The Fix Up, page 23
“We were all younger and sillier,” Arietta said. “And all made mistakes.”
“I guess we all learnt from them,” Moss said. “And the us we were then has brought us to the us we are now.”
“That’s damned profound for this time of night on your second glass of wine,” Tarquin said. “But I’ll echo it. So”—he turned to Arietta—“when did you realise we were us, if you get my meaning?”
Arietta laughed. “It’s a long story, goes back to when I got my wedding invite and—”
“And I didn’t mention that the wedding Arietta had been invited to was to this one. I sort of let her think there were two weddings,” Moss broke in. “Plus of course Arietta’s invitation was addressed to Harriet.”
“For which we apologise,” Kristin said. “I wouldn’t have been so crass. Mum and Dad, though, are sending me demented, trying to make the bloody day OTT. We’d prefer low-key. I told them to invite close friends and I’d starred those. They ignored us and invited the world and his wife. I mean, you wouldn’t have expected an invite, would you?”
Arietta shook her head. “I was gobsmacked and showed it to Moss. It was a bit naughty not to refuse and explain, but okay, I wanted my two minutes of revenge.”
“Only two? I’d have gone for a hundred at least,” Kristin said and yawned. “Oh lord, I’m so sorry. I’m not sleeping very well at the moment. Let’s go over tomorrow’s maybes, then, sorry again, I’ll have to go to bed.”
“No sorry needed,” Moss said smoothly. “We’re not a lot better what with my early mornings and late nights. I say let’s see what happens, if anything, and just present a united front. As in all friends, all happy, and just had to put the record straight, no big deal?”
“That sounds good to me.” Kristin struggled to her feet. “I’ll love you all and leave you.”
“I’ll come up,” Arietta said and got to her feet. “I’m shattered. No, you stop and finish your drink,” she said to Moss. “I’ll bag the shower first.”
He winked and she narrowed her eyes and smiled sweetly. “And make sure you don’t hog all the bedclothes.”
Kristin laughed. “It’s a man thing. Tarquin is as bad. Right then, you promise not to laugh as I go up the stairs on my bum?”
“Not to your face anyway.”
“That’s good enough,” Kristin said cheerfully, as different to the girl Arietta had known as possible. “If nothing else I hope it’ll tone said area up.”
“I better do the same then,” Arietta said. “But I won’t break a bone so I have to.”
“Don’t blame you, much too uncomfortable. All I hope is I don’t have to go down the aisle on them.”
“Is it likely?” Arietta asked as they got to the bottom of the stairs and Kristin handed her the crutches to carry up the stairs for her. “I’m hazy about it all.”
“It’s a fracture, not too bad, and the crutches are a precaution now more than anything. Easier to say a break and keep my parents out of the way. They love Audie but say she’s a handful, which in their lifestyle she no doubt is. Plus my dear mother is not any good in a crisis or near a sick bed. I reckoned I’d get better faster without her hovering.” Kristin began to bump up the stairs one by one.
Arietta followed her slowly. It looked most uncomfortable.
“Also, between us, Tarquin will be sharing the news with Moss about now, I’m pregnant, luckily not throwing up yet, but I couldn’t stand Mum either doing the cotton-wool wrapping or the telling me my timing is bad, what about the wedding. We are amazed and delighted, as Tarquin was certain after he had mumps he was infertile. Turns out he’s not. Audie was over the moon when we told her this morning and was sworn to secrecy until we say otherwise.” She retrieved her crutches and limped as far as the door of the room. “For two pins, you know, I’d say sod it and elope.”
“Well, why don’t you? You could always have your wedding day as a big celebration.”
Is this really me offering advice? “Not that I’m an expert on any of it, you know,” Arietta added in a hurry.
“Is that what you would do?” Kristin asked her. “Elope?”
Arietta thought about that. “Not quite elope, but have just a few very close friends and relatives, then celebrate with others later.” She couldn’t say the last thing she fancied was the sort of wedding Maggie described as a bun fight, and the idea of a big wedding brought her out in hives.
