All Folked Up, page 30
I placed a hand on Charlotte’s arm and explained the situation, reminding her that the masks were behind the bar, and she promised to grab one for the bridesmaid.
Fears assuaged, the women rejoined their friends. It wasn’t long before the entire room filled with sounds of merriment. Between pitching in with the initial food orders, taking photos for the bridal party, and serving drinks, I checked my watch to track the time, promising myself I’d leave two minutes prior to the show.
Before I was ready, the time had arrived and my phone beeped. I scanned the ladies once more, just to be sure all their requests had been addressed. Movement by the front entryway caught my attention.
“Tina? What are you doing here?” I faced her fully, surprised to see my friend on her day off.
“It hasn’t started yet, right? I couldn’t miss Isaac’s debut. I thought about bringing a foam penis to wave around, but I didn’t want to embarrass him.” She glanced at me, her gaze moving down, then up, then she frowned. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing is wrong with me.”
“You look constipated.”
“I’m not—” I rolled my eyes. “Forget it. Have fun.” I turned toward the back hall.
Tina grabbed my wrist, halting my departure. “Where are you going?”
“I have to do inventory. I’ll be in the storage closet.” I gave my arm a shake.
She didn’t let go. “Are you kidding? They’re just about to start. You’re going to miss Isaac stripping.”
“Oh well.” I shrugged.
She blinked, like my reaction truly astonished her. “Hannah.”
“What?”
Tina wrinkled her nose, pinched her lips, and widened her eyes, her signature I’m irritated with you expression. “Why are you being like this? Don’t you think he’d appreciate your support?”
“Why would it matter to him if I’m here or not?”
“Because he’s shy and modest.” She tugged my arm. “He’s actually a bit of a prude. And this is scary for him.”
I wanted to roll my eyes again at her statement. This would be scary for him? For Isaac? The undercover agent?
Yeah, right.
Instead, I twisted out of her grip. “You’re here.”
“Yeah. But he’s not in love with me.”
“Tina. Come on.” I glared at her. I also walked away. I wasn’t entertaining her stupid teasing, not now. Probably not ever. There was no way Isaac was in love with me.
What a joke.
I’d made it just around the corner of the hallway when Tina grabbed me again. “Hannah. Stop walking away and stop being obtuse.”
My expression flattened. “Where did you learn the word obtuse?”
Her gaze shifted to the left, then right. “Why? Did I use it wrong?”
“No. You used it right.”
“Good. It was on my word-of-the day calendar this morning and stop changing the subject. If you leave him out there alone—”
“He won’t be alone. There’s thirteen women out there to keep him company.” I lifted a hand toward the main area and the music kicked up, signaling the start of the show. My heart leapt to my throat as the bass beat reverberated in my chest. I’d planned to be safely in the storage room by now, where the sounds wouldn’t reach me.
“—he’ll be hurt,” Tina spoke over me. “I told you your tires were safe from me because I assumed you’d be good to him. Don’t turn me into a liar.”
“Why are you making a big deal out of this? He’s not going to care!” She was so weird sometimes and she was getting on my last nerve.
Tina huffed, visibly seething, and spat, “You’re being a real bitch right now. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why are you acting like you don’t know how he feels about you, what you mean to him?”
I flinched at the insult and fully embraced my rising temper, snapping back, “Sorry if you think I’m being a bitch, but you don’t know what you’re talking about. Isaac isn’t ‘in love’ with me or whatever. We’re casually dating—”
“No.” She shook her head resolutely.
“Yes!”
“No, you twit!” Tina stepped forward and shoved her face in mine, punctuating her words by hammering her finger into my clavicle. “Isaac doesn’t ‘casually’ do anything, and he definitely doesn’t casually date. The man doesn’t date, period. And he doesn’t agree to fill in as a male stripper for just anyone, considering the fact that he’s super private about his body, and he doesn’t do bakery runs every morning for anyone else, and he doesn’t go around inserting himself into conversations or other people’s business, like he does with you and Louis whenever Louis flirts with you. Wake up. Smell the coffee he’s been bringing you every damn morning!”
