Happily Never After, page 15
Now it’s Liv’s turn to smile. ‘There might be. We’re going out for a drink tomorrow.’
‘Ooh. How do you feel about that?’
‘Well, she said yes when I asked her. That’s got to be a good sign, I reckon. She absolutely adores Meg, by the way.’
‘So she should. But have you got anything in common with her besides your mutual love for my fabulous dog?’
‘That’s what I intend to find out. Don’t you worry about me, honey. I know exactly how to play this. You focus on you and whatever this thing with Finn might or might not be. I’ll catch up with you soon, yeah?’
As we end the call, I think about what she’s said. The thing with Liv is that she makes perfect sense when you’re talking to her, but it’s only afterwards that you start to realise the massive holes in her seemingly impenetrable logic.
Oh, God. I’m no further forward at all, and I still don’t have the faintest idea what to do.
19
DI Harrison was tired and, to top it all, she could feel the beginnings of a migraine coming on. Her desk was right next to the window, which combined with the inadequate heating and ventilation of the police station to ensure that she consistently froze in winter and boiled in summer. Today was typical; the hot sun had blasted her relentlessly from the moment she’d arrived this morning, and was undoubtedly a contributing factor to the pain building in her head.
‘Have you got a minute, Ma’am?’ She looked up as DS Rogers spoke. Unlike her, he looked crisp and comfortable in his shirtsleeves and tie. Maybe she should pull rank and get him to swap desks with her. The problem was that the window desk was seen by everyone as the best one because it came with a view, even if said view was only over the car park, and her complaints about the temperature had fallen on totally deaf ears. On the one occasion that the sun was so strong she’d closed the blind, there was such an outcry from the other occupants of the office that she’d been forced to open it again.
‘Sure, what’s up?’
‘We’ve had a call from uniform. There’s a crime scene they’d like us to go and look at.’
So much for her plan to slip away early and spend the rest of the day in the cool darkness of her bedroom, with a box of paracetamol and a jug of iced water. She rummaged in her desk drawer for the box that she kept in there, only to find an empty blister pack inside. Great.
‘Fine,’ she sighed as she got to her feet. ‘Let’s go. You’re driving though, OK?’
Although I’m trying hard to concentrate and the words are coming, after a fashion, my mind is firmly on the situation with Finn. We walked into Saint-Antonin-Noble-Val as usual this morning and, on the face of things at least, everything seemed normal. We chatted about both his show and the next part of my story. But something was off. An elephant has crept into the room and it seems neither of us quite know what to do with it. The moments of exuberance yesterday have passed and, although I certainly want to talk about what happened, I’m still processing how I feel about him and my conversation with Liv. He also doesn’t seem in any rush to talk about anything other than our usual subjects, so I don’t have a clue what’s going on in his head either.
I try to immerse myself back into the story, but I’m disturbed by the ringing of my phone. I’m surprised to see it’s Liv, and my heart misses a beat. Something must be wrong for her to be calling during the day when she’d normally be at work, and my instant thought is that it’s to do with Meg.
‘Hi, Liv, what’s up?’ I ask, trying to keep my voice light.
‘Sorry to call you, but I’ve got a bit of a situation here,’ she says, her voice tense.
‘Is Meg all right?’
‘She’s fine. It’s, umm, Angus.’
‘Angus?’
‘He’s here.’
‘What’s he doing there?’
‘I’m looking for you, what do you think?’ The voice and accent are familiar, but I’m surprised by the anger that surges through me on hearing him and his critical tone.
‘Why?’ I ask.
‘Because I came back to find someone else in our flat, my dog missing, you nowhere to be found and I couldn’t help wondering what the hell was going on. I tried to call you but it kept saying number unobtainable.’
‘I’ve moved out of the flat, Angus.’
‘Where’s all my stuff?’
‘Storage. Pay me the back rent on the unit and I’ll happily give you the key so you can go and get it.’
‘And Meg?’
‘Doggy daycare.’
