A River to Die For, page 9
“A large part of that is my fault. It didn’t bother me that you weren’t running around with the other kids. When you didn’t go to all the social events your classmates were going to, I was actually glad. Drugs, drinking, smoking, sex—those weren’t things I had to worry about like other mothers did. I see now that while you were working so hard to become a college professor, studying anthropology, Indian history, all that, you were missing out on relationship lessons. I should have seen to it you attended at least some parties and dances during your teens.”
He shook his head, and his smile held a tinge of sadness. “Most of the time I wasn’t asked.”
“I’m sure it was only because everyone knew you weren’t interested. But now that you’ve succeeded in reaching your education and teaching goals, it’s time to work on relationships.”
“Well, yes, but it’s easier said than done.” He blushed, then laughed. “I don’t mean sex, I think I’ve got that part figured out pretty well. But I want to do and say what Catherine likes. I want us to understand each other and share...things, and I don’t know what...I don’t know how.”
He floundered to a stop, then began again. “I guess women and men are very different, I mean in thinking, not just the obvious physical things. Is it important to know about this Mars and Venus stuff?”
“Maybe. But what’s more important is recognizing and then really feeling love and caring. Of course women and men are different in a lot of ways, physiological and mental, but they are alike in the need for love and understanding, Catherine no less than you.
“Now here’s a tough question. Think before you answer. Exactly why did you hike off and leave her?”
“I’ve already thought about that, over and over. I was too involved in my interests, in...myself.”
“Okay, tell me more.”
“I was eager to find something at the Buffalo that hasn’t been discovered yet. Historical sites there have been robbed by amateur curio seekers and professional looters for many years, making it difficult or impossible for archeologists and historians to match up the few remaining bits and pieces and understand past lives. So much knowledge about human development patterns and our earth environment is still hidden from us because we are seeing only bits and pieces, not complete pictures from intact sites.”
He shifted into teaching mode so easily,
Carrie thought. That could be off-putting to a woman. Phooey, it’s sometimes off-putting to me. I wonder how Catherine feels about being treated like she’s one of his students?
“So, why did I leave Catherine? I was totally focused on the hope I’d be the one to locate a site no one has seen for thousands of years. I didn’t think about her, that’s the huge and terrible truth.”
“Well, a focus on discovery does sound worthy, even if a bit lopsided.”
“What makes it worse, Mom, is that Catherine seems truly interested in all this. I feel she understands the importance of our historic past. So, why wasn’t I willing to share? Why couldn’t I...” His words were cut off by a choking sound. “For all I know, she’s suffering horribly right now because of my mistakes, and my chance for real happiness with her is gone.”
Oh, dear heaven,
Carrie thought. She glanced out the window and saw Shirley standing in the hall.
“There’s Shirley. I’d better tell her I’ll be a few more minutes. She might want to wait for me in the visitor area.” Carrie went to the door, her back to her son while she and Shirley spoke briefly. Shirley nodded and walked away.
Rob had shifted position in the bed and was staring at his mother when she came back in, his eyes displaying some new emotion she couldn’t identify. He still wasn’t happy with himself, that much she easily understood.
Carrie sat in her chair again, listened once more for ideas, then said, “Your chance for developing friendship or something more with Catherine isn’t gone. Recognizing the problem is a major step toward fixing it. The next step is being sorry and saying so, which you have done here and must do to Catherine when you see her. Maybe all this sounds too simple, but once you decide you really want to change, you only have to get busy doing it.
“You’re a smart man, but changing direction is going to take more than intellectual thought. It will take real love, including the warm, hugging kind of love. It will take unselfish giving and sharing. If you’re thinking about marriage, then that kind of love is already opening up in your life.” She stood and took her purse from the foot of the bed.
“Son, why did the doctor put you in a private room?”
“Oh, I guess because I was raving about Catherine and he thought I was off my head. He said I needed peace and quiet.”
