Wrecking Ball, page 2
She begins to walk down the aisle to the music, each footstep bringing her closer to me. God, I could literally pick her up like a damn caveman and carry her out of here, but I won’t because I have a job to do and a show to put on. So, I school my features, keep my face straight, all the while keeping my eyes on her.
Kat Wiltshire.
My wrecking ball.
She’s going to try and fight me; I can see it in her eyes.
That’s okay though, because it makes it more of a challenge, and a challenge is always sweeter when won.
You see, I’m going to be an absolute bastard to her, I’m going to make her hate me, make her wish that she had died rather than chosen to be my wife.
Why?
Because I’m a sick fuck that needs to break those that get this close to me in order to make sure they are all fucking in. I can’t have room for doubt. I won’t allow myself to be burned by anybody, not even her.
She’s getting closer, and I am so ready for this to be over and to start our new life together.
Her light blues sparkle despite the fact that she hates me. I know how good I look in a suit, and it shows on her face. We’re going to have to work on her poker face, make sure she keeps those slight twitches hidden from predators. She’s going to need to hone her skills, and I’m going to help her.
She stops in front of me, and I take a moment to just appreciate her.
Even her fucking cheekbones are perfect. Such a shame we couldn’t have met before now. Before my heart became stone and my tolerance for bullshit was at an all-time low.
I study her lips––her full, plump lips that are slightly parted and begging for me to devour her. I reach my hand up and brush my fingertips over her cheek. I don’t miss the blush that creeps up her neck and her eyes closing for a brief second as she allows herself a stolen moment to savour my touch.
I lower my voice and whisper so only she can hear. “You ready to do this?” It’s the one and only time that I will show her a softer side of me.
She holds my gaze and I see the indecision in her eyes. I know this isn’t the way she would have chosen to get married. I took that choice from her, and I don’t care. She’s mine, and today will seal the deal.
“Yes,” she whispers as she blinks away tears that threaten to fall.
“Good,” I say before dropping my hand. “Let’s get on with it.”
* * *
Kat
“Let’s get on with it.”
I scoff as I replay those words over and over in my head. Fucking poetic, I think not. Fucking romantic, not in any way, shape or form. I am so over today. My wedding day. The first official day of hell.
I should be with a man that I love, but that asshole fucked me over and left me to the wolves. Nate Knowles being the wolf––and now my husband. The asshole being Clark.
I bring the glass of champagne to my lips and knock it back, placing the empty glass down on the table and picking up another one.
“Take it steady, my love,” Nate says, his lips by my ear, his hand covering mine that rests on the table, curled into a fist. “Wouldn’t want you to ruin your appetite by getting pissed.”
I drain the glass and place it down on the table before turning to look at Nate. “Wouldn’t want me embarrassing you, more like,” I counter, my tone not hiding how irritated I am.
“I expected the bite to come a little later than this, Kat, but I have to say, an hour after our wedding is impressive.”
“Don’t act so surprised, Nate. You’re not stupid and you know that I didn’t want this,” I grit out through clenched teeth.
“You had a choice.”
“Yeah, a totally shit one where I could either marry you or die,” I seethe, keeping my voice low, because as much as I hate him, I would hate for people to pity me more.
“Forgotten that potty mouth of yours?” Nate remarks.
“Not at all. I’m an adult, a thirty-two-year-old woman who can say what she damn well likes.”
“Not anymore,” he says and grips me with his steely gaze. “My wife will be respected, not looked at like a piece of filth because she can’t keep her mouth in check.”
“You want me to keep my mouth in check?” I say as I move closer to him, my lips brushing over his as I speak. “Never going to happen, husband. Maybe you should have thought about that before you forced me to marry you.” I get up before he can reply and push my chair back before walking away from the table and out of the ridiculously extravagant mansion that we are having this fake-as-fuck meal in.
I march down the steps and across the grounds, kicking my heels off as I step foot onto the gardens that wrap around the whole place. I need some air and I need a moment. I stop when I am out of sight, hiding my body behind a bush and closing my eyes for a second to stop the frustrated tears from escaping.
You know those guys that you want to choke but fuck at the same time? Yeah, that’s how I feel about Nate, because as much as I hate him, I want him, and I despise myself for it.
My head is a clusterfuck of emotions, and it’s about to get a whole lot more clouded as I feel hands being placed on the tops of my arms from behind me. I know it’s him before he even speaks.
“What’s wrong, wife?” he whispers, his lips right by my ear, his breath whispering over my skin. I fight the delicious shiver that wants to race through me because I can’t let myself be completely his. He trapped me into whatever this life is that I am about to begin, and for that, I will always hate him.
“Just needed some air,” I manage to choke out.
“You know, this doesn’t have to be hard, Kat,” he says, and I break away from him, putting a few steps between us and turning around to face him, hands on my hips. He puts his hands in the pockets of his trousers, and fuck me, I have never seen such a dominant, glorious sight in all my life. Damn my pussy for tingling at his mere presence.
