Stone Cold Fox, page 21
But perhaps some of her influence wouldn’t be the worst thing where Gale was concerned. Nothing too dark. No. No. Never that dark. Not again. But I needed to start playing dirty, too. Gale’s threat now all but demanded it. Cat and mouse was over. Time to go in for the kill.
Figuratively speaking.
* * *
• • •
COLLIN AND I performed our first dance to a song he loved. “It’s Always You,” made famous by Frank Sinatra. It was a song with themes of overt obsession so I was delighted by his choice, even though Sinatra is rather pedestrian. Collin and his mother danced to another Frank Sinatra song with much less sexual overtones. I don’t remember which one because I didn’t really care. I even danced with my father-in-law, at his behest, since everyone would be watching. He chose a Dean Martin song to really mix it up. Way to go, Hayes. He finally got to put actual hands on me. I knew he’d been dying to do so, despite his initial protests of the marriage.
After a few of the old standards, courtesy of the live band, it was time to spice up the dance floor with the DJ. Everyone was good and sauced and rarin’ to go by that time, including myself. I thrived when I got to dance, and at my wedding, I was going to steal the show, especially after Gale’s moment in the sun. When there’s a dance floor, I’m on it all night long. Seriously. I do not leave unless I absolutely must. I’ve always been good at it. Whenever I’d gone out dancing, I would get compliments from complete strangers about how great I looked. So yes, I was most certainly going to put on a show in front of my now-legal nearest and dearest. Truthfully, when I get the opportunity to dance, I take it, because it’s the only time I feel like I can actually be myself. I’m not pretending when I’m dancing. I genuinely adore it. I don’t have to think about anything. I just do it. And I look incredible.
I should have known it would be like a moth to a flame. Like clockwork, during a particularly pulsating Rihanna number that all but encouraged gyrating hips and ass, Dave Bradford found his way over to the bride. “Mrs. Case, may I dance with you?” he shouted at me over the music. A sly smile. His tie long gone. A sweaty brow. He was irresistible.
“I’ll dance with anyone if they’re good!” I shouted back to him. I wasn’t lying. In my opinion, men should always learn how to dance if they want to get in with women anywhere, especially if they’re hard on the eyes. I’d dance with the ugliest guy in the bar if he had serious moves. It’s beyond fun to be twirled and dipped and tossed around by someone who actually knows what they’re doing, even if they’re ghastly by any other measure.
“I’m not very good.” Dave grinned, but I didn’t believe him. He looked like he’d be a phenomenal dancer, limber in the right places, but perhaps that was wishful thinking. He got closer to talk into my ear. “But I’ll do it anyway because it’s fun and I don’t really care what any of these assholes think about me.”
“I’ll make you look good.” I grinned.
Fate smiled upon us because the music slowed down to something undeniably sultry. I’m convinced the DJ had been observing our interaction. Perhaps she instinctively knew I wanted this man to put his hands on me. Maybe she thought we were friendly exes or people from each other’s past who never quite got the timing right. Either way, she must have felt wistful about it enough to throw us a bone in the form of a slow song so we could enjoy the moment, but one that wouldn’t be interpreted by anyone else as anything unsavory. She played a Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga duet of another old standard. It was the kind of song you’d dance to with your grandfather or a child or a slow uncle.
It wasn’t amorous. The perfect disguise.
“A stylist, huh?” he whispered again in my ear, far too close. He then waved at Collin, who waved back, as if to give his approval for the dance. Curious. Collin knew this man had no problems encroaching on women who were spoken for. My husband must have been trying to play it cool. I wondered if I’d hear about the transgression later, considering he had made his wishes about Dave and me known, but I couldn’t imagine Collin bringing it up while we consummated our marriage, which I was actually excited to do so I could further fantasize about Dave with no repercussions.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I smiled, pulling away intentionally to create space. I wanted him to work for it.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Dave said. He gave me a quick twirl, tossing me out, before pulling me in close again. He was a good dancer.
“Why didn’t you say anything when we stopped by the dreaded singles table?” I whispered back to him.
“Funny. But I don’t find being single dreadful at all,” he said, pleased with himself.
“So I’ve heard,” I purred.