“Your mother agrees with him, but not because I believe you’re off your head. You should stay here because you do need quiet time for thinking. You’ll have to listen and let go—begin a mental free fall into a new way of seeing and doing. I had to do that after your dad died and I moved to Arkansas. You can do it too.
“It’s time for us to go find Henry now, but before I leave I want to be quiet for a moment.” She shut her eyes.
After a pause, Rob’s excited voice broke into her thoughts. “Mom, I just remembered something. This morning in the bluffshelter I heard banging. It sounded like it was coming from the cave that opened into the back of the shelter. It went ‘bang-bang-bang’ pause, ‘bang-bang-bang.’ Over and over. It was so regular. It must have been a human-made sound. It stopped after a while and I forgot about it until now. Do you suppose it could have been Catherine? Tell them...tell them.”
“I will. Do you have your cell phone so we can keep in touch?”
“Whoever hit me stole it. They may have found it on that man lying below the bluff. I forgot to tell you about him.”
“You told us about the dead man when we first got here and you were describing what happened.”
“There’s more. I mean, I must have pushed him over the edge. If he was the one who hit me, maybe I fought back. Maybe I killed him.”
“Of course you didn’t, you’ve never reacted in anger like that before.”
She couldn’t help thinking, He couldn’t kill anyone. He’s an academic, for goodness’ sake—an intellectual thinker, even a pacifist. He isn’t at all like his mother, who sometimes takes action before her thoughts are fully engaged.
“This is different. It may have been self-defense, but Mom, I don’t like feeling I might have killed someone for any reason.”
“Did they mention the dead man after they found you? While they were bringing you here?”
“N-nooo.”
“And you have no idea how he really died. Well, don’t borrow trouble then. You have better things to think about.
“I promise to call you any time there’s news, and I’ll check in the morning to see when we can come pick you up.” She pointed to the phone by his bed. “I have my cell phone if you need to call me.”
“Catherine...”
She squeezed his hand. “I’ll tell the rangers about the banging you heard. That may very well lead them to her.” She smiled and winked in an attempt at cheerfulness she was far from feeling, and then went to join Shirley.
Chapter 13
As soon as his mother
was gone, Rob rang for a nurse, and when she came, asked for a phone book. She gave him a skeptical look, so he said, “I’ll be leaving here tomorrow and I want to learn more about Harrison while I have the time. You know, restaurants and all.”
“I’ll see,” she told him, and left the room.
Rob lifted the lower part of his body, reached down, and pulled out what he’d been sitting on. He laid it on the top sheet and studied it. Thank goodness he’d taken the right credit card, the one from his mom’s college that only listed her initials and McCrite.
There wasn’t much money, a twenty and some coins. He’d had to grab quickly and didn’t have time to check what she had left in her purse. Enough, he hoped.
Rob stared at the card and money. He’d actually stolen from his mother. The wry laugh that burst out startled him, and he looked through the door glass. No one out there to hear him.
So now I’m a thief as well as a killer.
Heat surged into his face and the back of his head throbbed. But I have to get out of here, I have to go back to Rush. How else could I have managed that? I’ll pay Mom back, and she has another credit card with her, I saw it in her purse.
The words sounded reasonable, just like killing in self-defense sounded reasonable.
What else could he have done? When the ranger brought him to the hospital, a nurse took away his billfold and pocket change, “for safekeeping.” Thank goodness no one on the emergency room staff found his driver’s license. He usually kept it in a slit pocket inside his waistband when he was hiking in back country. A quick look at his clothes not long after they brought him to this room proved the license was still there. That, and what he’d taken from his mom’s purse, offered his only way back to Rush.
Mom. Wouldn’t she have done the same thing if she were in his place? After thinking for a moment, he decided she would have.
Rob slipped the credit card and money into his night stand drawer just seconds before the nurse came back. She held out a phone book.
As soon as they were in the elevator Shirley asked, “He gonna be okay?”
