End of Night, page 10
“We both knew we wanted to be nurses and went to nursing school together. After we graduated, we started working in the emergency department at Saint Mary’s Hospital. A couple of months later, Dianne started dating a cheetah shifter named Mateo. They got engaged a year later.”
“Did you like Mateo?” Boone asked.
“I didn’t dislike him, but he wasn’t my favourite person or anything, and I definitely wasn’t his,” she said. “He thought I was too loud, too opinionated, too… much.”
“Yeah, I know guys like him,” Boone said. “They’re always assholes.”
She shrugged. “Dianne loved him very much, and for all of his faults, Mateo was deeply in love with Dianne. He would have done anything for her.”
She traced the rim of her coffee mug, the hurt and the grief washing over her as keenly as it had those first few months after Dianne’s death. “I was working a shift at the ER. It was a Wednesday night, and a perfectly ordinary shift until a car accident victim came in.”
She swallowed, the dry click of her throat sounding extraordinarily loud. “It was Dianne.”
“Shit,” Boone said before reaching across and taking her hand.
She gripped it tightly, staring into Alfie’s dark eyes as the miniature poodle stared unblinkingly at her from Boone’s lap. “She’d been t-boned in an intersection by a drunk driver going over a hundred miles per hour. She was in bad shape.”
A soft sob escaped, and she swallowed the sound before it could make itself at home. “I didn’t even realize it was her at first. Her face was… it was messed up, already swollen and bruised because it took them a while to get her out of the car. I only knew it was her when I cut off her clothes and saw the tattoo on her hip.”
Tears slipped down her cheeks. “It was just a small pink daisy, but I recognized it immediately. How could I not when I have the exact same one on my hip?”
Boone set Alfie on the floor before releasing her hand and standing. She wanted to grab his hand, needed it like a lifeline, but if he didn’t want to touch her, he didn’t -
She swallowed a second sob as Boone took both her hands and pulled her to her feet. “Come with me, little lamb.”
She followed him into the living room, and he sat on the couch, pulling her in against him and wrapping his arms around her. She collapsed against him like a broken toy and slung her arm around his waist.
He kissed her forehead and rubbed her back, waiting silently for her to continue. She buried her face in Boone’s throat, breathing him in as Alfie jumped on the couch and curled into a ball behind Hedra’s legs.
Feeling better just being in Boone’s arms, Hedra rested her head on his chest, listening to the solid beat of his heart as she continued. “Once I realized it was Dianne, I…”
“You froze,” he said.
“No,” she said. “My favourite doctor was working the code. She was tough but kind, and she knew right away something was wrong by the look on my face. I told her it was Dianne, and her face twisted, but then she stared straight at me and barked, ‘Are we about to have a problem with you doing your fucking job, Hedra?’”
Her hands trembling, Hedra wiped the tears away. “I said, ‘No, ma’am, we most fucking are not,’ and then we tried to save Dianne’s life.”
She was really crying now, and she hated that even now, nearly two years later, she couldn’t get through it without feeling like her heart was being flattened by a fifth-wheel.
“I’m so sorry, baby.” Boone held her even tighter, pressing kisses against the top of her head and rubbing her back in slow circles. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“We failed,” she said, her voice dull and flat. “Dianne flatlined, but Dr. Jennson kept going for nearly forty-five minutes before calling the time of death. I swear we tried everything, Boone, but we couldn’t get her back.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmured again. “I’m so sorry you had to watch her die, baby.”
He snagged a tissue from the box on the side table and handed it to her. She blew her nose and wiped her face before sitting up. Boone kept his arm around her, and she picked at a small snag in his jeans. “Mateo blamed me.”
“What?” Boone couldn’t hide his surprise. “Why would he do that?”
“Grief does weird things to people,” she said. “Chase told me that Wes blamed himself for Derek’s death because he went left instead of right.”
“Yeah, but you weren’t driving the car that hit Dianne,” Boone said.
