Lie, page 16
With both of his hands on my ass, he squeezed hard as he kissed me, giving me his tongue like he’d just walked in the door. He bit my bottom lip gently, telling me how much he’d miss me until the next time he came over. Then he smacked my ass before he walked out the door.
I stayed in the doorway and watched him go, watching his powerful frame shift slightly with his movements as he disappeared down my hallway. I stared at his thick ass, his powerful arms, and those enormous shoulders.
And I already missed him.
Whenever I was on the stage, my mind was so clear it was like I was meditating. I didn’t think about the people in the audience, didn’t worry that the other dancer wouldn’t catch me after I leaped into the air. It was the closest feeling to peace I’d ever felt.
The bright lights didn’t affect me, and it was as if I was in a dream. Asleep so soundly, nothing would pull me from this illusion. I was passionate about dance, to say the least, and when I was on stage, that was when I felt most alive…and dead at the exact same time.
The music stopped, and I held my pose, my toes pointed and my hand raised to the ceiling. My chin tilted to the floor in the form of a bow, holding the position as the orchestra went quiet before the music began to rise, building to a crescendo before I began my spectacular spin.
And that was when I saw him.
Sitting in the same seat as the first time, he was squeezed between two older men, refusing to adopt appropriate attire for the theatre. The most he did was throw on a sport coat on top of his shirt and black jeans. His blue eyes were focused on mine, and he didn’t smile as he looked at me, watching me with the same intensity as when he was on top of me.
The look only lasted a few seconds before the music exploded.
And then I turned away like nothing happened, keeping my professionalism since every eye was on me at that moment.
But I felt my heart race with excitement, felt my body come to life like we were alone in my apartment. He was the only person who could pull me out of the moment, take my focus away from my performance, make me think of anything else but my body.
Only him.
I sat at my vanity and pulled the pins from my hair, let my strands fall free from the restraints. My scalp immediately felt better once it wasn’t being tugged on in that insufferable bun. I felt beautiful while I performed, but with my hair pulled back like that, I never felt sexy.
Until Heath looked at me like that.
I ran my fingers through my hair and knew he would show his face at any moment.
I hadn’t even removed my makeup before he appeared in the reflection of my vanity, his stubble a thick shadow because he hardly ever shaved now that we were together…just because I liked it. The sport coat was an article of clothing that didn’t reflect his personality at all, but he was still sexy wearing it because of those broad-ass shoulders. He didn’t even need the pads that were usually stuffed inside jackets like that.
He came up behind me, his face no longer visible because he was right against me, his stomach and pectoral muscles the only thing in my view. One hand moved to my shoulder, and he gave me a gentle squeeze, his fingers digging into my shirt in a touch packed with ownership.
I closed my eyes for a second because that was all it took to turn me on.
“Get your ass up and kiss me.” His hand moved to the hair that fell down my back and gave it a gentle tug.
I left the bench and turned around to face him, finding him just as sexy when his tattoos were masked by his clothes. I kept the chair between us so he couldn’t grab me. “Not here.” I kept my voice low so the rest of the performers wouldn’t be able to hear my words.
His reaction was subtle, but it was potent. His eyes narrowed like I’d slighted him, and now he was about to blow like a volcano full of lava at his core. “What the fuck did you just say to me?” He kept his voice deep and low, but it was full of a threat that was actually terrifying.
My heart raced in dread, and I came closer to him. “Look, my family comes to my performances pretty often, and if the girls know I’m seeing somebody, they might mention it and—”
“Kiss me now.” He commanded me like a warlord, treating me like a soldier rather than a person. He laid down the law, drew a line in the sand. “Or I walk away.” He wasn’t the kind of man to make an idle threat, so he was dead serious. He waited for me to make my move, to piss him off and lose him altogether—or obey.
I wanted to be defiant out of principle, but the last thing I truly wanted to do was lose the best thing that had happened to me recently. Most people probably weren’t paying attention, so I might be able to get away with this without being questioned later. I moved into him and rose on my tiptoes, my palms planting against his chest.
His arm circled my waist, and he tugged me into his chest, kissing me hard while his hand dug into my hair. His kiss was totally inappropriate for the setting, and it was completely intentional, just to prove he didn’t give a damn what anyone thought, including me. He gave me his tongue and embraced me like we were behind locked doors, in a private setting.
I didn’t fight it.
He pulled away, his eyes still angry. “That’s what I thought.” He released me and stepped back, victorious.
“You’re ridiculous, you know that?”
“Oh, I know.”
I turned back to my vanity and gathered my things while he stood there, watching me. “You don’t own a suit?”
“No.”
“You know, there’s a dress code for these sorts of things.” I looked at his reflection in my vanity.
“Not for me.”
I put everything in my purse then turned back around. “What did you think of the show?”
“Boring. But you were fucking beautiful.”
