Soul Shock, page 21
“Well, if it will make you feel better, go ahead. I’ll heal.” I reached in toward her. She edged away from my hand, growling. Ignoring the warning, I grabbed at her. She bit halfheartedly, not breaking the skin. Her protest made, she allowed me to sweep her out from beneath the bookcase. I gathered her into my arms, plucked off a few dust bunnies that had hitched a ride, and stroked her soft fur. She hid her face in the crook of my arm.
I carried her into the living room and settled into the overstuffed armchair to wait. Slowly, a bubbly purr wound out of her. A rustling, a shift of weight, and a girl lay on top of me, sniffling against my chest.
“Sssh, it’s going to be okay,” I said, hoping it would be true.
“It’s not okay!” she shouted, her head snapping up from my chest. “You almost lost it! I saw you get ready to pounce Joy! They’re gunna shatter her!”
“Secret, what would you have me do? We tried siccing the police on her; you saw how well that went. Cliff won tonight, but you must have felt how she swept everyone in that club into her… feeling? Element?”
“Sensation,” Secret corrected me, tears escaping her eyes and rolling down her cheeks.
“You saw how many trees there are at the Butte now. Didn’t you?” I asked.
She nodded miserably.
“Those were people. She won’t stop at strangers. You saw her deliver that sword back to Cliff, to make sure she gets another crack at him. I can’t let this go on without an end in sight. It will shatter me.”
Her little claws hooked onto the front of my shirt as she kneaded my chest. Mouth opened to speak but only the plaintive cry of a kitten for her mother came out. She collapsed against me and her shoulders shook.
Feeling useless and wretched, I hugged her tightly.
“I’m the princess of cats, I don’t wanna be the queen,” she mumbled between sobs. “I was supposed to save her when I got older. When I’m strong.”
I kissed her head and squeezed her tight. “I’m sorry, but we can’t let summer do this. It’s a season, it will be back. Using the same blackmail to get their way next year and the year after that. You know it and I know it.”
Eventually she squirmed, and I eased my hold enough so she could look up to me. She bit her lip, flesh turning white beneath her pointed fangs, teary eyes pleading.
“Secret…” I breathed, blinking back my own tears. “Think. Maybe there’s a way we can capture Joy without harming her. Force Titania to release your mother in exchange for Joy?”
“If Knight Joy is harmed by any of your claws or iron…” Secret quoted sullenly, flopping against my chest. “It wasn’t a promise or a pact.”
“A simple threat, then. Not bound by loopholes,” I thought out loud as I recalled what the Green-Tailed Lady told me: we had to fight Joy on the chessboard. That means trading pieces. I hate chess. It’s so binary, no wounding; pieces are captured or not. A thought appeared in my head, sudden as a Cheshire’s grin. Wary of it, I let it crystallize while I ran my nails through Secret’s hair, watching her tail lift and fall. “What if…” I began. Her tail froze. “What if we went back to the Dream? You can still open the doors?”
She stared down at her black-furred hands. Claws extended, disappeared, before balling up into fists. “Summer is very strong now, days past the Solstice. Any opening they will discover. Fey may slip through the gate before it closes.”
“Too dangerous?” I asked.
“No!” Her eyes snapped up to mine; the green glimmered as her slitted pupils crowded out the white of her eyes. “We… We’ll have to find a gate where winter still holds! On the mountain!” Her grin held no happiness but a feral mania. “We’ll take her to the dark if we have to! Bargain with Cheshire. Somewhere that neither summer nor winter can touch. Then I won’t tie your hands anymore! Ever again!”
She pounced forward suddenly, wrapping her arms around my neck and forcefully nuzzling my cheek. “Thank you, Abby! You are my second Momma.”
That surprised me enough that I didn’t hug her back immediately. When I attempted to, she vaulted off my lap and bolted for the front door. She had it half open when I found my voice, “Secret, what are you doing? Where are you going?”
“I’m getting my mother’s treasures for the journey.” She glanced back at me, her eyes huge and inhuman as they brimmed with excitement.