Finally, she leaned back, glaring at me as though to ensure all her points had landed.
“Well, I don’t know him! How am I supposed to know what he does and doesn’t do normally?” I threw my hands up, feeling defensive, because she made some good points about the muffins and such. Isaac did treat me differently from everyone else. And, according to her, he was helping today as a favor to me.
On the other hand, what was she talking about? Isaac wasn’t private about his body.
“Ask him some questions, turkey brains. Get to know the guy so you’ll know what he needs. And, in the meantime, trust his friends when they tell you what he needs. I’m telling you now—as his old friend—he needs you to be out there. He needs your support. Again, he’s doing this favor for you and no one else. Stop being a selfish twat.”
“Okay. Okay. Fine. I’ll . . . go back out.” I nodded and my chin wobbled for some reason. She was right, the least I could do was go out there and support him from the sidelines, even if the sight of it would make me feel wretched.
Tina huffed again, but this time it sounded sympathetic. “When you showed up and asked for a job here, I know Hank did what he thought was right for you at the time. And I think his influence and advice has saved you a lot of trouble. You were too soft, too sensitive, too trusting. But one thing he taught you—that he pushes on all of us, but you took it way too seriously—is to never let someone else have the upper hand. Never let yourself be vulnerable, not with anyone, and to always be hyperaware of power dynamics. Because if you are vulnerable, people will use you, hurt you, and rip your heart out.”
Biting the inside of my lip, I swallowed convulsively to keep my tears at bay.
Tina lifted a hand and pointed in the direction of the thumping music. “Hannah, you need to trust me. That idiot loves you. Maybe he doesn’t know it yet fully, maybe he’s wrestling with it. But if Isaac wasn’t in love with you, he would never touch you. And he certainly would never let you touch him.”
“What are you talking about?” My question sounded like a squeak because my throat felt tight. “He used to get lap dances from you all the time, kiss you all the time. Was he in love with you? Are you saying he was in love with me when he showed up at my retirement party? I touched him then. He bought five lap dances—”
“Don’t give me that shit. You know perfectly well that he thought I’d arranged the meeting in September. He never expected you to touch him then. Also, for the record, I never gave Isaac a lap dance, not once. And the kissing was for show, part of his cover. He never touched me when we were alone. And when we weren’t alone, when he was forced to put on a show, he touched me only the barest amount necessary to make it seem real.”
It seemed like she was trying to tell me something without having to say it outright. “So, you’re saying he’s a strict monogamist? That he only lets the woman he’s interested in touch him?”
“No, Hannah, you obtuse obtusing obtuser! Listen to me! I’m saying, you’re the first woman I’ve ever—and I mean evvveeerr—seen him with. You’re the first person he’s ever wanted to be with. That man is pure as new fallen snow. He’s untouched. Except by you.”
I snorted, wanting to laugh at the absurdity of this claim. “Right. Okay. Sure. If you say so.”
“I know so.”
“No, I know so. The stuff we’ve done so far—”
“He’s only ever done with you, shortcake.” She tapped my nose with the tip of her acrylic nail. “And the night you gave him the lap dance, that was the furthest he’d gone with a woman. And all this ‘stuff’ you’ve done together, it’s been his first time, every time. Have you fucked yet?”
Stupefied by her words, struggling to make sense of them, I shook my head before my brain comprehended the sensitive and personal nature of the information I’d just revealed by the simple head shake. It wasn’t any of Tina’s business whether Isaac and I had slept together, and if I’d been in my right mind, I never would’ve told her.
“That’s what I thought.” She nodded once. “He’s a virgin. But I bet, from the way he looks at you, he won’t last another week if you’re up for it.”
