Dangerous Addiction: A Dark Bratva Romance, page 18
This shit was going to stop.
Still frustrated, I moved toward the hallway, stopping long enough to glance into the second bedroom, even turning on the light. As I walked in, another sense of sadness pulled at my mind as well as my heart. Some people enjoyed having families, never knowing what kind of evil lurked in every shadow and around every corner. They went about their daily lives, pretending that their little world was protected. There wasn’t a single person on this earth that I couldn’t hunt down, destroying their fragile lives with one decision or the pull of a trigger.
That meant it was true on the flipside. If someone was out to destroy my life, they would continue to try until they succeeded.
I moved toward the small bed in the room, brushing my fingers across the headboard, the sweet carvings of furry animals delighting any child.
Until they turned into ravaging creatures with sharp canines.
I almost laughed at the imagery, my body tensing the longer I stood in the room. After a few seconds, I backed out, flipping off the light and shutting the door. I didn’t need another reminder of what I didn’t have in my life.
Having a family wasn’t in the cards for a man like me.
As I shifted my attention to the other room, I was glad I’d left the light on by the bed. At least I could tell she was resting peacefully from the doorway. Still, I was drawn further inside, walking to the other side of the bed where she lay sleeping. As I peered down, I reached toward her face, curling my fingers at the last minute and pulling my arm away.
Who are you? Why are you stuck in the middle of this?
I glanced toward the picture, taking it into my hands and staring at the happiness all three of them exuded. Goddamn it. Maybe I didn’t want anyone to experience the kind of joy they obviously were. Another round of anger swept through me like a lightning rod. Disgusted, I almost dropped the frame in my effort to return the photograph to its rightful place.
Huffing, I headed for the door, prepared to keep watch all night.
Then I heard the rustle of covers and stopped just inside the doorway.
“You were outside,” Walker said, her tone soft and inviting.
“Yes. I heard a noise.”
“Is that what you have to do every day of your life, check behind you?”
I chuckled under my breath. “At times.”
“Doesn’t that get old?” she asked as she yawned.
“At times.”
This time, she laughed. Then the covers rustled again. “Why don’t you get some sleep? You can stay right here. I promise I won’t bite. I mean…” Her laugh had a nervous twinge, the sound seductive, my cock aching all over again. Given I was the carnivore, I would be the one doing the biting. At least the thought gave me a smile.
My entire body tensed from her simple question. There was nothing I wanted more than to crawl into bed with her, but that wasn’t in our best interest. “Go back to sleep. I’ll be just outside.”
“Don’t go, Maksim. I’m no fool. When we leave this space, I’ll become just a nuisance that you’ve had to deal with all over again. I know that. However, tonight is… different. Isn’t it?”
Her question was too difficult to answer. I fisted my hand, the other wrapped tightly around my weapon. How many nights had I spent without my gun by my side, another in the drawer, and still at least two more in close proximity? I always had to be prepared, even though I thought I’d had tight security on my house. What a crock. Maybe there would never be any location safe enough to allow my guard to fall.
When I didn’t answer her right away, I could tell she was mumbling under her breath.
“What you’re doing is just existing, Maksim. Not living. All the power and money that you have yet I feel so sorry for you.”
I rubbed my eyes, the ache behind them likely to remain for days if not weeks. Of course she was right, but I’d attempted to have a life once upon a time. I hadn’t just failed. I’d allowed that guard to fall, pretending that nothing bad could happen.
And I’d been wrong.
So damn wrong.
I took another step toward the door, determined to keep my resolve, but goddamn it, I wanted her all over again. The warmth of her body. The touch of her hand. All the need I’d insisted she would feel was exactly what I was feeling myself. I was such a fucking fool.
Tension was a part of my life as well but the only time I hadn’t felt the kind of muscle ripping strain on my entire system had been only a few hours before. Jesus Christ. I wasn’t just falling hard for the girl. I was falling in love with her.
As I turned slowly, I could feel the increase in my heartrate, my pulse ticking quickly. Seeing her long raven hair splayed out over the pillow was too much for me to take. I advanced like the damn predator I was, jerking off my shoes and trousers, throwing back the covers.
She’d pulled out one of the tee shirts I’d packed for her, the soft material outlining her voluptuous body far too well. She scooted toward the other side, raising onto her elbow and staring at me with such intensity that I was sucked of all the anger and venom. I carefully placed the weapon inside the nightstand drawer. No one was getting inside this room.
When I crawled under the covers, she was the one who pulled them over my heated body, acting as if she was going to tuck me in. Then she lowered her head, keeping her gaze pinned in my direction, a slight smile on her lovely face. The woman had no idea how enthralling she was, the hint of vulnerability adding to the draw of her kind demeanor and flawless porcelain skin.
I turned on my side to face her, the warm amber glow hiding a portion of her features. I wasn’t the kind of man who could handle small talk, but I was tired of grilling her about things she obviously didn’t know. “I’m curious. Did you always want to be a nurse?”
“Oh, hell, no.”
