Debt of Honor: A Rough Romance, page 20
“Yeah, well, tell that to my boss.”
“Since when did you ever follow the damn rules?”
I had to laugh seeing the expression on his face. “Things are different. I don’t want to ruin her life.”
“Why would you? Because you’re a broken man? Because you don’t deserve to have happiness after what happened, the reason you were captured? You spent so much time trying to make certain I didn’t find another tall building that you forgot about your needs. Then you disappeared. Hell, I thought you were the one who’d offed yourself. I even called our old contact trying to find out. I don’t know the whole situation and I’m certainly not the best man to give you advice on women, but I can say this about life. It is worth living, but only if you allow yourself joy. Fucking find it, my friend, before it’s too late.”
His stare reminded me of the hard glare I’d given him so many times, usually when he wouldn’t shut the fuck up before we headed into enemy territory. I’d always thought his mouth would get us killed. When I said nothing, he shook his head, concentrating on his drink for a full minute.
“So what’s the plan? Are we laying low for a few days?”
I thought about his question. “Something smells about every bit of this.”
“Yeah, I figured you say that. Why don’t we piece together what we can tomorrow? I still have a few contacts I can hassle for info, and I’ll keep searching the dark web for chatter. Go spend time with that woman of yours before it’s too late.”
I nodded.
“Incidentally, she headed outside remaining close to the building. No big deal since the other security is in place. I just think you should go find her.”
He grinned before walking out of the room. I’d forgotten how much I’d missed spending time with him. I’d shut down everything for far too long.
Death had always been a part of my world, the concept never bothering me until the last mission. That’s when the weight of living had placed a heavy burden on my shoulders. Tonight it was suffocating, the moment of self-worth and every loss I’d experienced clawing at my insides. Jeremy had spoken of love, which is something I’d never wanted, had never believed in.
Until now.
But as the saying went, sometimes loving someone meant finding the courage to let the person go.
Only I wasn’t the kind of man to allow that to happen.
I needed Isabella in my life more than the air I breathed.
And nothing would stop me from making her mine.
Forever.
CHAPTER 14
Jagger
“I always wanted Tom to be your father,” my mother whispered. “He’s such a good man. He’s the only person who ever believed in me.”
I brushed hair from her pale face, trying to keep my shit together. There was no doubt she was dying, but for the first time in as long as I could remember, she was at peace. “It’s okay, Mama. I think I turned out just fine.” I’d searched for my birth father, the trail leading to a prison in Colorado. The man was a fucking murderer. I’d never wanted her to learn what I’d discovered. She’d tried to hide his identity, pretending he was a decent man who died in an accident.
Sighing, she closed her eyes, and I was forced to accept the time was close. I wanted to scream at her for dying on me, leaving me alone, but at least she’d never be forced to endure this kind of mental and physical torture again. “I love you, Mama.”
I was surprised when she grabbed my hand, squeezing it with more pressure than I thought possible. “I lied to you. I’m sorry.”
“What did you lie about?”
“Everything,” she sobbed. As she started to speak, her words were barely audible. I lowered my head, allowing her to whisper in my ear.
And seconds later, she was gone.
The memory had presented itself at the wrong damn time, her dying words ones I’d tried to forget, even though they’d altered the course of my life. Yet I’d ignored it. Why? I couldn’t answer.
Maybe that would come with time.
I stared at the glass of whiskey as I’d done so many times before then returned it to the bar untouched. As I yanked the envelope into my fingers, I wasn’t entirely certain the smartest thing wouldn’t be to burn it in the fireplace.
Sighing, I finally decided to open it, tugging the papers into my hand. After unfolding them, I closed my eyes briefly before making the commitment to find the truth.
As I shifted from one page to the other, I was surprised at my lack of emotion. Maybe that would come later or maybe I was remembering the various papers filled out by military doctors after my rescue. I shoved them back into the envelope, returning to the window.
Somehow, Jeremy’s words rephrased from what I’d told him continued to play out in my mind. Maybe he was right in his assessment. What I didn’t want was to remain alone. Not for tonight. Not for any additional nights.
I took the stairs two at a time, finding the door to the bedroom Jeremy had given her cracked. An invitation. I stood just outside for a full two minutes before moving past and heading to the guest room where I’d dropped my duffle bags. After yanking the papers into my hand for a second time, I balled the information in my fist, yanking the bag of clothes I’d brought from the closet and shoving the damning bullshit into one of the pockets.
When my hand hit the small box with the piece of jewelry, I pulled it out and leaned against the wall. Would there ever be a right time? Not in the middle of this shit. I headed down the hallway, slowly opening the door.
Two candles were lit but there was no other light in the room. The door leading to the balcony was open and there was soft music coming from at least two speakers in the room.
After finding her outside, I stood in the shadows watching her. When I walked out, she lifted her head toward the sky.
“I know. I shouldn’t be out here. I needed to see the storm,” she said in a quiet voice.
“It’s fine. The perimeter security is set. This isn’t a prison.”
