Whispers Under Water, page 20
Large, almond-shaped eyes appeared. They were the same green as her own, and they stared at her. Her breath caught in her throat and she took a step away. It took all her strength to lift her foot. Sweat cropped up on her forehead from the exertion. Her foot snagged an unseen obstacle as she tried to take another step and she fell.
And fell. Endlessly. There was no ground to catch her.
She wasn’t falling. She was drowning. Ice-cold water swirled around. She twisted. Where was the surface? Her lungs and eyes burned. A bubble escaped between her lips, scuttling away from her and she followed it. She pushed against the water, using it to move upward. Her father’s medallion slipped from her grasp. Its metallic surface winked once and then it was gone. She wanted desperately to go after it, but her lungs screamed for oxygen. Another second and she wouldn’t be able to resist her body’s need to gasp for breath.
The water vanished. She sucked in gulps of air and sat up in her bed. Moonlight poured in the window and her heart beat against her ribcage, pumping adrenaline through her body.
Justine snorted in her sleep and rolled over. Caitriona took deep breaths until her heart calmed and began to slow. She grabbed her phone and checked the time. It was four in the morning. She groaned and flopped back onto her pillow.
She woke up the next morning as her phone rang and vibrated on the desk next to her bed. Caitriona reached for it and hit the button without looking. She draped an arm across her eyes, shielding them from the bright sunlight pouring into the room. Her head pounded like Wile E. Coyote had dropped an anvil on it.
“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you…” Georgia and Wyatt’s voices blasted through the phone.
Caitriona shot up so fast she almost got whiplash. “Hi!” Her voice cracked from excitement. “Thanks, I miss you!”
“We miss you too! I feel like I haven’t talked to you in forever,” Georgia said. “Sorry I missed our call yesterday. How are you? Did you do anything fun?”
Caitriona’s brain struggled to catch up. Her tongue felt like she’d sucked on cotton all night and her lips were sore. Sleep crusties and mascara caked the corners of her eyes. She pressed the phone against her shoulder and rubbed the heels of her hands against her eyelids.
“We went dancing at a bar.”
“Me too. Fun fact, fireball burns more coming up than going down. Pretty sure I know how a dragon feels when it breathes fire.”
Wyatt snorted.
“That sounds awful,” Caitriona said.
“It was quite a sight,” Wyatt said.
The iron band around Caitriona’s heart that had loosened at hearing their voices gave a painful squeeze. She hadn’t realized they were together, thinking instead that they were all on a conference call.
“So did you give it up yet?” Wyatt joked, but it was followed with an, “ow!”
“Don’t be crass, Wyatt,” Georgia said but then whispered, “but really.”
Caitriona rolled her eyes. “No, G.”
“Well, keep me posted.”
“And send pictures!” Wyatt called.
Caitriona laughed. “In your dreams.”
“Literally,” Georgia said. “Ever since you said he looks like Nate Archibald, Wyatt is suddenly far more interested in catching up on some Gossip Girl.”
“You’re one to talk,” Wyatt said, and Caitriona heard their silent staring contest.
Her heart gave another painful twang as their shared moment burst a green bubble of jealousy.
“Anyways, I’m hungry. Can we get breakfast?”
“You go get breakfast. I want to talk to Cat,” Georgia said.
Caitriona’s heart ballooned and she laid back against her pillow. Despite the crushing headache and slight nausea, she wasn’t about to ditch an opportunity to finally catch up with Georgia.
They talked for the next hour. Every minute, Caitriona felt the distance shrink between them. After they said goodbye, Georgia wishing her another Happy Birthday, she hung up with a smile on her face. Just because they didn’t talk every day didn’t mean they weren’t still friends. She’d wildly overreacted yesterday.
Caitriona dialed Fianna’s number.
“Happy Birthday!” Fianna answered. “I have a surprise for you, and I think you’re going to like it,” she said over the sound of a dog barking.
Justine and Alaia sat at the dining table playing a board game when Caitriona emerged from the bedroom.
“Happy…oof!” Alaia laughed. “Birthday?”
Justine turned to look at Caitriona and raised her eyebrows. “You have a stick in your hair.”
Caitriona reached up and felt her hair. It was matted and crunchy. Maybe she should have showered before collapsing into bed last night. She scampered off to the bathroom.
Her hair was so big it had its own gravitational pull. A small twig was tangled in it and her lips and eyes were red and puffy. The black makeup had smeared into a raccoon mask and a blotchy red bruise sat where her neck and collarbone met. She cringed and removed the debris from her snarled hair.
A plume of steam followed her when she emerged a half-hour later. She’d scrubbed half a dozen layers of skin off her face to remove all the residual makeup and had to comb her conditioner through her hair to get out all the knots.
She tousled her hair with a towel. “Better?”
“Much.” Alaia held up a cup of coffee.
“Oh, bless.” Caitriona hugged the cup to her as she sank onto a chair.
Justine pushed a plate towards her. It had their latest invention on it, a banana cut long ways with peanut butter and honey in the middle. They’d dubbed it, The Health Nut Banana Split.
