A Dance of Lies, page 16
Kitty wrapped her arms around Charles. ‘I know the world feels like it’s ending,’ she said. ‘But we’re always going to be here for you. Whatever happens in Cutta, whatever you decide to do, we’re here and we’re your family. That won’t change whether you’re with Thom or not. Don’t ever feel like you’re unwelcome.’
Charles kissed her cheek. ‘Thank you.’
‘Always,’ she said, meaning it more in that moment than she would have thought possible a few months before.
Nate looked over at them. ‘You’re going to Muntenia?’ he asked quietly.
‘Yeah,’ said Charles.
They regarded each other with hard expressions, almost mirror images, until Nate said, ‘My friends will take you in if you want. Club members. I can give you the address.’
Clearly caught off guard, it took Charles a moment to nod. ‘Thank you.’
The silence that followed this offer was perhaps the most amiable one Kitty had ever seen them share.
The day before they were due to leave, Ciara asked Kitty to go on a walk with her alone. The pair split off from the group and headed down a path to the river, months of unspoken tension palpable between them. Somehow, since they had been reunited in the aftermath of all that had befallen them inside the Kingdom, instead of coming together, they had drifted apart.
They walked with no particular direction in mind, both wondering what to say to the other. A lifelong friendship didn’t seem enough to overcome everything.
Spring was now coming into its own and flowers were beginning to blossom. Butterflies and other colourful insects flitted about, ushering in the new season with joyous displays. The air was thick with pollen and the forest felt alive with activity.
‘Are you angry with me?’ asked Ciara after a few minutes.
Kitty bent down and picked up a fallen flower. It was a lotus blossom, blown onto the ground from the nearby pond. She held it out to Ciara and said, ‘I don’t like goodbyes and I don’t understand why you want to return to a place that caused us nothing but grief. But I’m not angry.’
Ciara took the flower and tucked it behind her ear. ‘Do you remember what I said to you in Eyre?’
Kitty nodded. ‘You said you knew you wouldn’t be able to take care of Sam and Ana alone and you didn’t know where to go so the Plague couldn’t touch them, so you came with us.’
It was a reaction, not a plan. Where Nate had dreamed of freedom, Kitty of distance, and Thom of quiet, Ciara had her own dream: her comfortable life with her children, even if her lover wasn’t one she enjoyed more than passingly.
Kitty pointed towards a large rock beside the pond and they sat down, removing their boots and placing their feet in the cold water. The sun beat down on them, promising a warm summer.
‘Over a year away from Cutta,’ she mused aloud. ‘What will you say when you get back about where you’ve been?’
‘I’m not returning to Middletown,’ said Ciara, splashing a water bug away from her leg. ‘I’m going to Muntenia with Charles.’
Kitty pulled her legs into her chest and put her chin on her knees. ‘So, you’re not even going home? What’s the point of going back just to hide?’
Ciara looked over at her, somehow both bemused and exasperated. ‘I know this may come as a shock to you, Cat, but I do actually like society. I want a house, heating, a hover, a hot bath. I want my children to go to a proper school. Why is that so hard to believe?’
‘Because we’re free,’ said Kitty vehemently. ‘Look around you. There are no walls here. No Private Police or prisons to be thrown into. Out here things might not be as comfortable and sanitised as they are in Cutta—they’re better.’
‘We’re going to make things better there,’ said Ciara, and there was an odd, unfamiliar fire in her green eyes. ‘I have no intention of returning and living as I once did. I’m going to help Charles. I want to make the Kingdom the good place I believe it can one day be.’
‘So you’re going to help instigate a rebellion?’
‘Why not?’
Kitty shook her head in confusion. ‘It’s never what you wanted. You judged and derided Nate’s membership in the Underground Club. Now you’re about to become its next member.’
‘People change,’ said Ciara simply. ‘You did. You’re nothing like Catherine Taenia. You’ve morphed into Kitty Halfblood and you didn’t think twice about it.’