“Wait up. Let me go with you. It’s not safe out there for you.” I stood.
A shake of her head. “It’s a secret for Secret only. I’ll be back tomorrow.” She ran out the doorway, slamming the door behind her. Shouting her name, I broke into a sprint, only to collide with the door as my hand slipped on the knob. I reached again and my hand slipped around the knob as if it had been greased. The gossamer musk of Secret’s own glamour hit my nose. One more attempt made zero progress on turning the knob. With a growl, I ran for the back door.
Victoria raised her head from her phone as I shot past her.
“Talk went well?” She called to me as I shot out the rear of the kitchen and into the backyard. By the time I had circled around to the front, Secret had completely disappeared out into the night.
“Secret!” I called out down the darkened street to no answer, only the lightest scent of her on the wind as a goodbye. I felt her absence as a pit in my gut.
Victoria caught up to me as I started to shift. “Abby, don’t ruin another shirt! It’s not worth it. She’s coming back.”
“How do you know?” I whined.
“Because she said she would? My hearing’s just as good as yours.” She tapped her still-pointed ears. “Secret’s a cat. She’ll be fine. Worry about it if she doesn’t come back tomorrow. Maybe… Let Nadia know that Secret’s likely to be hungry soon?” Victoria said as she guided me back into the house.
Still, I fended off Victoria’s entreaties to come with her to bed, and drifted toward the back porch, grabbing a pound of salami out of the fridge en route. To my surprise, I found Cindy there. So much for enhanced wolf senses; she must have been sitting there this entire time. She sat in the long porch swing that she’d hung up a few weeks ago. Still in her paramedic uniform, she had a large picture book in her lap. Nestled around her person were nearly a dozen fox kits; while three sprawled across her lap, the two perched on each shoulder watched the pages with rapt attention and others yawned with disinterest as they leaned against her hips. A big-boned snow white, but for foxes. She read to them, pitching her voice high and low according to the characters, a motley collection of wolves, foxes, and one really grumpy turtle.
Normal fox kits don’t listen to stories, my brain noted. I sat down on the other end of the swing and ignored the snatches of humanity buried beneath the fox musk. While I listened to the story, one kit came sniffing after my salami. I gave him a quarter of a slice, which he snatched from my fingers and bolted back to the shelter of Cindy’s thigh. I leaned back and stared up at the divided moon, the phase of her judgment. Still, I prayed she’d watch over and protect Secret on her errand. Luna gave no answer but she listened. Different, so different from when I was a kid. I’d clutch my hands together until they hurt and squeeze my eyes so hard that the black of my eyelids bled color. Then I’d pray for anything, a new bike, that my teacher wouldn’t call on me, or to rapture us before Mom saw my report card.
That god never answered, but I wondered. Luna ran in my blood, that meant Sol, the sun which she had betrayed when he and eight other entities sealed some off, could be just as real. How did Sol relate to the Christian god? Did he simply have so many worshipers that they drowned each other out? Could Gloria have hurt me with a different prayer? Luna had surged at the “trespasses” line. The creed that Gloria had failed to follow? That she hadn’t forgiven me for my trespasses against her? Course if she had, then she probably wouldn’t be attempting to smite me at all. Maybe that had been the point. I rubbed the spot where the cross had pressed on my chest. There would be more gods now, the Green-Tailed Lady for one, and many more to navigate. Here on my territory, if I placed my bare feet on the earth and closed my eyes, the soil trembled with the stirrings of forgotten bones. They, too, would come to reclaim what they had left behind before long.
Soft squeaks bent my ear from my musings and I found a quartet of tiny black noses pointed up at me, sniffing hopefully at the diminished stack of cold cuts on my lap. Cindy smiled as I handed out slices.
“I hope your week is going better than mine,” I told her as the kits retreated to the safety of her shadow. The distance between us comprised maybe two Cliff-sized butts, but it felt like we occupied different worlds.
She stroked the back of one kit lying in her lap. Its ear twitched before it rolled over and yawned. “You’re going to the Dream tomorrow night. You should bring a third. Journeys like that are best with three pilgrims.”
