The Wolf and the Sheep, page 11
“And if he were your man, he wouldn’t have cared.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You don’t seem like the kind of man that’s ever been in love, so you shouldn’t talk about it like you understand it.”
“I’m not talking about love. I’m talking about being a man—two very different things. And in my eyes, Dante is no man.” I rose to my feet and left the glasses and ashtray on the table. “Fuck whoever you want—but I think you can do better.” I moved around her couch and headed to the door.
“That’s ironic,” she said without turning around. “I could say the same about you.”
14
Arwen
For the next few days, I worked at the opera and slept at Dante’s. Annoyed by Maverick’s comments, I avoided him. His opinion shouldn’t matter to me, but I was tired of trying to lay a tolerable foundation between us and have him destroy it every time. Just when I thought I could talk to him, he proved me wrong.
It was hard to believe he was the man who’d held my hand through my father’s funeral, the man who’d acted as my crutch to survive those horrible days. Unexpectedly, he could be the most compassionate man I’d ever met—but he could turn on you.
I went to the theater that night and performed, getting lost in the music as I played to an audience I couldn’t see. The stage lights were so bright on my face that everything in the background was just darkness.
But it still made me feel alive.
Singing had been my passion since I could remember. Now I used it to nurse my broken heart, to focus on something so my mind wouldn’t drift away. Everything in my life had changed drastically—this was the only thing that stayed the same.
When the curtains closed, Dante came backstage, roses in his hand.
I smiled at the gesture and resisted the urge to kiss him since I had to be discreet with my affairs now. But I knew my emotions were written on my face; I was grateful that this man was still around. He was the only remaining person from my former life, a reminder of how my life used to be.
“You were amazing. I could watch you sing forever.”
“Thank you.”
“Want to have dinner at my place?”
“There’s no place I’d rather go.”
We ate at his dining table, enjoying the food that was delivered to the apartment. We couldn’t go out anymore because we couldn’t be seen together. Our time together was spent in this apartment, mainly in his bed. It started to feel like an affair as time passed. It started off as a relationship—but now it was just a secret.
He stopped eating and set his fork down, his eyes filled with troubling thoughts. He didn’t wear that handsome smile or show affection in his eyes. Something weighed his shoulders down, haunted him.
I knew what it was. And I knew what was coming.
“I can’t do this anymore…” He lifted his gaze and looked at me, apology in his eyes. “You used to be mine, and now I have to share you. Every time we’re in bed together, I have to see the ring on your finger. Every time we’re in public, I have to pretend to be just your friend…”
Even though I knew this was coming, it still hurt.
“I know you aren’t sleeping with him and I trust you, but I still feel like the other man.”
I wanted to fight for us, to tell him nothing had changed. But I cared too much about him to persuade him to stay with me. All of his points were valid. He wanted the real thing, a real relationship. I couldn’t give him that.
“We can never go out to dinner, hang out with my friends…do anything. And I met this woman…”
Now it really started to hurt.
“I told her I was seeing someone, so nothing has happened. But being around her makes me realize what I want… I’m sorry.”
He wanted her—not me.
“I wish things could be different.”
I wasn’t going to cry over a man. I’d cried so much in the last few weeks that my tear ducts were spent. He wasn’t worth my heartache. If he wanted to be with someone else, then it was over before I even saw him this evening. Maybe Maverick was right. Maybe this man wasn’t good enough for me. If he really loved me, he would love me despite the restrictions…or he would fight for me. Dante wanted to do neither. “I understand, Dante. You’re completely right. This isn’t a relationship, it’s an affair.” It was just sex behind closed doors. All the romance died when I forced Dante to be a secret. I swallowed my pain and my pride and just let it be.
He rested his hand on mine. “I really am sorry. I know you’ve been through so much—”
“Really, I’m fine. Please don’t feel bad for me.” I looked him in the eye to give my words more credibility. “This is my life, not yours. There’s no reason for you to drown just because I’m obligated to go down with the ship.”
Dante studied me, true pain in his eyes. He clearly hated this conversation, hated to hurt me.
Despite what he’d just done, I knew he was a good guy. He would make a woman very happy. He would be a faithful husband and a good father. With enough time, he would forget about me entirely and struggle to remember when there was someone else in his life besides his wife. That was how it should be.
And he deserved that.
I cleared security at the gate at one in the morning.
I drove to the house up the road and pulled into the enormous garage that housed his expensive toys. Instead of driving a Bugatti or a Ferrari, I drove a Mercedes. He offered something more luxurious, but I didn’t want a car I was terrified to drive.
I slipped off my heels and walked into the house, relieved it was so quiet. Abigail had gone to bed, and the rest of the servants went home for the day. That allowed me to take my time going up the stairs, to let my shoulders sag from the sadness and exhaustion.
I made it to the second landing and almost bumped right into Maverick.