‘So you just dumped her on some stranger?’ He sounds outraged. ‘Tell me where she is and I’ll go and get her.’
‘No, Angus, you won’t,’ I tell him firmly. ‘What are you doing? Why aren’t you on the cruise ship?’
‘It’s a break between voyages. I thought I’d come home, but it seems you’ve decided to cut me completely out of your life. Where the hell are you, anyway?’
‘France. On a writing retreat.’
‘What? But you always said you’d rather drill holes in your head than go on one of those.’
‘Yes, well, I changed my mind.’
‘It seems like you’ve changed your mind on a lot of things since I’ve been gone.’
‘Don’t try to play the wounded innocent here, Angus. You were the one that walked out. I’m just trying to make the best of my life, OK?’
‘But Meg—’
‘Meg is absolutely fine. Liv’s taking good care of her and she’s enjoying the daycare. I’m not having you pitching up out of the blue and unsettling her, do you understand? Liv, are you still there?’
‘Yes,’ Liv’s voice says. ‘Kind of hard not to be, given that Angus is in my kitchen.’
‘Whatever you do, don’t let him anywhere near Meg, OK? She’s just starting to get used to life without him, and I’m not having him waltz back into her life only to waltz out again and set her back.’
‘Understood.’
‘You can’t do that,’ Angus says, sounding mutinous. ‘She’s my dog just as much as she is yours.’
‘No, she isn’t. You walked out on both of us, and with that you forfeited any rights you think you have. I mean it, Angus. You’re to stay away from her.’
‘So that’s it, is it? Just like that, you’ve moved on.’
‘Can you hear yourself?’ I ask in disbelief. ‘You left, Angus. What did you expect me to do?’
‘I just thought the ten years we had together might have meant a bit more to you than they did. Evidently, I was wrong.’
‘You’re fucking unbelievable, you know that?’ My temper has finally deserted me. ‘You made it abundantly clear that we were over when you buggered off. And now you come back and dare to challenge me because I’ve moved on with my life? Fuck off, Angus. Leave me alone, leave Liv alone and, above all, leave Meg alone. You’re not welcome, do you understand?’
‘And where am I supposed to go, exactly? That flat was my home too.’
‘I honestly don’t give a shit. Like I said, you can collect your stuff from storage whenever you like, once you pay the back rent on it, and then you can fuck off back to Glasgow for all I care.’
‘Wow. You really hate me, don’t you?’ His voice has lost its petulant tone and he just sounds sad all of a sudden.
‘Do you blame me?’
He sighs. ‘I guess not. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, Laura.’
‘It’s a bit late for that, Angus.’
‘Well, good luck with everything, yeah? Give my love to Meg when you see her.’
In spite of myself, I can’t help wishing him luck as well before we end the call, but I’m fuming as I put the handset back on the table. Did he honestly think he’d come back after all this time and find me waiting for him? What an arrogant prick. After a couple of minutes, I grab the handset again and call Liv back.
‘Has he gone?’ I ask her when the call connects.
‘Yup. He looked like he’d had the stuffing knocked out of him.’
‘Serves him right. I can’t believe he did that, and I’m so sorry you got caught up in it.’
‘Oh, don’t worry about me. Drama like this is like water off a duck’s back.’
‘Don’t let him anywhere near Meg, OK? I meant what I said. She’ll be so excited if she sees him, and then it will break her heart all over again when he goes.’
‘Laura, I love her, but once again I think you’re giving her more complex emotions than she actually has.’
‘Remember how she moped when he first went?’
‘OK, fine. I’ll call Donna and make sure she doesn’t let anyone other than me collect or see Meg. I don’t think she would, but if it puts your mind at rest.’
‘It does. Thanks, Liv. And good luck for tonight. Keep me posted.’
‘I will. What about you? What have you decided about the enigmatic Finn?’
I sigh. ‘I don’t know. He doesn’t seem to want to talk about it, and I haven’t found a way to broach the subject either.’
She laughs softly. ‘It seems you’re quite the siren lately with all these men fighting over you.’
