Three Novel Nymphs, page 4
“Precisely. You can’t. So you won.”
Nydia looked at the others in her party. They looked as blank as she felt.
“Rule Two is that when you lose, you must announce it loudly and publicly, causing others who hear you to lose it too.”
Nydia was feeling really stupid. “How could anyone win a game like that? Just knowing the rules makes them lose.”
“Exactly. You won by not learning the rules. We’re glad. You seem like nice people.”
Nydia lacked intelligence, but caught another faint glimmer. “You seem like nice people too. I gather you’re not prejudiced against nymphs.”
Colleen pursed her lips but did not speak. Possibly she felt that nymphs were all right in their place, but she did not want one getting too close to her husband.
“Nymphs are like the Game,” Pat said. “They don’t know any better so they’re all right.”
“Our ignorance helps us?”
“It’s like the Mundane Bible story. Adam and Eve couldn’t sin because they had no knowledge of sin. Only when they ate the apple from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil did they catch on, and then it was too late. They were booted from the Garden of Eden, and their descendants have been sinning ever since. Your ignorance of the Game prevented you from losing it.”
Nydia’s head felt as if it were spinning. This was way too complicated for her. “So we lucked out?”
“Yes. And we are glad for you. We’d have hated to be the cause of your failure to see the Good Magician.”
He seemed to be sincere. “Thank you, I guess.”
Noletta and Nerine had been chatting with Colleen. Now they bid her farewell. Woe and Quintessa hugged. Then they moved on.
“That was not what I expected,” Noletta said. “They were actually on our side.”
“Weird,” Nerine agreed.
The path wound through a grove of pretty poplar trees, followed by ugly unpopular trees. They passed a big bed with a head at one end and two huge solid feet at the other. Did the Good Magician think they were going to lie down on it and sleep?
But a little warning voice whispered in Nydia’s head. Everything was here for a reason. What was the reason for this one?
She couldn’t be bothered at this stage. There was surely danger lurking nearby.
There before them, suddenly, was a giant insect. No, it was, well, a girl, maybe. It had both human and insectoid features, and leg spurs like porcupine quills. It looked formidable. And hungry.
They paused. The monster stood right astride the path; they could not get around it. So this was a Challenge. They had to get past it without getting their heads bitten off.
Their heads? That gave her the clue. “It’s a praying mantis!” Nydia exclaimed, horrified. “They eat folk, including their heads.” For now she also saw the huge angled pincers of the forelegs.
“Yes,” the Mantis Girl answered. “I am Orchard Mantis, most fearful of monsters. I even practice kung fu. And you look tasty indeed.”
“Run!” Nydia cried, properly terrified. She had no idea what kung fu was, but it sounded dangerous. Maybe threats were not real here, but they could be scary as bleep.
They ran back up the path. But the mantis girl followed, taking much bigger strides than they could manage. Soon she would catch them.
Then they were up against the bed. They ran around it, trying to keep it between them and Orchard Mantis, but she was about to reach over it and nab them anyway.
Nerine dropped to her knees beside one of the feet of the bed. “What are you doing?!” Nydia asked, managing to invoke two punctuation marks at once.
“I’m praying,” Nerine said. “It’s the only way to save my feeble hide.”
The only way? It was no way at all! Mundania had gods folk could pray to, but Xanth was something else. No deity would rescue her. The monster would pluck her still form, crush her into juicy pulp with its pincers, and gobble her down in two or three pieces.
“She’s right,” Noletta said, dropping to her knees at another foot. “We must pray for deliverance.”
Woe Betide began to cry. The monster couldn’t really hurt her, but she might not fully understand that at her age.
This was crazy! Nydia was appalled as well as frightened. But what else was there to do but give up? They were lost anyway. So she dropped to her knees between them. Woe Betide floated beside her, whimpering. At least they would all go together.
The monster loomed over them. Her giant pincers clacked menacingly. Then she got down on the other side of the bed, no longer chasing them.