There was nothing to argue against on that point. She had changed. So much. She had just always assumed the others would change in the same direction. It made her sad to realise they might never want the same things again.
‘Win or lose,’ she said, dreading the answer. ‘Overthrow the Council or not, will we ever see each other again?’
‘About that …’
Kitty looked over at her, heartbeat picking up. ‘What is it?’
‘I want to help Charles start a rebellion, Cat. I want a better future for my children, but I am not blind to the dangers. Charles is asking Nate personally—yes, I know, I was shocked too—but I wanted to make sure you were fine with it. We don’t know if the Plague is eradicated. We don’t know what’s awaiting us. Neither of us wants to bring them back to die. It was rash to try the first time. There’s no one in this world I trust to love our children like we do except for you two. Also,’ she added, smirking in exasperation, ‘I don’t fancy telling them we’re leaving again and have them run off.’
Kitty reached out and took her hand. ‘Of course.’
Ciara let out a tremulous breath of relief and pulled her into a tight hug. ‘I’m going to miss you so much. And you know I’ll come back. So we’ll see each other again soon. I swear.’
Tears welled in Kitty’s eyes and she clutched Ciara tightly until they were both laughing through their tears. To dispel the tension, Kitty kicked water playfully at her, and after a moment they were both splashing. They dove into the pond, dunking each other and laughing hysterically, the water washing away their tears.
But despite their heart to heart, the following morning was hard on everyone. It dawned bright and clear, but no one appeared to have slept.
Thom stayed back as they packed up the horses, leaning against a tree with his arms crossed. His scowl could have cut his face in half, but he did not move or speak for hours. It was only as everyone else had mounted and Charles stood, saying his last goodbye to his children, that Thom finally moved.
He closed the distance between them and pulled Charles close, kissing him hard.
Kitty’s gaze went to Riddle, wondering how he felt about the whole thing. His face was unreadable, and he spoke in low tones to Engus, appearing entirely unaffected. She wondered how much self-control it took to appear so calm. If Nate had been kissing a former love, she would have wanted to vomit.
‘I’m coming back,’ said Charles quietly, his forehead pressed against Thom’s. ‘Whether you wait for me or not, I will return.’
Thom’s hand cradled Charles’ head and he looked far from well. ‘Don’t die,’ he said. It was half-order, half-plea.
Charles kissed him once more, and then stepped back. ‘I love you, Thomas,’ he said thickly. ‘That will never change.’
They stared at each other until Charles mounted his horse, hands shaking.
‘Ready?’ said Cara. She, Riddle and Zoe had offered to see them to the Wall and make sure they arrived – at least that far – safe. Zoe and Tove had yet to say their goodbyes and Kitty was silently glad of it. If she saw Zoe lose her composure, she’d crack too.
‘Ready,’ said Charles.
Kitty stepped up to Thom’s side and took his hand. Nate placed an arm around his brother’s shoulders and they stood, watching the group get smaller and smaller as they cantered into the distance.
‘Engus,’ said Thom when they’d disappeared from view. ‘You said the prophecy spoke of a second war.’
‘It does.’
‘Perhaps it will be their war.’
‘Perhaps.’
‘Thom-Thom,’ said Derek, walking over and holding out his arms. ‘Up.’
Thom bent down and picked up the small boy. Beside Nate, Hermione was holding Sampson’s hand and Ana was sucking on a blanket.
‘Come on,’ said Nate, motioning to the children. ‘What does everyone want for lunch?’
And, just like that, life in the community carried on much the same as before.
Summer set in and they left one camp for another, determined not to make it easy for Quen to find them, and as the weeks went by, the ache and worry of what had become of the others eased into a bearable pang.
The new location for their community was by far Kitty’s favourite. Nestled between thick trees with a large, crystalline creek nearby, prime hunting grounds only an hour’s walk north, and fruit trees and flowers in full bloom, it was hard not to wish the others had stayed to see it.
After several days of setting up traps around the perimeter, the clan set to work clearing out the campsite and weeding the garden the previous community had tended to. The seeds had been planted before the winter and the garden was untouched except for by animal visitors.
