An Open Lock, page 7
“You’re innocent, but daring. Timid, but bold. Inexperienced, but passionate. A series of contradictions.”
I swallow thickly because I feel like I’m being insulted and complimented at the same time and I’m not sure what my reaction to that should be.
“I want you,” he tells me with conviction. Once again, it feels like he has made a decision and I’m expected to go with the flow.
“I told you, you can’t have me,” I remind him with a sigh, pulling the duvet off the floor to cover myself with because I’m suddenly feeling very exposed and he still has his trousers and vest on.
“I just did,” he grins.
I sigh pointedly and roll over to face him, mirroring his position my propping myself up on my elbow.
“E, this can’t happen again,” I tell him earnestly.
“If you don’t want it to happen then why are we here?” E returns, his eyes like laser scanners, I can almost feel him working his way into my head.
“Because you’re insanely attractive and I like to come,” I retort, blushing because I have to, but I don’t like the fact that he thinks I’m shy and timid.
“I see,” he murmurs. “I’ve done the family thing. I’m not interested in getting into a real relationship,” he tells me softly, running his fingers through the tips of my hair.
Interesting, has he got an ex-wife and kids somewhere? How old is he anyway?
“I want sex. Nothing more, nothing less,” he confesses bluntly.
I like sex with E. I don’t like anything else with him, like the talking, the attitude, and the feeling that I have no privacy around him.
“You’re thinking,” he decides, rubbing his thumb over the crease between my brows. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I don’t understand you,” I frown with a sigh of acceptance.
“There aren’t many who do,” he grins like he’s proud of that fact. “You don’t need to understand me to fuck me.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I smack his arm for being crude. “I don’t understand why somebody like you wants somebody like me like that.”
“What do you mean?” He demands and I shrink back slightly because he looks angry.
“Nothing,” I take it back quickly. “So you want just sex? With me?”
He nods slowly. “You broke up with your ex recently?”
I frown because it’s none of his business, but I nod because E is a man who likes his questions answered.
“Is he going to be a problem?” He asks seriously.
“No,” I sigh. “Stanley isn’t like that.”
“Stanley,” E chuckles. “You don’t seem exactly sure of what you want right now.”
“That’s because I’m not,” I sigh. I want to roll into him and have him hold me, but, based on what he wants from me, I don’t think that would go down well.
“Olivia, I can tell you’re inexperienced in bed,” E tells me, but his words are gentle, they’re words of understanding not mockery. “But I can also tell that you want more. When I’m inside you, you’re alive, you’re a vixen. There is so much I can teach you. Your sexual self is attractive to me in a very crucial way. I need what you have to give.”
I chew my lip anxiously. “I haven’t even seen you naked yet.”
“Does that matter?” He raises an eyebrow in amusement. “Doesn’t seem to effect the way you come for me.”
I pull the duvet closer around me.
E smirks. “I’m going to run you a bath and then I’m going to leave. Come up to my flat at ten tonight and I’ll talk you through exactly what I want. You can spend some time thinking through my offer while you have a soak.” He presses a gentle kiss to my lips before he rolls elegantly off the bed. He grabs his shirt and belt before disappearing into the room next to mine. He doesn’t even ask which room is the bathroom. Lucky guess.
When he comes back, he leans against the door to my room. “I want you, Olivia, and I always get what I want. Remember that.”
“Spoilt,” I grumble to myself as I hear him leave the flat, leaving me naked, sated, and thoroughly confused on my bed.
I lay there a little longer, listening to the sound of the bathtub filling. It’s Friday night so Steph probably won’t be back until the wee hours of the morning. It’s typical because I sort of need to talk this over with someone.
I can hardly talk to Stanley about this and Kev is wonderful, but I’m not willing to discuss my sex life with him. I wish I knew Tamara a little better, I suspect she’d be an excellent source of advice.
Hours ago, I was furious at E for dragging me around at his whim, and yet now I’m considering a sex only relationship. Am I insane?
