The Art of Teaching Children, page 37
Be Kind, Firm, and Not Their Friend
To children, there are only two types of teachers: nice and mean. Ask any child who the nice and mean teachers are, and they’ll give you the list. Once, I was explaining to my third graders what it meant to be firm. Kids don’t use this word. I asked my students if they thought I was a firm teacher, and they said yes. I was glad they thought so. “But,” one child clarified, “you’re nice firm.” It made me laugh.
When working with children, it’s important to be both kind and firm. Kids need and want boundaries and will honor them if they sense that you care. If you are kind but lack firmness, you will not gain your students’ respect. If you’re firm without being kind, children won’t see you as approachable. And do not be your students’ friend. Too many times, I’ve seen new teachers make this mistake. It never works. Doing so diminishes your effectiveness and is an invitation for disrespect and misbehavior. It’s very important to build relationships with kids, but never try to connect with them on a peer-to-peer level. There will come a point where they lose respect. Never forget—you are there to lead and guide your charges, not be their buddy.
Meet Children Where They Are
Every year, your students will display a wide range of ability levels. Depending on the subject, some will be “on grade level,” some will be advanced, and some will struggle. Accept this. Refrain from getting frustrated because kids are not where you think they should be. At the beginning of the school year, find out where your students are in reading, writing, and math, and move them on from there. What’s important is not getting children to a particular level, but that they continue to improve.
Accept That You Won’t Reach All Your Students
It’s a hard pill to swallow. I remember the child who taught me this. His name was Hironori. It was my second year of teaching. He was one of thirty-four third graders I had that year. Hironori spoke little English and struggled in school. Every night, I would worry about this kid. I wasn’t meeting all of his needs, and I felt badly about it. I call this kind of child a “pillow student”—the child you go to bed worrying about. One night as I lay in bed thinking about Hironori, I suddenly realized, Of course I can’t meet all his needs! I have a classroom full of kids who need me. As much as I’d love to be there for Hironori all the time, it’s impossible. Coming to this realization took a giant load off my shoulders. You are only one person. So give it your all. Do the best you can. Do it again tomorrow.
Remember That Children Are Not Adults
I hate to say it, but some teachers get exasperated with their students for being kids. Children need help organizing their binders and cleaning their backpacks. They need assistance with time management and prioritizing tasks. Don’t make the mistake of thinking of kids as irresponsible or immature. Think this instead: They need my help.
Follow These Correcting Tips
Once, for fun, I went with a friend to see a fortune-teller. After studying the lines on my hand, she looked up and asked, “Are you a lawyer?”
I shook my head. “No. Why?”
“I see lots of papers.”
I chuckled. “I’m a teacher. What you’re seeing is probably my correcting basket.”
* * *
Correcting papers is the bane of most teachers. Frequently, my correcting would just go for a ride. After work, I’d put it into my car and drive it home. The next day, I’d drive the papers back to school, uncorrected. Now that I’m retired, I have a confession to make. For years, my correcting basket and I didn’t have a good relationship. I admit it wasn’t the basket’s fault. I could have been nicer to it. I’d spend time with it only when I had to. During conference week, Open House, and formal observations by the principal, I’d hide it in the closet. Sometimes I’d call it bad words. Over the years, though, our relationship improved. I worked on it.
If you and your correcting basket are not getting along, here are a few pointers to get your relationship back on track: First, don’t grade everything. Not all practice needs to be corrected. If you’ve got a week’s work of math homework to correct, not grading one batch isn’t going to hurt anyone. I understand that your students worked hard on it, but sometimes your sanity is more important. Second, get yourself a stamp that says “Spelling Not Corrected” or “Reviewed by Teacher.” It’ll save you a lot of time. Also, have a marking session with another teacher. It can turn an otherwise dreaded time into one that’s fun. Tricking yourself helps too. When you have stacks to correct, go through the easiest ones first. It will feel like you’re getting a lot done quickly. If you’ve been grading for hours, and you’re starting to not see straight, stop, and come back to it another time. You never want to get to that place where you summon your best Oprah voice and start shouting, “You get an A! And you get an A! Everyone gets an A!” As a bonus, try correcting during happy hour. Wine (at home) helps. But keep the glass off your students’ papers. Otherwise, when you hand them back, you will have to explain the mystery rings to your kids.
Ask for Help
Grayson. Janessa. Sam. These students are indelibly printed on my memory bank. I had them my first year of teaching. Grayson was reading at a kindergarten level in third grade. Janessa bullied other children. Sam vandalized school property and stole things from the classroom. All three kids’ cumulative folders were thick with reports. For months, I tried to help these children on my own. I believed that I should be able to because I was their teacher. But then one day I came to the realization that I just couldn’t do it alone. I needed help. Finally, I asked for it.