And Nydia suffered a revelation. Orchard was a praying mantis. Of course she had to join the prayer!
“I’m glad you caught on,” Orchard murmured. “You wouldn’t have tasted very good, all stressed out.” She rose and walked away.
They had survived the second Challenge as much by blind luck as reasoning. But what about the third? Could sheer chance get them through one more time? Nydia doubted it. But, again, what choice did they have?
There was nothing to do but get on with it. They walked warily down the path and crossed the line between Challenges.
There was a girl. Not a horrendous creature, just a faintly pretty brown-haired young woman sitting on what appeared to be a ramp. Could this be the dreaded Third Challenge?
“Hello,” Nydia called hesitantly.
The girl glanced their way. “Oh. Hello. You must be the new Challengees.”
“Yes. Are you the Challenge?”
“Maybe. I don’t know. It’s my job to maintain this ramp.”
She didn’t know? Why else could she be here?
“Let’s talk,” Nydia said. “We are three nymphs and a child hoping to ask the Good Magician a Question. Who are you?”
“I am Corona. My name means glowing circle, though I don’t glow and I’m not circular. I get endlessly teased about it. My talent is to make invisible print appear. They ridicule that too. I asked the Good Magician how I could find a really good and understanding boyfriend. I’d like to travel some, see the rest of Xanth, but the boys in my village just want, well, nymphs, not girls with minds. They sneak out to the F&N Retreat all the time. The nymphs there never say no.” She glanced questioningly at them. “You’re nymphs? You’re pretty, but you seem more like real folk.”
“We’re trying to be,” Noletta said. “But it’s complicated.”
Nydia got a glimmer. “And the Good Magician told you that the right man would be waiting for you when you finished your Service and left here.”
“Yes. How did you know?”
“A lucky guess. Do you have much of your Service left?”
“No. This is the last day of my year. I have maintained this ramp throughout, but have no idea what it’s good for.” Her lips quirked. “Not even one thing, maybe.”
Nydia studied the ramp. It led right to the edge of the castle environment and broke off. There was nothing beyond except empty land. Anyone who walked it would fall off and land outside, not inside the castle. Obviously that was not for them.
Then she saw the glowing sun, low in the sky, as it was near the end of the day. The sun always ducked behind the horizon so as not to get caught by the looming darkness of night. But there was something wrong with it. There was a sore on its surface. “What’s wrong with the sun?”
“It’s got a virus on its outer circle,” Corona said.
“A corona virus.”
“Yes, like my name. I hope I didn’t infect it. I hate to see it suffer.”
Nydia summoned another memory of her smart phase. There had to be a connection. She peered at the sun as it passed below the ramp. “I think I’ve got it! You must run up the ramp and jump on the sun as it sinks beneath the end.”
“But wouldn’t I get burned? The sun’s hot.”
“I think not. You are at the end of your Service. You are about to get ejected from the Good Magician’s property. Your name is Corona. You will give the sun a coronal injection which will cure it. It won’t burn you; it will be grateful.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m not sure. But it seems very likely. Otherwise, all this is beyond coincidence.”
“There’s someone walking outside,” Noletta said. “I think it’s Trade.”
“Right on schedule. He is the man for you, Corona. Quick, run up that ramp and jump! You won’t regret it.”
She spoke with such authority that the girl obeyed. She ran up the ramp and jumped right onto the sun. She bounced off it, unhurt, and Trade was there to catch her. He set her down carefully as they talked. Then they kissed. Little hearts flew out. Both of them waved to the nymphs.
And the sun glowed brightly as it sank below the horizon. Contact with Corona’s ejection injection had cured it.
They had somehow navigated the Third Challenge.
Now the path led straight to the bridge across the moat. The moat monster eyed them but made no hostile move as they crossed. It evidently knew they had won admission.
