Caroline's Passion, page 7
part #3 of Wilderness Brides Series
Trevor blinked and jumped to the side, avoiding the gelding’s teeth in his skin. He glanced at the burlap in his hand, then back at his horse. Clearly, he’d been rubbing the animal’s hide a bit too roughly.
“Sorry,” he grumbled, and gave the gelding a pat on the neck. “Didn’t mean to let out my grievances on you.”
He tossed the burlap in the corner of the stall, then stepped out into the barn aisle. His horse was watered and fed, and its coat shimmered in the sunlight that streamed in golden ribbons from the rafters. It was a bright and sunny day, yet storm clouds brewed inside Trevor’s head. He kicked at some straw on the ground.
Before coming out to the barn, he’d been about to suggest to Caroline that she ought to go and visit her family before making any rash decisions about staying in Boston, and most of all, about marrying that arrogant doctor. Why did that William fella have to show up this morning?
When Caroline had walked into the kitchen earlier, he’d been sure he’d made the right decision to stay a few days and spend some time with her, gauge her thoughts on Boston, and perhaps sway her to go home with him to Harley’s Hole. While he’d soaked up every moment he could last evening, looking at her discreetly with the dim lights of lanterns flickering in the yard, she’d looked even prettier this morning. Trevor had barely been able to focus on his breakfast with her sitting across from him.
William King’s appearance had ruined it all. Why would she choose to leave this kind of life behind to return to the wilderness? Trevor cursed under his breath. He had nothing to offer her in comparison to what this other man could give her. Here in Boston she’d have a life free of danger and hardships. Wasn’t that what most women wanted? Maybe following Matthew’s advice hadn’t been such a good idea. If he saddled up now, he could put a good twenty miles between himself and Boston before dark, but so far, he hadn’t made a move to gather up his gear.
The hinges on the barn door squeaked, and light streamed into the building. Trevor spun around, and his hand went to the hilt of the knife that rested against his left hip. Years of sleeping with one eye and ear open kept him on edge even when there was no cause for danger.
“Trevor?”
The soft voice of the very person he longed to see, yet should stay far away from, was like music to his ears.
“I’m in here.” He stepped out of the shadows, meeting Caroline in the barn aisle.
“Don’t you have company to attend to?” The question came out a bit harsher than intended. Trevor followed it up with a plastered smile, which concealed what he really wanted to ask. Why was she here in the barn, rather than in the house with her fiancé?
A ribbon of light that snuck in through the open door reflected in Caroline’s hair, making it shimmer like the sun setting over a mountain lake. Trevor fisted his hands while itching to uncoil the hair from the top of her head and run his fingers through her strands. Years ago, she’d worn her long hair down rather than pinned up. Her hairstyle now, while attractive, was yet another reminder that she’d embraced her life in Boston.
Caroline hesitated a moment, no doubt taken aback by the harshness in his tone, but it didn’t stop her for long from approaching him. She wore a reserved smile, as if she was nervous for coming here to find him.
“You look real nice this morning, Caroline.”
Trevor rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. His hastily blurted compliment sounded rather clumsy. Their close friendship seemed as distant now as the Teton Mountains. While she’d been happy and surprised to see him last night, now she was as nervous and unsure around him as he was around her.
“Thank you.” She fidgeted with her hands clasped in front of her while glancing around the barn. The ease with which they used to communicate seemed to have vanished.
“Is something wrong?” Trevor lowered his voice and took a step toward her. He frowned at her hesitant behavior.
“I was hoping you could spare a minute.” She brought her soft eyes up to meet his. Uncertainty flickered there.
“I’ve always had time for you, Caroline. You know that.” He leaned forward, intending to close the distance between them, but he stopped himself in time. He fisted his hands at his sides to subdue the urge to reach out and touch her.
“I wasn’t sure,” she murmured.
She was the one who took another step toward him. Her eyes were round and shimmered as she gazed up at him. Trevor stared. Eyes he’d dreamed about for five long and lonely years, wishing they would shine with love for him, were inches away from his face. The feelings he’d kept locked up in his heart all these years demanded to burst free, to let her know he loved her.
Trevor mentally shook his head. This wasn’t the Caroline from five years ago. The woman standing in front of him was no longer the girl he’d longed for all this time. She was more beautiful than ever, but she’d left her other life behind and was choosing a new life with someone else.
