt the same way I do. That we’re even more compatible than I thought.”
Sin sighed with relief as she lay her head on his shoulder again. “Does that make me the perfect girl for you?”
“It makes you the perfect woman for me, and I have no intention of letting you go.”
Sin’s heart danced and her eyes filled with tears of joy. At least for tonight, she would ignore her worries about her career and the fight with her mother. Right now, her world felt right. So she would enjoy being with Rett.
They would figure out everything else later.
* * *
Sinclair quietly exited the bathroom and swiped her cell phone from its charger. She dropped a soft kiss on Rett’s temple as he lay in bed still sleeping. Then she made her way to the kitchen. She put on the coffee, took bacon out of the fridge, and turned on the oven to make a batch of her warm, fluffy buttermilk biscuits Rett loved so much.
She put the bacon and biscuits in the oven, then washed her hands. Sin’s phone lit up with her daily reminder to hit the gym. She dismissed it but noticed the missed calls and waiting voice mail from her mother. Sin sighed, mentally preparing herself for her mother’s quasi-apology that wouldn’t amount to an apology at all. Then she played the voicemail.
There was silence, at first. Maybe her mother had pocket-dialed her, as she sometimes did. Suddenly, there was sniffling, and her mother’s voice trembled.
Sin’s heart raced, imagining the situations that could possibly bring her mother to tears.
“Sinclair, sweetheart,” her mother finally said, “I’m sorry. Not just about tonight. I’m sorry about the pressure I’ve been putting on you to get married and have kids. I never intended to make you feel inadequate or somehow less than your sister. I just wanted you to have all the happiness you deserve. I love you, sweetheart. Please, call me back. And please apologize to Rett for me. I owe him a great deal. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have known how you really felt. Good night.”
Sin’s eyes brimmed with tears in response to the genuine emotion in her mother’s voice. She was grateful for her mother’s heartfelt apology but surprised Rett had apparently talked to her mother.
No wonder her mom had sent Rett home with a bag full of leftovers and a full pint of her favorite ice cream.
The oven timer sounded, alerting her that the biscuits and bacon were done. She removed both from the oven, then paced the floor.
It was sweet that Rett had stood up for her—after all, she’d done the same for him. But she hadn’t wanted him to run interference, because this was a conversation she really needed to have with her mother herself.
A few minutes later, Rett made his way to the kitchen in a pair of black basketball shorts worn commando and hanging low on his waist. He wrapped his arms around her from behind as she brushed melted butter on the warm biscuits. Rett dropped a kiss on her neck.
Do not think about how good this man looks right now. Not the time.
“You made your homemade biscuits.” Rett trailed kisses along her shoulder.
Her back tensed slightly. “I did.”
Rett turned her in his arms, his handsome features pinched with a frown. He lifted her chin. “What’s wrong, babe?”
Sin stepped out of his hold and grabbed two plates. She set them on the counter and put three biscuits and three slices of bacon on each plate. “Eggs?”
“No.” Rett lightly gripped her shoulders, turning her so he could see her face. “I want to know what’s wrong.”
Sin raised her eyes to meet his. “What did you say to my mother last night after I left?”
Rett dragged a hand down his face as he leaned against the counter. “We talked about why you were so upset last night.” He shrugged. “Why? Is your mom angry with me?”
“No. She left a tearful voice mail apologizing to me and thanking you for telling her how I really feel.” Sin pointed at him, then jabbed a thumb to her chest. “Which I found rather curious, because I didn’t ask you to speak for me. Nor did I give you permission to share anything I told you in confidence.”
* * *
Shit.
Sin was pissed about his conversation with her parents.
She managed to keep her tone even, but her voice trembled slightly, and her hands were clenched at her sides. So it was safe to assume Sin was upset with him.
“I didn’t go back there with the intention of having that conversation with your parents.”
“Then why did you double back there after I left?”
“I left my phone and keys on the table, and I went back to get them. But when your mother said you were being ‘unnecessarily dramatic,’ something in my head snapped.” He shrugged. “I was respectful, of course, but I couldn’t let that statement stand. She could’ve hurled any accusation she wanted against me. I would’ve just let it go. But she was dismissing your feelings, and that bothered me on a deeper level than you could possibly imagine. I couldn’t let it go. So I told her you had every right to be upset and why.”
Sin sighed quietly and her expression softened. She wrapped her arms around his waist as she gazed up at him.
“It was sweet of you to defend me, Rett. But it wasn’t a discussion for you to have on my behalf. I really wanted to tell your sister how you felt, but I didn’t. Because it was a conversation the two of you needed to have.” She tapped a finger against his bare chest. “I never betrayed either of your confidences. Instead, I encouraged you to talk to each other and work it out. I gave you my take on how your sister was feeling. I never told you exactly what she said, because that wasn’t my place. Just like it wasn’t yours to tell my parents how I was feeling. I’m a grown woman, Rett. I can speak for myself.”
“Then why haven’t you, Sin? You have no problem telling anyone else exactly how you feel about anything,” he said. “You sure as hell didn’t hold your tongue with Bianca. So why haven’t you told your mother the truth? Why haven’t you insisted she back off with the matchmaking?”
Sin picked up the plates and set them at the breakfast bar but didn’t respond.
“Sin?” He called her name again. “Sweetheart, talk to me.”
She glared at him. “So you can run and tell my parents that, too?”
Rett rubbed the back of his neck, his shoulders slumping. Touché.
