Sex Practice, page 21
"You'd bloody well better have!" Larry stormed, banging the phone down. "Fucking cunt-headed mother-fucking bastard!"
"Oh, dear, wrong side of the bed?" Brigit giggled as she sat on the edge of the desk, the tight triangle of her silk panties clearly defining her pussy crack as she opened her legs.
"I'll kill the bastard! Why are you wearing panties?"
"I'm going to sell them - stained panties, thirty-pounds a pair."
"Very lucrative, I must say!"
"The trouble is, I can only produce one pair every three days. Oh, by the way, have you heard from Lily?"
"No, Christ knows where she's got to. That transvestite, the so-called Miss Slit, pulled her penis out, his penis, and terrified the life out of her."
"She'll be back soon enough. Oh, I almost forgot, your first clients are here - Mr and Mrs Sopping-Gusset. Shall I send them in?"
"Oh, Christ, they're all I need! Yes, yes, send them in, Brigit. And ring Lily, will you? She either works here or she doesn't, I can't have her coming and going as she pleases."
Swigging from the scotch bottle, wondering whether to close the business down and put an end to the continual problems, Larry sighed as the middle-aged couple entered the room and stood before the desk. Mrs Sopping-Gusset, with succulent red lips and long blonde hair, was extremely attractive, Larry mused. Her husband, MP for Pissledown South, was very well off and somewhat of a prude. The couple had seen Larry twice before, their relationship rapidly falling apart due to continual arguments over Mr Sopping-Gusset's long working hours. Larry knew that he couldn't help them to repair their marriage, but their visits paid handsomely!
"So, how are things?" he asked as they seated themselves.
"As usual, I've been sitting at home all week while John's been working!" Mrs Sopping-Gusset complained.
"And, as usual, I've been working hard to keep Bunty and her extravagant life style!" her husband rejoined. "Doctor Lickman, what would your reaction be if you discovered that your wife had a vibrator?"
"Well, I'd be happy in the knowledge that she was enjoying the pleasures of masturbation rather than going to another man for..."
"That's what I told him!" Bunty broke in. "What does he expect me to do? He's away in London all day and half the night, playing about in the House of Commons, leaving me alone twiddling my thumbs."
"It's not your thumbs you twiddle, is it?" John snapped.
"You're never there to make love to me, so what do you expect me to do, become celibate?"
"I don't expect you to masturbate! I'm an MP, Bunty, I can't have a wife who masturbates!"
"You masturbate, so why shouldn't I?"
"That's different, men are allowed to masturbate."
"And who made that rule? Men, of course!"
"Well, it's the way things are, Bunty. You masturbate, don't you, Doctor?"
"Well, I... listen, Mr Sopping-Gusset, female masturbation is perfectly normal, healthy, in fact."
"Only wanton hussies use vibrators! Streetwalking strumpets, prostitutes, trollops, harlots, hookers, sluts, whores, slag-bags... can you imagine the Prime Minister's wife vibrating her clitoris?"
"Well, no, but..."
"He'd never win the next election if news spread of his wife's disgusting behaviour with a vibrator! And if it came out that my wife masturbates with a vibrator, I'd loose my seat! What about the Queen? Do you think she masturbates with a vibrator? Oh, oh! One's clitoris is arriving! God for Harry! England and Saint George! Ah, one's arrived!"
"Oh, do shut up, John!" Bunty hissed. "You don't know what you're talking about!"
"Well, I don't suppose the Queen..." Larry began.
"There you are, then!" John cried triumphantly. "There'd be anarchy if news broke of the Queen's masturbatory habits. What would the Sunday papers have to say about it? Queen has a buzz in the boudoir."
"Let's leave the dignitary out of this, Mr Sopping-Gusset."
"Why? The Queen has a clitoris, she's a woman, so why leave her out of the discussion?"
"Because she has nothing to do with the problems you and your wife are experiencing. Tell me, Bunty, how often do you masturbate?"
"Every day, sometimes twice."
"Disgusting!" John exclaimed. "Good grief, it's..."
"As you're hell-bent on exposing my private life, I think Doctor Lickman should know what you get up to!" Bunty interrupted her husband.
"I don't get up to anything!"
"No? What about pulling my dirty panties over your head and masturbating?"