As they reached the castle, a door opened. A middle-aged woman stood there. “Welcome to the Castle, Nydia, Noletta, and Nerine,” she said. She frowned. “Woe Betide is not welcomed but tolerated as long as she stays in that form and keeps her mouth shut. I am Wira, the Good Magician’s daughter-in-law. I handle household incidentals. I will conduct you to the Wife of the Month, who is Sofia Socksorter.”
They were silent. Wira obviously knew all about them. They followed her into the Castle, down a hall, and to a workroom where a Mundane lady sat sorting through an immense pile of socks.
“They are here, Sofia,” Wira said, and faded out.
Startled, Sofia looked up. “My apologies, all. I lost track of the time. I swear the socks accumulate faster than they can be sorted. Humfrey married me so he could catch up on them, but I just assumed my wifely turn yesterday and there’s a five-month backlog. I need to clear the floor.”
Nydia suffered two revelations. First, that her intelligence was back. Second, that Sofia needed help. “What can we do?”
The woman didn’t protest. “Sort them into piles by color and type. If any cling to you, save them out. They will be yours.”
Even smarts did not help here. “Ours?”
“Humfrey instructed me to get you socks that are resistant to hazards of fire, water, air, and earth. I don’t know why.”
“But aren’t socks merely cushioning for the feet?”
“Let me explain. Humfrey is the Magician of Information, but over the course of centuries the magic has smeared somewhat and verges into some physical properties. Among these are resistance to the elements.”
“Centuries?” Noletta asked.
“He’s getting on toward two centuries old. He takes Youth Elixir to keep his physical age at about one hundred. The magic of his presence is absorbed by the socks he wears. Some have hardly any magic, but others are potent, especially in the smell. I wash them, but the magic won’t wash out. Anyway, some protect not only the feet, but the whole rest of the body from damage by the elements. Those are the ones for you.”
And she didn’t know why. This story had started out odd and was becoming downright strange. It almost seemed to be about more than just nymphs.
Then she suffered another flash: it hadn’t been sheer luck that got them through the Challenges. The Good Magician had wanted them to reach him.
But still the Question: why? The Good Magician had his quirks, but foolishness was not among them. This was still not making much sense.
They sat cross-legged on the floor around the pile and got to work sorting the socks, except for Woe Betide. She tried to pick one up, but it hissed like an angry insect and wriggled out of her hand. Indeed, she was not welcome here. She started to cloud up.
Nydia gave her a reassuring hug. “You can supervise,” she said. “Just watch the rest of us work and make sure we do it right.”
“Gee,” she agreed, comforted.
“You’ve got the touch, Nydia,” Sofia said approvingly. “Someday you will make your own child very happy.”
Nydia opened her mouth to protest, but stifled it, realizing that if they actually managed to become real people, the storks would no longer ignore their signals and she could get a delivery. What a change that would be! The other nymphs looked thoughtful, sharing similar musings.
Soon there were several growing piles of different colored socks. “Wira said you are the Wife of the Month,” Noletta said. “I thought a man kept the same wife from month to month. Did I hear it wrong?”
Sofia laughed. “No, you heard right. Over the decades, Humfrey outlived his wives, including me. When they died, they went to Hell, which is not actually a bad place, merely uncomfortable. Then when his last wife, the Gorgon, died, he had had enough. He got a hand basket and rode it to Hell to demand her return. The proprietor obliged, but with a caveat.” She smiled. “Yes, I know you encountered a cave by that name. It’s a useful term. In this case, he got back all five and a half wives at once. Since this is against the normal protocol, we make do by alternating. One of us joins him each month. This is my month. Actually, he’s so grumpy that we’re glad for the relief.”
“Half a wife?” Nerine asked.
“That’s MareAnn, his first love. They were only fifteen, still naive. Her talent is summoning equines. She was afraid that if she married him and learned the secrets of the Adult Conspiracy, she would lose her innocence and no longer be able to summon unicorns. So she declined, though she loved him. But after experiencing Hell she concluded that marriage couldn’t be much worse on innocence than that, so she married him in a very small ceremony. So it only counted for half. She’s a nice girl, and we all like her.”