Those words tugged at my heartstrings instantly. He wasn’t the kind of man to appreciate the ballet, but he still appreciated me. “Thanks…”
His arm hooked around my waist, and he guided me out the back door, walking past the rest of my crew like he wanted them to know I was his, even though all the male dancers were gay. He opened the door for me, and then we walked together down the path in the darkness, the exact path I took the first time I saw him.
Now he was beside me… It was crazy.
His large hand cupped my side while his thumb pressed into my back. His gaze was forward because he knew exactly where my car was as if he’d checked before he came into the theater. “Want to have dinner somewhere?”
“You want to go out with me when I look like this?” My makeup was heavy because I hadn’t wiped it away. My eye shadow was exaggerated, and my cheeks were pink with blush. I was in jeans and a shirt because I expected to go home as soon as the performance was over.
He stopped at my car. “Baby, you could be in a burlap sack, and I wouldn’t give a damn. All I care about is what’s underneath…unlike you.”
I sighed at the insult. “I explained why—”
“You wanna go or not?” He opened the passenger door and prepared to get inside.
“Where’s your truck?”
“Home.”
“Then how did you get here?”
“Does it matter?” He was still irritated by the whole thing backstage.
I sighed. “Fine.” I got into the driver’s seat and drove away.
We went to some hole-in-the-wall place that was dead quiet. It had a variety of food, so I ordered a garden salad with strawberries, while he ordered a hamburger and fries. It wasn’t a romantic setting, but I liked that he didn’t want to take me anywhere nice. It wasn’t like he needed to impress me.
We didn’t say anything until we got the food. He was clearly pissed at me and wanted the silence to suffocate me. I’d never really been scared of him before, but that cold silence was unnerving. With both his arms on the table, he took a large bite of his hamburger and chewed it while he stared at me.
I put the napkin in my lap and stabbed my fork into the greens.
He suddenly grabbed the extra plate sitting beside him and placed a handful of fries on it before he pushed the dish toward me. Then he kept eating as if nothing happened.
His fries looked good, so I ate a few. “I told you this would be a secret.”
“From your brother. Not the world.” He took a bite of a fry.
“Well, my friends see my brother sometimes. They might say something.”
“Then ask them not to.”
“I’m not gonna do that,” I said quickly.
“Give me a fake name.”
“Or we could just not make out backstage in front of all my coworkers,” I snapped.
He stared at me as he kept eating, visibly angered by my words. “Not gonna happen. If I’m your man, then I act like your man. I don’t give a shit who’s watching.” He took another bite of his burger. “What’s your plan? To go out with your friends and pretend you don’t have a man at home?”
“I don’t know…haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“Well, I’ll think for you. Not gonna happen.”
“People talk. The last thing I need right now is my brother asking me about this gorgeous tattooed hunk that my friends won’t shut up about. And trust me, if they knew we were an item, they would not shut up about it.”
“If you think I’m a tattooed hunk, then maybe you should appreciate me.”
“I do. I just don’t want to be questioned about it.”
“Tell your brother to mind his own fucking business. Think of that?”
I sighed and ate a few more fries, ignoring my salad altogether.
“Are you a girl or a woman?” he snapped. “Because the woman I know wouldn’t put up with that shit. She would tell her brother to fuck off and stop sticking his nose in her business.”
“Okay,” I said with a sigh. “Stop yelling.”
“You think I’m yelling?” His eyebrow rose. “You’ve heard me yell once before, so no, this isn’t fucking yelling.”
When he’d yelled at Popov to let me out of the cage, his voice was so powerful, it shook the bars on every cage. “My family comes to my shows sometimes, so if you run into each other, that’s going to be incredibly awkward.”
“I wouldn’t let that happen.”
“If he saw you, how would you explain your presence?”
He seemed annoyed by the question. “Let me worry about that.”
“Or we can just be careful…”
“It may not seem like it, but I’m always careful.”
No, it did not seem like it.
“You aren’t going to bars with your friends and pretending to be single. That shit isn’t gonna fly.”
That probably wasn’t realistic.
“Unless you want me to do the exact same fucking thing.”
“Then my friends are going to want to meet you.”
“Fine with me.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You don’t seem like the kind of guy that would want to do that.”
He shrugged. “It’s better than guys buying you drink after drink.”
“And what if we run into Damien?”
“Does he go to bars a lot?” he asked incredulously. “If he’s settled down, that seems unlikely.”
“He meets clients and stuff…”
“How about we deal with this stuff when it comes up instead of spending our time worrying about it?”
I wanted this to be private, to have this relationship behind closed doors, but he seemed adamant about getting what he wanted, so I let it go. “Still mad at me?”
He finished his bite before he answered. “Yes.”
I rolled my eyes.
“But I’m sure a good blow job would fix that.”
I shook my head slightly. “Oh my god…”
He didn’t look apologetic about what he’d said.
I grabbed my fork and worked on my salad again, trying to steer clear of the fries because I’d already had too many. “What have you been doing since I last saw you?”
“Working.”
“Is that all you ever do?”
“Pretty much.” He grabbed his beer and took a drink.
“And what are you doing at work?”
