The Wandering Inn_Volume 1, page 504
“[Lightning Jolt]. Simple, and relatively costless. I am naturally using the ambient mana to fuel the spell while drawing on minimal reserves of my own.”
Typhenous nodded appreciatively while Ryoka went over to Erin and explained why she shouldn’t hit Pisces with a pan.
“Only naturally. But can you keep your own output steady, young mage?”
Pisces smiled archly at him.
“My control is sublime, Typhenous. I shall cast the spell again once Ryoka has teleported the first time. And if we have a measuring tape, we may derive a very rough estimation of how the range of the spell decreases with each casting…”
“Right. So if we assume that was close to 100%, we’re at…about twelve and a half feet. And if I hop through the door and come back—two teleports…Pisces, will you do that again?”
Pisces obliged. This time everyone watched as the lightning shot out…and stopped a bit before the place where Pisces had marked with his cup.
Ryoka blinked as Pisces placed a spoon on the second spot.
“Oh wow. That doesn’t go down much. We might have to break out a ruler after all.”
“Well, a rough estimate is possible. I conclude that the distance of the first spell was roughly twelve and two thirds feet, Miss Griffin. As for the second measurement, it would be fair to say the spell decreased in length roughly two to three inches. With rough estimation, that would mean the distance of one hundred and fifty two inches decreased by three inches per two jumps, which would mean…”
Ryoka did the math faster than Pisces could.
“You could bring over fifty people to the inn and back before it ran out of juice. But that doesn’t account for how fast the door recharges.”
Pisces stopped. He blinked at Ryoka and cleared his throat. Ryoka saw Ceria sniggering at the [Necromancer] behind his back.
“Ah…yes. That is correct. Well, we shall account for those elements as well. Once the door’s mana is fully depleted, measuring the length of the [Lightning Jolt] spell after a set period of time would allow us to calculate the rate of passive mana absorption.”
Typhenous nodded.
“Of course.”
From her kitchen, Erin scratched her head. She looked at Ryoka and shrugged her shoulders.
“I don’t get it.”
Ryoka did. It wasn’t difficult math, although all the variables meant they’d need a lot of data to get good results. She saw Lyonette was watching them curiously, as was Mrsha. Yvlon and Ceria on the other hand looked like they weren’t able to follow the conversation at all. Ksmvr seemed to get it, but he was showing solidarity with his other teammates by pretending to be disinterested. And Revi was still poking herself with a dagger.
“Ow! Typhenous, we’re supposed to be testing the food, not checking on the stupid door!”
“Indulge me, please, Revi. I do enjoy this. And I seldom have the opportunity to speak with minds of similar inquiry.”
Typhenous waved at Revi and got a glare in response. From his seat on the floor, Moore got up and stepped carefully over to the mages and Ryoka. He smiled at them.
“I too would like to observe. And may I ask whether you intend to use the door as an involuntary translocation spell or as a portal effect? That may have a bearing on the mana cost.”
Typhenous and Pisces looked appraisingly at Moore. The half-Giant smiled at them. Typhenous cleared his throat.
“I believe young Pisces and I agreed that maintaining the portal effect was most efficacious, with the natural caveat that suddenly running out of mana would not adversely affect someone caught in the middle of transportation—which it does not—holds true.”
The other adventurers rubbed at their ears. Ryoka just rolled her eyes. [Mages] loved their fancy words, as much as any scholar. Mrsha shook her head and padded away and Erin went back into her kitchen, grumbling about an ‘older Pisces’. But Moore just nodded.
“I see. And the reason is?”
Pisces smiled and answered for Typhenous.
“Accidental transportation. If it were immediate, any contact with the door might trigger it, or a method of activation might be needed, all of which is far more complicated. An open portal allows for less disorientation as well.”
“Very true. Ah, I see that Pisces has managed to alter the enchantment. Miss Ryoka, will you be carrying this marker out to distances for us to test with?”
Moore handed the quite ordinary ceramic mug to Ryoka. She nearly dropped it and stared up at the half-Giant. Talk to him like a normal person. She knew that, but she had a horrible, horrible urge to call Moore a different name. She couldn’t help it. If he started waving around a pink umbrella, she’d really be in trouble.