Nydia set an iridescent sock down to start a new pile. It clung to her hand. She used her other hand to pull it off, but then it stuck to the other. “Bleep,” she muttered.
“Oh, you found one,” Sofia said. “Put it on.”
Oh. Her protective sock. Nydia pulled off one slipper and sock and pulled on the new one, then replaced the slipper. The sock fit perfectly and was completely comfortable.
Soon the others found their socks and put them on. Nydia found her second sock. They were dressed, as it were.
Except for Nerine. “I have three,” she said somewhat plaintively.
“Keep it,” Sofia said. “Carry it in a pocket. Sometimes a sock gets a hole, or lost. You will have a spare.”
“Oh.” The nymph tucked the sock into a pocket.
Nydia wondered about that. The socks had really selected themselves. Why had an extra one oriented on Nerine?
Wira appeared. “Himself is ready.”
“Who?” Nydia asked.
“Another explanation,” Sofia said. “One of the wives started referring to Humfrey, the Good Magician, as Himself, perhaps because she regarded him as full of himself, because of his knowledge and grumpiness. Soon it spread, and now we all use it.” She shrugged. “Don’t get us wrong. We’re glad to be his wives, and we know he means well, but at times we do get a smidgen impatient. We are by no means rivals, but rather compatriots in arms, as it were.”
Oh, again. They got up. This was, after all, what they had come for.
“Perhaps, for this, the child should stay with me,” Sofia said.
So she wouldn’t be right in the Good Magician’s face. Even Woe nodded. Why push her luck?
The three followed Wira up a winding flight of steps to a cubbyhole of a room mainly filled by a giant open book on the table beneath. This was of course the Book of Answers. Behind it sat a gnome of a man who looked about a century old.
“Sir, the nymphs are here,” Wira said, and faded again. This time Nydia watched to catch it, and saw that she merely departed quietly. No magic, merely stepping out of the central focus.
The gnome looked up. “You’ve got the socks on,” he grumped.
Nydia had had enough. “Yes, Sofia told us to don them. Why are we here?” she demanded.
The ancient face focused on her. “Why are you suspicious, nymph?”
Nydia knew this was foolish, but her temper was chomping at the bit. “None of this was coincidence. The way that slippery gully veered too close to the Retreat border, catching Nerine when she stumbled across, trapping her and then we other two when we tried to help her. The way the nosy demoness happened by just at that moment with the news that I was the new protagonist of a novel story. The way that Caveat Cave was so convenient, with that Ein Stein set right in the center to arouse my thirst and make me smart. The clothing right there so we wouldn’t be naked any more. Trader Troll, with his talents for kisses. The way the Challenges seemed to luck out in our favor so we made it through them all when we should have washed out on the first one, or been eaten by the Mantis, or let Corona finish her term and depart without curing the sun, so that we lost by default. Finally, the socks, to protect us from what? What horrendous mission have you selected us for, that needs such security? Are we chosen to be sacrifices to some impossible cause we know nothing about? Because we are expendable?”
“Yes.”
She was startled. “You admit it? Then tell us why? Why stupid, talentless nymphs who are supposed to be good for only one thing?” The other two were silent, letting her carry the dialog. She knew they agreed with her, now that they were becoming real, but lacked her Stein-enhanced mode of expression.
“Because ordinary Xanth folk can be tracked by their magic, which manifests mainly as their talents, great and small, attached to their souls. Nymphs lack talents and souls, so can’t be tracked.”
“What about Noletta, who was given the talent of twenty-four-hour vision?”
“That is on loan from the incidental collection of Trader Troll. Tracking that will reveal only that collection, not any soul or person. So your party remains essentially anonymous.” He glanced gruffly at Noletta. “You do have a talent, minor as it is, nymph. Use it.”