‘They’re hardly fighting, Liv. I still can’t believe Angus thought he was just going to pick up where he left off.’
‘Yes, I admit that was odd.’
‘And Finn? I have no idea what he’s thinking.’
‘You need to talk to him. Don’t let this fester. Do it now.’
‘I don’t know what to say though, Liv. I’ve realised he’s an attractive man and we’ve shared a couple of, as you put it, PG-rated kisses. That doesn’t mean we have a future.’
‘You definitely won’t have a future if you don’t talk to him. What’s the worst that can happen?’
‘Another disaster?’
‘Look. Angus is behaving like a tit, we can both agree on that. But don’t write off an entire ten years as a disaster just because it ended. Shit happens, Laura. People you thought were going to stay together for life unexpectedly divorce after years of marriage. It doesn’t mean the marriage was a disaster, just that it’s run its course. Maybe you and Finn have a future and maybe you don’t. But remember Liv’s life lesson.’
‘It’s always better to regret something you’ve done than something you haven’t,’ I parrot.
‘Exactly. Now, go and talk to him, OK? I’ve got to get back to work. Love you.’
‘Love you too.’
When she ends the call, I sit for a while just staring into space. It’s easy for Liv to say ‘just talk to him’, but the risk of getting it wrong and just making things incredibly awkward is huge and, quite apart from the fact that I really enjoy Finn’s company, I don’t want to lose my only ally here.
Once more, I try to get my head back into the story, but it’s no good. The conversation with Angus has thoroughly unsettled me, and I’m not going to get any work done until I’ve decompressed from that, at least. And then there’s the conversation I know I need to have with Finn. Liv may like to trot out her little sayings, but do I really have the courage to tell Finn how I feel, especially when I’m not completely sure myself? I think the last time I actually took the reins and told a boy I liked him was in secondary school. I shudder as I cast my mind back. I was so sure he was as into me as I was him, but he just looked really embarrassed and tried to let me down gently. Ugh. There’s no way I could go through that again.
But then, what if Liv is right? There was all that stuff in the car where he said I was out of his league and had no idea how attractive I was. That must mean he’s attracted to me, mustn’t it? I try to picture myself in a relationship with him, and it’s actually not that hard. I mean, I can’t imagine what having sex with him would be like, but that’s mainly because the idea of having sex with anyone new fills me with anxiety. Shit. Maybe Liv is right and I am repressed.
I sigh. Whatever happens, I need to know how he feels. Even if he can’t find the words and I have to kiss the truth out of him, I will. Actually, I could do that. Liv may think we’re strictly PG, but I enjoyed both of our kisses yesterday. With renewed energy, I get to my feet to go to find him.
To my surprise, Finn’s not in his usual spot on the bench in the vegetable garden, so I continue round, checking the other places where tables and chairs have been laid out. Suzie and Grace are in their usual places and shoot me their customary hostile gazes as I pass. I still have no idea what either of them are writing, but their absolute loyalty to Gina means that I’m unlikely to break any ice with either of them while she persists in her hatred of me. However, the next sight I come across does cause me to break my stride. Gina and Lynette are sitting on a bench in the sunlight, apparently engaged in a deep conversation. From their facial expressions, it’s not hostile either. Curiosity gets the better of me and I decide to approach.
‘Hi,’ I say as they look up. ‘I don’t suppose either of you have seen Finn, have you?’
‘I haven’t, I’m sorry.’ Gina’s voice is as unexpected as her expression. There’s no animosity in it at all.
‘OK, thanks,’ I tell her. ‘It’s nice to see you two seemingly getting along,’ I add.
‘I’m helping Gina with a scene in her book,’ Lynette tells me.
The surprise must show on my face as Gina smiles. ‘There’s, umm, a liaison,’ she explains. ‘Tess felt strongly that it could be improved with some input from Lynette and, much as I hate to admit it, she has been extremely useful.’