“You know, we all thought Coll would bag a socialite when his number was up. Not a career woman like you. It’s impressive. My money was on Heather Concord. Easy on the eyes, low on the brains. But you probably keep him on his toes.”
“You didn’t bet on your friend Gale?” I asked.
“No.” He laughed. “I did not bet on Gale Wallace-Leicester marrying Collin Case.”
“Why not?” I asked, feigning innocence, which he caught on to immediately.
“You’re bad,” he replied. He liked it.
“So you’re coming back to New York full-time?”
“Mm-hmm.” He nodded, giving me another spin out and back in again. “Still figuring out where I want to land. Somewhere safe.” He smiled.
“What about the Upper West Side? To stay close to your friend Hemingway.”
“So she’s a comedian?”
“The observational kind. What were you up to that day?”
“When I’m in town for a quick trip, I usually stay with Gale.”
“Why?” I couldn’t hide my disdain and that made him laugh again.
“She doesn’t ask questions.”
“I think it’s a valid question considering the existence of hotels and, I’m assuming, a fair amount of properties in the family?”
“Gale’s an old friend and her place is nice. It’s private. And I can be off the grid a bit,” he explained. “See, Bea, I don’t like my whereabouts widely known. I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m followed. Socially, that is.” I snorted. “I know I sound like a dick”—he laughed, too—“but it’s true. So I was in town for some meetings and I didn’t want to see anyone else and I didn’t want anyone seeing me. Fuck Page Six, you know?”
“Mysterious whereabouts. Hmm. Sounds about right.”
“Oh yeah?” Dave was amused. He looked too hot. Too delicious. His dark hair slicked back for the occasion, a regular wolf of Wall Street up to no good, practically licking his chops as he grinned at me and my décolletage. “What have you heard?” I’d heard too much. Bad things that drew me to him, because deep down I was a bad person, too. I had to fight it.
“I know all about your contribution to my bachelorette celebration.”
“What?” He looked genuinely confused. I refused to believe him. I had to. For so many reasons, largely because this information was what would keep me away from him. I wanted no part of anyone who went to the house on East Eighty-First Street willingly.
“You know what I’m talking about. Don’t play this game with me.”
“I think you’re probably too smart for me to play games with, no matter what Gale says about you.” He was trying to distract me with chatter about Gale. Smart, but I was smarter.
“I’m sure she has plenty to say about me. None of which I care to hear.”
“I wouldn’t stress about it. She’s obsessed with Collin. We all know it. It’s been that way forever. Kinda sad. Gale’s all right. Just stuck.”
“Are you all right?”
“Probably not.” He grinned, getting closer to my ear once again. His beard brushed against my shoulder. It was impossibly soft. His crotch grazed my thigh. A semi lurked, not surprising. “But neither are you, hmm?”
He saw me. The person I tried so much to hide. It was hot and hideous. I didn’t want to be seen unless I allowed it, which I never did, but Dave wasn’t waiting for permission. He was taking what he wanted, just like I did. A kindred spirit of the most menacing kind, akin to taking a shot. Hurts a little at first, in a fun way. A light buzz almost immediately appears. You want it again; you’re having a good time; it feels like living on the edge. Too much, though, and it could all go dark. Very dark. A blackout.
“Careful,” I warned. I couldn’t go down that road no matter how much fun it looked.
“Being all right is boring. You’re far from boring,” he said.
“You don’t know anything about me,” I scoffed, jerking away from him, afraid he knew everything about me, could smell it on me. Collin was watching. So was Gale. Haven, too. Mother would have been watching as well. Gleefully, I’m sure. Dave jerked me back into his body. I allowed it so I could enjoy the last few seconds. The song had to be almost over, and after our dance I never wanted to speak to him again.
It wouldn’t be worth it. Would it?
“I know you broke into Gale’s apartment,” Dave said.
“Who cares? Gale knows, too. Did you talk to her about it?”
“Nah. None of my business. I didn’t even put two and two together until it came to me where I’d seen you before. Tagged in all of Collin Case’s photos. A pretty quick engagement, no?”