He looked out the window for a moment before he answered. “I’m working with Petrov’s men to turn it into a brothel. It’s been bumpy, but we’ll get there.”
“What happened to the girls?”
“I told you I let them go a week ago.”
“But what happened to them?”
He shrugged. “I gave them some clothes and money, and then they left.”
They probably returned to their friends and family, people who had been praying for their return every single day. “What else do you do?”
“Collect taxes. Resolve disputes. Shit like that.”
“Are you still taking money from my brother?”
He turned back to me and gave a nod. “He doesn’t get special treatment because of you.”
“Well, if you want to stop this feud, that would probably be a good first step…”
His plate was empty, so he crossed his arms on the table. “I’ve got you, so why would I care about that anymore?”
True. When I wouldn’t be with him, that seemed to be the only solution. But now that I’d given in, there was no incentive for him to treat Damien differently, especially when our relationship was only temporary.
“I got my results back.” Now, his gaze intensified as he stared at me, his thoughts moving to the true nature of our relationship.
“And?”
“What do you mean, and?” he said coldly. “Would I have brought it up unless my results were good?”
“I’m clean too.” I picked the last few good bites from my salad, the strawberries and the cheese, and then set down my fork. I was tired from the long performance, and I was ready to have sex and go to sleep. “So, you’ve never been in a relationship with anyone?”
He shook his head. “You?”
I shook my head. “The longest I’ve seen the same guy is…about a week.”
“Why is that? You could have anything you want from any man.”
And yet, I was in a strange relationship with this criminal. “I’m not settling down until I’m thirty, so I’m just trying to have as much fun as I can now. Whenever I tell people that, they think I’m weird, but when a man says it, it’s totally understandable.”
“Why thirty?” he asked.
“It’s when I’ve got to start popping out those babies.”
“Why can’t you be in a relationship with a man until you’re ready for kids? Isn’t that what people do?” He took a drink of his beer. “They fall in love and enjoy being together until they have to grow their family?”
I had my reasons, and I wouldn’t share them. “I guess I’m not looking to fall in love. I’m just looking for the right man to have a family with, a man who will be a good father and provide for us.”
He stared at me blankly for a few seconds. “Baby, that doesn’t make any sense. You aren’t telling me something.”
“Why are you asking me all these questions?” I asked defensively. “What’s your life like? Are you just hooking up with random women and never calling them back?” Once I asked hard questions, he would back off.
He pulled his beer closer to him. “In a nutshell. Sometimes I meet women and we hook up. But more often than not, I pay for sex.” He said it so nonchalantly, like it wasn’t a big deal at all.
Both of my eyebrows rose. “What?”
He read the unease on my face. “Whores. Not slaves, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
It was better, but not by much. “Why would a man like you need to pay for sex? Look at you.”
“I don’t need to. I just like to.” He drank from his beer.
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why?” he asked. “There’s no talking, no bullshit. You just pay for what you want, and you get it. I have a few regulars that I call whenever I’m in the mood.”
“Well…if you already have that, what are you doing with me?” I wasn’t a woman who would do anything he wanted, who would respond to commands, and I wasn’t a professional in pleasure. I was average, probably nothing compared to these women.
He seemed genuinely surprised by the question. “Look at you.” He echoed my own words back to me. “I’ve told you everything about me, so answer my question.”
“Whoa, hold on.” I raised my hand. “I’m gonna need to see that paperwork.”
“My word isn’t good enough?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowed.
“Well, it was before I knew you slept with prostitutes.”
“Doesn’t change what my results say.” He grew more irritated. “This isn’t going to work unless you trust me. Do you trust me or not?”
“I…I don’t know you.” I wanted to be with him, but I realized we really didn’t know each other that well, and I’d never been in a monogamous relationship before.
It seemed like he might get up and storm out, but he stayed, as if he was controlling his own anger. “I’m not a complicated man. I speak my mind and mean what I say. I’m not with anyone else, and I don’t want to be. It’s just you and me.”
I was still uneasy, but I wasn’t sure why.
“Does it bother you that much?”
“I’ve just never met a man who’s slept with a prostitute.”
“Yes, you have,” he snapped. “Damien and Hades do it. I promise you the men you’ve been with have too.”
“Oh my god, that’s disgusting.”
He didn’t look apologetic. “I’m not gonna pretend I won’t go back to it when we’re over. I enjoy it and will keep doing it. It’s the oldest profession in the world, and these women do it because they want to. I don’t see anything wrong with it. Judge me all you want—I don’t give a shit.”
At least he was upfront about it, I guess.
“I have the balls to say it to your face, not to sugarcoat who I am, which is more than most men can say.”
Well, most of my lovers were short term, so there probably wasn’t time to mention their pasts.
“But I will say that I prefer you to any other woman I’ve been with.” His temper died down as he stared at me. “It’s not just because of the chemistry or how beautiful you are. It’s because I respect you, even admire you. You’re the fieriest, most fascinating, unpredictable woman I’ve ever been with…and I really like that.”
