The Bucket List, page 15
The next morning I wake up with a swarm of butterflies in my stomach. I have no idea what today will bring, and I'm kind of looking forward to it. I make myself a cup of coffee and some scrambled eggs, and I sit at the breakfast table staring out over the ocean. I can only imagine what Monica is thinking right now as she looks down on the situation.
She would have such good advice, probably wrong but good. She would tell me to jump headfirst into this opportunity and see where it goes. She was never one to take things slowly. She was willing to explore any opportunity that came her way, whether it was a relationship, a job, or just some adventurous thing she had never done before.
Every time Levi calls me Jilly, I feel Monica standing close by.
I'm still in my bathrobe when I hear somebody knock at the front door. I wasn't expecting Levi to get here this soon, and he can't see me like this. I'm not one of those women who looks great in the morning like you see on TV. I need makeup. I need a hairbrush. There are things that must be done to make me look presentable to the world.
I run over to the front door and look out the peephole, thankful to see Lila standing there. She's holding a white paper bag, full of pastries no doubt. She has fallen in love with a local bakery and keeps bringing muffins over.
"What are you doing here?" I ask as I open the door. It's not the best way to greet somebody.
She furrows her eyebrows and tilts her head to the side. "What do you mean? We made plans to work on the garden today.”
It takes me a moment to recollect that I did, in fact, set a time to work on the garden with her today. Now I'm in a pickle. I'm not sending Lila all the way back home, and I'm definitely not canceling on Levi.
"Of course. Come on in. I'm not good early in the morning." Let's hope she doesn't remember that I used to work a lot of breakfast shifts at the restaurant. I swear, I’ve told this woman everything about my life. It's a wonder she still comes around.
Lila walks in the kitchen and sets the bag on the counter. She walks over to the coffee pot, and pours herself a cup. It's apparent she's become very comfortable at the beach house, so I think I'll be seeing a lot of her there in the future.
"What's up with you this morning? You're not even dressed."
"We're just working in the garden. Did you expect I was going to put on an evening gown?"
She leans against the counter and crosses her arms. "Is this about that police ride along? How did that go?"
I bite my lip and shake my head. "It was… very surprising." Before I can tell her the crazy story, I need a cup of coffee. More like a bowl of coffee. I pour myself a cup, add all the cream and sugar that will fit, and I go sit at the breakfast table. It won't be long before Levi will come over, so I have to tell her the short version of the story.
“Really? What happened?”
“When I got in the car, it was Levi.”
She looks at me for a long moment like she can’t process what I’m saying. “Wait. The bar guy? The kiss guy?”
“One and the same.”
"He was the police officer? Did he know you were coming?"
I shake my head. "Not at all. They told me I was going to ride with an officer named Ace. It turns out that's his nickname in the police force."
"I kind of dig it."
"Anyway. We went through a bunch of mundane traffic stops, and then it was time for him to have his dinner break. We went to this little diner, and after we ordered I went to the bathroom."
"I hope the story is going to get more interesting soon," Lila says, pretending she's falling asleep.
"When I came out of the bathroom, I heard a bunch of commotion. The bathroom was in this little hallway behind a swinging door with a window. I looked through the window and saw that a masked man was holding everybody at gunpoint. Including Levi."
Her mouth drops open. "What?"
“I’d left my phone on the table, so I had no way to call for help, and there was no exit.”
“This is giving me anxiety.”
“So I did the only thing I knew to do.”
“Which was?”
“I went into the supply closet and grabbed a heavy, old vacuum cleaner and some cleaning spray.”
“Because you felt a sudden urge to clean?”
I roll my eyes. “No, silly. I felt a sudden urge to be brave. I ran out of the room, hit the guy in the back of the legs, knocked him to the ground, and sprayed him in the face. That gave Levi time to run over and take his gun.”
“You’re making this up, right?”
“Why would I make this up?”
“Do you realize how insane that sounds? You, the anxious woman who was terrified to do her friend’s bucket list, ran out and attacked a man pointing a gun? With a vacuum cleaner?”
I sit there for a moment and take in her words. I think back to that salsa class and how anxious I was, and now it seems so trivial and silly. Maybe Monica was on to something when she forced me into this crazy scheme.
“I guess it is pretty amazing. Maybe a person can change.”
“What I really want to know is what happened with Levi,” Lila says, grinning.
“Well… He insisted on bringing me home, so I left my car at the station. We ended up talking all night, watching a movie, and falling asleep on the sofa.”
Her eyes get bigger. “Really?”
“Get your mind out of the gutter. It was perfectly chaste. He was a gentleman. I was surprised at how shaken up he was over it.”
“Maybe he has feelings for you.”
I smile slightly. “Honestly, I think he might.”
“And how do you feel?”
“I’m not totally sure. This has been a whirlwind, the last forty-eight hours. I have something else to tell you.”
“What?”
“Levi is coming over today to help with the garden.”
“Oh, my gosh! He’s totally into you!”