“That’s right Ha—uh, Moore. I’ll run it out one mile to start and we’ll see how much energy that requires.”
Typhenous nodded.
“We may have to rely on a more precise spell to measure the energy consumption. I will consult with Moore and Pisces, although I believe a restrained [Flame Jet] spell would be more precise.”
Moore looked concerned.
“The inn is made of wood, Typhenous.”
“True. What would you suggest?”
Moore smiled and tapped the ground lightly with his huge staff. The floorboards suddenly sprouted a line of grass that shot forwards and ended at Ryoka’s foot. She gaped at the grass until it withered and faded, seconds later.
“Simple, accurate, and less dangerous to Miss Erin’s guests and her inn. Wouldn’t you agree?”
Pisces and Typhenous exchanged a glance. Then they stepped aside so Moore could get a better look at the door. They began speaking all at once as Ryoka grabbed the mug and headed towards the door. Pisces stroked his hairless chin in an imitation of Typhenous as he chattered with the others.
“For the purposes of experimentation, we must naturally use the instantaneous teleportation effect…”
“But how to differentiate between the costs for portal-style teleportation and instantaneous?”
“What if we configured the door leading to Celum and measured the difference between the two for the mana cost?”
“Of course. But if we are accounting for the variation in distance, we should also take measurements at different distances than simply one mile. I propose a sample at one mile, five, ten…”
“Only naturally. Has anyone a piece of parchment? I have a sheaf and some ink in my room if necessary.”
Pisces produced a slip of folded parchment. Moore opened his spellbook and took out a magical quill that needed no ink. Typhenous rubbed his hands together.
“Ah, good friends, it is a privilege to be working together with such fine minds. Shall we begin?”
—-
“They’re all nerds.”
Erin peered at the three mages standing around the door with narrowed eyes. Ceria paused as she gulped down the spicy meatballs made in Drake fashion. They were on a skewer, and meat to be dipped in a sauce Mrsha had gotten all over the fur on her face.
“What’s a nerd, Erin?”
“Uh, someone who talks about a lot of complex and weird stuff?”
Erin wavered. She didn’t mean she actually thought Pisces, Typhenous and Moore were lame or deserved to have their pants pulled down or have their heads swirled in a toilet. Not that she’d ever seen that happen in real life. Besides, if anyone tried that to Moore, he’d probably throw them through a wall.
Maybe not. Moore was nice. Ceria just shrugged.
“I’m actually glad Pisces has found other [Mages] he can talk to.”
Erin looked at her half-Elf friend.
“You don’t talk with Pisces about stuff like that?”
Ceria laughed.
“What? Magical theory and numbers that don’t make sense? No way! I can’t follow what they’re doing. Calculating a door’s mana supply from a spell that makes grass? How would that even work?”
Erin vaguely understood what they were doing, because Ryoka had explained it briefly to her and because she’d had to take classes in algebra and so on in high school. But she wasn’t surprised no one else got it. But it was surprising Ceria didn’t know.
“Wait, why don’t you understand? They’re talking about magic, right?”
“A kind of magic, Erin. They’re looking into the enchanting magic, but also spatial magic. Teleportation, you know? I don’t study that, and for good reason.”
Ceria put down her finished skewer of wood and grabbed another off of the plate. Across the table, Yvlon picked hers up and showed Ksmvr how to dip his with etiquette. On another table, Mrsha demonstrated how to eat like a savage. Ceria smiled as Lyonette tried to wipe Mrsha’s face and the Gnoll tried to avoid the clean cloth.
“Magic isn’t like that for me.”
“Really? What’s it like?”
“Magic is like…”
Ceria frowned. She conjured a small orb of water up with a flick of her hand, and as Erin watched, it fragmented into droplets and formed into a tiny replica of Ceria, which waved at Erin. Erin watched, open-mouthed as Ceria flicked the icy figure into the air. It shattered as it reached eye-level, and then landed on the table, a spatter of water droplets. Ceria breathed out and then grinned at Erin’s dumfounded expression.