I started to ask her how she knew that and stopped, spotting the round of her ears poking through the tresses of her wavy red hair. Amending the thought I asked, “I thought it didn’t work like that.”
She looked away, playing with one of the kits’ tails. “There’s no memory, but there are insights sometimes. And, I find myself doing things without knowing why. Habits that I never had.” The kit gamely bit at her fingers. “That’s where these little darlings came from.”
“What are they?” I couldn’t help but ask.
“Is it worth a question game to you?” Cindy countered with a sly smile, and I could see Rey within my friend’s face.
I shivered and ripped my gaze back to the moon.
Cindy giggled. “See, habits. But I’m not my beloved little fox fey. I promise you that.”
“Will you come with us?” I asked after a bit.
“No. Without Rey’s memories, I’d be as lost as you. Besides, I still have a job and you could be gone longer than you’d like.”
Eight days from the new moon. Rescuing Secret from winter had been three days; Victoria coming along would be a risk of missing her appointment with Death. Would Cliff come along after what I had-. I shook the thought away. With what had happened to his mother?
Later I’d ask him. I leaned back in the seat and watched as Luna tracked through the sky.
30
I jolted awake and blinked in the early morning sunshine. A light blue blanket rested across my shoulders. A sweet gesture from either Cindy or Victoria. I felt rather than heard a familiar presence on the very edge of my awareness. Secret. Secret’s home. Tossing off the blanket, I felt the warmth of the morning air flow over my skin. Sighing and laughing at the sudden realization of my nakedness, I rewrapped myself. Trudging around the house and opening the side gate, I went to stand in the front yard amid the increasingly wild flower garden. The elderly couple who lived across the street were boarding their SUV, and stopped to wave and stare with a bit of concern. They asked me if I was okay, and I replied that I’ve been better. Fortunately, this pair weren’t the prying type, like Bethany one house over. They tossed their shopping bags into their car and drove off, leaving me to watch the light morning traffic as the last stragglers of the nine-to-five started their commute.
Secret, in her pink cat-eared helmet, skated around a corner three blocks down. I debated between my mother’s I’m very disappointed; where have you been? stance with the crossed arms, or the charging out to meet her, Where the hell have you been I’ve been worried sick? approach. Standing still and waiting won out, because I did not feel like giving the neighbors an additional show this morning. About a block and a half away, she must have noticed my stare because she popped up onto the sidewalk to complete her journey. She hopped off her skateboard and hugged my leg, grinning ear to ear.
“Good Morning! I’m back!” she announced with pride.
“I see that,” I responded, my fragile sternness barely holding. “Do you have any idea how grounded you’d be if you were a normal child?”
The smile got bigger, and she purred, “Nope! Cats don’t get grounded, and I know how much you hate cages.”
She had me there. I sighed and picked her up so we were eye to eye. “Don’t you dare do that again to me. Do you have any idea how worried I get when you are out of my sight? What if you had gotten snatched up by someone?”
“I didn’t. I got my momma’s stuff. It will help,” she said, without a trace of guilt in her little face. Cats… I considered threatening her with a solid day of math problems, but that would be punishing myself.
Giving up, I squeezed her until she squeaked. She hugged back with more strength than I remembered her possessing. I led her back into the house, “I suppose you want food, huh?”
“Tuna!” she answered enthusiastically, and then softer, “and can we visit Nadia before we go?”
“We’ll see,” I told her. “I have to call Cliff. Cindy suggested we have a third person along.”
“Threes are good.” She nodded. “And Vicky can’t come, anyway.”
When I called Cliff, he invited all of us over but not to his place; the Gifford siblings were having a meeting at their mother’s place. They wanted my advice. It seemed like the wrong time to invite him on a perilous journey into the Dream, so I agreed to come over, though not alone.
After a brief stop for breakfast, we arrived at Gloria’s house. I spotted not only Cliff’s sports car, but Sophie’s SUV in the driveway, and the understated Nissan EV fit the profile of what I knew of the middle Gifford sibling, Taya. Despite the morning sunshine, the house retained an air of gloom around it.
