Bear’s Midlife Surprise: A Fated Mate Shifter Romance (Bear Mates Over Forty Book 4), page 12
Calling ahead probably would have been a good idea, but it was too late for hindsight as she pushed through the clinic door.
Unlike that first day she was there, the place wasn’t empty. There were two huge men, men with dark hair and dark eyes like Tavish, with burly frames. One held a bloodstained towel over his right hand tightly with his left, and the other looked unnaturally pale. They were sitting far enough part that she didn’t think they’d come in together. One was clearly bleeding and the other looked sick as heck.
She stood in the doorway, the bell above the entrance having just jingled to signal her entrance. She inhaled deeply and got one more step inside the place when Kier walked into the waiting room. He stopped dead when he saw her and if he’d had to mime being shocked, he wouldn’t have done a better job of it. His whole face contorted, and his mouth dropped open. He turned and immediately walked out without saying a word.
Her heart pounded against her ribs and her skin felt damp all over, but the first sight of Tavish after weeks apart set her body aflame. Instead of feeling any of the jarring, battling thoughts from the car, all she felt was an instant rush of peace.
He looked like he was going through the exact same thing. He was stunned, but he composed himself after a second and then his eyes glowed warmly. He opened his arms like he intended for her to step into them, but then dropped them suddenly as if he was worried how she’d react. The entire clinic seemed to heat up a few degrees, not just her body.
“January.”
“Your internal mate radar must be broken. I thought you’d sense I was coming.” She said the words in a light-hearted way. It was as if all the anger and the uncertainty she’d been feeling had evaporated.
He didn’t know what to think of that, and then he grinned. “You’re right. I didn’t sense you were coming. But I’m so glad you’re here. Will you come with me?”
He meant to walk out the door with her, since she wasn’t having a medical emergency this time, but she shook her head. He stopped. He hadn’t touched her yet. She wished that he would have swept her into his arms, but also liked that he respected her space and kept a slight distance between them, letting her decide for herself if she wanted to be swept up or not.
“Can we talk here? Do you have a private room?”
He knew. Maybe the mates thing was real, or maybe it was just the expression on her face, or the heaviness in her tone. Maybe it was how she’d worded what she just said, or the fact she was there and the timing of it, but Tavish went as pale as the man in the corner of the room.
“Oh my god. I’ll get Josephine.”
She glanced towards the two men. “They look like they need her urgently.”
“Kier and Trace can work their magic. They’re more than capable.”
Her eyes tracked to the bloodstained towel. “That’s a lot of blood.”
“Alright, she’ll stitch up Rory—he had an accident butchering a pig a few minutes ago—and then she’ll see Colin. He just has gas.”
Colin turned his head and gave Tavish a look that said I’ll give you just gas, this shit is painful, I might actually be dying here and no, antacids aren’t cutting it.
Tavish ignored him. “Will you come back with me? We do have a room empty. We can talk there, and I’ll let Josephine know we need to see her as soon as she can be spared.”
She studied his face. He was only a few inches away. So close. So beautiful. She could barely breathe. She had to keep doing that. Air was a vital thing. She could look at his face forever. She felt like she was melting and overheating, and at the same time, a thousand thoughts sprang to her mind. None of them were ones that were appropriate to say out loud, at least not in front of an audience.
“Yes.”
He led her straight back, down a hall that looked very professional, clinical, and clean. She barely remembered this from the last time. She could recall every single detail of Tavish’s face, but she hardly had any recollection of coming back here. She was too focused on the pain in her leg, on her sister who was having a bit of a freak out worrying about her, on the huge men who filled up the clinic, and the lovely, capable doctor who was equally as captivating and mystifying. If she’d stopped to think about it, even then, something about Greenacre had been so off. More like a dream than reality.
She’d dreamed of this place, not the clinic but the town, Tavish’s house, and the man himself, ever since she’d left. Every. Single. Night.
It was alarming how her return felt inevitable.
“Are you alright?” Tavish asked. He hadn’t even closed the door yet, but his deep voice brought her out of herself. He walked towards her, and she did nothing to put distance between them. It was too easy for him to slowly raise his hand and very gently tilt her chin up with two fingers. “January?”
“Right now I am, but I don’t know what’s coming. It’s terrifying.” She couldn’t keep her deepest fears or her deepest truths to herself. It was exhausting, being so vulnerable. She’d never been that way with anyone else, but it always seemed like she could tell Tavish anything. Even if she didn’t want to, she’d somehow end up blurting it out anyway.
She studied him, the hardness of his face, his jawline, the fine array of lines around his eyes, the lips she’d longed to taste from the second she drove away from Greenacre. Her heart dipped. If she was hooked up to one of those monitors, the little green lines would be all over the place. Her whole body felt like one of those jagged mountains, high at the top, low in the valley before climbing again. When she inhaled, she didn’t smell the bleachy, sterile doctor’s office scents. The room smelled like vanilla, but that was just background compared to the delicious scent that was rolling off Tavish in waves. Just his skin alone, without bodywash, cologne, aftershave, or anything else, had a delicious mountainy, wild, crisp and fresh scent.
She wanted it all over her. Immediately.