Everything about this man annoys me, except for his touch. When I broke up with Stanley, I accepted that I wanted more. I wanted the soul moving sex I’d read about, the type I experience with E. With the breakup being so fresh, I’m not ready to meet the man who could tick all the boxes. Maybe I can just enjoy the sex part until I know exactly what my tickable boxes are.
Dear god, I groan internally, plunging my head beneath the warm bubbly water. Am I really considering being a fuck buddy to Mr bumpy bed? Perhaps I am, but not without a few precursors. He wants me to think about this? Well, I’ve thought about it and I’m not about to have sex with a man I know nothing about. Not again at least. If he wants me to commit to this madness, he’s going to have to answer a few questions.
“Livvie!” Steph’s voice calls out as she stumbles into the flat. I can hear in her voice that she has been crying.
“In here!” I reply, rapidly rising from the bath and steadying myself because it makes me light headed. Grabbing my robe, I throw it around me just in time for a tear-stained Steph to storm into the room.
“What’s wrong?” I ask her with no small amount of concern.
She burbles something unintelligible whilst she cries. I can smell what I think is vodka on her breath. She’s crying and screaming to the point of hysteria and I’m not quite sure what to do.
“Come on,” I soothe, quickly throwing a towel around my head so I can guide her into the lounge to sit on the sofa.
As she curls up in the foetal position, I quickly put the kettle on and throw the duvet over her. When the tea is made, I slide in behind her on the large sofa and stroke her back gently.
“I saw him,” she sniffles.
I don’t need to ask who she saw, it must have been Kev.
“He was dancing and groping some fat brunette,” she wails as if the final word is some sort of curse word. I pretend not to be offended because she’s upset and quite possibly drunk. “He knew I was there, Livvie!”
“I’m sure that’s not true, Steph,” I soothe gently. “He was probably just trying to forget you.”
“He was doing it on purpose to hurt me!” She blubbers, shaking like a leaf.
“Oh, Steph,” I sigh in empathy because I know Kev is angry at her, and it’s quite possible he saw her and grabbed the nearest girl.
He has got the right to do whatever he wants with whoever he wants now he’s single, but it doesn’t mean he should rub it in Steph’s face.
“How come you were taking a bath?” She sniffles. “I told you the water cost too much for baths.”
“Sorry,” I cringe because I’d forgotten about that. “I forgot.”
“Well, you can pay the water bill this month then,” Steph snaps wiping her eyes with a tissue.
I sigh internally because we’re too old to be arguing over who pays the bills, but now isn’t the time to discuss it and everybody says things they don’t mean when they’re upset.
“You’re so inconsiderate sometimes,” she pouts. “I can barely afford the bills.”
“Steph!” I groan. “I didn’t even run the bath. Let it drop, I’m sorry, okay?”
“Oh so it just ran itself?” She bites back.
“No, E ran it as a matter of fact,” I grind back. “I know you’re upset, Steph, but don’t take it out on me.”
She blinks, her mouth slightly ajar – probably because she isn’t used to me answering back. I have my own problems tonight and I don’t mind being there for my friend, but not if she gets her claws out.
“Sorry, Livvie,” she apologises quietly, stretching out and yawning. “I didn’t mean it.”
“I know,” I sigh, rubbing her back again as she sits up. “And I’m sorry about Kev.”
She runs her long fingers and her manicured nails through her long blonde locks with a sniffle. “I hate him. I hate that I love him.”
“Oh, Steph,” I give her a small cuddle. “It’ll get easier.”
“Easy for you to say,” she pouts. “You don’t even seem upset about Stanley.”
I swallow thickly and wrap my arms around myself. The awful guilt returns because, although I do miss Stanley as a friend, I haven’t really missed our relationship since I left. I’ve jumped into bed with E – twice – and I’m considering doing it again. What’s wrong with me?