“Hmm…” Kristin was silent for a moment. “I wonder. Ah well, time for bed.” She didn’t elaborate, and after wishing Arietta a good night and with a reminder that no one stood on ceremony and she knew where the kitchen was, took herself off to her own room.
She had no idea how much later it was when Moss got into bed, except she half woke up and registered him there as he snuggled up to her, kissed her cheeks and said something she didn’t hear. “S‘night,” she muttered and went back to sleep again.
* * * *
It was still dark when she surfaced again and wondered what had woken her. The bedroom door was half-open—Moss had either forgotten to lock it or knew there would be no need, as Arietta had told him they would be circumspect while they were there.
Audie peered around the door. Arietta slid out of bed and put her finger over her mouth before she held five fingers up. Audie nodded and pointed to the stairs before miming drinking coffee. Arietta did a thumbs-up and, as soon as Audie withdrew, headed for the bathroom.
Moss rolled over and did the male hog-the-bedclothes-and-most-of-the-bed thing. He grabbed a pillow and cuddled it.
Arietta grinned and wished she had her camera handy. On second thought, maybe not. She could imagine the furore if someone got hold of that.
She washed the necessary parts of her body for her to feel clean, brushed her teeth and put on her clothes. A clean T-shirt and her comfy jeans. The make-up and whatever else might be warranted could come later. Coffee came first.
Moss opened one eye as she picked up her shoes and tiptoed past the bed. “Running away?”
“Nope, going for coffee.”
He grunted. “What time is it?”
Arietta glanced at the bedside clock. “Just after six, go back to sleep.”
“Thanks.” He was snoring softly before she left the room.
She smiled and shook her head. Some things never changed. When he had to be up, he would be—bright, awake and cheerful. If he didn’t, he could sleep on for hours. How when the day could go either way she had no idea. Only time, and the papers, would tell them that.
With that not-overly-pleasant thought in her mind, Arietta headed for the kitchen. Kristin looked up from the newspaper spread all over the table and grinned. “Coffee on the Aga, Audie’s making egg and bacon sarnies and it’s girl time. I had hoped we’d get half an hour to ourselves so I could do some more grovelling and ask you a favour. Could you take the grovelling as read, please? Audie will be back in a few seconds. She’s gone to collect the eggs. Yes, we have chickens,” she added, laughing. “You look gobsmacked.”
“I am,” Arietta said honestly. “I really didn’t know you before.”
“You did, but this is the new me, and so far I haven’t regressed. Even when provoked,” Kristin said. “Like when my mum decides it’s her way or no way. Which is what I want to talk about.”
“Okay, grovelling seen to be done, what’s the favour?” Arietta was intrigued.
“Keep the Wednesday before the wedding free, please. We might, no, probably will, need you both. Tarquin is going to ask Moss, and we don’t want to say anything to Audie or say any more yet. Will you?”
Arietta’s curiosity was well and truly aroused. “Okay as long as it’s nothing nefarious. I am not kidnapping your parents so you can enjoy your wedding day.”
Kristin giggled. “Nope, not that, they aren’t coming up till Wednesday night anyway. And we might not need you both, we’ll see.”
“Fair enough,” Arietta said just as Audie came into the room, clutching a basket.
“What’s fair enough?” she asked
“I am a fairy, my name is nuff…” Arietta said. “Fair enough. Which means I’ll not moan if you break my egg as you’re cooking it.”
“I’d just say I’d changed my mind and was making omelettes instead.” Audie nodded towards the paper. “Well? Am I famous as ‘legendary film star’s love child in a triangle’?
“No you are not, you objectionable child,” Kristin said with a laugh. “I hope not anyway, I’ve not got that far yet. We’re not front-page, thank goodness. I was reading about an obnoxious bloke I worked with who’s just won the lottery and been told he’s got to share it with a syndicate. Serves him right, he was a bully. If the deal was you only added more money when asked and he forgot to ask, that’s his fault.”
“Yeah, guess so.” Audie had obviously lost interest. “Where’s Dad and Tarq?”