“Isn’t it?” she asked as she took a deep breath. “I used to accuse my parents of keeping me in a cage when I was younger. It annoyed my father to death, which is why I did it. The house is amazing, the grounds exquisite, and I loved going into town, but even the beautiful architecture and incredible food can’t hide the fact I’m never going to be able to wake up a single day and be allowed to go anywhere I want without some security person following me. That might not seem like a big thing to you, but it’s suffocating.”
“I do understand. Maybe more than you realize.” I moved beside her, studying the tumultuous water. “You wrote a white paper on your thoughts regarding nuclear fission in college, didn’t you?”
She seemed taken aback. “I did. It was under the advisement and encouragement of a professor who believed in me. How did you find it?”
“I didn’t. Jeremy did. I’m surprised it remained active.”
Isabella took a deep breath. “From what I was told when my father was running for vice president, it had been erased, no longer available to anyone. I don’t understand how Jeremy found it.”
Neither did I. “Would your professor have kept a copy?”
Her laugh was strangled. “I’m certain he did. The man was a consummate professional, leaving the field of science where he was highly respected in order to teach, which he often told his students had been a tremendous goal. Is there an issue? Do you think the paper was seen by these Russians?”
That was exactly what I thought, but at this point, I wasn’t going to alarm her any more than she already was. “Anything is possible, princess, but I doubt the group as powerful as who I suspect is behind your attempted capture would be willing to base their efforts on a single white paper.”
“The man you met with outside the restaurant told you more than you’re willing to share with me.”
I moved closer, inhaling her scent, my cock aching. “His information will be checked thoroughly; however, it provides a further indication of what we’re facing.”
“You use stilted words, still thinking me incapable of handling the truth.”
“Trust me. When I learn the truth, you’ll be the first to know.” When she looked away, I could feel her shutting down. “What was the professor’s name?” I waited as she debated the damn question, as if she couldn’t trust me. “Isabella.”
“Leonard Vaskin. His father had been a legend at the University. You can’t tell me he’s responsible. I won’t believe it.”
I made a mental note, every muscle in my body tensing. There were too many loose ends. “As I told you before, nothing can be ruled out at this point.”
“He’s not the bad guy,” she insisted.
“I’m not saying he is.”
“But you’re not saying he’s not either. In other words, I can’t trust anyone. Everyone I thought was a protector or a mentor is being questioned.”
While I heard the angst in her tone, I refused to fill her full of disillusionment. “My job is to find out what harm we’ll continue to face.”
“You told me your job is to protect me. That doesn’t include interfering with lives of the only people I trusted growing up. Leave them alone.” Her anger was justified.
“I can’t do that, and you know it. Things have taken an ugly turn.”
Isabella’s laugh was like a knife cutting through me. “Fine, Cobra, or whatever your name is.”
“Jagger. Jagger Stone.”
It was obvious she was shocked I’d told her, the darkness unable to hide the imploring look in her eyes. Then she smiled, albeit thinly. “I like your name very much. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.”
I brushed my fingers down her arm, clinging to a level of rage that wouldn’t do either one of us any good. “It’s not about trust, Isabella. It’s about security.”
“I understand,” she whispered, looking toward the darkened ocean waters as she’d done before. “I was thinking. If I could access the computers at the lab, I could end this, at least one part of the horrible equation.”
She was serious. “You can’t do that. Don’t you think that by now the system has been hacked?”
“What about the United States government security system?”
I hated laughing, but it was my first reaction. “The Russians employ hackers to do nothing but glean whatever information they want, similar to people that are hired in the States. From my experience, there isn’t a single system that can’t eventually be hacked. The lab was torched to prevent continued development even without your formula. I doubt the responsible parties will stop there. Even if you did alter the formula more than you already have, that doesn’t give you or us a bargaining chip to use.”
Her eyes opened wide. “You’re going to use it just like they would.”
“In an entirely different way if it’s necessary.” In exchange for her life.
She bristled as I knew she would. “But in the end, they’ll torture me until I re-create it.”
“Yes.”
As her face fell, I pulled her into my arms. “But that’s not going to happen. Promise me you won’t attempt anything.”
“Fine. I promise.” She pulled away, studying my eyes.
“This will be over soon, then you can return to a normal life.”
As she laughed, I could hear the same kind of bitterness I’d felt for so long.
“You loved someone before. Didn’t you? You lost her. That’s one reason you’re so protective of me.”
While her question wasn’t a surprise, it still provided a heavy hit I wasn’t certain I was ready to face. But she deserved the truth, at least as much as I could tell her at this point. The past was something I had to shove aside. Jeremy was right, even though I hated to admit it.
“Briefly, or at least I thought I loved her. I didn’t know Kista very well, but we had a strong connection. It was the first time I’d felt something other than anger and hatred in years. She was a special girl, but we both knew it wouldn’t last.”
“Kista was from where you were stationed?”
“Yes. She worked some for the American Embassy, so she spoke perfect English. We struck up a friendship that led to something else. I shouldn’t have allowed our relationship to happen, but it can get very lonely in the desert.”