I roll my eyes and walk over to the sink, rinsing out my mug. “You’re so dramatic.”
“A man does not get up early in the morning to come dig in your garden unless he’s interested.”
“I need to go get dressed. Can you answer the door if he shows up?”
“Nope,” she says, standing up and grabbing her purse.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m not interrupting this love fest. No way.”
“You drove over an hour to get here!” At this point, I’m chasing her to the door.
She turns around and looks at me. “He wants to spend time with you, Jill. Let the man have his moment.”
“Lila…” As she opens the door, the earth stops turning. On the porch stands a fresh shaven Levi holding two coffee drinks. He’s wearing khaki shorts, hiking shoes, and a pale sea foam green golf shirt.
And I’m wearing my ratty white bathrobe, my hair is in a messy bun on top of my head, and there’s not a stitch of makeup on my face. There’s probably still crust in the corners of my eyes.
Today’s headline - “Relationship ends before it starts”.
CHAPTER 14
Well, it was good while it lasted. I don't even know if it would've ever turned into anything, but now that he has seen me looking like an ogre, there's very little chance that Levi is going to want to date me.
"Oh my gosh," I say, hiding behind the front door. I stick my hand out so he can still see some part of my body to know I'm there. Maybe I'll do a puppet show for him.
"Good morning," he says, amusement in his voice.
"Hi. I'm Lila." Lila is pretty. Lila is single. Maybe I should just shut the door and let nature take its course.
"Nice to meet you. I didn't mean to interrupt. I got here a little earlier than expected, but I didn't want the coffee to get cold."
"No, it's fine. Thanks for coming." I'm still hiding behind the door, and I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm crazy now. Well, let's be real, he probably thought that before.
"Hey, Jill? Why are you hiding behind the door?" he asks me.
"I think you know. I wasn't expecting you so soon, and I don't look my best."
"You look fine. Come out."
"No." I can hear Lila laughing.
"So, I'm just thinking it's going to be a little difficult to drink this coffee and work on the garden if you are hiding behind your front door."
"Well, technically it's Monica's front door."
"The coffee is getting cold."
"I like iced coffee, too."
Lila yanks the door away from me. She pulls my arm so that I'm standing front and center again. I might as well just take all my clothes off because I would feel just as exposed.
"Come on in," I say, forcing a smile. Lila giggles down the stairs toward her car. She turns around one more time and waves at me, stifling laughter.
Levi comes inside, and I point toward the kitchen.
"I got you the coffee drink with the most cream and sugar."
"Oh, you know me so well. Listen, I'm just going to go get changed really quickly, and I'll be right back."
Before he can say anything else, I run down the hallway into the bedroom and shut the door. I throw on a pair of shorts, a T-shirt, and slide on the sneakers I've been wearing in the garden. I pull my hair out of the bun, run a brush through it and decide a ponytail is the best way to go. I quickly put on a little makeup with some lip gloss, and I arrive back in the kitchen. The good thing about not being an overly girly girl is that I can get ready in about ten minutes flat.
"I like this outfit, but I thought the robe really added a nice touch," he says, laughing. He's leisurely sitting at the breakfast table, and I flashback to when I was first married. Those early years with Jesse were so wonderful. We'd have breakfast together every morning before he went off to work, and those are some of my fondest memories. Annie and I making a big mess, and me and my new husband sitting there enjoying our morning coffee.
"I didn't want to scare my new neighbors. Well, potential new neighbors."
"You know, you've pretty much done the entire bucket list. This is going to be your house. Why can't you just accept that?"
I sit down across from him and take a sip of my coffee. It's perfect. "I guess it's just really hard for me to believe that I'm going to own a place like this. I could've never bought something like this if I saved my entire life.
"Your friend wanted you to have it. She thought you deserved it, and I do too."
"Thank you. How are you feeling today? About the incident?"
"I'm better. You know, I normally don't let things like that get to me. It's not the first time somebody has pointed a gun at me. I just wasn't expecting to feel how I felt about you being involved."
"I don't know how I feel about it either. I've never done something so crazy and brave. I felt like one of those mothers who lifted a car off her baby."
"Do you ever wonder how those babies get under cars in the first place?"
I laugh so hard I almost spit my coffee across the table. "That's a good question."
"So, are you ready to work on the garden today?
"I am. The judging team is supposed to come out in four days. I still have a lot of work to do."
"We still have a lot of work to do."
"You don't have to help me."
"I do. You might have even saved my life."
"I don't expect to be repaid for that, Levi."
"Okay, then let me just admit that I'm here because I'd like to spend more time with you."
Great. My face is turning red again. That stupid Scottish heritage always gives me away.
"Oh."
"Does that make you feel uncomfortable?"
“No.” My brain is yelling yes.
"Listen, I'm not trying to push you into anything. I'm just having a lot of fun getting to know you, and it's been a long time since I could say that about somebody."
"I get it. I feel the same way. It's just a little scary."