“Just under a year is perfectly civilized for normal people who pursue monogamous relationships,” I said, knowing neither of us were particularly normal. “Collin and I knew what we wanted. We’re adults.”
“But you can’t really get to know a person in that short amount of time.”
He dipped me next and I really went for it. Might as well. I threw my head back so dramatically that we received a smattering of applause for our performance. Dave whipped me back upright and we locked eyes again.
Okay, this had to end. I saw Haven gnawing on the straw of her diet G&T, watching us intently, probably frothing at the mouth at the mere glimmer of an affair, which would result in a swift kick of my ass right out the Case family doors if she had her way. I couldn’t give her the satisfaction.
I looked again for Collin. He was having a stiff drink at the bar. I’d clearly driven him to it, so I needed to get out of there and make amends with a cheeky public caress at the front of his trousers.
“Isn’t that part of the fun of marriage? That’s when you get to know each other. When you’re really in it,” I challenged Dave. “And you either make it or you don’t.”
“Isn’t that playing with fire?”
“Maybe. But I’m not afraid of getting burned.”
The song ended on my lie, and I left Dave on the dance floor.
Of course I was afraid of getting burned in my marriage to Collin. Sure, the prenup was favorable to the untrained eye, but it wouldn’t mean hanging up my hat for good, which is all I wanted to do. I had to stay with Collin. I wanted to stay with Collin. If I played by the rules, there wouldn’t be any problems, beyond extreme boredom, which was somewhat of an Achilles’ heel of mine. I could see myself struggling with the rules. Gale provoking me, seemingly forever a fixture in my marriage unless I did something about it. A grim and yet somehow gripping prospect. Dave. Desiring a full-blown dick-down courtesy of the hottest man I may have ever laid eyes on. A disaster waiting to happen if I wasn’t careful. Even Syl. Perhaps I was cut out for a female friendship after all, I just hadn’t found the right woman to convince me until her. But what if she couldn’t be trusted? The temptations were firing from all angles, but I had told myself that after Collin and I were married, my rabble-rousing would have to come to a close. Stay the course. Be a good wife. Reap all the benefits. Lonely and boring, but safe, which was the whole point of the ruse anyway.
God. Mother would definitely be laughing if she could see me now. I was so irritated with myself for thinking of her at all on my wedding day. The opposite of my North Star. I would not go south like her. I needed to distract myself from such a depressing state of mind, but Collin was taking shots with his friends, already sloppy, singing along to Neil Diamond. He’d be of little comfort. I really wanted to talk to Syl. I didn’t know what I could reasonably tell her, but her presence could be soothing. I scanned the room for my friend, noticing that Gale was still watching me. Observing me with a half smile and a half-drunk glass of champagne in her hand. Sinister energy as per usual. Did she know I was searching for Syl? Did she think I was looking for her? None of it mattered because Syl had already left.
I was on my own. As always.
CHAPTER
14
COLLIN AND I went to the Maldives for our honeymoon. We woke up every morning to a shimmering blend of teal, cerulean and turquoise waters, gently knocking against the dock poles of our overwater bungalow. I had a different bikini for every day—iridescent, animal print, floral, more animal print, of course. Giant hats and sunnies and constant SPF to keep that moneymaker fresh. When golden hour struck each evening, the pinks and the purples only emphasizing my outrageous tan, Collin was an excellent Instagram-husband, taking thirst-trap photos of me in front of all the breathtaking scenery. He took extra care to capture my essence from my best angles—not terribly difficult, as they’re all pretty fantastic. I even allowed for a few newlywed selfies, since those would be obligatory to post as well. My caption game was on point, drawing near-constant DMs from people who wanted to “collaborate.” No, thank you. Delete.
The point of it all?
I knew that Gale Wallace-Leicester would see every post on my feed—and in my stories, with a fake account so I wouldn’t outright catch her stalking. Nothing felt better than that. I also innocently wondered if Dave was checking in, too. My dance with Dave at the reception aside, Collin and I actually had a wonderful time together on our trip, leading me to believe any foul moods or brain fog he had been experiencing was all due to wedding stress, like he’d said it was. Now the wedding was over so we could finally be ourselves.
Within reason.