“Whew, that’s tough. But magic is like that, see? I visualize my spells and put everything together just right. It’s hard to do earth magic and fire magic can get nasty if you don’t understand it right. But ice magic is like sculpting. You harden the ice here, lengthen it here…and you have a spike. It’s all seeing and concentrating, not…numbers.”
“Wait, so magic isn’t math?”
“Of course not!”
Someone interrupted their conversation. Erin looked over and saw Revi chewing on a meatball with a sour expression. The Stitch-girl’s tone was acerbic, but not exactly rude as she spoke to Erin.
“Magic isn’t the same for every mage, Miss Erin. Why would it be? Different schools use magic in different ways. Ceria specializes in destruction magic, in shaping her ice spells. But magic isn’t like that for me. I summon warriors. Magic is all about maintaining a link between myself and my spirits.”
“What’s it like?”
Revi hesitated. She drummed on the table and looked away before she replied.
“It’s rather like keeping a conversation up with all of my familiars. I have to maintain them, make sure there’s nothing wrong with their bindings, and I’m always looking for more. Magic is like collecting, exploring, augmenting what’s there. I slowly improve myself and the spirits I summon, buying new equipment for them, learning new ways to boost them with spells in combat…”
“Magic’s different for everyone it seems.”
Revi and Ceria nodded. Erin sighed. She wanted to learn magic, and knew that she couldn’t. Okay, in theory she could, but she didn’t have the raw talent or capacity Pisces and Ceria did. And…she didn’t really have the time. She had to get more help, like Ryoka said! It was just too bad she couldn’t throw around fireballs for fun now and then.
“Ah, is that food I see? Friends, let us adjourn for a moment.”
The other [Mages] had finally noticed that there was food on the tables. Typhenous, Pisces, and Moore came over to eat, and while they did Erin quizzed them on what magic was like.
Pisces snorted when he heard how Ceria practiced magic.
“Of course an [Elementalist] would think that way.”
Ceria threw a meatball at his head and he caught it in the air and levitated it onto his plate. Typhenous smiled at Erin and lowered his voice conspiratorially.
“Alas, it is the case where Revi and I have disagreed on the fundamentals of magic theory. A [Summoner] is…well, not the same as a general practitioner of the arts.”
“Up yours, Typhenous. Our spells are fine!”
“Yes, well, I’m sure they’re quite functional. For spells that require no adjustment and have little variation no matter how they’re cast.”
Pisces smirked and Typhenous smiled at him. Ceria muttered and flicked her fingers at them, showering the two [Mages] in snow. Typhenous blew it back at her and Revi hurled her plate at the two male [Mages].
There was a definite tension between the female mages and the male ones. Erin edged away. Mrsha and Lyonette stared at her as she joined their table.
“That wasn’t my fault.”
Someone popped into place in front of the door. Erin turned, and saw Ryoka, sweaty, looking about and scowling when she saw the eating mages.
“Hey! I just ran five miles. Get back over and finish testing!”
She snatched a plate full of the skewered meatballs from Moore and began scarfing them down, much like Mrsha. Actually, that was probably where the Gnoll was learning her table manners. Erin resolved to have a word with Ryoka about that.
While her friend was busying appearing and disappearing in the inn and the mages were arguing about the results, Erin had another visitor. It wasn’t Pawn or Bird—Lyonette told Erin they’d gone back to their Hive, much to her disappointment.
Instead, Klbkch came into the inn, looking for Ryoka. He got Erin instead, and didn’t seem put out by the trade.
“Sorry, Ryoka’s busy teleporting. But if you have time, I’d love to talk.”
“I have a reasonable supply of time, Erin. How may I help you?”
“I uh, I want to hire some of your people, Klbkch. And maybe upgrade my inn? Um. I can pay!”
Erin waited, looking hopefully at Klbkch as he sat with a plate of lukewarm meatballs in front of him. The Antinium Revalantor stared at her. He had a long gash down one arm, where the chitin was splintered. Was that new? Why hadn’t he healed it? After a minute Klbkch shook his head slightly, as if coming to.