“Don’t come out here and try to sweet talk me, Nate. You made this happen, and I had no choice but to come along for the ride. The question I can’t seem to answer though is why… Why on earth would you want to do this to me?” I rush out and instantly regret saying anything as he stalks towards me, his eyes igniting with a fire that I don’t want to respond to, but my damn body seems to love.
He stops just in front of me, eradicating the distance that I put between us mere seconds ago.
“I already told you. I want to own you––”
“Yeah, yeah, own me, control me, and make me need you. I get it. You want to screw with my brain for failing to pay a fucking debt––” My words are cut off as his hand comes to my throat, his fingers wrapping around as he gently squeezes.
“I told you to watch your mouth,” he warns, but all that does is send heat racing to my excited pussy.
I can feel tears clogging my throat, but it’s not because I’m scared, far from it. It’s because I know that I could easily fall for this guy, even though I know all he wants to do is break me down and make me weak.
“Despite what you might think, Kat,” he begins, loosening his hold on my throat a little, letting his fingers massage my skin. “I haven’t done this to make your life hell.”
“No?” I scoff before I can stop myself.
“No.” His eyes blaze, and for some reason, I know he’s telling me the truth. Now I just have to figure out why he chose to spare my life and make me live his. “In time, you will learn to get along with me, but for now, all you have to do is keep your mouth in check and live the high life.”
“Ah yes, because you’re Nate Knowles, crime lord and all-round badass alpha,” I say, sarcasm lacing my tone.
“Yes, I am, and it would do you good to remember that,” he says before letting go of me completely and turning and walking away.
I watch his retreating form and admire his broad shoulders before focussing on his ass.
Christ, I need to get a grip.
I am going to be totally screwed if I allow my womanly wants to take over everything I stand for.
I will be nobody’s toy.
I’m not here to be owned by some guy that thinks he can have everything he wants without consequences.
I am my own person and I intend to stay that way, and I need to make sure I blind-side the bastard, so he doesn’t see my exit from his life coming.
Chapter Four
Six months earlier
Nate
“I know what I’m doing, Stefan,” I tell my right-hand man––soon to be dead man if he keeps bloody questioning me about what I’m doing with Kat.
“You sure, Nate? Because I know you, and I know that there is another reason for doing this,” Stefan continues, pushing me a little bit more.
“I told you, I have it all under control,” I bite out.
“But––”
“Will you just fucking stop!” I shout as I stand up and bang my fists on my desk in anger. “I do not need to be questioned, I know my own goddamn mind and it has decided that I want her as my wife. End of fucking discussion.” It’s that simple. I want her and I got her.
My eyes narrow on Stefan, the closest person to me, as I try to rein myself in.
Stefan holds his hands up, palms facing me in surrender. “Okay, I get it, you’re fine. You’re so fucking fine that you just slammed your fists into the desk and gave me the bloody death stare. Me. Your closest friend. Your best friend. But hey, who am I to question the great crime lord, Nate Knowles, in making one of the most bizarre decisions ever,” he says before letting his hands drop to his sides.
“Stefan––”
“No need to tell me to do one, Nate, I’m already out of here.” And with that, he opens my office door and leaves, closing the door quietly behind him.
I let out a sigh and sit back in my chair, my mind feeling like it’s going to explode with all the questions going round and round like a fucking Ferris wheel at one-hundred miles an hour.
Stefan and I have been friends for years, and there isn’t much that gets me pissed off at him, but when it comes to her, I will piss on any prick that stands in my way.
Kat Wiltshire. The woman of my goddamn dreams, and the one I have to break in order for her to truly see the bigger picture where we could be happy, a couple, a team. She took money from me six months ago, was meant to pay it back and that be the end of it, but she couldn’t pay me, and I know it isn’t really her fault. Doesn’t mean that I am willing to let her go. Not now. Not ever.
I know the money was for her and her ex-douche-bag bloke’s shitty bar that was making zero profit. I also knew that the business was totally fucked and unsavable when I leant her the money. Her ex is one slithery snake, but when he put her in my path, I had to become somewhat snake-like myself. You see, I’ve admired Kat ever since she walked into my office, and I’ve never wanted to fuck anyone more.
I’m a man that gets what he wants, and I want her.
Only thing I need to do is make sure that I don’t break myself in the process, because fuck if she isn’t the only person who could ever do it.
The amount of power she has, and she doesn’t even realise it.
The way in which I have shunned other women because I knew that I didn’t want a life of quick pussy and torrid affairs.
She ruined me the moment I set eyes on her, made me see just what true beauty was. I’m not one of those men that chase skirt constantly, looking to sink my dick into the nearest hole.
I’ve never really been a fuck boy, and no, I’m not some soppy twat that has been pining away for her for the last six months. I just knew that I never wanted to settle. But for her, I am.
Nate Knowles is going to be wed. She accepted my offer last night. Not that she had much of a choice, even I know that, but she said yes and now I’m planning everything. The only thing she has to do is go and get a dress.
We’re going to be wed in six months.