* * *
• • •
COLLIN AND I arrived back at our town house with a signature newlywed glow, physically manifesting in our enviable island tans. He even lifted me across the threshold like we were in the 1950s. Lovely. I had never felt so accomplished. Work was work, that was always a given, I’d rise to the very top in due time, now just for fun. But marrying into one of the richest families on the planet? That took true skill, and I’d done it, all while I was still shy of thirty.
There was nothing left to do except finally take down Gale Wallace-Leicester for good.
Oh, no. I wasn’t about to forget every stunt she pulled. Attempts to sully my reputation with the Case family. Her bullshit toast at the wedding. East Eighty-First Street. I couldn’t forget. I wouldn’t let her just slip away, lying in wait, rearing her ugly head into my marriage whenever she saw fit to do so, like I’m sure she was planning. I’d thought long and hard about it on the honeymoon. I wouldn’t be like Mother, not this time, but playtime was over. I was Collin’s wife now, a newfound power in our dynamic, and Gale needed to go. I was well within my rights. She was asking for it, and I would use Collin to do it. It was the best way to proactively protect myself and I wanted to make it hurt. Why not? She deserved it.
If Mother were in my position, I knew she’d have an entirely different outlook on the matter. She wouldn’t give Gale the time of day. She probably would have drowned Collin in the Indian Ocean, after learning his net worth, taking him out on a catamaran at sea on the honeymoon, placing the blame on a feigned boating accident, fully milking the persona of a rich widow for as long as it behooved her. And then she’d be on to the next one.
See, we were nothing alike. Mother and me. I had done what I had to do to survive.
But Mother liked the chase. Mother liked the con. Mother really liked a long con, provided the stakes continued to grow. It was exciting for her. She relished seeing what she could get away with, and for a very long time, she got away with a lot. Mother was never about love or stability or finding a partner or trying to raise a well-adjusted daughter or anything a normal person would like to achieve. She wasn’t a normal person. I knew I wasn’t normal by the standard metrics either, I couldn’t help what I inherited, but I knew I could be different from her.
I had to be, once I freed myself from her.
Would I have liked the opportunity to show a man the real me? Have a real relationship? Fall in love? Of course I considered it, a long time ago when I first returned to New York, but who in their right mind would want to deal with everything that I carried with me? What was inside of me? Who would really stay at the end of the day? No one normal, no one kind, no good man would cook breakfast for a girl like me, buy me flowers just because, introduce me to their own mother, knowing the truth about me. She took that from me. A girl like me would only attract the darkness, and she made me that way, with a smile, knowing exactly what she had stolen. In doing so, Mother unwittingly taught me that it was always better to leave than to be left behind. Better to be what others need, cater to their emotions, give them what they want, than focus on what I actually needed myself. And now? Now I didn’t need what most people need. I worked that all out, cultivating it like a callus, training myself to be a predator, like a great white shark. Singular focus. They eat, fuck and sleep? Well, me fucking too. Get to the top of that food chain and stay there. Stay alive.
Of course I would have liked something different, but it was never going to happen and I don’t dream for anything that I can’t make come true. Not anymore.
So I intended to take my job of keeping Collin happy very seriously, which would prove difficult because his libido took a real leap off a cliff after the honeymoon. Don’t get me wrong, our sex life was never raucous, but it was certainly consistent, and his sudden disinterest was baffling, particularly when we really upped the ante in the Maldives. We had been screwing constantly. It was the happiest I’d ever seen him. Worlds away from his dull family, his dull job, his dull friends. It was all Bea, all the time, for three full weeks, and he couldn’t get enough of me. Hell, maybe I was just the littlest bit happy, too. A honeymoon has that effect on people. Everyone you encounter is just so thrilled for you, it’s contagious. Little treats and surprises everywhere you go. It’s their pleasure! Congratulations! Such a beautiful couple! Beautiful weather, beautiful places, beautiful food, beautiful drinks. It’s just all so goddamn beautiful. No, I didn’t love Collin, but the feeling of being there with him made me imagine what it would be like with someone I did love. Someone I could love, had my life gone a different way. What a fairy tale, but if not in the Maldives, where else could you fantasize about fairy tales?