"I have never..."
"I've often spied through the keyhole and seen you rummaging through the linen basket! You pull my dirty panties over your face and masturbate."
"Bunty, how can you tell such blatant lies?"
"It's the truth!"
"OK, Bunty, let's talk about you and cucumbers."
"Cucumbers?"
"Yes, I'm pretty good at spying through keyholes, too! What you did with that cucumber yesterday afternoon was obscene."
"We had cucumber sandwiches for high tea. I used the cucumber to make sandwiches."
"Yes, and I'll tell you why I didn't eat any, because the cucumber was still steaming hot from your pussy! What Lord and Lady Sodomite-Brown must have thought, I have no idea!"
"Are you implying that I stick cucumbers up my..."
"I'm not implying, I'm stating a fact!"
"Please!" Larry sighed. "Please, stop bickering! We'll get nowhere by arguing. Now, Mrs Sopping-Gusset, let's play truth or dare."
"I haven't come here to play silly games!"
"It's not a silly game, it's good fun. Right, truth or dare?"
"Truth, I suppose."
"OK, did you push a cucumber into your vagina yesterday afternoon?"
"Well, yes, I did."
"Ha, ha! You see!" John cried jubilantly.
"Now it's your turn, Mr Sopping-Gusset. Have you ever pulled your wife's panties over your face and masturbated?"
"You didn't ask me whether I wanted to tell the truth or..."
"I decided for you. Now, tell the truth."
"I can't tell the truth, I'm an MP - it goes against the grain."
"Pretend that you're a catholic priest. No, they lie, too. Er... I've got it, you're a witness in the witness box. Now, have you ever pulled your wife's panties over your face and masturbated?"
"Yes, I have done that but..."
"I win!" Bunty trilled.
"There are no winners," Larry said. "You're both as bad as each other."
"Truth or dare, Doctor Lickman?" Bunty grinned.
"Er... truth."
"Do you masturbate?"
"Well, I..."
"Come on, you must tell the truth!"
"Yes, I do."
"There, you see, John - he masturbates, you masturbate, so why shouldn't I?"
"This is ridiculous! Women shouldn't masturbate with vibrators, it's not normal."
"It's perfectly normal, Mr Sopping-Gusset," Larry smiled. "Look, why don't you masturbate each other? Instead of hiding behind locked doors, do it together, to each other."
"Well, I'm game," Bunty replied.
"I'll give it a try," her husband conceded. "I'm not too sure about using a cucumber, though."
"Oh, go on, John, give it a try! Use the vibrator on my clitty and thrust the cucumber in and out of my pussy."
"OK, I'll try it. But you'll have to masturbate me, too - while I'm wearing your dirty panties over my face."
"It's a deal! I'll wear the same pair of panties for a week, and then you can pull them over your face and sniff them while I bring you off."
"OK, and I'll buy the biggest cucumber I can find!"
"Good, that's that settled, then!" Larry smiled. "You see how it helps to talk problems over?"
"Yes, you're right, Doctor," Bunty replied. "I don't know what we'd do without you, I can't thank you enough."
"Thank me by paying my fee promptly," Larry beamed, rising to his feet. "I'll see you both next Monday and you can tell me how you got on."
Showing the couple out, Larry frowned at Brigit as she stood behind the reception counter making strange faces. Closing the door after Mr and Mrs Sopping-Gusset, he joined the girl at the counter and asked her what was wrong.
"Go and take a look in the bondage room!" she squealed hysterically.
"Why, what's in there?"
"It's not what, but who!"
"Who, then?" he asked irritably, walking down the hall with the girl running after him.
Entering the room, Larry held his hand to his mouth and gasped to discover Monica on the examination couch, her limbs spread, her hands and feet lashed with rope, her naked body vulnerable. Eyeing her swollen, hairless cunny lips, a huge candle emerging from her yawning sex groove, he quickly closed the door.
"What the hell...?" he began. "Brigit, what on earth have you...?"
"I had nothing to do with it!" she returned.
"The police are on their way!" Monica chuckled, her huge tits wobbling. "And when they discover me like this, you'll be arrested!"
"The police? Christ, get her out of here, Brigit! Quickly, untie her and I'll stall them when they arrive, play for time."