“Dusha still sleeping?” Caitriona nodded towards the bedroom Alaia and Dusha shared.
“Good question. She never came back last night.” The corner of Justine’s mouth twitched.
“Oh, I see.” Caitriona laughed.
She ate her breakfast while Justine and Alaia finished their game. They discussed the night’s events and tried to figure out who had come up with the insanely stupid idea to go skinny-dipping in the lake.
“I thought I heard Eero mention something about it.” Caitriona tried to clear the fog covering her memories of the night. “But was that after someone else already said something?”
“Was it Dusha?” Alaia screwed up her face and tapped a finger to her chin.
The front door to their dorm opened and, as if summoned by her name, Dusha shuffled in. She wore the same clothes from the previous night but her face was washed and clean and her hair was as immaculate as ever.
She froze as they turned to look at her. “Morning.”
Justine and Caitriona burst into laughter and Alaia laughed, but it was more subdued.
Dusha calmly got a cup of coffee and joined them at the table. “And how was the rest of your night, ladies?” She turned full-on towards Caitriona with one eyebrow cocked.
Caitriona shook her head and held up her hands. “Not me. I slept in my own bed.” She gestured to the pajamas she’d put on after her shower, even though she’d technically slept in her clothes.
“Uh-huh. And what’s this?” She brushed Caitriona’s hair over her shoulder and pressed a finger to the bruise on her neck.
Caitriona covered the spot with her hand, a crimson blush causing the rising blood to pool around it. “I have no idea.”
Dusha snorted. She got up and went into the kitchen. “So how was he?”
“What?” Caitriona’s ears got hot. She hid behind her coffee cup.
“He has to be good. You don’t look as good as he does and go this long without lots of practice.”
“What are you talking about?” Alaia frowned in the direction of the kitchen.
But Caitriona, having already endured this conversation with Georgia and Wyatt, knew what Dusha was getting at. In a very serious tone with a slight Southern accent, she mimicked, “I did not have sexual relations with that gentleman.”
Dusha poked her head around the kitchen cabinets. “Well, what are you waiting for?”
Caitriona had learned a lot since gaining three roommates who had vastly diverse backgrounds. Their views on relationships marked only one of their many differences. Dusha was the most experienced of them all. Not that she bragged about it. But she made decisions like a hunter; instinctively and without reservation. Her confidence and self-will paled to nothing Caitriona had ever seen.
“I don’t know. I’m just not there yet.” Caitriona shrugged.
Dusha assessed her for a minute and then nodded. “Good for you.”
“And what about you?” Justine chimed in. “Where were you all night.”
“A lady doesn’t kiss and tell. Or so I’m told.” Dusha came back to the dining area, grinning impishly. She held out a large metal spoon to Caitriona, unwrapping a damp cloth from the end. “Put this on your neck.” She gestured to the spot.
The handle was chilly in Caitriona’s hand and when she touched the end to her skin, it burned. “Ow! Was this in the freezer?”
“It helps, trust me.” Dusha sat down at the table. She turned to Justine and Alaia. “What about you two? I know Remy is totally in love with you.” She looked at Justine, who rolled her eyes, and then turned to Alaia. “And have you even talked to Jasper yet?”
Alaia lost all flecks of color in her face. She opened her mouth and closed it again. She repeated this twice more before getting up and walking away from the table. She hurried into her bedroom and closed the door behind her.
Dusha, Justine, and Caitriona exchanged glances. Dusha’s eyebrows practically disappeared into her hairline, and Justine’s brow furrowed.
“What was that about?” Dusha said, lowering her voice.
Caitriona shook her head and raised her shoulders.
Justine looked at the door. “Something’s been going on with her. I don’t know what, but she’s been really distracted. I tried to talk to her about it the other day, but she shrugged it off.”
Dusha stared at the door too. “Well then.” She got up from the table, Caitriona, and Justine following her. She rapped gently on the door and pushed it open.
Their room was identical to Caitriona and Justine’s, with a few personal effects scattered around. Alaia was sitting on her bed, with her back against the wall and her knees pulled to her chest. Her eyes were red but dry.
She took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize, Alaia. It’s okay.” Caitriona sat next to her on the bed and rubbed her arm. Justine sat on her other side and Dusha leaned against her own bed, crossing her arms.
“I know it’s only been a couple months, but we’re friends now,” Justine said. She swept her arm around the room. “You can talk to us about anything. If you want to.”
Dusha’s restraint broke. “Did Jasper do something? I’ll kick his ass, you know I will, that little-”
“No, no.” Alaia snorted. “No. It’s nothing to do with him. At least, not directly.” She twisted a hair tie round and round in her hands. “I’ve been…struggling with something. It’s not really anything new, but it’s been harder since…lately.”
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want. We don’t mean to pry,” Caitriona said.
Alaia shook her head, staring at her knees. “No, I want to. I need to. I just don’t know how to.”
Dusha assessed Alaia. “Does this have to do with the questions you were asking me the other day?”
Alaia nodded.
“I thought so.” Dusha stepped forward and raised her chin. “You know that no one here is going to care, right? It’s not going to change our opinion of you.”