In just his sweatpants, barefoot and bare-chested, he stood in my way, his tanned skin tight over strong muscles. The veins ran all the way from the tops of his arms to his hands, a design of webs that showed just how fit his physique really was. His skin had its own smolder, like a drop of water would immediately turn to steam because he naturally ran so hot. His hair was a little messy because he’d obviously been sleeping when I pulled up to the house. The slightly tired look in his eyes was somehow sexy, probably because he had to let his guard down to fall asleep. “Why are you home so late?”
I didn’t feel like being interrogated right now. I walked around him and headed to my room, my heels in one hand and my purse in the other. “You said I could come and go as I wished.”
His footsteps sounded as he followed me. “You told me you wouldn’t be home until tomorrow.”
“Well, I changed my mind. What’s the big deal?” I made it to my bedroom and stepped through the doorway.
He joined me, coming inside, something he rarely did. “It’s a big deal because my security calls me every time someone drives to the gate past ten.”
I opened my closet and slid the heels inside their cubby. “Then tell them not to call you.”
He walked right up to me, clearly growing furious by my dismissal of everything he said. “Don’t be smart with me. Don’t tell me you aren’t coming home and then pull up at one in the morning.”
“I’m sorry,” I said sarcastically. “I didn’t realize my own home was off-limits to me.”
“Just don’t say one thing and do another.”
“Well, shit happens.” I tossed my purse on a shelf and stepped away from him.
He watched me walk away, his muscular arms resting by his sides. His unnaturally tight stomach looked harder than a slab of concrete. A knife couldn’t even penetrate his exterior because he was so hard. He made Dante seem soft, even though he was also a fit man. “What kind of shit would make you walk to your car by yourself and drive here in the middle of the night?”
I didn’t want to give Maverick the satisfaction of being right, but the truth would come out eventually. Why not now? “Dante dumped me.” I fell into the chair and crossed my legs, doing my best to ignore his focused stare. “He was tired of being a secret and found somebody else. I wasn’t going to stay there a second longer. If I’d known I couldn’t come here, I would have slept in my car.” I knew Maverick would gloat about his assessment of Dante, calling him a boy. He would kick me while I was down, rise victorious in my ashes. It wasn’t like me to avoid someone’s gaze, but I couldn’t bear to see the arrogance on his face.
Maverick stood still for a while before he moved to the spot beside me on the couch. Just like at the funeral when we were surrounded by watching eyes, he sat right beside me, his thigh touching mine. The second he was next to me, I could smell his lingering cologne, the cotton from his sheets. He didn’t smell like a woman, so I assumed he’d been in bed alone tonight.
I continued to stare at the cold fireplace, hoping he would just leave and we would never discuss this night ever again.
His next words were surprising. “I’m sorry.”
Just when I thought the worst of him, he surprised me.
“He was the last person from your former life…and losing him must be difficult.”
I was shocked Maverick understood my feelings so well. Losing a boyfriend wasn’t the difficult part. It was losing all the pieces that used to comprise my old life. Now everything had fallen away, and I was a whole new person…a person I didn’t like.
“But he wasn’t good enough for you anyway, Arwen. At least you aren’t wasting any more time.”
“All I have is time to waste. There’s nothing to look forward to. I’ll never meet a man and fall in love. I’ll never hit the milestones that other people do. I’m married and I’m rich—but I don’t have anything.” My life was empty.
“That’s not true…you have me.”
I finally turned my gaze and looked at him, surprised by what he’d said.
“I promised your father I would protect you—and that’s what I’ll do. You may feel alone in the world, but you do have that. We may not love each other or even like each other. But we’re still allies.”
And just like that, my opinion of him shifted. There was a big, beautiful heart inside that hard chest—he just hid it most of the time. His words could be so hurtful, but sometimes, they could be so beautiful. “Sometimes I don’t know if I hate you or I like you…but right now, I like you.”
He showed a slight smile, a rare sight. “Wait until tomorrow…you’ll change your mind again.”
From what I gathered, Maverick woke up early every morning, worked out, had breakfast, and then went to work at the building on the other side of his property. He was hardly around the house during the day, and if he wasn’t at work, I wasn’t sure where he went.
We didn’t see each other that much.
Sometimes I wondered if Maverick and I could be friends. Maybe we could do stuff together instead of sharing breakfast once in a while. But I remembered his kindness was used sparingly. If I hit a low point, he was there for me. He dropped his hostility and became the shoulder I needed to cry on. But once I was myself again, he turned back to the coldhearted jerk who didn’t mince his words.
I spent a few days recovering from my breakup with Dante, trying not to imagine what his new love interest looked like. Was she a brunette too? Was she interesting? Had he already slept with her? I told myself it didn’t matter, because deep down inside, I knew Dante made the right decision. He couldn’t stay with me just to make me feel better. He needed to move on with his life—because he deserved a full life.
It was just depressing to know I would never have the same thing.
On Saturday, I was performing at the theatre, so I did my hair and makeup and prepared to leave, hoping I would run into Maverick before I left. I hadn’t seen him in a few days. Since he was the only person who knew what I was going through, he was my confidant…not that he wanted to listen to my problems.
When I approached the stairs, I ran into Abigail. She had a small plate in her hands with a small cupcake in the center. With chocolate frosting and a single candle in the center, it looked like a miniature birthday cake.