Dashing to reception, his heart racing, he knew there'd be no way out of this one. A woman, naked, bound to the examination couch, her fanny shaved with a massive candle... "Jesus fucking Christ!" he breathed, wondering who had tied the woman up. Gina fucking Cology, more than likely!
"Hi, Larry!" Lilly trilled as she breezed into the building.
"Oh, you're back!"
"Yes, I'm sorry about... that woman, Miss Slit, was a man, Larry! He pulled his penis out and chased me down the street!"
"My God, what a sad pervert. Look, don't worry about that now, we've one hell of a problem, Lily."
"Is it to do with DI Clarke? He's just pulled up outside."
"Fuck me backwards!"
"What's he come back for?"
"Because Monica... there's no time to explain. I'll hide in my consulting room and you stall him, OK?"
"What is it he wants? What's the problem, Larry?"
"Just stall him!" he cried, dashing down the hall, praying that Brigit had released the woman. "Stall him for as long as you can, and then show him into my consulting room!"
Swigging from the scotch bottle, Larry was sure that the end had come. The last thing he'd expected was this! he reflected. He realized that Monica and Gina weren't going to give up, but to resort to this? Brigit might be able to untie the woman, but she could hardly dress her and send her out of the building before the detective arrived. Monica, obviously, was going to remain naked and spurt out accusation after accusation - Larry had to come up with a story, and a bloody good one!
"Are, Doctor Lickman, we meet again," DI Clarke grinned as he entered the room.
"Ah, thank God you're here at last!" Larry replied.
"You were expecting me?"
"Yes, of course!"
"Was it you who called the station?"
"Yes, didn't they tell you?"
"No, I was only told that someone had phoned alleging..."
"I called and asked that you be sent here straight away. It's that Monica Moodie, she's in my examination room and..."
"Let's go and see what's going on," the detective interrupted, leaving the room.
"My secretary discovered the woman in the examination room, naked! She's gone off her head, Inspector!"
"What's all this then?" DI Clarke said, surprised, gazing at Monica's naked body as she struggled with Brigit.
"Please, she's trying to rape me!" Brigit screamed, her blouse ripped open, her skirt round her knees. "She's gone mad!"
"All right, Mrs Moodie, that'll do!"
"They tried to sexually abuse me again!" Monica cried, pulling away from Brigit and clasping her hands over her shaved crack.
"I want to press charges!" Brigit bellowed. "I found her in here, naked, and she tried to rip my clothes off! She said that she wanted to massage my pussy!"
"Get dressed, Mrs Moodie!" the detective ordered the distraught woman. "I'm arresting you for attempted rape, gross indecency of a grossly indecent nature, causing an affray, and shaving off your pubic hair!"
"You can't do that!" Monica returned as she pushed Brigit away and dressed.
"I can, and will, do what I like!"
"It's not an offence to shave my pubic hair off!"
"Ah, a confession! Doctor Lickman, you'll be a witness to the confession."
"Yes, of course!" Larry beamed.
"I didn't confess!" Monica protested.
"You said that it's not an offence to shave my pubic hair off. Being a detective, I look upon that a first degree confession!"
"I'm sorry that Monica has caused you so much trouble," Larry smiled.
"She won't be causing anyone any more trouble - not in Holloway!"
"Please, you must listen to me!" Monica cried as the detective grabbed her arm and led her away. "No, you must listen!"
Rubbing his hands together, Larry grinned at Lily as she entered the room. "Monica Moodie has been arrested!" he cried triumphantly.
"Yes, I heard!"
"What better way to begin the week?"
"There is no better way!" Brigit giggled, adjusting her clothing.
"Larry, there's some bad news, I'm afraid," Lily said dolefully. "I'm sorry to spoil your moment of victory but, The Reverend Mother Barren-Womb is waiting for you in your consulting room."
"Fucking hell! I can't take much more of this! What does she want, do you know?"
"Yes, she wants to see you about Sister Mary."
"Again? Christ, I thought that had been settled!"
"And your next client's in the waiting room, Miss Shafter."
"Oh, that's good! She's the girl who believes that my spunking up her arse will help to enlarge her tits! Ignorant bitch that she is! Right, Lily, go and tell the Reverend Slagger that I'm out. Tell her to come back later, preferably next week! Brigit, show Miss Shafter in here, I'll be waiting for her."