“Mateo believed I should have saved her in the ER. He blamed Dr. Jennson, too, hell - he blamed everyone working in the ER that night, but he was particularly vicious toward me. I believed it was his shock and grief that had him acting so irrationally, but as the months went by, he continued telling all of our mutual friends that I had killed Dianne.”
“They didn’t believe him,” Boone said.
“Some did, some didn’t,” she said.
“Fucking hell,” Boone said.
She shrugged. “Everyone was hurting and grieving. Dianne was… she was amazing, Boone. So kind and generous and just… happy. So fucking happy. Everyone loved her, and her loss was almost unfathomable.”
She stared at Boone. “I know you understand. Derek was the same, wasn’t he?”
Boone nodded. “Yeah. Everyone fucking loved him.”
She rubbed away the tear sliding down his cheek with her thumb.
“Fuck. Sorry, Hedra,” he said. “I swear I’m not trying to make this about my loss.”
“I know,” she said. “And never apologize for crying over the loss of someone you loved, Boone.”
He nodded and rested his forehead against hers for a moment. “Finish your story.”
“There isn’t much left to say. Mateo hated me and blamed me, and there was a huge part of me that did feel guilty.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” Boone said.
“I know,” she said. “But you know how guilt is. Doesn’t always make us rational. Anyway, I’ve done a lot of therapy to help with the grief and the lingering guilt, and it’s helped.”
She fell silent for a minute. “I couldn’t go back to the ER after Dianne died. I transferred to neurology, thinking that would help, but it didn’t. Just being at the hospital nearly gave me panic attacks. I tried to work through it with therapy and meds, and I transferred to another two different units over the next year, but it wasn’t… it didn’t work.”
“That’s understandable,” he said.
“I still wanted to be a nurse,” she said. “I still wanted to help people, but the hospital setting was no longer an option. So, I decided to work in private nursing or a doctor’s office. And I decided I needed a fresh start. Mateo was still… well, he wasn’t being shy about how much he hated and blamed me, and Rosehaven is a small enough town that it was hard for me to get away from it.”
“So, you moved here?” Boone asked.
“No. I got a job at a doctor’s office in Emerton. It’s nearly twelve hours from Rosehaven and a big city. I thought it would be perfect for my new start.”
“But it wasn’t,” Boone said.
“It was okay. It’s not like I thought my grief over Dianne’s death wouldn’t still be there, but I’d hoped it would be less, you know?”
“I get it,” he said.
“I missed my family like crazy, but not having to see the looks on people’s faces in Rosehaven whenever I walked into a restaurant or a grocery store was a relief. I worked at the doctor’s office for a few months, and it was okay. I wasn’t changing the world or anything with my nursing, but I knew I needed more time to grieve and process anyway.”
She’d picked so much at the snag in Boone’s jeans that she could see a small hole in the denim. “One of the doctors retired unexpectedly, the clinic got less busy, and they laid me off. My family wanted me to return to Rosehaven, but I couldn’t. Not with Mateo still there and not with the memory of Dianne dying in front of me. But I agreed to move here because it was at least closer to Rosehaven, and Chase and his parents were here.”
She made herself stop poking at Boone’s jeans. “I moved here, put my stuff in storage, and started looking for a job and a place to live. And then Chase told me about your nan, and here we are.”
“Here we are,” Boone echoed softly.
“Anyway, this is the first time Mateo has contacted me since I left Rosehaven, but I’m not surprised.”
“Why?” Boone asked.
“The second anniversary of Dianne’s death is coming up. I imagine it triggered him like the first anniversary did.”
“What did he do at the first anniversary?” Boone asked.
She hesitated, and Boone squeezed her lightly. “Tell me, little lamb.”
“He started texting me, asking how it felt to be living my life while Dianne was turning to dust, shit like that,” she said.
“Fuck,” Boone said.
“He was hurting,” she said. “He didn’t know how to deal with his grief. He ramped up the trash talk about me around town, and he…”
“He what?” Boone asked.
“He spray painted the word killer across the door of the house I was renting at the time.”