The garden proved plentiful: there were gourds, asparagus, spinach, ginger, shoots and roots; there were beans, broccoli, sprouts, cabbage, carrots, tapioca, chayote, yams, mangos, peas, nettle, kenaf, mushrooms, pumpkin, radish and lettuce. The abundance delighted everyone.
Once it was decided what would be fermented, pickled, smoked, dried, canned or consumed instantly, everyone set to work.
She was helping Rian, Rayus and Sampson plant more vegetable seeds in the newly weeded garden when Riddle approached her with a pointed look on his face.
‘I was hoping you might accompany me?’
‘Sure,’ she said without missing a beat. Waving Zoe over to take her place, Kitty wiped her hands off on her trousers and followed him to where he already had Kestrel and Mastani saddled.
Nate jogged over to them just as she was mounting. He had been gathering wood all morning and was wearing only his working trousers and gloves.
She found herself staring at him appreciatively. In the chaos of the last couple of years she had never really appreciated how striking and rugged he had become. He was as handsome as Thom, yet slightly thicker, stronger and more wild looking.
‘Where are you two off to?’ he asked, snapping her out of her daze.
‘Riddle’s going to give me some lessons on sword fighting,’ she said before Riddle could answer. ‘You know I’m decent with a bow, but my blade work is shoddy.’
He didn’t disagree and let out a rueful chuckle. ‘Why not do that here?’
‘Nate, I need a little of my dignity to remain,’ she said. ‘I can’t concentrate when I can feel you smiling at me every time I fall on my face.’
At least that much was true.
‘Fine, fine,’ he said, grinning. ‘Be safe.’
Kitty leaned down and kissed him. ‘I always am.’
Riddle set off up a side path and led the way through the forest. ‘Will he not suspect you’re telling falsehoods?’ he asked as they manoeuvred their way carefully downhill around the trees and boulders.
She shrugged, but her stomach tightened with mounting guilt. ‘He might.’
‘If keeping this secret proves too tedious, do not feel obligated to help me.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ she said. ‘I want to help. Love is always a good cause, and Thom could use some good news. But Nate will go ballistic if we don’t have it perfect.’
Riddle nodded and steered the way through a dense thicket that let out into an open field with tall grass and wild-flowers. ‘I will not put Thom’s life in jeopardy,’ he promised. ‘I know what became of Nate when he was ill. I will not suggest anything without being sure.’
His words made her smile. ‘You’ve surprised me, Riddle,’ she said. ‘I never thought you could be so caring.’
‘Because I’m not of your kind?’
‘No, of course not. Because you’re you. Until very recently you intimidated me completely.’ She made a face. ‘Still sort of do, if I’m being honest.’
Riddle let out a bark of laughter and the sound sent a flock of birds into the sky.
They rode a bit further and then dismounted, leaving the horses to graze idly in the sunshine, swishing at the flies that had returned with the warmth. They sat on a patch of grass and Kitty took the journal out of her bag. She had since drawn a complete map, tying the individual countries together in their horseshoe shape around the Great Sea. In addition, she had marked approximately where they had come through in Eyre, where the Wall in Nitoib was closest to Goodkind and Greenwald, and the holes in the Wall where the rabids were getting through. She placed the maps side by side and used rocks to weigh them down.
‘This is where we were infected,’ she said, pointing to the square that indicated the testing facility. She traced her finger across the ocean, through Eyre, past the mountains and into the jungle. ‘This is about where we are, I reckon. It’s a very long journey if you’re on foot. Even for you. Weeks, if not longer.’
Riddle pursed his lips as he studied the map. ‘And where was it you were cured?’
‘The scientist who made the cure worked here,’ she said, pointing to the map of Anais. ‘So most likely the Royal Laboratory, a section of the Diseases Department, would be the best place to find another scientist.’ She pointed to the triangle she’d drawn to symbolise the Council buildings. ‘I don’t think you’ll need to go there, though. Only Nitoib.’
He frowned in thought. ‘Why is that?’