She has one week to wrap up her existence and kiss goodbye to that shitty bar and everything she knows.
Life for her is about to change dramatically. I won’t bother her for the week, but when it’s time to collect, I’ll be there, waiting.
She’s going to hate me.
She’s going to want out.
But sometimes, we hate those that we love.
Sometimes, we don’t accept the inevitable until it is thrust into our face.
I say I want to break her, and I truly mean that, because in order for her to accept me, she has to see the darkest parts of me. I’ve done some truly terrible shit, and I harbour ghosts that will never leave me. I’ve tainted, I’ve maimed, and I’ve tortured.
To truly accept someone, you have to see them as a whole, and she’s about to get one hell of a life lesson.
* * *
Kat
One week.
One week to say goodbye to my life and enter his.
I’m so fucking screwed, and I have no idea how to get out of this.
I’ve wracked my brains for an out. I’ve thought about begging, getting down on my knees and asking him for mercy, but I know that won’t do any good.
He’s a bad man, and we don’t share the same principles.
I could kill Clark––my ex––for doing this to me. He’s the reason my life is in tatters. I have no idea what happened or where things went wrong, but it did, and it has. He left me high and dry to pick up the pieces, and I’m paying with my life. I’m not sure if death would actually have been a better option.
I’d been with Clark for four years. I thought we were happy. I thought we were building a future, but all he was building was a fucking gambling habit and making me his cash cow. It was his idea to go to Nate. He persuaded me, he pushed the fucking trigger on my life, and he’s not even here to see the consequences. He disappeared two weeks ago. I realise now that that wasn’t a coincidence. He knew our deadline to pay up was coming to an end, so he took himself off in order to save his ass. Bastard. Four fucking years I gave to him and he deserted me.
Now I’m left with the devil, wondering what the hell his reasons for doing this are.
Chapter Five
Present Day
Kat
I walk back into the extravagant room and take my seat next to my husband. Dear God, it’s like something out of a fucking nightmare.
Here I am, in a room full of some of the nastiest men and women in history, and I’m married to the fucking crime lord that runs it all.
Couldn’t make this shit up if you tried.
I’ve been living in his world for months now, no job, no purpose, just there to escort him to whatever function he needed me to. I’m a nobody, a nothing, and the realisation hits me with a pang. I feel the tears welling in my eyes and I furiously blink, trying to keep them at bay. I lower my head, because as shit as this all is, there is a part of me that doesn’t want to embarrass myself or Nate by being some teary-eyed wreck.
But as soon as my chin touches my chest, I feel his hand take mine––the one resting on my thigh. His fingers gently entwine with mine and I close my eyes for a second, taking a couple of deep breaths.
I don’t know what it is he does to me. Like I said, I hate him, but then there are these moments where he surprises me. Like now.
His other hand comes to my chin and lifts my head up, turning me to face him. For a second, I think that he’s angry, pissed off that I’m sat here looking as miserable as sin at my own wedding, but it’s not anger that I see, it’s something else I can’t quite put my finger on. And then he surprises me in a way I never thought possible as he moves closer, and his lips connect softly with mine.
I’m momentarily stunned by the action.
We’ve never kissed before, not like this. Sure, he’s placed a kiss on my cheek, and we had a brief connect of lips at the altar after saying our vows, but this is different. This is more, and I have no idea what to do with that. My body seems to answer for me as my eyes close and my lips decide to enjoy whatever this is.
The way he moves his lips against mine––so soft and gentle––is making me want to put aside all of my previous thoughts about him. I’m too vulnerable right now to push him away. It’s a very stark realisation that he is the closest person to me. He’s one of the only people I’ve seen in months. He’s the person I talk to daily, no matter how much I try to avoid it. He’s the one I eat dinner with every evening, the one I hold hands with when required, and he’s also the one that sleeps in the room across from me every night…
Fucking hell. His house is huge. Massive. Ridiculously oversized, but I can’t help but be astounded by the sheer size and beauty of this place.
I’ve never set foot in somewhere so plush. The interior designer must have had a field day when they did this place, because I can’t imagine for one minute that Nate chose the décor or the thick carpet that your feet sink into. He just doesn’t seem the type––given that he is too busy offing people in his daily life.
Even the woodwork of the banister has intricate detail as it leads upstairs to more large rooms. Nate is giving me the grand tour, and when we come to a stop outside of two doors––one on the left and one on the right––I hope to God that one of them is a bedroom for me because there is no way that I am sharing a bed with him, wife or not.
He opens the door to the left and gestures for me to walk in. When I enter, I see a king-size bed with gorgeous bedding adorning it, and then two more doors––one opposite the bed and another to my left.
“That door leads to your walk-in closet and the other to your ensuite bathroom,” Nate says as he points to each in turn.
“This is my room?” I question, because I don’t fully believe that he is going to give me this amount of space, even though I’ve been hoping for it.
“Yes.”
“So, this is my safe space?”
“Kat, this whole fucking house is your safe space,” he tells me, and my eyes lock with his.