Her answer surprised me, enough so I burst into laughter. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“When I was a kid, the sight of blood made me faint. I wanted to be a ballerina, but Mom couldn’t afford lessons so by the time I was ten, I knew that wasn’t going to work out. What did you want to be, certainly not a doctor?”
“I don’t know really. My father always geared me toward following in his footsteps. That’s all I ever knew.”
“And your mother left Russia?”
I realized that only one other person had asked me the question before. “She couldn’t stand the Bratva life. When she was offered a scholarship to an American school, her father allowed her to go with the condition she return. Of course, she refused. By that point, she was already engaged.”
“But she loves her country enough to teach you about your heritage.”
“True, but I think she felt like it was her duty, although some stories were amazing ones. Like you, she wanted to become a ballerina. She had a chance until her father pulled her out of the lifestyle, telling her it was too dangerous. That’s when she knew she couldn’t stand living the way she had for the rest of her life.”
Walker crowded closer, enough so I found it next to impossible to keep my hands off her luscious body.
“Yet after she told you about her experiences, you chose the life. Why?”
“I don’t have the kind of answer you need me to tell you. You can’t mold me into the hero you obviously need in your life. I’m not a good man and I never have been. My darkness has always driven me toward what my mother hoped wasn’t in my blood, but it was.”
“I don’t need a hero, Maksim, and I’m a pretty good judge of character. You are a good man, although for some reason you’re hiding behind a façade, but I think that’s all about pain you’ve experienced in your life. You let your demons guide you instead of you pushing them away. Until you do so, you won’t truly understand what’s most important to you.”
My resolve started to crumble around her again. Using my knuckle, I eased hair away from her face, brushing my fingers down her cheek to her neck. She didn’t tense or pull away, but she sighed as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders. She truly thought she could fix me, pulling me away from the only world where I’d felt that I’d fit in. How tragic it would be for her when she realized that her first assumptions were correct.
She fingered my chin, sliding the tip of her finger back and forth across my jaw, the two-day stubble that was unusual for me to keep. “You’d look very good with a beard.”
I pulled her hand into mine, pressing a kiss against her palm. “That’s never going to happen.”
“You know what they say. Never say never.”
“I’ll try and remember that.” As I gazed into her eyes, I wanted nothing more than to keep her protected. That might become impossible. “You’re Italian.”
“How ever did you guess?” she asked, giggling for the first time. “Yes, so it would seem, but certainly not on my mother’s side. She’s a natural blonde with huge blue eyes. Look what happened to me.”
“I think you grabbed the better end of the deal.”
“You do, huh?”
“Yes, I do.”
She pulled her hand away, continuing to trace my face. “Whatever happens, Maksim, I don’t care about money or who my father is. I’d be lying if I said the condo wasn’t an incredible gift, but I’m not certain I could ever stay there again after what happened with Jack. I don’t need a fortune, just enough to pay my bills and maybe get a nicer car one day. I’m a simple girl who happens to love her job.”
“What else do you love?”
“I don’t know. Does it matter?”
I tweaked her nipple as a reminder I was very much in charge.
“Fine. I like rain showers in the spring and the first snow of the season. I adore Christmas lights and window shopping, hating that so much has gone to the internet. What do you want to know?”
“Anything you want to tell me,” I said in a husky voice, my cock aching and my balls tight as drums. Just her scent alone was enough to push me over the edge, taking her without hesitation. I could tell by the way her lower lip twitched that she knew all the carnal thoughts racing in the back of my mind.
“I love the color purple. My favorite food is pizza. I love almost any kind of wine and my favorite thing in the world is experiencing a new winery.”
“How old are you?”
The look she gave me could turn a man into stone. “You know better than to ask a lady her age.”
All I had to do was give her an intense look although she rolled her eyes.
“I’m twenty-seven. How old are you?”
“Older.”
She made certain that her expression was harsher than mine, which allowed me to laugh.
“Almost thirty-one.”
“A babe in the woods. Now, it’s your turn.”
“What do you want to know?”
She inched even closer until I could feel her hot breath, the tickle drawing my beast closer to the surface. When she lifted her head, brushing her lips across my chin, electricity skittered into every muscle and tendon. “Whatever you want to tell me.”
“Mmm… I like steak, the rarer the better. I don’t like rain and snow I could do without. Give me a hot day on the beach and I’m happy. However, going to a winery does sound enjoyable.”
“Hmm… Then maybe.”
I couldn’t stand it any longer. The draw to her, our intense connection was stronger than anything I’d felt, including with the one woman I’d thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. As I rubbed my hand down Walker’s back, she shuddered audibly, the sound driving me crazy.
“Being around you is dangerous,” she murmured.
“Perhaps but being around you is an addiction.”
She sighed, crawling her fingers down my chest, dipping them under the covers. When she wrapped her hand around my cock, I couldn’t resist issuing several deep growls.
“Be careful, little bird. I could eat you alive.”
“Go ahead and try. I’m tougher than you think.”