“I need to ask you something, Trevor.”
Trevor smiled, this time for real. “You were never afraid to ask me anything before. It can’t be that bad.”
She laughed nervously and nodded. “You’re the only family member I can talk to since everyone is so far away.” She glanced at her hands, which were still clasped tightly in front of her, then straightened and looked back up at him. “I could sure use a big brother’s advice.”
Trevor clenched his jaw. He cursed silently. The urge raged through him to grab her and pull her into his arms, kiss her and tell her his feelings for her were anything but brotherly, but he stood rooted to the spot. He couldn’t do it. Matthew Osborne had said she only knew him as a brother. How would she react if her ‘brother’ suddenly treated her as a desirable woman? She’d bolt like a deer.
“What can I do for you, Caroline?” He forced the question from his mouth. Right now, she needed a big brother, so that’s what he would offer.
Caroline dropped her gaze again before she answered. When she looked at him, her chest heaved as she drew in a lungful of air and squared her shoulders.
“Do you think I’ve made a mistake by becoming a doctor?”
Trevor frowned. He shook his head. “Why would you say that? Of course not. It’s what you’ve wanted for so long, and you’ve worked hard for it.”
His eyes narrowed as he studied her. What had that fiancé said to her that had suddenly made her so unsure of herself? Caroline offered a weak smile.
She let out a soft scoff. “The professors at the women’s medical college didn’t believe in us. In fact, Professor Gregory never made it a secret that the only reason he taught women medicine was to free up other doctors – men – to do the ‘real’ doctoring while he was training women to deliver babies. Most of the women enrolled in school settled for a midwifery certificate.”
Caroline lifted her head, and a defiant gleam sparkled in her eyes. Trevor’s lips twitched in a suppressed grin. There was the Caroline he remembered, still the quiet girl, but determined like her oldest sister, Cora.
“I went to school and earned a medical degree, not to be trained as a midwife. I told William the same thing.”
“No, you’re a doctor, just like any other doctor who graduated from medical college.” Trevor’s limbs moved of their own will. He took a step closer. His hand reached up, itching to touch her soft cheek, but it landed on her arm instead.
“Is someone telling you that you’re not a real doctor?” William King seemed like just the sort of man who would say that to her, the arrogant bastard. More than likely he wouldn’t want a wife to work alongside him. He didn’t seem like the type who would look at Caroline as his equal.
Trevor’s eyes roamed over her face, etching every detail of her features into his mind. She deserved so much better than William King. Abruptly, he removed his hand from touching her. Another second or two, and he’d have her in his embrace. He took a step back.
“William . . .” Caroline’s voice faltered and she cleared her throat. Trevor cursed under his breath at the pain in her eyes. “William’s father doesn’t seem like the kind of man who wants his future daughter-in-law to practice medicine.” She glanced at him and smiled weakly. “William believes that his father won’t want me as an associate in his practice or hospital.”
“What does William say?” Trevor nearly choked on the name.
Caroline shook her head. “I’m not sure. He hasn’t said anything, really. Only that I should give it time, and perhaps accept the idea of being a midwife for a while until his father can be swayed.”
Trevor turned slightly to the side and laughed. He ran his hand over his scraggly face. The man didn’t have a backbone if he couldn’t even stand up for the woman he wanted for a wife.
“Why is that funny, Trevor?” Caroline stepped around to look directly at him.
The annoyed glare in her eyes churned his insides. Trevor cleared his throat. He forced his features to become serious.
“What advice would you like to hear from me, Caroline? This is a decision you have to make.”
Caroline stared up at him, uncertainty replacing her annoyance. She shrugged.
“Am I making the right decision?” she whispered.
No, dammit! You’re making the worst decision of your life if you marry that spineless weasel.
“What does your gut tell you?” Trevor cursed himself for being a coward, too. While his mind screamed at her to run as far and fast from William King as she could, he’d asked her what her gut was telling her?
“I don’t know. This is my dream, Trevor. I’ve wanted to be a doctor for so long, and everyone encouraged me. Now that I hold my diploma, it seems as if everyone is telling me that a woman can’t be a doctor.”
“Do you want to be here, in Boston?” Trevor held his breath. The real question should have been if she wanted to marry William King.