He nods. "We’ll just take it slow. Who knows what will happen? Maybe we will just end up being great friends."
"Maybe so." A part of me hopes that isn't true. For the first time in many years, I feel something for a man. I want him to want me. This is foreign territory.
“Well, shall we get to it?”
“Definitely. It’s only going to get hotter out there as the day goes on.”
We spend the next couple of hours puttering around in the garden like an old married couple. It's comfortable yet different. There is no awkwardness though, which was is surprising.
When it finally gets too hot to do anything more, we decide to take a lunch break. The garden is almost done, anyway. Levi is very skilled in that area. It looks beautiful, and I think it will be a genuine contender for the contest.
"I'm sweating like a sinner in church!" I say as we walk into the house. Levi lets out a big laugh.
"I don't think I've heard that one before."
"My grandmother used to say it all the time."
"She must've been quite a character."
I grab two bottles of water out of the refrigerator and slide one over to him. I don't have any food in the house, but I made sure to have plenty of water.
"She was. She actually reminded me a lot of Monica. Always a risk taker. Her husband died when she was young, and she never remarried. She just traveled the world meeting new people and having a good time. I always wanted to grow up to be like her, but as you can see that did not happen."
"You still have time. You're not even fifty years old yet."
"After my husband died, I never thought I would be single for fifteen years. Maybe I'll be like my grandmother and just be single forever."
"Is that what you want?"
I sit there for a moment and really think about the question. I'm not even sure what I want anymore. This whole bucket list thing has jumbled up my brain in a way I couldn't have expected. I feel like I'm two different people. There's the part of me that's anxious, and then there's a part of me that wants to break free. Currently, they are fighting each other in some kind of cage match.
"No. I don't want that. I didn't realize how lonely I was until my daughter went off to college. The last four years have been the worst. At least when she was home I had something to focus on, somebody to care for. With every passing day, she needs me a little less."
"I can't say I understand that since I've never had kids, but I don't think we should be alone. I don't think we're meant for that."
“Me and you?”
He chuckles. "No. Human beings. I don't think we're solitary creatures."
"I always thought I was fine by myself until I started going on these adventures and seeing what life really had to offer. I think I was just sort of stuck in my rut and barely living. I still get scared every time I do one of these bucket list items but I feel a little less anxious each time. I think Monica would be really impressed with how I've done."
He smiles. "I think she would too. And I'm glad that you're giving yourself credit for that. So, you said you had a couple of items left? What are they?"
"Well, one is to go camping which sounds just dreadful to me."
"I love camping! Have you ever been?"
"Once as a kid. My grandparents took us, and we stayed in a tent. I got eaten up by mosquitoes, and I had to use the bathroom outside. It was not pleasant."
"Camping is one of my favorite things to do. I wish I had more time for it.”
"My daughter says we need to do it up in the mountains. That sounds like a great way to get eaten by a bear to me."
"You just have to follow certain rules if you come across a bear."
"Like don't go camping in the mountains so that you don't come across a bear?"
Levi laughs. "No. If you see a bear, the first thing you need to do is stay calm and don't make any sudden movements. Definitely don't run away because that might cause the bear to chase you. And believe it or not, they run pretty fast."
"Great. So bears are also track stars. Noted."
"You can also make yourself look bigger by standing up on your tiptoes or raising your arms up above your head."
"You just told me not to make any sudden movements. I think those two statements conflict."
"You want to speak to the bear in a very calm and firm voice. You want to let it know you're human and that you're not a threat."
"So I'm supposed to have a conversation with the bear?"
"No, but you do need to speak up. And then you back away slowly but never turn your back on the bear. You can also bring bear spray with you if you had to use it."
"See, all of that sounds terrifying to me.”
“The likelihood of seeing a bear is pretty small. Black bears are generally not even aggressive toward humans unless they feel threatened.”
"Before I lose my appetite, why don't we go grab some lunch? I mean, if you have time?"
"I have time. But let's not go to the diner," Levi says, laughing.
I can’t believe how much I’ve enjoyed hanging out with Levi these last couple of days. We worked on the garden, had lunch twice, and even met up on one of his breaks for coffee. I’m pretty smitten, and I never thought I would say that about him.
He’s actually very smart and funny. When I met him in the bar that night, neither of us was in a good place. Now that I’ve gotten to know him, I really like him, and that’s scary.
Even though I kissed him at the reunion - and what a glorious memory that is - he hasn’t made a move at all. Maybe we’re in the friend zone already, and I’m just so rusty I don’t know it.
Lila says he’s interested in me, but I just don’t know. I was raised to wait for the man to make a move, but I’m afraid I’ll be filling out an application for the nursing home before he makes a move.
"You're going to do what?" Lila is staring at me like I just said I'm going to run for President of the United States.
"I'm going to ask Levi to go camping with me and Annie."
"Are you sure? That doesn't seem like something you would normally do."
I laugh. "You haven't known me all that long."