“I’m sleepy,” Steph yawns again, standing up on wobbly legs and wrapping the duvet around her. She sighs as I rise next to her and nestles close for a hug. “You’re a good friend, Olivia.”
I smile softly as I hug her. “I’ll bring you a glass of water, go get cosy.”
She shuffles away from me and manages a weak smile over her shoulder. I know how much she’s hurting. Kev and Steph were together on and off for so long and Steph placed so much of her self-worth on having an attractive boyfriend. She used him almost like an accessory sometimes and even though she took him for granted on occasion, I know she loved him in her own way.
Kev didn’t really mind being an accessory; Steph is beautiful and he got a lot out of their relationship as well. A huge part of me wishes they could make it work, but I really don’t think their relationship was healthy. They took too much and gave too little.
I don’t think my relationship with Stanley was like that. As if he can feel me thinking about him, my phone lights up with his name. I chuckle internally because Stanley would mock me for believing that he knew I was thinking about him. None of that farcical magic exists.
“Hello, Olivia,” he greets me cordially.
“Hi, Stanley,” I reply, trying to hide any hints of the mountain of guilt on my shoulders. “How are you?”
I sit down on the sofa, wrapping my robe tightly around myself and removing the towel that was draped around my hair.
“I’m great! How’s London?” He asks with interest.
“Busy,” I answer cautiously. I’m unsure whether to tell him that my new job isn’t great. If he knew that, would he ask me to come back?
“Figures,” he answers and I can almost see him nodding his head like he expected that answer.
“How’s Steph?” He asks, pretending he cares. He never really liked her.
“Catatonic,” I sigh, glancing sideways to her room and mentally reminding myself to take her some water although I suspect she’s already sleep because I can’t hear her crying anymore.
He hums, acknowledging my reply. “And Kevin?”
“I don’t kn-” I start to reply, but then somebody buzzes the doorbell at the front of our flat to get in.
I really hope it’s not one of E’s bed bumping buddies pressing the doorbell to get up to see him. I don’t want to knock on the door at ten a clock to find him wrapped around some strumpet.
“Olivia?” Stanley reminds me that I’m in the middle of the phone call.
“Somebody’s at the door.”
“Oh that’s fine,” he replies amicably. “I was only calling to tell you I bought an ereader. You were right – they’re fantastic.”
“Welcome to the twenty first century,” I giggle at him, making my way to the front door.
“Thanks,” he laughs. “Call me next weekend?”
“Sure,” I grin. “Thanks, Stanley.”
“Bye, Olivia,” he hangs up with a smile in his voice.
He didn’t say he missed me, he didn’t ask me to come back. If anything he sounded happier than normal. Somehow that alleviates my guilt a little. Doesn’t it?
Chapter 9
“Thank God you answered,” Kev sighs with relief as I open the door.
“What are you doing here?” I hug him briefly as he enters the building, slightly shocked to see him.
“Figured that’d be obvious, babe,” he calls over his shoulder as he strolls into the flat.
I follow him in, shaking my head because it isn’t a good idea for him to be here.
“Where is she?” He demands turning around and narrowing his eyes at me.
“Shh!” I hiss. “She’s asleep! Keep it down.”
He scoffs. “Silly bitch is sleeping it off, is she?”
“Kev!” I cross my arms and scowl at him. “If you’re going to talk like that you can leave. You shouldn’t be here anyway.”
“Fine,” he sighs with that boyish pout as he flops onto the sofa. “I only came to make sure you were okay.”
“Why wouldn't I be okay?” I ask in bewilderment as I join him on the sofa.
“Steph,” he raises an eyebrow in amusement. “We both know she's vicious when she's drunk or upset. You're her favourite punching bag.”
“I think you're exaggerating,” I answer with a frown.
“I don't think I am,” he scoffs. “You deserve better, babe.”
“Kev,” I sigh with exasperation. I don’t want to get caught in the middle of these two like a ragdoll torn between two squabbling children. I love them both and I hate the situation.