“Yeah, I know.” Alaia’s voice was small. “I just haven’t ever talked about it with anyone before.”
“I understand.”
Caitriona and Justine bounced back and forth like they were at a tennis match. Caitriona had never seen Alaia so shaken and her heart went out to her. She caught Justine’s discerning eye and knew that they both understood what this conversation was about.
“What about your siblings or your parents? None of them know?” Dusha asked.
Alaia scoffed and then sniffled. “No, definitely not. They’re all younger than me and my parents would be the last people I could tell.” Her voice carried a deep bitterness.
“Alaia, I’m sure your parents will be–” Justine started, but Alaia cut her off.
“No. They won’t.” She scowled at the hair tie in her hand. She stretched it over one finger and shot it across the room. “I love my parents and stepparents. But they are not the most accepting, or understanding, people. They’re very strict.”
“That’s why you never swear.” Caitriona had thought Alaia was being silly at first. But she’d noticed that Alaia had yet to say a single cuss word.
“Yeah. We aren’t even allowed to say crap.”
Dusha gave a low whistle.
“My mom and stepdad are Catholic. And my dad didn’t used to be so bad, but my stepmom is super strict and-” Alaia stopped, her eyes growing large. She chewed on her lower lip before taking a deep breath. In a whisper, she went on, “She’s a part of a pretty crazy religion.”
Caitriona exchanged raised eyebrows with Justine and Dusha.
“But they let you come here,” Justine said. “I can’t imagine learning about this place sat well with them, and their beliefs. But if they can accept that, I have to believe they’ll be okay with–”
“They don’t know.”
This met the room with a deafening silence.
“They don’t know…” Dusha encouraged her to go on.
“They don’t know about ELA, or the island, or any of this.” Alaia gestured around. Caitriona’s mouth dropped open before she snapped it shut. “They would never have let me come here.”
“H-how?” Dusha stammered over the word.
Alaia’s shoulders twitched. Her face was harder than Caitriona had ever seen it. Normally her eyes were bright, and her lips had a natural curve that made her look like she was smiling. But her gaze was steely as she looked out the window. She explained that her parents weren’t home when Viera came and told her about ELA. She kept it from them and told them she got accepted to Michigan State University instead.
Caitriona’s thoughts became distracted as Alaia talked. She’d never considered how everyone else found out about ELA.
“My parents would freak out about this place. And they would for sure freak out about me being… confused,” Alaia said.
“Wow. That’s crazy,” Dusha said.
They sat in silence for a minute, no one knowing quite what to say next.
“How about some lunch?” Justine offered. “We can talk more over some comfort food.”
Alaia shifted in her seat. “I don’t know.”
Sensing her hesitation, Caitriona said, “Would you rather go with just Dusha? We wouldn’t mind, it’s understandable. She has a better idea of what you’re going through.”
Alaia looked to Dusha, who nodded. “Yeah, alright. Thanks, you guys. And I’m sorry, I don’t mean to exclude you, I just–”
“It’s okay, Alaia,” Caitriona stopped her. “I have another friend at home who’s gone through this same thing. Well, not the same thing, but you know what I mean.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. It was a few years ago now, but he really struggled with it at first. Me and our other friend did our best to support him, but we couldn’t totally understand what he was going through. I think it would have really helped to have someone else around to guide him through.” Caitriona gestured to Dusha.
Alaia nodded and gave Dusha a grateful smile.
“Come on.” Dusha held her hands out and pulled Alaia off the bed.
They left the dorm together, but Caitriona and Justine broke off, heading to the cafeteria for lunch while the other two went downtown to find somewhere quieter.
Justine watched Caitriona tapping her fork against her plate. She nudged her elbow. “Aren’t you going to eat?”
Caitriona blinked and refocused. “Hmm?”
Justine mimed scooping something off her plate with her fork and eating it. “Food. Sustenance. Good. You’ve been somewhere else entirely.”
Caitriona looked at her plate. Her sweet potato fries were cold and limp. She pushed her tray away. “How did you find out about ELA?”
“What do you mean? Viera came and told me.”
“When?”
Justine’s head tilted to one side as she analyzed Caitriona. “The first time was two years ago. It was in the spring. Early May. And then she came again this year to give me the orientation packet and make sure I was ready and if I had any questions.”
“Did your parents know before that?”
“No. Did yours?”
Caitriona turned her father’s medallion over and over in her hands under the table. “Yeah. Viera visited them days after I was born.”
“You knew about ELA your whole life?”
“Not exactly.” Caitriona’s stomach felt hollow and it had nothing to do with the full plate before her. In a low whisper, she told Justine about her father’s fairy tales, and then about learning they were true, in some capacity, when she was older. She avoided mentioning that her father had been able to make up such stories because he’d been at ELA, but she knew the diversion was thinly veiled.
Justine stared at Caitriona while she talked, her eyes reading her face like tea leaves. When Caitriona finished, Justine seemed nonplussed. As if she’d known Caitriona had been hiding something. But she didn’t ask Caitriona the question she expected. Instead she said, “Why do you suppose Viera went to see you when you were born?”
Caitriona was forming an answer when Oliver appeared at their table.