“Still asleep.”
“Are not.” Moss came in and kissed Arietta on the cheek, hugged Kristin and winked at his daughter before rubbing his unshaven cheek across hers.
“Urgh, Dad, puleeease. That’s scratchy.” She rubbed her cheek. “Honestly, men.”
“Got to be, need it like this or they’ll glue fake ones on.” Moss scratched his chin. “They‘re a bu…devil to get off.”
Kristin gave him what Arietta’s mum would have called ‘the glance’—as in, watch your language.
“Sorry, yes, anything in the papers?”
“She’s not looked yet,” Audie complained. “Too busy gloating over some bully-bloke she used to work with getting his comeuppance. Two rashers or three?”
“Er, three please, and two eggs.”
“Glutton. Arietta?”
“Two and one thanks.”
“And Mum’s the same. Tarquin will be like Dad.”
“Am I last? Someone taking my name in vain? Ah well, less time to wait for breakfast.” Tarquin strolled in, kissed everyone except Moss and nodded infinitesimally at Kristin.
Evidently whatever might or might not be needed, it appeared that Moss had agreed as well.
Arietta waited for an answer. None was forthcoming. She ate her breakfast, complimented a blushing Audie on her cookery skills, then turned to Kristin. “Right, put me out of my misery. As Audie once asked me, who do we metaphorically have to kill?”
Kristin laughed. “No one look.” She passed the paper over. “All aww and soppy hearts and flowers. Sort of how nice to see how well people get on. And no one’s cottoned on to our past meetings, thank goodness.”
“Why thank goodness?” Audie said with avid interest. “What did you do, Mum?”
“Mum didn’t do anything,” Arietta said. “We didn’t know each other well, or for long.”
“I was not a very nice person,” Kristin said and bit her lip. “Thank goodness I’ve changed.”
“We both fancied Tarquin,” Arietta added in a hurry. “He was immediately attracted to your mum.”
“But,” Moss added, “he was slow on the doing something about it and your mum and I got together. I must add I didn’t know Arietta then, not even as Thom’s sister. Come to think of it,” he said reflectively, “I didn’t know Thom either.”
“Dad, you’re rambling,” Audie said with a giggle. “Get on with it.”
“Where was I?” Moss sent Arietta a quick wink. “I’ve lost the thread.”
“You and Mum together.”
“Oh yeah, well, we liked each other but decided we were better as friends than lovers. Then she and Tarquin got together.”
“Which was a bit weird when very soon after your dad and I did the friends-only bit, I discovered I was pregnant. I told Dad and Tarquin and how things were going to be. And they are,” Kristin finished. “I love you to bits, and luckily so do they.”
“Wow.” Audie looked impressed. “Go, you lot.” She picked up the paper and began to read it.
We really ought to write fiction. Talk about creative accounting, history-style.
“They don’t half go on, do they?” Audie said after reading for a minute or so. “Hold on, this bit is all about the wedding,” Audie said. “Ohh gosh. You two never told me that,” she accused Arietta and Moss. “Why didn’t you?”
“Told you what?” Arietta asked as Moss blinked. “What have I missed sharing?
“That Dad is best man.”
You what? Best man? Maybe because it’s the first I’ve heard of it?
“Audie, put both feet into it, why don’t you?” Moss said. “None of us had a chance to tell you and Arietta didn’t know. There was another phone call last night saying that someone suggested I wasn’t happy about all this, so we did mega-fast damage limitation. As it happens, Tarquin hadn’t got round to a best man, so I’m now him.”
Kristin stared at her husband-to-be. “I thought you asked Moss ages ago?”
Tarquin fiddled with his teaspoon. “I forgot I hadn’t. I meant to, then that deal with Weales was about to go pear-shaped and I got involved there and well…” He smiled, deprecating. “I was—”
“Oblivious to anything else,” Kristin said. “Just as well I love you and Moss is okay with it.”
“I’ve told him he owes me some of that single malt he’s bought en primur.”
“Eh?” Audie said. “What’s that?”