“Holy fuck,” Boone said. “What did the police say?”
“I didn’t go to them. I had no proof it was him.”
“Hedra,” Boone said, “you still should have -”
“My brothers spoke with Mateo,” Hedra said. “Against my wishes, they went to his house and had a conversation with him.”
“Good,” Boone said.
She frowned at him. “I was pissed at them for a long time over that, Boone. I didn’t need them fighting my battles, and again, Mateo was grieving. Threatening him was a dick thing to do.”
“He’s threatening you,” Boone said.
She shook her head. “He isn’t.”
“Yes, baby, he is,” Boone said firmly. “You can’t just ignore this.”
“Yes, I can,” she said. “And don’t you even dare think of telling my family about this. Unless you want all four of my siblings on your doorstep and me putting laxatives in your coffee, you will not breathe a word to them, Boone Jameson.”
“I don’t have their contact information,” Boone said.
“Like that would stop you,” she said.
He rubbed her back again. “You need to file a report with the police.”
“Absolutely not.” She pulled away from Boone’s warmth, ignoring Alfie’s warning growl when her legs touched him. “I am not calling the police, Boone.”
“Little lamb -”
“Don’t,” she warned. “You cannot change my mind about this, and if you keep trying, I’ll quit.”
He gave her a frustrated look that she ignored. “Mateo is feeling triggered. He’ll work through it.”
“What if his way of working through it is getting revenge on you for his bonkers idea that you’re responsible for Dianne?”
“He’s not that type of person, okay? Can he be hot-tempered and a dick? Sure. But that doesn’t mean he’ll go beyond sending a hurtful text.”
“It wasn’t just hurtful,” Boone said. “It was a direct threat, baby.”
“I’m ignoring it,” she said, “and that’s the end of it, Boone.”
“Maybe your brothers could speak with him again,” he said.
She sighed. “Mateo left Rosehaven. No one in my family knows where he is.”
Boone tensed. “So, he could be here, is what you’re saying.”
“He’s not,” she said.
“Did he know you moved here?”
She shrugged. “Maybe. I don’t really know. Probably… it’s not like my family would have kept it a secret from people in town.”
She could sense his frustration with her. “Baby, if he’s here and he’s stalking you, then -”
“He’s not,” she said. “Boone, please just trust me on this, okay? That text he sent will be the extent of it. I promise.”
“What’s his last name?” Boone asked. “I can have Lusa look into him, and we can find out if he’s living here or not.”
“No,” she said. “I’m not giving you Mateo’s last name.”
He cupped her face. “Little lamb, do as I say.”
She laughed. “You are not my mate, Boone. And even if you were, I won’t say how high when you say jump.”
“I just want to keep you safe, little lamb.” He pressed a soft kiss against her mouth. “Let me keep you safe.”
His tiger purred to her, and she couldn’t deny that a small part of her wanted to accept his protection, but she shoved it deep. She’d hurt Mateo enough in this life. She wouldn’t be the cause of more pain for him. She pulled away from Boone and stood. “No, Boone. I’m perfectly safe, and there’s no need for you to look into Mateo’s life.”
“Hedra -”
“You have to get to work, and I want to wash Althea’s bedding and vacuum her room before she returns from breakfast.” Hedra squeezed Boone’s shoulder. “Everything will be fine, Boone. I promise.”
CHAPTER 12
“Hey, Chase, you got a minute?” Boone leaned against Chase’s cubicle wall.
“Hey. I thought you were at the celebrity’s house this afternoon,” Chase said.
“I’m heading there soon.”
“Cool. You going for drinks tonight with Wes and the other guys?” Chase asked.
“I am. You?”
“I’ll be there. Wes stopped in earlier today. He’s fucking tanned and looks more relaxed than I’ve ever seen him. He even said more than a few words to me. Eleanor must be a good influence on him,” Chase grinned.
“She definitely is,” Boone said. “Listen, I wanted to talk with you about Hedra.”
“Is that right?”