Secret’s bubbly mood refused to be squashed and she skipped up to the door. It opened before she reached it, the frame filling with Cliff’s slumped form. He smiled and greeted Secret while Victoria and I caught up.
“Thanks for coming,” he said with all the levity of a funeral. We followed him in through the foyer, passing the counter Cliff had thrown me on when my moon-given stamina had run out entirely. They had provided the food that had gotten me back on my feet. Even on that night when the dead ruled the living, this place had pulsed with life and family. Now the air itself weighed down on my shoulders, sullen and empty of life. Cliff led us into the long room that had the kitchen at one end, a living room at the other, and a large dining area in between. Taya sat at the counter, aggressively scrolling on her phone, Sophie had a laptop open on the end of the dinner table, but had sat back with crossed arms and watched us impassively.
In the center of the table, a TV had been set up with a webcam sitting on its top. On the screen was a view into the safe room at Victoria’s house. Gloria sat, with a blue blanket wrapped around her, at the small island counter that separated the kitchen from the living space. I stopped walking, but Cliff strode right into the center of the webcam’s view and faced the screen.
“Mom. Abby’s here,” he said.
Gloria’s head jerked up to glare at her son before mumbling something and coming around to be closer to the camera.
Cliff addressed me, “Mom’s got something to say to you. And she’s going to say it in a calm and polite manner.”
Both of his sisters shifted uncomfortably in their seats and Sophie snorted, but they both said nothing as I stepped up beside Cliff. Meanwhile, Gloria’s lips puckered as if her tongue had soured.
“Good morning, Gloria.” I gave her a brittle smile. While I had a pretty strong notion of what was happening here, I could see it going off the rails very quickly.
Gloria’s mouth worked, and I watched her nostrils flare as she took several deep breaths. “I’m sorry for…” She paused, drawing in another breath, “assaulting you, and ask for forgiveness.” The last word came out more of a mumble. It was as sincere as any apology performed at gun point.
“What else, Mom?” Cliff asked with the sternness of a parent.
“Getting to it,” she whispered beneath her breath, and winced as if she were experiencing physical pain. “I beg you to intercede on my behalf and ask Luna to remove this demon from me.”
I blinked; that had been far more than I had expected, and I wondered what Cliff had done to convince her to say that. Put me in a pickle; the gracious thing would be to simply accept them and move on. That’s the human thing. What would Luna’s view on forgiveness be? Cliff watched me as the silence stretched. Words mattered, and I composed them carefully.
“Gloria Gifford,” I stated formally. “I forgive you, because I want peace and harmony between our families. So long as your actions follow those words and we can be cordial to each other going forward. However, I cannot speak for Luna, and given our history thus far, I am a poor choice to advocate on your behalf. You should ask another.”
“And who in the hell would that be?” Gloria’s eyes lit with anger and she opened her mouth to say more, but the screen turned black.
“Call you back, Mom.” Cliff told the now empty monitor, before turning to me and pleading, “Come on, Abby, play ball with us here.”
Secret snickered behind me as I gave him an unimpressed stare.
Cliff held up his hands in surrender. “Pun not intended, I swear. But Abby, you’re the only one who can do this. Figure out what she has to do to atone, or send her on a quest or something.”
“What am I going to say to her? ‘Hey Luna that lady you cursed says she’s real sorry about the whole attempting to get me smote thing, would you please uncurse her?’” I said, not appreciating having this sprung on me without warning. “I can’t tell you precisely how this all works but I’m pretty sure that’s not it.”
“Mom can’t live in that basement forever. You’re the only one who can broker a deal here, Abby. No one else here can talk to Luna.” He said, then quickly added, “and get an answer.”
Taya cut in, “See, this is why you should let me take her to the Green-Tailed Lady. Maybe she can tell us how to start this?”
“Oh let’s make this even more complicated by involving another god!” Sophie huffed.
Taya ignored her sister and focused on me. “What sort of sacrifices does Luna appreciate? She’s associated with tides, right? So burning a pile of shellfish, maybe?”