“He is okay physically. I may have given him too much to think about though.”
“Because of...?”
“Because of Catherine, and it’s much more than the fact he abandoned her. Shirley, he’s fallen in love with her, or at least thinks he has. That would be wonderful, except he’s still like a teenager when it comes to relationships, and I just realized it’s my fault. I encouraged academics instead of social skills when he was growing up.”
“Oh, shoot, maybe you did some of that, but he’s long since been old enough to think for himself.”
“I suppose, but he’s in a muddle right now, and I made a few suggestions.”
“Kinda dangerous ground, seein’ as how he is grown. He’ll get around to figuring out the man-woman thing eventually. Unless you think maybe...”
“He’s not gay, if that’s what you mean. I’d know, simply because we talked about that a long time ago and he’s aware I’d still treat him the same, love him just as much. Besides, he cares for Catherine like a heterosexual male would.” She sighed. “But I’m not forgetting our foremost concern, and certainly his, is finding her.”
“Okay, let’s get to it,” Shirley said as they walked across the parking lot. “You gonna call Henry now?”
“That’s next, then we’ll find a grocery store.”
As they left the store, Shirley asked, “Shouldn’t you phone in about your missing credit card?”
“No, I don’t need to. I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m sure it’s not lost or stolen. I haven’t opened my billfold since I left home, and my purse hasn’t been out of my sight. After the first panic I remembered that yesterday I had the card out when I ordered a jacket from Penney’s catalog. I’m sure I left it on my desk. And I have the other card with me, all I need.”
Henry was at the Tyler Bend Visitor Center when his cell phone rang. He’d walked up to the center for the fifth time that day, hoping at each trip there would be good news. There wasn’t.
Hearing Carrie’s voice, he asked about Rob, then answered her still-unasked question by saying there was no news from the searchers.
“Henry, I think I have helpful information about where Catherine might be. It’s from Rob. Is someone there who can tell the people looking for her what he said?”
Henry didn’t waste time asking what the information was; he just passed the phone to Shane Lind who listened, making notes. The intensity of Shane’s interest gave Henry the first feeling of hope he’d had since learning that Rob—but not Catherine—had been found.
After the ranger handed the phone back and hurried into the office, Carrie told Henry about the banging noise Rob heard. She sent him a kiss just before Shirley’s voice came on, asking only for driving instructions to his campsite.
That was it. Henry clicked the phone off and thought: It’s as if any time we waste talking causes delay in finding Catherine.
He pushed the visitor center’s side door open and walked out on the deck. Trees marked the path of the river far below, with bluffs and hills towering beyond it, but he wasn’t in the mood for noticing scenery. He sat on a bench and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes and rubbing two fingers back and forth across his forehead. He felt limp, like he really was Carrie’s Huggy Bear and all his stuffing had leaked out. Lack of sleep and worry were catching up with him.
How long had she been missing? Over thirty hours? About that, but of course they had no real idea when she was...what? Abducted? Lost?
He knew too well that the colder a crime gets—if this was a crime—the less chance there’d be of a good resolution.
Oh God, protect her. Help us find her.
His stomach rumbled, and he wondered if Catherine had anything to eat or drink. Rob mentioned a backpack with water and a sandwich, but that wasn’t much for this length of time. Catherine must be hungry and thirsty right now. If she’s still...alive.
Henry opened an eye and glanced down at his hands, realizing he’d begun turning the shiny gold wedding band around and around on his finger.
If
only...
If only what? A few months ago I didn’t know if Catherine King was alive or dead. Or care.
NO!
Oh, yes, Henry Jensen King, that’s true, and you have to face it. You didn’t think about her, didn’t care where she was.
But then Carrie invited Catherine to our wedding. Now I have a living, breathing sister—and I really do care about her after all.
And now he was left with guilt stretching back through thirty-four lost years, which at times seemed too much pain to endure. “Forgive me,” he said aloud.