“What’s that for?” She brought food to my room during my darkest days, but now that I’d been feeling better, I came to the dining table whenever meals were ready. It wouldn’t make sense for her to bring a treat.
“Mr. DeVille. It’s his birthday today. He hates to celebrate, but I always like to leave this on his nightstand…just to acknowledge it subtly. He never mentions it, but he does eat it…so I think he appreciates it.”
“Today is his birthday?” I asked in surprise. He’d said he was turning thirty soon, but I’d had no idea how soon.
“Yes.” She kept walking and headed to the next set of stairs.
“Is he home?”
“No. He left about an hour ago.”
“Do you know where he went?”
“He went out with some friends. Where specifically, I’m not sure.” She walked up the stairs until she was out of sight.
I wished I’d known it was his birthday today. He obviously didn’t want me to know because he’d rather pretend it didn’t exist, but he was my husband. I should know these things.
15
Maverick
“Not tonight, man.” Kent slammed his hand down on the table. “Drinks are on me. I don’t give a shit if you’re a billionaire, birthday boys never buy their own drinks.” He turned to the waitress who set the drinks in front of us. “Don’t take his money, alright? His number is okay but no cash.”
She addressed him and but smiled at me. “Got it.” She tucked her tray under her arm and walked away, her ass shaking in her tight skirt.
The guys were at the bar talking to two women they’d spotted the second they walked in, and since Kent and I weren’t as hard up as the others, we took our time before we started the hunt. It was never smart to go after the first piece of ass you spotted. It was essential to figure out who had the nicest ass first.
“So, how’s the wife?”
I had no idea what she was doing tonight, but since it was Saturday, I assumed she had a performance. “She’s probably singing at the theatre.” Kent knew the marriage was totally bogus, but he was still fascinated by the arrangement. “I haven’t talked to her in a while.”
“How does that work? You just don’t see her for a couple of days?”
With one arm over the back of the booth, I drank the scotch, remembering the afternoon Arwen and I drank together. “It’s a pretty big place. She sleeps on the second floor on one side of the house. I’m on the top floor on the opposite side.”
“But you’re fucking her, right?”
The only time I came close was on our wedding night. I didn’t have much interest in her at the time, but when I thought she wanted me, I wasn’t going to say no. That was purely for convenience, nothing else. “No.”
“No?” Kent asked incredulously. “You’re joking. You haven’t fucked your own wife?”
“No.” I took another drink.
He shook his head like he couldn’t believe what I said. “Mav, not to be a dick, but she is gorgeous. On your wedding day, she was the sexiest woman there. She’s probably the sexiest woman everywhere she goes.”
I wasn’t impressed as easily as he was, but I didn’t deny that she was a looker. Ever since I’d been forced to marry her, my desire had been inhibited. She was a commitment I didn’t want to have, not a sexy one-night stand I could kick out the next morning. She was an obligation…and that wasn’t sexy. But as I’d gotten to know her over the last six weeks, I’d started to see her in a new way. She was a smart woman with incredible resilience. Sometimes she fell down…but she always picked herself up again. She’d garnered my respect…somehow.
“You can’t sit there and tell me you disagree,” Kent said. “It’s just not possible.”
“Yes…I think she’s beautiful.”
“Then why are you out drinking with me and the boys when you could be fucking her? Any piece of ass you pick up in here won’t compare.”
My relationship with Arwen had evolved since the night we’d met. There was an alliance between us, a partnership that was based on something akin to friendship. But she didn’t want a physical relationship with me. She knew she could have me if she wanted me…based on our wedding night. Sometimes I caught glimpses of her looking at me, admiring my bare chest. When we kissed, I knew she could feel the heat between our lips. But perhaps that was just biology mixed with chemistry—nothing more. “That’s not how our relationship is.”
“What are you talking about? She’s your wife.”
“She doesn’t want to sleep with me.” I stared ahead and surveyed the people in the bar. It was my birthday, and I wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening by drinking with the guys. I wanted to pretend I didn’t care that my father forgot it was my birthday…and my sister didn’t remember either. Birthdays were just countdowns until death, but I thought it would mean something to my own family. My mother wouldn’t have forgotten.
“Are you sure about that?”
I nodded.
“Is she sleeping with other people?”
“We have an open relationship.” I didn’t care who she slept with, and she didn’t care who I slept with. I just hoped she would open her legs to a man who actually deserved her, not more boys trying to be men. As I got to know her, I realized she deserved more than most people. She had a good heart and a beautifully proud spirit.
“Does that bother you?”
“No.” My answer came out instantly.
“I don’t know…if I had a wife who looked like that, I would be the only one allowed to fuck her.”
I could control her if I wanted to. I could lock her up in the house and make her mine. I could strip away all her rights and turn her into a prisoner. I could threaten to kill any man she talked to, and when she got so horny she lost her mind, she would finally give in and fuck me. But I didn’t want to be that guy. “I don’t see her that way…as my wife. She’s just a means to an end.”