Many new teachers don’t ask for help. It’s understandable. You want to appear as if you know what you’re doing. But the truth is that when you ask for help, no one thinks you’re incompetent. On the contrary, asking for help reveals that you care. It shows that you will do anything to help a child, including put aside your pride. If you’re having trouble with a student, seek the advice and support of your colleagues. We’ve all been in your shoes. Do not go it alone.
If you are a veteran teacher, check in with the new teachers once in a while. Ask how they’re doing and if they need anything. They’ll appreciate it. It’s a nice way to give back to the profession. One year I was asked to support a group of new hires in my district. At our first meeting together, after the introductions, I began talking when immediately they all threw open their notebooks and started taking notes. I started to laugh. “I’m sorry,” I said, chuckling. “As you know, I teach third grade—and third graders do not take notes.”
Avoid This Teacher Trap
Once, I worked with a teacher who would arrive late to meetings and wouldn’t follow through with the things she had promised to do. She’d leave school right when the kids left. A few days before report cards were due, I walked into her classroom to find her writing them while her students were doing seat work. The same thing happened the following day. I thought she was slacking off. And then one morning at our grade-level meeting, she told the team that she had recently been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. She apologized for dropping the ball. I felt bad. I had judged her.
We all judge. It’s human nature. At school, we hear criticisms like that teacher’s classroom is “always out of control,” or so-and-so “isn’t good with technology,” and we end up believing it. It’s easy to do. All of us know it’s not good to judge others. It separates people and puts you in a negative frame of mind. It can sour a work environment. If you find yourself judging a colleague, here are some ways to get yourself back on track:
The first step is to acknowledge that you’re being judgmental and call yourself out on it. Remind yourself to cut others the same slack you’d want them to give you. No teacher has it easy. Your colleagues are dealing with the same things that you are. The truth is that we really don’t know what people are going through. We don’t know what it might have taken a coworker to just get out of bed that morning. Likewise, aim to accept others where they are. We’re all in a different place in our learning. Just as children grow at different rates, so do teachers. We have different styles, and none is better than the other. Don’t forget that there are many paths in teaching, and just because someone is traveling a different road than you, it doesn’t mean they’re on the wrong one. When you start to feel that others are lacking or failing, move your spotlight. Shine it on the areas where you can improve. Look at your own attitude and professionalism. Spend your energies on your teaching, not someone else’s.
Be Kind to the Custodian
One day when Keith, the custodian, stepped into my classroom after school, I felt bad. We’d done an art project. The floor was littered with paper, and the sink was splattered with paint. It had been a busy day.
“Sorry about the mess,” I said.
“That’s all right,” Keith replied.
“Please tell me my room isn’t the messiest one in the school.”
He laughed. “It’s not.”
“Yay.”
“It’s the second messiest.”
I cringed. “Yikes!”
Then Keith proceeded to list all of the classrooms in order from cleanest to messiest.
“You keep track?”
“Oh yes,” he said. “All custodians do.”
* * *
In teaching, there are days you need a ceiling bulb replaced, a ball pumped up, or your classroom cleaned early for parent-teacher conferences. There will be times when you need a desk for a new student, paper towels for the dispenser, or your door unlocked because you can’t find your keys. Always be kind to the custodian. Always say thank you. And this goes for the school secretary, the clerk, and the librarian too.
Realize That Not Every Lesson Will Be Legendary
Lessons are like meals. Some are better than others. Some aren’t that exciting. Occasionally, you’ll knock one out of the park. Every year, you’ll give some wonderfully creative and compelling lessons, but they all won’t be this way. Sometimes kids just need to practice their times tables.
Observe Master Teachers
All new teachers aspire to be excellent, and one of the best ways to get there is to observe excellent teaching. Teachers don’t get the opportunity to watch other teachers in their classrooms much. They’re too busy in their own. Ask your principal if you may observe some master teachers in your district. Chances are you’ll get a yes. When you visit, notice how they interact with their students and manage their classrooms. If possible, meet with the teachers afterward to debrief what you’ve seen. Ask a lot of questions. Observing other teachers is the best PD. And make sure you snap some photos of their rooms while you’re there so you can steal… I mean copy their bulletin board ideas too.
Remember That Skillful Teachers Are Made, Not Born
Whenever you observe a master teacher who makes it all look so easy or read the blog of a teacher whose classroom and lessons always look better than yours, bear in mind that they did not just step into their schools completely capable, delivering captivating lessons to fully engaged students. It took them years to get there. Don’t compare your first chapter to someone else’s twentieth.
Understand Learning Windows
Have you ever noticed that elementary school windows look pretty much the same? In the fall, the windowpanes are covered with jack-o’-lanterns painted with tempera paint. In winter, they are filled with paper snowflakes that were opened up after being folded and snipped. In spring, the snowflakes have been replaced with ziploc bags holding lima bean seeds wrapped in wet paper towels. But these aren’t the only windows in school. There are others—ones you cannot see. These are the windows of learning.
