Broken Falcon, page 22
After last night, she’d have been content to just feel him inside her, but he had other plans and slid from her, then nudged her to her stomach, lifting her hips so she was on her knees, before he filled her again.
He wrapped an arm around her and stroked her clit as he slid within her. He was no longer slow and gentle; now his thrusts were fast and feverish, bringing her to a rapid edge.
Thankfully, he was right there with her as she tumbled over the precipice. She let out a loud, impossible-to-contain shriek. The kind of yell that usually only the vibrator triggered when conditions were just right.
She collapsed on the bed, and he was on top of her, his hard muscled body slick with sweat.
“Damn,” she panted. “You are good at mornings.”
“Am I?” She could hear the laughter in his voice.
He rolled from her back, sliding from inside her as he did so, and she turned to face him. She smiled. “You’re fishing for compliments now.”
“But haven’t I earned them?”
She chuckled. “Yes. Yes, you have.” She faced the ceiling. “Whew. Talk about rise and shine.”
He let out a bark of laughter.
She rolled to face him again. “I really like you, Chase Johnston.”
His face turned serious as he stared into her eyes. He cleared his throat and said, “I’m a mess, Eden. And I know this is probably just a fling for you, but I’m going to just say it now. I want more than just today.”
She kissed him as a dizzying heat spread through her. Now it was her turn to feel the prickle of happy tears. “This isn’t just a fling for me.”
“Really? I mean it when I say I’m a mess. Did you see how many pints of ice cream I bought? My logic skills are for shit.”
“Chase, no man should ever be rejected for buying too much ice cream when commanded to buy ice cream.” She stroked the stubble on his jaw. God. She’d missed morning stubble.
No. She’d never thought about morning stubble before. But on Chase, it was so damn hot, it made her regret all the previous days she didn’t wake up to his morning stubble.
“Damn. You look like you made a deal with an evil genie to be this hot in the morning, all rumpled and sated.”
“Evil genie?” he asked.
“Yeah. Or some other supernatural being. Your handsomeness breaks the laws of physics.”
He laughed, his face relaxed and happy and her heart melted. He kissed her nose. “You’re adorable. And wildly hot yourself. And I think I’m the luckiest man alive. Except this condom is driving me to insanity. I need to clean up.”
She grabbed his hand before he left the bed. “Wait. We just agreed this was more than a fling, right?”
He nodded.
“I’ve got the five-year implant. Aside from being excellent birth control, it made my periods nonexistent, which, for a camgirl…”
He nodded. “After…what happened to me, I got tested for everything. I’m clean. And it’s been more than a year.”
She smiled. “It’s been more than two years for me, and I’m clean. So. If you want, we can skip the condom next time. But only if you’re comfortable with that.”
He leaned down and kissed her, then whispered, “My one regret is we just fucked, so I’m going to need a few minutes’ recovery time.”
She laughed. “Only a few?”
“I’m only twenty-seven. And I’ve got lots to make up for. Ten minutes tops.”
She grinned. “I’ll set a timer.”
He impressed her by beating her timer by two minutes.
Chapter Twenty-Five
In the early afternoon, they found themselves lying on her couch, Eden tucked in one corner and Chase in the other, her feet on his lap as he massaged them simply because he couldn’t stop touching her. They were both sated in a way he’d never imagined. He was pretty sure he’d broken some records for number of times they’d had sex since he’d entered her apartment last night.
Done for the time being, they were lounging and watching nature shows on her big flat-screen TV with the sound off. He liked that they didn’t need to talk. They could just be. But at the same time, the talking was good too. He wasn’t stuttering. He was fully himself, and that was who she wanted.
“I’ve never had this,” he said softly. “This kind of intimacy.”
She smiled and shifted her foot to caress his cock with the arch. Not to stimulate, just a pleasuring stroke.
He never imagined he’d be able to let someone freely touch his body again, but he trusted her.
He closed his eyes and remembered the weekends with Parks in his remote cabin. When she’d used infrasound to trigger pleasure in his body that forced him to be erect. Eden knew he’d been abused, but not the extent of it. And this feeling inside him today was the antithesis of what Parks had done.
He cleared his throat, surprised that he wanted to share these thoughts with her. But he wanted her to know exactly what this meant to him. “One weekend a month for…two years, I think? I was forced to perform sexually. She—my abuser—used my body’s response to certain infrasound frequencies to stimulate me and make me compliant. She liked to pretend we were lovers like this, sharing a romantic weekend getaway.” He met Eden’s gaze, seeing the compassion in her eyes. There was something else there too, and it warmed his heart.
What he didn’t see was pity, thank goodness.
She crawled across the sofa and straddled him. She placed her hands on either side of his neck and cupped the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair as she held his gaze.
That she didn’t flinch or look away—when she could use an embrace to hide from him—meant everything.
He smiled. He was totally falling in love with this woman. There was no other word for it. “I never gave her what she wanted. I never played her game. I wasn’t able to resist the sex—she was in complete control of my mind and body—but I didn’t give her the affection she craved. So when I say I’ve never had this before, it has a different meaning.”