Rubbing his hands together as the girls left, Larry sensed his penis stiffen at the thought of examining Miss Shafter's tight vaginal sheath, slipping his solid penis deep into her anal canal and filling her bowels with his gushing spunk. It was time for Lily to join in, he mused. Time for her to further her experience of the female breasts. And his knob!
"Ah, Melinda!" Larry beamed as the timid girl gingerly entered the room.
"Hallo, Doctor," she smiled sweetly.
"Right, we'll waste no time, clothes off and lay on the examination couch and we'll begin," he ordered her, eyeing her long legs, her shapely thighs. "Has there been any improvement? Are your breasts any larger?"
"No, I don't think so," she replied softly, unbuttoning her white silk blouse.
"Well, it's early days. These things take time, Melinda. This week, I'm going to ask Lily, my trainee sex therapist, to assist me. A new treatment has just been developed to help enlarge the breasts, it consists of clamping steel rings around the base of each breast and tightening the screws to force the breasts to swell and balloon."
"Will it hurt?" she asked, her long black hair cascading over her pert mammary spheres as she removed her bra.
"The rings won't hurt too much, but the next stage of the treatment might be a little painful."
"The next stage?" she echoed, her dark eyes wide as she tugged her miniskirt down her naked legs, revealing her bulging panties.
"I'm going to have Lily cane your breasts. A light caning will..."
"Cane my breasts? But..."
"It's all right, Melinda, calm down. The treatment is designed to firm the breast muscles and to stiffen the nipples. It was developed by Professor Brownteat-Bust. The pain will be well worth enduring, believe me."
"I don't like the sound of that!" she gasped, tugging her cunny-stained panties down and displaying her sparse black pubes, her long sex slit. "Doctor, I don't want my breasts caned!"
"You do want bigger breasts, don't you?"
"Well, yes, but..."
"Trust me, Melinda. After the treatment, I'll deposit my sperm in your anal duct. The testosterone will be quickly absorbed into your blood stream, helping your breasts to develop into fine mammary specimens. Right, get onto the couch and I'll call Lily," he grinned, leaving the room.
Returning with the wary girl, Larry assured her that she'd be safe, that Melinda's breasts weren't going to attack her. "You said that your problem is a little better," he smiled. "This will further help to cure you of your terrible phobia."
"What do you want me to do?" she asked, her eyes transfixed on Melinda's long nipples, the large brown discs of her areolae.
"Clamp these around the base of each breast," Larry instructed her, taking two steel rings from the shelf. "Pull Melinda's breasts through the rings and tighten the screws, forcing her breasts to balloon, her nipples to swell."
"Are you sure it won't hurt?" Melinda asked fearfully as Lily tentatively placed the rings over her breasts, careful not to touch her nipples - her brown, leering mammary eyes!
"There'll be a little discomfort, that's all," Larry smiled, gazing at her swollen vaginal lips, her protruding inner petals.
Tightening the screws, Lily gazed in amazement as the whimpering girl's breasts inflated and her nipples distended, standing erect. Tightening the screws further, painfully swelling Melinda's mammary orbs, she stood back, admiring her work as Larry grabbed the thin bamboo cane and placed it on the couch. Melinda should be tied down for the mammary thrashing, Larry decided. He didn't want her leaping from the couch at the first strike of the cane!
"OK," he smiled. "Open your legs and stretch your arms behind your head, Melinda. Lily, will you tie her ankles to the legs of the couch, please?"
"Yes, Doctor," Lily replied, taking two lengths of rope from the shelf.
"I don't want to be tied down!" the reluctant patient cried as Lily bound her ankles and Larry secured her wrists. "Please, why are you tying me down?"
"It's part of the treatment, Melinda," Larry reassured her. "There's nothing to worry about, I promise you."
The girl's naked body securely lashed to the couch, Larry reached to the shelf and grabbed a leather strap connected to a rubber ball. "This is to prevent a condition known as screamus protestus," he smiled, placing the ball in his victim's mouth. Running the leather strap round the back of her head, he fastened the buckle, securing the gag. "There, now you're all ready for the treatment. Right, Lily, I want you to cane her breasts. Begin with a gentle caning to ease her into the punish... I mean, the treatment."