Windows of learning are the times children learn something best. When children grasp something with ease, their learning windows are open. We’ve all known kids who picked up something quickly, be it a language, a sport, or an instrument. Their windows were wide open. The opposite is also true. If a child is having difficulty understanding something, it could be that his window isn’t open. Now, this is not to say that children can’t learn things when their windows are closed. Of course they can. The learning just won’t come as easily. If a student can’t grasp a skill or concept, don’t immediately assume something is wrong. Be patient. A mind has to be ready to learn. You can’t force it.
Be Mindful of How You Refer to Caregivers
Our students come to us from diverse living situations. Some children are raised by Mom and Dad and others by their grandparents. Some are in foster care. Others have two moms or two dads. When speaking with your students, instead of always saying “parents” or “Mom and Dad,” consider saying “families.” It’s more inclusive. One teacher I know refers to her students’ caregivers as “the big people” in their lives. In her notes home, rather than writing “your child,” she writes, “your young person.” I am not suggesting that you stop using the words mom, dad, and parent, but I urge you to be sensitive to those who don’t have one. In the beginning of the year, find out who takes care of your students. Ask them what they call their caregivers. When my friend’s daughter was six, her teacher would refer to her students’ caregivers as their “grown-ups.” The term stuck, and the six-year-old started calling her own parents “my grown-ups” too.
Help Children Listen
We’ve all experienced it. You’re in the midst of giving directions to your kids, and they start grabbing their materials and moving around because they think they know what you want them to do. They stop listening. Your voice gets louder as you talk over the noise. “Hold it. Wait till I’m finished. Stop moving!” Fortunately, there’s an easy and effective way to fix this: Before giving your instructions, tell your students not to begin until you say “Go.” By saying this, your kids will listen as they wait for your signal.
Every teacher wants a classroom full of good listeners. Here are a couple of additional strategies to add to your arsenal: First, lower your voice in class. A lot of teachers use louder voices to keep their kids’ attention, but, although it may seem counterintuitive, speaking softer can be highly effective. When you speak softly, children make a greater effort to listen. It has a calming effect on a class too. Along with that, consider cutting down on your talking time. Too much talk can cause kids to check out, daydream, and become more interested in the ceiling tiles than in you. Be careful about repeating yourself as well. If children know that you’re going to repeat the directions, they won’t feel that they need to tune in the first time. If you tell kids that you’ll be giving your instructions only once, they’ll also listen better. Another way to improve your students’ listening is to make eye contact with them while you teach. It’s easy for teachers to get so focused on the material that they see the class as one large group, not as individuals. When you make brief eye contact with children during a lesson—just a second or two with each student—they are more inclined to look at you and listen. It’s also an excellent rapport builder.
In addition to this, let your students move. A little movement at the top of a lesson—or whenever children need a break—always clears heads for listening. Movement reboots. Ask your kids to stand up and stretch. Let them shake and wiggle. Lead them in some neck rolls, arm circles, jumping jacks, or air swimming where they can do the breast stroke, backstroke, and butterfly. Throw on a pair of swimming goggles to get giggles.
Treat Your Students as If They Are Your Own Children
There are times when you will have important decisions to make about a child: Do I seek extra help because this student is struggling? Is it time to call a conference with the parents? Do I involve the principal or the counselor? Whenever I was faced with questions like these, I would ask myself how I’d respond if the child were my own. This always helped. Sometimes when speaking with parents, I would even say it aloud: “I’m thinking about how to handle this as though your child were mine.” Parents like to hear that you think of their children this way.
Reflect on Your Lessons
One afternoon when my fourth graders were finished making treasure maps on large pieces of construction paper, I took the kids outside one at a time. To give their maps the appropriate buccaneer appearance, I lit the edges, let them burn a few seconds, then allowed the children to blow out the flames. When Jay handed me his map, I lit one corner of it as I’d done with the others, but suddenly the flame got out of hand. I tried blowing on it but couldn’t put it out. Shouting at Jay to stand back, I threw the map onto the ground and stomped on it. By the time the fire was out, several kids had gathered in the doorway to see what was going on. “Jay, I’m so sorry,” I said, sure that he’d be upset because his map was ruined. But he wasn’t upset at all. As I picked up the map, he cried, “That was cool!” All the onlookers shouted, “Do mine! Do mine!”
Sometimes lessons don’t go as planned. PowerPoints won’t load. Seeds don’t sprout. The idea that you pulled off the internet ends up looking nothing like the photo. You forget the batch of gingerbread men baking in the oven. (Note: Never bring burned gingerbread men back to a kindergarten classroom. Jill did this once, and her kids were horrified. One of them cried, “You killed them!”) If a lesson goes south, cut yourself slack. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. No teacher bats 1,000. Chalk it up as a learning experience. The reason many lessons go haywire is because teachers are trying something new. The fact that you tried something you’d never done before shows that you’re willing to take a risk and stretch yourself. Also, look for the positive in the flop. Most likely there was something that went right. And most importantly, take the time to reflect. Bad lessons make good teachers—if you learn from them.