He touched her cheek, once again confirming this moment was real. “I never had the freedom to do this. To give and take as I pleased. To enjoy another person’s body and allow them to enjoy mine. Everything about last night and today feels like a miracle. Like my long nightmare is over. And it’s all you. Because you’re amazing.”
A tear spilled down her cheek, and she leaned forward, pressing her forehead to his. “I’m so happy to be sharing this with you. That you trust me with your body and your pain.”
He cupped her face and brought his mouth to hers. His kiss was deep. She tasted like ice cream and smelled like sex. Like him.
He couldn’t get enough of this. Of her.
The long kiss ended, and she stretched out on the couch next to him. She pressed her head to his chest, and he held her. There was nothing else that needed to be said.
He drifted off to sleep at some point. Or maybe it wasn’t quite sleep as he found himself in a lucid dream.
His brain worked the problem of Penny’s disappearance. But then, had she really disappeared? They’d never known where she lived to begin with, and the coffee shop she worked at was closed for repairs. He doubted she’d been at CamDames on Thursday at all. She could have called Eden from anywhere. Had Mothman been able to get the ping locations for her phone on Thursday? That question might be better suited to Lee Scott, who specialized in cellular security.
But Lee didn’t know about what Chase was doing. They didn’t know each other well, as Chase had avoided the inner circle of friends that included his boss, Keith, a few other senior Raptor operatives, and extended to Lee.
Chase had never felt comfortable around that group, and it was only made worse after what he’d done at Ian and Cressida’s wedding.
He’d been doing Parks’s bidding, but still, he’d been the one to take the photo. The one who’d set the bomb under the car.
The one who was ultimately behind the destruction of a structure on Rav’s estate.
It was why he remained terrified of losing time again. He wasn’t sure what he was capable of. If he could hurt his friends, he could hurt anyone.
Even Eden.
He jolted awake.
Eden stirred against him. She’d drifted off to sleep too.
“You okay?” she asked.
He cleared his throat, which had gone dry at the thought of him hurting her.
He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. He’d resisted hurting Isabel—twice.
If he could resist hurting a friend, surely he could resist harming the woman he was in love with?
The woman who made him feel like maybe someday he could be whole again.
“I’m fine,” he lied.
“It’s okay if you aren’t fine. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I think I’m falling in love with you.” The words were out of his mouth before he had a chance to stop them. Dammit. It was too soon for such a declaration.
But instead of pushing away from him and bolting for an exit, she leaned into him. Her lips brushed over his, and she said, “I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you too.”
Tears sprang from his eyes. It was instant. Like a spigot. One second, his eyes were dry, and the next, overflowing.
He could feel this moment in all its glory. It was a cloudless warm breeze on a tropical beach. Endless blue sky and warm wind.
He kissed her tenderly. Slowly. Eventually, they found themselves on the rug before the fireplace, and he made love to her in the firelight, watching her face as he made her come.
He rolled over so she was on top of him, and she sat up, straddling him. He cupped her breasts, and she let out a groan, followed by the words, “I love you.”
“I love you too,” he said as he pitched over the precipice, his body pulsing with orgasm.
She collapsed on top of him and let out a soft laugh. “Okay, I was sure there was no way you’d have another orgasm today.”
He laughed too. “Frankly, I’m also shocked.” He stroked her hair. So soft. Another sensual pleasure against his skin. “Apparently, there’s no limit to how much you turn me on.”
She ran her hand over his chest. “Same.”
Her phone, which sat on the coffee table, vibrated, making soft noise as it clattered on the wood surface.
She rolled away from his body and picked up the phone. Her face darkened with anger, and she set the phone down. Was her hand trembling?
“What’s going on?” he asked.
She let out a heavy sigh and nodded toward her phone. “The guy who’s the reason my site is down just texted me to be at his place in an hour.”
“What? Why? I thought you said the site was down due to technical difficulties?”
She wrinkled her nose. “When we talked on the phone, I didn’t want to get into it because, well, I wasn’t sure how I felt about you. Plus, I was on the Metro.”
He couldn’t help but smile. She’d just told him how she felt as he made her come, so he was feeling pretty solid with her now.
“Will you tell me now?”
“Of course. Tobias is a fellow grad student—”
“Grad student?”
“Yeah. In my department—”
“I didn’t know you were in grad school.”
“Really? I…goodness, we’ve never talked about school? I guess it’s because I’m taking the semester off. I didn’t have money for tuition after buying this place and getting my own site up and running. I’m working as a research assistant this semester, which brings in a little money and keeps me connected to the department.”
“So, you have three jobs.” No wonder she always worked nights online and midday at the coffee shop. She must be exhausted.
She nodded. “Yesterday I was at the lab, and Tobias came in. He’s always hit on me and I’ve always been firm in my no, but yesterday, he made sure I was alone and snuck up on me. He found my site a few days ago, apparently. He told me that if I didn’t have sex with him, he’d tell my advisor about Desiree.”