That was what Arietta wondered. Her French wasn’t bad, but she thought whisky had to be aged a minimum of three years in the barrel to be Scotch. So how could he have bought some while it was newly produced?
“Whisky still in the barrel, not bottled, and as long as it’s in the barrel, no duty paid on it yet. Duty is what you have to pay on a lot of goods,” Moss explained to his daughter. “Complicated stuff, but if you think one barrel or one year’s whisky might be exceptionally good, you can buy it early on.”
“Sort of sneaky but legal?” Audie said with interest. “Sounds fun. A bit like betting on the Grand National when you all let me pick a horse.”
“Oh it is,” Tarquin assured her. “And if you back the wrong horse—or barrel—you can lose your money. Simplified but basically right.”
“As in, don’t spend money you can’t afford,” Moss said. “And before you ask, the whisky would still be very good whisky, it just might not be to your taste. Like different types of baked beans.”
I bet that’s the first time a single malt’s been compared to a tin of baked beans.
“Like you made me give you a pound for the horse?”
“Just like that.”
“Bummer.”
“I’ll hasten to add it’s our own sweepstake,” Moss said. “And it’s a pound a person—family and friends only.”
“Count me in next time,” Arietta said. “I can manage a pound.”
* * * *
“I still do not know how you persuaded me to do this.” Arietta stared at Moss as he navigated the Ferrari over a narrow bridge. She sighed. “Or why you’re prepared to risk this car on the roads we’re going to have to drive over. It’ll end up all bashed and battered.”
They’d waved goodbye to Audie, Kristin and Tarquin after a late lunch, all relieved that what could have been a sensation had ended up as a bit of a ‘well, it’s over and done with and there’s nothing to tell, really’. Newspapers hadn’t been bothered about the way they all got on. As Moss had said with a grin, they wanted ‘antagonism and confrontation’.
Arietta was concerned they had set off in what she thought of as the wrong direction. Not that she knew which was the right direction, but they were heading south, and she had been certain Moss had said his house was north.
“I’m not driving all the way. This is only as far as the airport. We’ll take my helicopter from there, land in the grounds of a nearby hotel and a car will take us to…” He hesitated. “My house.”
That was high living with a capital H. She went over his words in her mind. “Yeah, you never did say much about where your house is.” She’d teased about it being a caravan in the woods and he’d replied, “two joined together” and refused to add anything else except “you’ll see”.
“It’s a surprise,” he said for the umpteenth time.
“I don’t like surprises,” Arietta grumbled, and jumped when he tapped her knee.
“You’ll like this one. I hope.” He grinned. “After all, two caravans are better than one.”
“Really?”
“So they say. You can tell me what you think when we get there.”
Did he sound worried? All of a sudden Arietta realised she was behaving badly. After all, she’d agreed that to stop with him at his home was a good idea. “Sorry, what a cow. I’m excited to see it and wondering if I’ve got everything I need.” And scared that I’ll hate it and he obviously loves it.
“You’ve got your toothbrush, laptop, iPad, phone and clean knickers. What else?”
She sighed. “Lots, no doubt. I’m still thinking about the wedding. Kristin looks fed up and Tarquin worried. What are her parents like? Do they listen to anything Kristin says?”
“Not much. She said after they’d handed their address book over to her parents with stern instructions only to invite the people whose names they had starred, her mum pretended that she’d never heard them say that. Kristin reckons a lot of people were surprised at the invitation, like you were. She sounded ready to slap her mum, and I can so see why. She’s a snob to boot. Mrs B-T, not Kristin. She lost that bit of her ages ago, thank God.”
“I can’t help but feel a bit like a poor relative.” Arietta laughed. “Woe is me, etcetera, etcetera?”
“You’re no slouch, love, and you’re with me. Which, after all the stuff in the newspapers some people would think it was weird that I’m there. We’ll go united.”
“Bit hard when you’re down the front and I’m at the back but…hey, it’s okay, I’m just doing the scaredy-cat routine.” And she didn’t like it one bit.