My mouth opened and closed wordlessly for several seconds before I managed to wheeze out, “Are you—are you joking? Are you kidding with me? Is this—”
“No. Like I said, pure as new snow. Pure as, I don’t know, really clean stuff. Pure as a—as a—whatever. You get the picture. And you get to plant that flag, the honor is all yours if you want it, because the boy is in love and is looking at you with heart eyes and a raging hard-on every time you—”
“That’s enough.” I shook my hands in front of my ears. “I can’t—that’s enough.” Her statements were overwhelming.
“Think, Hannah.” She tapped the side of my head. “I don’t know what y’all talk about, what he’s asked, what he’s shared, but think back to all your conversations, and I guarantee you will see I’m telling the truth.”
“But he’s such a fantastic kisser!” I blurted, still trying to find evidence to contradict what I now knew was true. “Why is he such a good kisser if he’s never dated anyone?”
“You can thank me for that.” Tina glanced at her nails, sounding supremely satisfied with herself. “He used to be shit at it. And since we had to kiss anyway for his cover, like, all the time, I taught him how. I didn’t want it to be—ugh, you know how it is with guys who don’t know how? All slimy tongue and that weird stabbing thing they do, and no lips. Lips are great, why do they ignore lips? I hated it. So, I taught him. He’s good, right?”
My mind on overdrive, our interactions rewound and played back in my memory on quadruple speed. How he’d reacted to our lap dance, how angry he’d been, how he’d treated me after. But then the sudden shift and apology when he realized I hadn’t been lying to him, that I wasn’t soliciting at the Pony. The way he looked at me since, quietly showing up and helping without asking for anything, his statement that he owed me, that he couldn’t simply continue avoiding me, that he didn’t want us avoiding each other.
Most damning, the memory of his confession at the Donner family cabin. He’d been so wholesome and sweet, uncertain and shy. I’d thought so at the time. A complete contrast to his typical confidence and stoicism.
What had he said? I think I must be really bad at this. It’s my first time.
The man has no experience. You’re his first everything. The realization stole my breath and it changed everything. The world tilted on its axis, the earth shifted, and the heavens parted.
Heck, even how he’d touched me earlier today in my office—either too soft or too rough—should’ve tipped me off to his lack of experience. I’d been so turned on, so lost to him and the moment, it had never occurred to me that a man with his life experience and of his age—
The sudden music change brought me back to the present and my heartbeat matched the frenzied tempo. Inventory forgotten, I jogged past Tina and into the main room, sending up a prayer of thanks that the stage would be lit but the room would be dark until they finished the first three choreographed numbers.
To hell with my hesitancy. To hell with my jealousy and envy. When the lights turned on, I wanted to be the first thing he saw. But mostly, I wanted to be worthy of being his first everything.
“Wait.” Tina caught up with me, then grabbed my arm for a third time, bringing me to another stop.
“What? What is it?” I turned, impatient.
She’d scrunched her face, her gaze pleading. “Do me a favor and don’t tell Isaac I told you he was a virgin.”
“Pardon?”
She couldn’t be serious.
“I don’t want him thinking I spilled his secrets.”
My mouth dropped open. “Tina. You did spill his secrets.”
“I know!” She let me go and flapped her lashes at me, giving me a winning smile. “But there’s no reason he has to know.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
*HANNAH*
“Think of how much better the world would be if people craved compliments about the beauty of their heart rather than the beauty of their face.”
― Susie Moist, Grin and Beard It by Penny Reid
The main room had grown rowdy and the guys were still in the first half of the second dance number. Tina walked close behind me and I spotted Isaac at once. He stood on the far left end of the stage, his features clear of expression. He hit the cues impressively well considering this was his first time up there.
During our choir days, he had impeccable pitch and rhythm. I hadn’t expected church choir to translate so well to . . . this. Just goes to show, no previous life experience is wasted if you’re not picky about how and when to apply it.
I walked slowly to the bar, my heart climbing up my throat again. But not because Isaac was a virgin, or because of the other thing Tina had revealed: That idiot loves you.