His stomach rumbled again.
Food
. Henry tried to remember when he’d eaten last. Supper? Yes. Hot dogs. Fixed hot dogs and chili for me and the kids. Threw most of it away when the kids didn’t come.
Breakfast? Can’t remember. Wasn’t there a breakfast bar and juice? No lunch, though.
He looked at his watch. Almost 4:00.
When Carrie got here, what would he say to her? Would she cry? He imagined holding her in his arms and, God help him, crying along with her.
No, no. Now that Rob was safe and Carrie was over crying with relief, she probably wouldn’t cry again. But he...
Just what could he say to Carrie?
That was the last thought bothering Henry because—eyes closed again, head propped against the building—he fell asleep.
Ranger Lind pointed the way toward the deck and Shirley, who was nearest the door, pushed it open. She stopped so suddenly that Carrie whumped into her back and a gasped Unh spurted out.
Shirley put a finger on her lips and whispered, “Asleep. Must be worn out, poor man.”
They stood together, looking down at Henry for a few moments, and Carrie couldn’t think when she’d loved him more. She wanted to cradle him in her arms.
Well, why not? They’d have to wake him anyway. Slowly, carefully, she sat on the bench, slipped an arm behind his waist, crossed the other in front, and hugged. Then, stretching up, she kissed his chin. Rough. He hadn’t shaved today.
“Hello there, Huggy Bear.”
He mumbled, “Stuffing leaked out.”
She understood. “I’m not surprised. And when did you eat or sleep last? How about we find our cabin and I fix you an omelet, then tuck you in bed?”
He came fully awake and returned her hug and kiss. “Umm, you feel good,” he said as Shirley murmured, “Well, look at that!” Surprised, Carrie glanced toward her and saw she stood at the railing looking out over the valley, her back to them.
“I’ll be glad to have one of your omelets, my little love. We’ll cook at my campsite, though. I need to stay near where news about Catherine will come in. I have the big stew kettle with me, it’ll do fine.” He got to his feet, pulling Carrie up beside him.
“Omelet?” said Shirley. “Kinda uppity food for a campground, isn’t it?”
Ignoring her question, Carrie asked, “Are you hungry?”
“I could eat, yes,” Shirley said.
“Okay, I’ll make omelets for three. True, I’ve never made them at a campsite, but if Henry has a kettle, it’ll work.”
“Kettle?”
Again Carrie and Henry ignored the question, and the three of them started toward the visitor parking lot.
As soon as Shirley’s big old Cadillac was parked behind the blue truck, Henry and Carrie lifted out sacks of food, found the eggs, a package of prepared bacon, and a plastic bag holding onions and peppers. “There’s a jar of black olives somewhere in that last sack,” Carrie said to Shirley, “and look for the package of shredded cheese and the box of quart freezer bags, please.”
“Freezer bags? For leftovers? Here?”
Carrie just shook her head and smiled at her friend.
“Okay, okay, I’ll be surprised.” Shirley watched in silence while Carrie spread wax paper on the table, put down the kitchen shears and knife Henry handed her, then thumped an onion, a pepper, and the package of bacon on the paper.
“You can help me peel and cut up enough stuff for four omelets if you like,” Carrie said. “Henry eats two. I’ll do the onion first; I need to cook it a bit.” She peeled and sliced an onion, then began cutting it into small pieces with the scissors.
Henry filled his kettle with water, lit the propane stove, and set the water on to boil. He pulled out a small iron skillet and handed it to Carrie. She dumped in a bit of oil and the onion, and then stirred them over heat while Shirley cut up peppers and bacon, using the scissors instead of a knife. “This works pretty good,” she said. “Learn something new every day.”
Carrie pulled out four freezer bags and held them open while Henry broke two eggs into each bag. Air was squeezed out of the bags, they were sealed, and Carrie and Henry began squishing the eggs to mix them.