“Ah. You never cease to surprise me, Erin.”
“Oh? Is that bad?”
“No. Rather…it would be fortuitous if not for the timing. May I ask what reason you have for this course of action?”
That was odd. Erin explained her problem with overwork as Klbkch nodded.
“Naturally this is an issue. So you wish to hire…?”
“Um. Garry? I know you’ve got lots of Workers and Soldiers, but I really need a [Cook]. And I get along so well with Garry and he’s a friend, so…”
Klbkch drummed his fingers on the table, thinking. At last he slowly shook his head.
“I regret that I cannot allow Garry to work at your inn, although I will naturally consult with you about construction costs and options.”
“Aw. Why not?”
The Antinium paused, and for some reason, looked awkward. He clicked his mandibles a few times before replying.
“My Queen…is partial to Garry’s skill at preparing food. I do not believe she would allow him to work elsewhere no matter how much gold was offered.”
“You mean she likes his cooking?”
“…Yes.”
“Well, I mean, that’s a bummer. But it’s okay. She probably needs to eat a lot because she’s uh, so, so…grand. Big. Huge. Gargantuan. Which is a good thing! Right?”
Klbkch wasn’t as quick to nod as Erin would have thought. He traced on the table with a finger, catching a tiny ant that had somehow wandered into her inn. He stared at it as Erin blinked at it and him. She wondered if he had a connection with—
He squished the ant and then picked up a meatball with the same fingers. Klbkch ate it slowly as he spoke.
“The…Queens of the Antinium are naturally large. However, this is not due to their need to birth eggs. That method is inefficient and was removed from our process long ago. Rather, Queens are normally composed of an extensive matter of brain. Sometimes Queens had bodies that were two thirds thinking matter. However my Queen merely emulates that fashion.”
It took Erin a moment to figure out what he was hinting at.
“You mean she’s…fat?”
Klbkch looked around the room slowly. Ksmvr sunk down low at his table as the Revelator spotted him. Yvlon scowled at Klbkch, but the Antinium just turned back to Erin and lowered his already quiet voice.
“I believe that she is the lightest of all the Queens on Izril by a considerable margin. She was the only Queen able to relocate herself to Liscor to start a new Hive, and as such she is still capable of movement.”
He paused and thought about that statement.
“For now.”
Erin had a horrible urge to start telling ‘yo mamma’ jokes about the Queen of the Free Antinium, but she resisted the impulse with difficulty. It wasn’t nice, although the Queen was a huge jerk. Plus, Erin couldn’t think of any good ones.
So instead she sighed and slumped over on the table.
“Too bad. I was really counting on getting Garry! But if the Queen wants her munchies…aw.”
Klbkch regarded Erin for a moment.
“I regret that I cannot allow you to take Garry. However, I would have to say the same of Anand, Belgrade, and Pawn. They all fulfill important roles within the Hive, now.”
“Yeah. And what would I get them to do? I mean, I could have them help Lyonette, but they’re not [Barmaids]. I’m going to talk with Safry and Maran about that anyways…although I could use some guards.”
“Indeed?”
Erin nodded, thinking. She hadn’t discussed that with Ryoka, but Selys had always told her she needed help. Of course, she’d gotten Toren after that…Erin pushed away the memory.
“Someone to stay here while I’m out and all the adventurers are away would be good. I don’t like leaving Lyonette and Mrsha by themselves, even if there is a magic door to Octavia’s shop. For that matter, what if trouble comes in through the door?”
“Indeed. That is a quandary. Would you hire an adventurer?”
“Maybe…but they cost a lot! With how much I make, I’d only be able to hire one. And Selys says the job isn’t popular, I mean, a bouncer or a guard has to stand around all day.”
“Indeed. It is an unenviable task in many respects.”
Erin sighed, thinking out loud.
“What I really need is someone who’s patient. Someone I know—only all my adventurer friends like adventure. It’s their thing. But I need a guard, and not Wesle! Someone who never gets bored, who has practically no life…”