Kitty withdrew from her bag the small vial of cure she had kept safe for two years and held it up to the light. ‘I don’t know if it’s still good or if it even can rot,’ she admitted, holding it out to him. ‘The scientist who cured us mixed my blood with this and it reversed the effects.’
Stunned, Riddle took the vial carefully and held it up to the light. ‘God is on our side this day,’ he said. ‘Thank you.’
‘Something told me I might need it one day,’ she said, heart hammering at the memory. ‘I just never thought it would be for Thom.’
He smiled approvingly at her. ‘I am sorry for underestimating you upon our first meeting. I was wrong to do so.’
Somehow praise from Riddle meant more than praise from anyone else. She winked at him before showing him the rest of the sketches she had made, explaining each country in turn and where the most dangerous places would be.
‘When will you leave?’ she asked when she finished.
‘Soon,’ he said, scowling at the maps for a moment longer before looking up at her. ‘But before I do, I would like to have more of a friendship established with Thom.’
‘You could try talking to him,’ she teased. ‘Talking helps.’
He huffed. ‘I don’t know what to say without revealing my feelings. You told me it was too soon. Every time I speak to him I want to tell him. Now that Charles is gone, it’s even more difficult. I fear he will look elsewhere. If Alik could touch him, he’d have propositioned him.’
Kitty’s eyebrows shot up. ‘Isn’t Alik with Aison?’
‘Many mated pairs invite others back to their bed. I would not be so inclined.’
She shook her head, marvelling at the dramatics that could ensue. ‘I don’t think I could ever be with more than one. Nate takes all my energy as it is.’
Riddle chuckled. ‘Indeed.’ But then his expression grew drawn. ‘I fear Thom will grow attached to another as I wait and I don’t know how to begin without pressing him, which you told me was ill-advised.’
‘I get that,’ she said. And she did. Keeping something like that silent would be horrendous. Wondering what Thom was thinking all the time – well, she had been there. It wasn’t fun. She cried over Thom so many times as a teenager before he finally took notice of her.
She continued, more gently, ‘I think it’s better to let him mend. Thom loathes dramatics and conflict. He won’t want to deal with the struggle of two directions of romance. Let him be fully rid of the first before you tell him. He’ll love you more for it in the end.’
Riddle held out his hands. ‘And how do I do that?’
She leaned back on her hands and said, ‘Well, start with friendship. Offer to spar with him. No one but Alik does and he resented Charles for it. They used to spar all the time. Show him that you don’t see him as weak. He liked the “excursion of quiet” as Nate likes to call it. Thom loves learning about places, about landscapes and layouts. Show him the beauty in Joro that his fear might have forced him to overlook. Do something – anything – that takes his mind off his nightmares. I think that will mean more to him than anything else. And he’s not going to fall for Alik. For one, he can’t touch him. For another, he’s like me. Three sets of emotions in the bed would exasperate and frustrate him. So, I don’t think you need to worry on that front.’
Riddle took in this advice with a serious expression on his face, nodding all the while. His dedication only served to further her hopes that this would end well for him.
‘It’s getting late,’ he observed. ‘The sun will set soon.’
Kitty stood and stretched. ‘We’ll just say training took a while.’
‘To that end,’ he added, getting to his feet as well, ‘we must train before we return.’
Kitty raised her eyebrows. ‘What, why?’
‘If you are telling Nate that we are leaving so you may improve your skills and then fail in battle, it will imply I am a poor teacher.’ Riddle looked thoroughly affronted at the thought. He unsheathed his blade and gestured for her to do the same. ‘You ought to improve regardless. Once you do not doubt yourself, you too will rest easier. Fear will give way to confidence. You are not without talent. Let’s make you unparalleled.’
Sincerely wishing she had thought of a better excuse, Kitty cracked her neck and unsheathed her blade. It was a curved sword, a gift from Engus, and much as she liked it, she was definitely better with the bow and arrow. Hand to hand combat was what Nate and Thom excelled at. She felt silly trying to wield a blade.