My nerves were a direct result of my anxiety for him. If I’d known about his aversion to exposing his body, about his preference for modesty, I never would’ve agreed to his participation today. But he’d never seemed modest with me. He’d whipped his shirt off and kissed me. He’d let me reach inside his boxers like it was no big deal to him.
On pins and needles, I watched the show. They finished the second set and Tina shoved my shoulder, forcing me to look at her. Her grin was wide and she appeared proud.
“He’s doing so great! My boy is all grown up.” Wiping at fake tears, she sniffled. “And soon he won’t be a virgin either. Make it good for him. Like, blow his fucking mind. He deserves it. And when y’all get married, you have to name your first child after me. No matter if it’s a boy or girl.”
A laugh left my lungs even though my stomach was in knots. “Okay, Tina. Sure thing,” I muttered, returning my attention to the stage as the third number started.
Isaac didn’t smile, not once, but that was okay. It sorta suited his persona on stage, gave him a sexy air of mystery and danger. Also, the man could dance. This third choreographed number was the most challenging, even for the pillars, but he only messed up once. I felt certain none of the women in the audience picked up on it. I only noticed because I’d watched the dance so many times.
The third number was also the longest and the one where they finally ripped off their Velcro pants. Getting those things off could be tricky because you had to grab them in just the right spot and tug in just the right way. His flew off with everyone else’s and I clasped my hands beneath my chin, wanting to clap for him but knowing I shouldn’t. Not yet.
But as soon as the dance ended, I was one of the loudest to cheer. And when the lights beyond the stage came on, I stepped slightly away from the bar and waved my hand in a small, mindless attempt to get his attention.
Isaac blinked, his eyes probably needing to adjust to the change in lighting, and then he scanned the room, swallowing. His hands were balled into fists and the slash of his mouth looked severe. Now that I knew he was modest, I could see he was unsettled by what he found, all the women staring at him and cheering.
But then his gaze found mine and his forehead cleared, the firm line of his mouth relaxing. I smiled widely, giving him two thumbs up, and I watched his chest rise and fall with a deep breath.
Oh my heart. He was something else. What had I done to deserve this man? I didn’t know. A rush of tears stung my eyes, but this time they weren’t the bad kind.
Hank said something over the microphone. The sound of his voice plus movement on stage had me tearing my eyes from Isaac’s. I gripped the bar as all the professional dancers started making their way to the floor. Beau Winston, Dave, and Isaac were picking up props and costumes, tucking them away. Dave said something with a grin. Beau laughed and Isaac almost cracked a real smile. Then Dave gestured to the floor.
I watched, holding my breath as Beau glanced at Isaac, inspecting him while he held perfectly still, saying nothing, and time seemed to freeze, suspend itself. I’d almost forgotten that it was generally expected for everyone on stage to go down to the floor.
Screw that.
I prepared to step forward and intercede, stop Isaac from being pressured into it—because it was very clear to me now that he had no interest in walking among strangers and letting them touch his body—but before I could, Beau faced Dave and stepped in front of Isaac. He shook his head and waved the big man off with a smile. The redheaded Winston tossed a thumb over his shoulder and hit Isaac lightly in the chest.
In the next moment, Dave walked toward the stairs leading down to the floor while Beau and Isaac slipped through the back door off the stage, leaving the room completely. The relief I felt made my whole body sag.
Thank goodness for Beau Winston.
“I’ll be back,” Tina leaned close and whispered in my ear.
I nodded absentmindedly. Isaac had his own mind, but I didn’t want him being pressured into dancing for tips. If Beau had joined the others, Isaac might’ve thought it was required, or that I would be put in a bad position if he declined. I never wanted him to do anything like this again, anything against his nature, outside of his comfort zone. He must be protected at all costs!
“Can I get you a drink?” Louis’s voice asked.
I faced the bartender just as he set a glass down in front of me.