Boone didn’t like the cautious look Chase gave him.
“Yeah.” He decided to just go for it. Maybe the element of surprise would trick Chase into telling him. “Can you tell me Mateo’s last name?
“Fuck, no,” Chase said.
Boone’s tiger growled. Let me free. I’ll teach the little shit a lesson.
“Chase,” Boone said, trying not to give into his frustration, “give me his last name.”
“No,” Chase said.
This time, he let his tiger’s growl slip out. Chase, the impudent little shit, just gave him a cool look. “You think threatening me with your tiger will convince me to tell you?”
“It’s not a threat if he teaches you a life lesson about respecting your elders,” Boone said.
Chase rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay, Dad. Give it up, buddy. You’re not that much older than me. Besides, Hedra texted me earlier and specifically told me not to tell you his name.”
“Chase, I will kick your ass,” Boone said.
He shrugged. “Hedra is family, and I won’t betray her trust. Besides, I’m way more afraid of Hedra than I am of you. She’s fucking tough as nails. When we were teens, I told some guy she had a crush on that she wrote poems about him. She shoved my fingers into the garbage disposal and threatened to turn it on while I sobbed like a baby.”
Despite his worry, Boone couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s my girl.”
Chase studied him, and Boone cleared his throat. “Look, you know this guy texted her, don’t you?”
“Yeah, she told me,” Chase said.
“Then help me help her,” Boone said.
“I won’t betray her trust,” Chase repeated. “Besides, she’s right. He won’t escalate beyond this.”
“Do you know him?”
“No, but I know what Hedra’s brothers said they would do to him if he contacted Hedra again,” Chase said. “And trust me, I love my cousins, but they are over-the-top protective of Hedra, and Mateo would have to be an idiot to go after her beyond a couple of dumb texts.”
“People who are grieving make stupid decisions,” Boone said.
Chase didn’t reply and his frustration rising, Boone said, “Okay, but if something else happens, if Hedra is threatened in any way and she doesn’t tell me, do you promise to tell me?”
Chase hesitated. His voice hoarse at the thought of Hedra being in danger, Boone said, “I need to keep her safe, Chase.”
Chase leaned back in his chair. “You like my cousin.”
“I think she’s a good person.”
Chase snorted. “You’re falling for her. Tell me the truth.”
“Yeah, I think I am. She’s amazing, okay?” Fuck, it felt so good to say those words out loud.
“She is,” Chase said. “I promise to tell you if something else happens.”
Relief swept over Boone, and he gave Chase a grateful look. “Thanks, Chase.”
“Don’t mention it, man. But if Hedra finds out, I hope you’re prepared to save my ass from her.”
Boone laughed. “I got your back.”
“Pretty sure you’re not supposed to have that, Alfie.” Boone hung his jacket in the closet, staring at Alfie, who stood in the hallway, the dishtowel hanging from his mouth and his stub of a tail wagging happily.
“Alfie, you jerk, bring that back!” Hedra appeared in the hallway, her face red with irritation. “What is with you and stealing my shit?”
“Technically,” his nan’s voice drifted out of the kitchen, “the dishtowel belongs to my grandson, not you.”
“Semantics, Althea,” Hedra said. “I was using it to dry dishes. Therefore, it is currently my property.”
She glanced up and gave Boone such a look of exasperation that he couldn’t help but grin.
“You’re just cranky because you’re hungover,” Nan said.
“I am not hungover,” Hedra said. “I feel perfectly fine.”
“You don’t smell fine,” Nan said.
“Nan, be nice,” Boone called as he joined Hedra, who was trying to wrestle the dishtowel from Alfie’s mouth.
“Nice is for children and petting zoo operators,” Nan said. “Besides, if my nurse smells like cheap wine and weed, I’m gonna call her on it.”
“It wasn’t that cheap,” Hedra said.
“Smells like it was,” Nan said.
Boone picked up Alfie and gripped the dishtowel. “Alfie, drop it. Drop it, Alfie.”