She cleared her throat. “Say something. Please.”
He quickly recovered. “Josephine is the best. The town had no doctor for a long time, but one of the reasons she wanted to start this clinic was because she knew that Greenacre would be opening up. It was her idea to build a clinic that could see women through their pregnancies, rather than what used to happen.”
There was a dark undercurrent in his tone that nearly made her imaginary heart monitor flatline as her heart paused mid-beat. “Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. The women weren’t… Do you mean…?” She couldn’t say it. Did they hold the women captive? Kill them? Her mind was throwing up all kinds of imaginary scenarios each worse than the last.
His dark eyes filled with sadness. “In the past things were done differently, we had to keep hidden and we couldn’t allow our young to be out in the world. Women weren’t harmed but we’d buy their babies, buy their silence. It’s unthinkable looking back, but if knowledge of what we are got out…” He paused and met her eyes briefly. January imagined she looked shocked, but inside she did feel some sense of relief. What he was saying was awful, absolutely awful, but given the circumstances perhaps it was understandable. He continued, “It was hard for a lot of women out there in the human world. That was a large part of the reason Sam put an end to any relationships between human women and shifter men. At least until it was decided to open Greenacre to take mates, until women knew what was happening and could make an informed decision. The past is ugly, January. I’ve always been so careful that this would never happen to someone who had no idea what was coming.”
“But it’s okay that I’m in this position now?”
“No.” His fingers spread over her jaw, caressing, and then dropped lower, to her shoulder. “I didn’t mean it that way. This was accidental. You have to know that. I thought the birth control would be enough.”
“Obviously it wasn’t” she hissed, her lungs deflating like ruptured hot air balloons. “I’m not… I tried, Tavish. I tried to get pregnant when I was younger, and it didn’t work. I accepted that maybe I just couldn’t have kids.” She didn’t like bringing up her past with another man, or the fact that she’d tried to have kids with him, because it felt wrong discussing something so private with another person. Insulting and horrible, but he needed to know her body. They’d just accepted their life the way it was. Childless.
Jotham had been relieved, if she was willing to admit it, and now it didn’t feel so hard to be honest with herself. She’d been devastated and she’d gone through that completely alone.
Maybe there were specific things she could point to in her marriage. Things that were said and unsaid. Actions taken and not taken. That were just one step further down the road of we want separate things, we just can’t admit it.
“It’s going to be alright.” Tavish’s hand with his beautiful, strong fingers clenched her arm just enough to reassure. He was so gentle and careful with her. “I promise. You’re here. You’re in Greenacre. We’ll help you. You’ll have the best care.”
“How many shifter pregnancies has Josephine looked after? Births? Because I don’t see a lot of women here.”
His face blanked, or rather, it looked he was hiding behind a mask so he didn’t scare her, but then he dropped it and gave a resigned sigh. “Not many, I’ll admit, but she’s a great doctor and she’s had her own twins with Trace as well, so she knows what to expect. Everyone here will pull together. If you need advice, then as well as Lily and Josephine there’s another woman, Glendy, who is actually pregnant right now. She’s about four months along.”
“Good god. What if something terrible happens to—”
He silenced her with a shake of his head and a look so serious she believed he’d stand in the way of it ever becoming a reality, even if that was impossible. “That won’t happen. Not to you. Not to the baby.”
“But we—”
“We’ll find you a place to stay here, only if that’s what you want. If not, then close by, in Seattle. We’ll make this work. You’re not trapped. You’re still free to live your life. This was completely unplanned on both our parts, and we’ll find a way to make this work. I would never use this incredibly happy news to derail your life.”
He sounded unsure only of the part where he said happy. Not for himself, but for her. Her hand flew to her stomach. His was still on her shoulder. She was honest enough with herself to admit that she needed that steadying touch. She even leaned into it.
“I’m happy about the baby. I’m excited. Children are the most wonderful part of life. I thought I couldn’t have kids, that I wouldn’t have them, but here I am. Happy. Nervous. Overjoyed. Terrified. There’s a lot to come. Pregnancy can be hard, painful, scary.”
“It can be all those things, but we’ll be here for you. If you need it, Josephine will find you someone even above her specialty. We have another clan that lives on neighboring land now and they don’t have the problem we have with birthing female shifters. There are plenty of women there who have had children.”
“But they’re not humans, Tavish.”
His face changed, falling. “Well, that’s true, but they’re experienced in shifter pregnancies and birth. I’m sure they’d be willing to offer advice or help if necessary.”
“You don’t look sure.”
“Well, they like to keep to themselves, but I’m sure that if we really needed it, they’d at least give advice.”
“So we’re basically just flying by the seat of our pants?”
“No.” The adamant shake of his head told her what he thought about that. “No risks. No chances. Not for you. Not for my young.” He couldn’t keep that straight face any longer, and watching a man as strong and rugged as him absolutely melt made her go liquid inside too.
The door opened behind Tavish and Josephine stepped in. Her face colored immediately on taking in their intimate stance, but they didn’t break apart, embarrassed or fumbling. She looked first at Tavish and then her sharp gaze flew to January. People in Greenacre were incredibly perceptive, but then, it was pretty obvious what would have brought her back and to the clinic with zero notice. Only a medical emergency that she couldn’t go to a regular hospital for in Phoenix.