Sin checked her phone. “We have to get out of here. You have to meet the landscapers over at your grandmother’s house, and I have to meet with clients in a little over an hour. So let’s table the discussion for now.” She squeezed his hand. “I know you were only trying to help, and I appreciate it. Now, I need to hop in the shower, or I’ll be late. But you should eat before your food gets cold.”
Sin gave him a quick kiss on the lips, then hurried toward her room.
Rett ran a hand over his head and cursed under his breath. He hadn’t meant to violate Sinclair’s trust. He’d felt the need to protect Sin because she’d become incredibly important to him. He only hoped he hadn’t ruined things between them.
Chapter Thirty-Six
After her client appointments, Sin pulled her SUV into her parents’ driveway and climbed out of the vehicle on shaky legs. She’d been thinking all day of exactly what it was she wanted to say to her mother.
She’d been miffed that Rett had forced her hand, but this conversation had been a long time coming. So she should be grateful he’d set things in motion.
Her mother opened the door before Sin had set foot on the bottom step. Terri Buchanan looked tired and worried, despite her warm smile. “Sweetheart, I’m so glad you’re here.”
Sin’s mother wrapped her in a tight hug that reminded her of the way she’d hugged her when she arrived home from her first day of school.
“Can we talk honestly for a few minutes?” Sin said.
“Of course, darling.” A pained look deepened the lines around her mother’s mouth and eyes. “But before you say anything, I completely accept the blame for my behavior.”
“I’m not here to lay blame, Mama.” Sin sighed. “There’s plenty enough to go around. But I should’ve spoken up sooner. I let this thing between us fester for too long.”
Sinclair joined her mother on the sofa. Her mom tucked Sin’s hair behind her ear and sighed. “Don’t be mad with Rett for speaking up, sweetheart. I honestly didn’t realize how deeply I was hurting you. That wasn’t my intention.”
“I know you weren’t trying to hurt me, Mom. But you did.” Sin blinked back tears. “Nothing I’ve accomplished seemed to matter to you. All you cared about was my unmarried status and how many grandchildren I could give you.”
“That’s not exactly true.” Her mother squeezed her hand. “But all night I’ve been thinking about what Rett said. So I understand why you felt that way. And for that, I’m truly sorry. It was admittedly selfish of me.”
“Then why’d you do it?” Sin asked.
“Probably for the same reason you haven’t told me before now how you really felt,” her mother said. “That heart attack ten years ago…it reminded me I won’t always be here for you girls. That there will be a part of your lives and your children’s lives—if you choose to have them—that I’ll be absent for. I guess I wanted to minimize the important moments I’d miss out on. Like seeing my baby walk down the aisle. Or become a mother.” Her mother’s eyes glistened with tears. “It was selfish, I know. But it came purely from a place of love.”
Sin nodded, her eyes welling with fresh tears. She tightened her grip on her mother’s hand. “I get that now. But all this time, it felt like you were saying I wasn’t good enough. That I didn’t measure up to Leanne with her powerful, connected husband, idyllic life, and angelic children.”
“I see that now.” Her mother cupped her cheek. “I can’t apologize enough for making you feel that way. I love you very much, Sinclair. Your father and I are so proud of you. And from now on, I promise to focus on every one of your accomplishments—no matter how big or small.”
Sinclair laid her head on her mother’s shoulder.
“The only thing I’ve ever really wanted, sweetheart, is for you to be happy. I’ve had an amazing life with your father all these years, and I’ve loved being a mother to you girls. I guess I pushed you to do the same because I thought that would ensure your happiness long after I’m gone. I never stopped to consider what it is you want.” Her mother rubbed her arm.
“Something Rett said struck me. I asked him if he considered himself the expert on what makes you happy. He told me that you are the expert on what’s best for you. And that it was the job of anyone who loves you to respect that and support you.”
“Rett said that?” Sin sat up, her heart swelling with affection.
“He sure did.” Her mother grinned. “And he was right. So I promise to do just that from now on. All right?”
“I’d like that.” Sin smiled, relieved that she and her mother had come to a renewed understanding. It didn’t magically erase all of her past hurt feelings, but it was the bridge they both needed to get her there. And it was Rett she had to thank.
“One more thing, Sinclair. In our new spirit of complete honesty. You did not cause my heart attack. I know we were having a heated argument at the time, but it could’ve happened when I was at school or driving to work. If it had to happen, I’m glad I was here with you. You knew exactly what to do. You gave me aspirin and got me to the hospital quickly. Otherwise, I might not be here now.”
Sin cringed at the memory of her mother suddenly clutching her chest and falling to the floor during their argument. She’d had nightmares about it for years. Neither she nor her mother had ever mentioned their fight being the catalyst of her heart attack. But it had always weighed heavily on her. And she’d been terrified to repeat the error in judgment.
“Thanks for saying that, Mom,” Sin said.
“It’s true.” Her mother lowered her gaze. “It’s also true that I’ve been playing into that guilt a little. It was wrong of me, Sinclair, and I’m truly sorry.”
Sin hugged her mother tight.
“C’mon in the kitchen, sweet pea.” Her mother stood, still brushing away tears. “I’ll make us a couple of marocchinos to go with the coffee cake I just took out of the oven.”
Sin washed her hands and prepped the glass mugs by using a spoon to smear Nutella inside each of them. Then her mother poured a shot of espresso into each glass mug before steaming the milk and filling each of the glasses with it. Her mother finished the marocchinos off by dusting cocoa powder on top while Sin cut the coffee cake.