“I can only imagine. You don’t have to tell me what happened, but I suspect that’s why you’re so closed off.” She pressed her hand against her mouth, moving closer. “That was terrible for me to say after everything you endured.”
“No, you can say anything to me. I’ve been closed off for far too many years. Maybe it’s time I live again. On the day of the enemy attack, I’d gone to see her. I went against orders, but it was the day I was planning on telling her that I was about to be sent home. The whole team was being dispersed, sent to other areas. We thought we’d conquered the area, making it safe enough to leave only a few soldiers behind. We were wrong. I was at the embassy when the attack started. The shit got bad quickly. The roads were blocked. I had to take a different route that pulled me into enemy territory.”
“That’s when you were captured.”
“Not immediately. I was able to take out several enemies, making my way back to the area. I saved several lives, but we were attacked again. I grabbed one of the vehicles, determined to take revenge. The truck was ambushed, the insurgents taking me several miles from the camp. I heard hundreds of explosions from where they kept me the first few days. I found out after my rescue that our camp was annihilated.”
“And the embassy?”
I faltered, trying to formulate the words. “It was blown up. She never made it out alive.”
She squeezed my arm. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. If I’d remained with my team, maybe some of them would still be alive today.”
“Or maybe you’d be dead. Did you ever think that you were spared for a reason?”
Laughing bitterly, I knew she meant well, but it couldn’t ease the continuous pain. “I’ve been told that a few times. I didn’t care to listen.”
“And now?”
I brushed my fingers across her face, the shudder of electricity matching the hard crack of lightning flashing across the sky. All the pent-up energy I’d felt throughout the day came to a crashing halt. All I wanted to do was sink my cock deep inside, burying myself in her wetness. I needed to feel her swollen folds around me, providing the very joy that Jeremy had mentioned.
As I cupped both sides of her face, I felt the kind of hunger burning in my system that could never be sated, a fire in my belly that stretched from my groin to my chest. The rush of adrenaline was powerful, ripping at my insides while the touch of her burned holes in my skin.
“I need to fuck you. Right here. Right now.”
She nodded, tilting her head and nuzzling against my hand. I’d never felt so possessive, the need unfolding like a wave swirling in hurricane force winds. As I rubbed my thumb across her lips, the beast inside of me broke through the surface. I slashed my thumb back and forth, harder. Rougher. My chest rose and fell as pain tore through me.
Her whimper dragged me away from the need to consume her. I turned her around, tossing her against the iron railing, pushing my hand under her dress until I was able to wrap my fingers around the elastic portion of her panties. With a quick snap of my wrist, I ripped them away, both of us watching as they floated toward the ocean to be consumed by the darkness.
Gasping, she opened her legs, staring out at the sea. “I can’t wait any longer. I need you inside.”
I unfastened my belt and trousers, yanking my aching cock free. As I drove it deep inside of her, she rose onto her toes, her breath skipping as she moaned. I wanted more of her. I needed everything she had to give. I pulled out, slamming into her again, growling as her pussy muscles clamped around my wide girth. My shaft continued to ache, the agony of heartache and loss building. I could no longer focus, my mind a freaking mess. All that mattered to me was taking her.
Using her.
Fucking her.
I bent my head, biting her earlobe then raking my teeth down the side of her neck. When I bit down, her entire body began to shake.
“Yes. Yes.” Every sound she made, every whimper escaping her mouth fueled my desire, turning it into an inferno. I fisted her hair, yanking her head to the side, whispering filthy, harsh words that she would remember for a long time.
“You are mine. No one will ever touch you again. Never. If they do, I will kill them.”
She shuddered in my hold, panting as I fucked her like a crazed animal. The heat continued to build between us, so fucking combustible but I didn’t care.
“Harder,” she murmured.
I kept her head at an awkward angle, driving into her with such force she was slammed into the railing. And still, I couldn’t find satisfaction. When I rolled onto the balls of my feet, I yanked on her hips, forcing her into a deep arc.
Her cries continued, floating out toward the night sky. Another crack of lightning electrified the sky, sending a shower of color across the water’s surface.
“Yes. That’s it. Oh. Oh…”
As her body started to shake, I refused to stop, pushing her limits, thrusting brutally. Every muscle tensed, my mind spinning out of control. I wanted her. I needed her.
I would never let her go.
God help me, she was mine.
“Yes. Oh…” Her body shuddered against me as an orgasm swept through her.
“Baby. Come again. Come for me.”
She obeyed my command, her legs spasming as the orgasm swept through her. The slapping of our bodies became more desperate, so brutal I was terrified I was hurting her but with every sound I could tell she wanted more.
Demanded more.
I couldn’t stop, the ache killing me. I kept my firm hold on her hair, digging my fingers into her scalp, sweat sliding down from my forehead. My needs were savage and powerful, requiring fulfillment. Everything was a blur, every sound I made guttural, my dick aching to the point I was blinded from the pain. I delivered two hard cracks against her bottom, the sting in my palm creating another wave of energy.