There was no sense in trying to resist her any longer. I shifted Walker onto her back, moving over her and pushing my hand against the bed, hovering over her. As I brushed my fingers down her face, she shivered visibly, stroking my shaft until I was hard as a rock.
“I don’t need you to be tough, Walker. I need you to let yourself go.”
“I’m not certain I can do that around you.”
I laughed softly, enjoying every sensation tingling my fingers. “You already have.” As I crushed my lips over hers, she arched her back, opening her legs in a blatant offer. I felt every movement as she positioned the tip of my cock just past her swollen folds. I wanted nothing more than to erupt deep inside of her, filling her with my seed. Everything about this moment was cathartic, as if in taking her this way meant there was no turning back.
The deep cravings I had for her, the intensity of the electricity we shared was something that would likely never be denied again. I wanted all of her. Every touch. Every private moment.
Every inch.
My possessive nature took over and the moment I thrust the entire length of my cock inside her tight channel, I threw my head back and roared. The sound was strangled, yet a crazy admittance that I didn’t want to live without her.
She moaned into the kiss as her muscles expanded, accepting the thickness even as my shaft continued to expand. When she wrapped her long legs around me, I pressed my fist against the bed, sliding my tongue past her still swollen lips. There was nothing like the taste of her, sweet like honey. My mind exploded with all the nasty things I wanted to do to her.
With her.
I could share everything with her, even though I knew that wasn’t in either of our best interests. Yet she was the one, the creature who’d finally smashed all the chains. I remained floored at how much I cared about her and as I plunged deep and hard, every part of her reacted to the brutal fucking, the skin on her face shimmering, her breathing skipping several beats.
She swept her tongue back and forth across mine as she slid her hand over my shoulder, digging her long nails into my neck. The way she held me tightly was a clear indication of our strong connection. I slowed my actions, driving inside in slow and deliberate actions. When I finally broke the kiss, I pressed my lips against her cheek, taking shallow breaths. Everything about her was intoxicating, keeping my body tense, my heart thudding to the point I had difficulty breathing.
I pulled further away, enjoying nothing more than being able to gaze into her eyes. Her pupils were dilated, her long lashes skimming across her rosy cheeks. How could I avoid falling in love with her?
The question remained in the forefront of my mind as I continued fucking her—making love to her.
With her.
I pulled first one of her arms over her head then the other, intertwining our fingers as I continued thrusting. We locked eyes, which we’d done before, but this time was entirely different. It was as if we were both peeling away layers of anger and fear, years of countless searching for the right one. I almost laughed at my realization, but nothing about this was amusing.
She was mine.
Mine to take and taste.
Mine to love.
And no one was going to take her away from me, so help me God.
Mere seconds later, she tensed, her breathing rapid. She squeezed her knees against my heated body, arching her back as much as our hold would allow, her mouth pursing. I could tell she was close to an orgasm.
“Come for me, baby. Let yourself go.”
She purred softly, tossing her head back and forth as her pussy muscles clamped around my cock. As her body started to tremble, I pumped deep and hard, wanting nothing more than the feel of the lovely woman letting go.
“Oh. Maksim,” she murmured, her eyes now half closed. As she continued shaking, she did everything she could to jerk out of my hold, her body convulsing. There was nothing more beautiful than when she released, a climax sweeping through her.
I finally closed my eyes, driving into her with wild abandon. Everything about this moment was perfect. She was a gentle soul, a gorgeous flower allowing a monster to drink her nectar. I wanted nothing more than to consume her, savoring every moment as the shower of electricity continued to pelt through both of us.
“Yes. Yes. Yes!” She jerked hard against me, her fingers digging into mine.
I could tell a single orgasm powered into a second. I wanted nothing more than for her to enjoy every moment, but I was ready to lose control, my cock aching to erupt.
Walker managed to free one of her hands, sliding it down my back and pulling me closer. That’s all I could take. As my balls filled with cum, I threw back my head, refusing to accept that I might lose her.
No. That wasn’t going to happen.
As of now, not a single soul on this fucking planet would take her away from me.
If they tried, they would die by my hands.
“I could fall in love with you,” she breathed.
As I erupted, I let go of her hand, enjoying the way she clung to me. Even though I’d never felt closer to anyone in my life, when I heard her soft murmur, I realized that I would be her ultimate demise.
And that wasn’t acceptable.
Maksim!
The single word jerked me from a deep slumber. As my eyes snapped open, I took several strangled breaths, blinking as I tried to focus. What the hell? A rush of memories floated into my mind, and I jerked my head to the side, now gasping for air.
Who the fuck had called out my name?
After controlling my breathing, I realized that Walker was still sleeping peacefully. I was shocked I’d actually fallen asleep, the slight hint of morning light coming in through the blinds disturbing. My intent had been to leave her sleeping, returning to the living room. I raked my hand through my hair, angry that I’d lost control.
I turned my attention toward Walker once again, easing my arm from under her. The words she’d said still burned in the back of my mind. How could she love someone like me? That didn’t make any sense, especially given everything that had occurred between us. My nerves remained on edge. Waking up because my name had been called was unusual, but my gut told me something was wrong.