‘The only thing we’re struggling with is the terminology. How would the Tudors describe an erection? It’s not something I’ve ever had to think about before.’
‘Tumescence?’ I offer.
Lynette smiles. ‘Nice. The sex itself is fairly straightforward, I think.’
‘I agree,’ Gina says to her. ‘They weren’t really into foreplay and he’s pretty pent up, so I think a few thrusts and it would all be over.’
‘Disappointing for her,’ Lynette observes.
‘Yes, but there’s another place that Tess thought I could perhaps insert a slightly more romantic encounter. If you’re interested, we could look at that once we’ve sorted this bit.’
‘Of course. I’d be delighted.’
‘I’ll leave you to it,’ I tell them.
‘We’ll tell Finn you’re looking for him if we see him,’ Lynette calls after me.
Today just keeps bringing the surprises, I think as I head for the house. Of all the things I never thought I’d see, Lynette and Gina being civil and working together pretty much tops the list. I don’t know how Tess managed to persuade her, but if it’s going to thaw the frost between the two of them, that can only be a good thing.
Finn isn’t in the library either, so I head for his room, knocking tentatively on the door.
‘Who is it?’ he calls.
‘Me. Can I come in?’
‘Sure.’
I open the door, only to find yet another surprise. Finn is sitting at his desk, with a laptop in front of him and papers strewn everywhere. On the bed, his case is open and half-packed.
‘What’s going on?’ I ask.
‘I spoke to my agent earlier,’ he tells me, his face alive with excitement. ‘He’s got me a pitching slot.’
‘That’s brilliant. Congratulations!’
‘Yeah. The only problem is it’s tomorrow, and I have to have everything ready by then.’
‘Tomorrow?’ I repeat.
‘Yeah. I’m booked on a late flight out of Toulouse tonight. There’s just so much to be done, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned about working with TV companies, you don’t mess them about. If they offer you a pitching slot, you grab it with both hands.’
‘Oh, right.’ I’m unable to keep the disappointment out of my voice. ‘I was going to suggest a coffee break, but I’ll leave you to it.’
‘Sorry, Laura.’
Well, I guess that solves that, I think to myself as I go back down the stairs towards the garden. There’s no point in opening up about our feelings when he’s about to disappear back to London. I’m trying to be pleased for him, but all I can think about is my own sense of disappointment. Maybe it’s for the best. I’m supposed to be here to work, after all, not get involved with someone. I need to push these thoughts out of my head and focus on my book.
If only it were that easy. As I head back into the garden, I can’t help feeling that I’ve just missed out on something massive.
20
‘Where are we going?’ DI Harrison asked as DS Rogers took yet another turn.
‘Armley Road,’ he replied. ‘I don’t have all the details, but basically the homeowners were having some chimney repairs done, and the builders discovered a hidden alcove with a body in it. SOCO are there already doing their thing.’
Although the air conditioning was working flat out, DI Harrison still felt sweaty and her head was pounding as the migraine took hold. She wanted nothing more than to retreat to her bed, but she realised this was a crime scene that needed her full attention. She tried to ignore the pain, keeping her expression completely neutral as DS Rogers parked the car and they slipped on their protective overalls. She fought the rising sense of nausea by focusing on her breathing as the uniformed police officers lifted the crime scene tape to allow her and DS Rogers to pass underneath. A group of nosy neighbours were gathered but, after a quick scan, she made a point of ignoring them.
‘It’s in here, Ma’am,’ Terri, one of the Scene of Crime Officers, told her unnecessarily as she entered the hallway. The house was at once familiar and strange. The décor was different, of course, but the layout brought back so many memories. Even if she hadn’t known exactly where the body was, the flashing from the camera would have led her to it.
‘The builders started to take down this wall,’ the photographer explained, indicating the hole they’d obviously punched with their sledgehammers. ‘They found a bag behind it and opened it. I suspect they were hoping for buried treasure, but they got a body instead. I’m just going to do a couple more pictures in situ and then we can bring it out. Did you want to have a quick look before we do that?’