“Oh,” Josephine whispered, but then she broke into a huge smile. “It’s so wonderful to see you again, January.” There were so many doctors in the world who were amazing at practicing medicine, but terrible at interacting with their patients. Josephine excelled at both. She was great at reading the room, and after just a few seconds, when January allowed herself the smallest smile in the face of all that warmth, Josephine grinned as well. “Congratulations, my dear. How about we all sit down and talk about what the future looks like, at least as far as this baby goes?”
Chapter 16
Tavish
Oddly enough, even after Trace and Josephine offered their spare room and Sam and Lily offered a place with them, January said she’d rather stay with him. He promised her that he’d take the couch. He didn’t want to put even the smallest amount of pressure on her. She was already dealing with so much change. Josephine had suggested she speak with Glendy in the morning, and January took her up on the offer. While Josephine had given her some pointers about what to expect when you’re expecting a shifter baby, her memories had faded with time and the delivery, so she’d thought a meeting with another mom-to-be would be beneficial. She’d arranged it within a few minutes over her phone.
He stirred the pitcher of peach juice slowly, wanting to make sure it was perfect. He finally turned and found January standing behind him, arms crossed and a frown that matched his. No, his were more like concerned lines. Hers was just a glowering, annoyed expression.
“I’m going to be fine, Tavish. You’re only going to be gone for a few hours. I’ve managed to survive this far as an adult. I’m more than capable of being here alone.”
“I know.” He held out the pitcher. “I made you peach juice. I know how much you like it.”
She softened slightly, sighing and dropping her arms. “Thanks.”
“You know I’m going to worry about you endlessly from here on out.”
“I know, but we need to keep it to a minimum. I’m too independent to be coddled and fussed over. I know you’re worried. I’m scared too. I haven’t told my family, not even my sister. There’s still a move in my future, wherever I decide I want to end up. It’s a lot of stress, which isn’t good for anyone, so I’m trying to take it literally minute by minute and relax.”
He set the juice down on the counter. She went to the cupboard and took out a glass. She couldn’t pretend the first sip wasn’t delicious. He watched the tiny flicker of delight as she blinked. “That’s pretty good.”
“I’ll just be out walking the perimeter along the woods, or into them if I have to. We have short shifts. Three hours each. I used to work longer hours, but not since I’ve been at the clinic.”
“I’ll be okay. I have lots to do here. I brought a book. I can think about what I’m going to say to my parents, who already think I’ve gone batshit. Maybe I’ll call my sister and explain just enough that I can go over there within the next couple days and talk. It’s hard, but not that hard, to keep this a secret. I think. It kind of makes my head hurt.”
“Yes. I can imagine. Though that could be hunger. Did you eat anything today?”
Her forehead creased with agitation again, but then it smoothed out. She dipped her head. “A little. Probably not enough. I’ll make a sandwich.”
“I can do it for you.”
“You have to go. I can definitely do that on my own.”
He wanted to stay, but he forced himself to go. January was right about the smothering. He couldn’t do that to her. Not for nine months. Not afterwards. She’d come back to him. She’d made him a part of this. She wanted Josephine’s help. Not just because she was scared. She’d come back because she wanted him to share in this experience. She’d said that to Josephine and not him, but it added up to the same thing.
He had to make sure that he was protective, but not overprotective. January still had to be in control of her life and her choices. If she wanted to choose him eventually, he couldn’t force her into that. He also needed to make clear just how much it meant to him that she’d thought about him and his feelings in all this. She could have had the baby on her own, however scary it would have been. She could have found a way to live like Sam’s mom had, in the human world with a shifter child. Or she could have come to Greenacre ten years in the future, right before the transition period. She knew enough from her hours with Lily, clearly, to have made a decision like that.
She hadn’t. She hadn’t even needed to spend days or weeks thinking about it, looking at every option from every angle. She’d come back here, trusting her instincts.
He wouldn’t hover. He wouldn’t treat her like she was fragile and breakable. January was a strong woman. She was intelligent. Kind. He’d treat her like he valued that about her, because he did. He respected her courage beyond measure. It was a lot in a very short period of time.
Tavish started out walking to the end of main street, then headed past Sam’s house. The lights were all still on because it was only nine. There were no kids racing around, or shadows behind the filmy curtains, because they were all in bed by now. He smiled, thinking about Sam’s happiness. It hadn’t always been easy for him, living alone and then taking on his brother’s kids. At the start those three boys had been sullen and withdrawn. They’d gone through a heap of heartache and came out the other side. When they started to warm up to Sam, it was like a miracle. Then he met Lily and in the space of less than a year he’d gone from living in his house all alone, to having his own family. The warmth of that cabin, the joy and laughter, was unmistakable, even when everything was quiet in the chilly, dark night.
He headed past the cabin and into the woods. It was habit and had been for a long time, but he changed up his routine every night so that he’d never become predictable in the routes he took.
The fact that he ventured deeper into the woods a good distance further than normal was the only reason he heard the noise.