Chase reared back. “What the fuck?” Black rage filled him. He sprang to his feet and began pacing. “I want his full name.”
Her eyes widened. “I’ll deal with him.”
He took a deep breath. He needed to get control of himself. He could tell he was scaring her.
He took another slow breath. In and out. The rage receded enough for coherent thought. “Mothman will need his name. It might be no coincidence he found your site now, when you’re a target.”
Because of me. She’s a target because of me.
“Oh. Right.”
Chase picked up his phone and started a text to Mothman. “Full name?”
“Tobias Redford.”
“Do you have a phone number or address for him?”
She went to the office nook and woke her computer, then rattled off the number, which he typed into the text to Mothman.
Text sent, he approached her from behind and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry I frightened you.”
She turned in his arms and hugged him. “It’s okay, but this is something I’m going to have to figure out how to handle myself.” She let out a nervous laugh. “Although I did tell him about you when he threatened me.”
He smiled at that. Even when she’d been upset with him, she’d invoked him for protection. “I’m glad.” He released her and stepped back. “So how big a threat is this to your schooling? What you do on your own time is your business.”
“That’s true, except in my field, it could make it hard for me to do my practicums. They could deny me the work because of the possibility I might find myself faced with an online client.” She cleared her throat. “Like you, when you walked into the coffee shop. There’s a power dynamic that would mess with the study in that situation. It’s one of the reasons why I went solo. To block all IP addresses in the area.”
Chase’s brain was reeling. How did he not know any of this? Labs and practicums? He’d known she was smart; it shouldn’t surprise him she was a scientist.
“What are you studying?”
“Oh!” She laughed. “I’m telling this all backwards. I’m working on a master’s degree now, but my eventual goal is a psychology doctorate. It’s a P-S-Y-D, or rather, PsyD, not a PhD, because I want to do clinical work, not research.”
Chase felt the bottom drop out of his world. He released her and stepped back. His gaze scanned the packed bookshelves in her small office. Psychology book after psychology book. Textbooks. Case studies. Theory. Anatomy of the human brain. Books on neuropsychology. More on cognitive neuropsychology.
Cognitive neuropsychology. Parks’s specialty.
His vision tunneled. “Y-you are s-s-studying c-c-c-ognitive neuropsy-sy-chology?”
“I’ve taken classes. I might specialize there. I don’t know. Chase—what’s going on? What’s wrong?”
“I need to go.”
He was in the pantry, heading to the interior stairs, when he realized he was naked.
Shit.
He returned to the living room, picked up his jeans from the floor, and tugged them on. Where was his shirt?
Bedroom. He hadn’t donned it since last night.
He vaguely heard Eden asking him why he was leaving, her voice getting higher and higher pitched.
He didn’t look at her. Couldn’t.
Had she been studying him? Did she have a profile of him in her files? Was she studying all her clients?
Was that why she did it? To brain fuck people two ways instead of just one with therapy?
He found his shirt and boots and socks. The underwear he’d doffed last night and hadn’t bothered with again. Phone. Wallet. Keys.
He had everything.
She followed him down the stairs. She was crying now.
He took comfort in the numbness that used to plague him. Nimbostratus clouds sheeted his mind, blocking the sun.
He yanked open the door to the garage, passing the wall he hadn’t fucked her against and never would.
He vaguely heard the alarm beep, and she keyed it off. He hit the button to raise the garage door.
“Chase, what did I do? Why are you leaving?”
He paused by the door to his SUV. He probably owed her some sort of explanation. He wasn’t sure, his brain too fogged for logic. She should have told him. He kept coming back to that.
She hadn’t told him. On purpose.
She kept it from him. Who didn’t tell the man they were sleeping with the major fact that they were in graduate school?
Was she working for Parks? Had she been the one to deliver Parks’s letter to him?
“Please, Chase. I-I love you.”
It sounded hokey now. Who said I love you after less than twenty-four hours of fucking?
He closed his eyes. He did. He had. He’d even said it first. Fuck. Was he screwing this up?
Was he the one in the wrong here?
He had no idea. No way to process or think because his brain was hopelessly broken. He met Eden’s gaze. “My abuser, the woman who fucked me repeatedly against my will and pretended we were on romantic weekends like I thought this was, the person who brainwashed and controlled me, who made me do terrible things to my friends, the woman who tried to get me to kill for her…that woman was my shrink, Dr. Elizabeth Parks.”
Her eyes widened. If she’d known that already, she was a good actress.
Was it possible she hadn’t known?
Did it even matter? No one, no one would ever dig in his brain again. And there was no way a woman who was studying to be a psychotherapist or cognitive neuroscientist wasn’t digging in his mind with every conversation they’d had.
She’d been studying him from the start. Like he was some sort of fucking lab rat.
“Goodbye, Eden.” He climbed in his Raptor SUV and backed out of the garage.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Eden watched the SUV disappear as it turned the corner at the end of her block. She was stunned. Completely flattened by the last…five minutes?
In a mere five minutes, the most perfect day of her life had been distorted by funhouse mirrors. Everything looked different now. Grotesque.