“Olivia,” he grins. “You're in a dressing gown.”
Subtle topic change, I roll my eyes, but I appreciate that he did as he was told.
“Well I was trying to have a bath and get ready before your ex-girlfriend turned up all upset because of you.”
“Because of me? I'm the one that got a pint poured over him and she's the one who's upset?”
“She poured a pint over you?” I chuckle in amusement, finally noticing that he has wet hair. He must have gone home and showered considering he smells of aftershave and not lager.
“It's not funny!” He wraps an arm round my neck. “I was about to pull!”
“And you don't think that's why she did it? You haven't long broken up, Kev. It must hurt to see you with someone else.”
“I didn't know she was there,” he replies with a sigh and I know he's telling the truth by the expression on his face. “But don't kid yourself. You know she doesn't care; she just likes being the centre of attention.”
I smack his stomach with the back of my hand. “Enough.”
“Fine,” he grins that boyish smile that I need to become immune to. “I miss hanging out with you.”
“Me too,” I sigh. “But it has to be this way for a while until Steph moves on.”
“She’s already moved on,” he rolls his eyes. “I've only seen you twice since you moved here. It’s not fair.”
“That reminds me,” I grin, fetching my purse. “Here's your money back.”
“For what?” He accepts the wad of notes, an adorably confused furrow on his brow.
“For the other night.”
“Don't worry about it,” he tries to hand it back.
“Seriously,” I shake my head. “I got it back off the bouncer before I left.”
“How… wait did you say you were getting ready to go somewhere?” He tugs at my dressing gown, finally latching on to the piece of information I wish he’d ignored.
“Yeah, but I have time yet, don't worry,” I blush. I have missed hanging out with Kev, but I'm not sure I want him to know exactly where I'm going and why I'm going there. He's always been quite protective of me.
“Where?” His eyes light up with interest.
“None of your business,” I cross my arms defiantly.
“Are you going out?” He teases, he knows I hate night clubs and the like.
“No,” I nudge him, climbing off the sofa to get my moisturising cream from the bathroom.
“Tell me!” He demands as I sit back down next to him and begin moisturising my arms and legs.
“Nosey, nosey, cheeky, cheeky,” I tease him idly, concentrating on rubbing the sweet smelling moisture into my skin.
“I can help you with that if you like,” Kev offers, wiggling his eyebrows.
“Gross,” I answer, wrinkling my nose.
“So, I'm gross am I?” He feigns offence.
I chuckle because he knows just how attractive he is and he has done since we were fourteen and he started getting noticed on various sports teams.
“Is that why you turned me down for the year eleven ball?” He clutches his heart pretending to be hurt, but we both know differently.
“You never asked me to the ball,” I shake my head in amusement. “You went with Steph.”
“Because you said no!” He pokes my waist.
“I would have remembered that, Kevin,” I reprimand him. “Besides if you did ask it would have been out of sympathy.”
“What?” He frowns, not joking anymore.
“I know I was a nerd, it's cool, Kev,” I grin, punching him in the arm playfully. “Now, can I go put some undies on? Because I'm not comfortable being commando around you.”
“I can help you put them on?” He offers as I leave the room.
“Lay off, Kev. You're not funny,” I shake my head chuckling as I remember that I had a crush on Kevin when I was a teenager. I quashed all that when he and Steph got together and the idea is preposterous to me now. He’s far too much of a good friend to fall into the tickable box category.
I spend far too long in my room in just my knickers and bra, trying to figure out what to wear. It's not a date, it's nothing formal. It's a meeting about sex, surely I should wear something sexy? I don't think I even know what classes as sexy and the concept feels alien and unachievable.
“Livvie,” Kev knocks on my door, clearly irritated that I'm taking so long.
“Coming,” I hiss, worried that he'll wake Steph up because I do not want to be here to witness that.
I sigh internally and throw on some yoga pants and a strappy top. I can always get changed before Kev leaves and I don't have to stress about it as much when he's gone.