“I like Boston. It’s become my home, of sorts.”
Trevor erased the distance he’d created a moment ago. His hand reached for hers. His calloused fingers wrapped around her soft palm and drew it toward him. Caroline gazed up at him with warm and trusting eyes.
“Perhaps, before you make any firm decisions, Caroline, you ought to consider going home to Harley’s Hole for a while.”
“We’re so pleased to welcome you into the family, Caroline.”
Caroline’s cheeks hurt from smiling at the woman, William’s mother, who drew her into a quick embrace and gave her a peck on the cheek. There was nothing warm or motherly about the exchange, apparently only done out of formality and for appearances.
“Thank you, Mrs. King.”
Agatha King waved a gloved hand in front of her face. “Oh, no need for such formalities, since you’ll soon be my daughter-in-law. Please do call me Agatha. I’ve always wanted a daughter, and now that my only son has finally decided to marry, I know that you and I will become fast friends in no time.”
Caroline nodded and continued to smile. She glanced around the elegant living room of the King residence. While she’d been in nice homes in Boston before, this one was certainly one of the finer ones. This home was about as different from her cozy cabin in the mountains as a thoroughbred was from a donkey. Images of her family flashed through her mind. The elegantly-dressed woman in front of her couldn’t be more different from her sister, Josie, who preferred to dress in buckskins. Caroline’s smile turned genuine.
Agatha King would most likely look on in horror if she ever met Josie, or any of the Wilder brothers, for that matter. She held her fingers to her lips to suppress the giggle that threatened to erupt. Mrs. King would faint at the sight of Harley Buchanan in his wolf-eared hat, bushy beard, and heavy fur coat. A twinge of homesickness hit her as if she’d been kicked by a horse.
“When William told us the news that he’d asked for your hand, I took the liberty of beginning wedding preparations. Looking at our calendar, it would be lovely if the union could take place in August.”
August? Caroline stared at the woman. That was only a couple of months away. A sinking feeling came over her again.
She didn’t belong here. Could she ever fit in with all this finery? Before setting out on their journey to Oregon, and then ending up in a valley on the west side of the Teton Mountains, she and her sisters had lived on a small farm in Ohio. Not in her wildest dreams had she ever considered living in an expensive home in Boston.
William stood next to her, holding her hand and giving it a squeeze. He smiled broadly and leaned toward her. “Didn’t I tell you my mother would love you?” he whispered against her cheek.
Caroline hesitated with her nod. Whether the woman loved her or not, they came from two completely different worlds. She inhaled deeply. Why not give this woman and family a chance? She hadn’t been here more than a few minutes. While she’d been nervous about this meeting for the last two days, ever since William had invited her for supper to meet his parents, she shouldn’t pass judgment on them so quickly.
“So, my son tells me you attended the New England Female Medical College.”
William King, Sr. addressed her with a stern look in his eyes. His gaze roamed over her as if he was appraising a horse he was purchasing. Caroline squared her shoulders.
“Attended and graduated with a medical degree.” She held the older man’s hard stare.
He took a sip of the drink in his hand. “What will you do after your marriage to my son?”
Caroline’s forehead scrunched. “I’m not sure I understand, Dr. King.” She glanced from William Sr. to his son, who stood quietly next to her.
“My son tells me you are looking to find a position to practice medicine. While it’s a noble career choice, I would assume that, as a married woman, you would want to tend to your husband’s household and raise his children, not work outside the home in a career that’s not suitable for a woman.”
Caroline’s spine stiffened with each word the man uttered. She blinked, and the pulse at her temple throbbed.
“I came to Boston to earn a degree as a medical doctor, and that’s exactly what I would like to do, married or not.”
The older man chuckled, which turned into a laugh. “My dear, I doubt you’ll find anyone in Boston who will allow you to be their physician.”
“I won’t know until I try.”
Dr. King’s face reddened. “My dear, a woman’s place is in the home. As William’s wife, you won’t need to worry about working. My son has the means to take care of you and provide for a life of comfort for you.”
Caroline shook her head. “Finances have nothing to do with this. Being a doctor has been my passion for years. It’s been my dream and my goal.”
“Perhaps, Father, we could offer Caroline a position in the practice, tending to some of our female patients with complaints of a more delicate nature.” William chuckled nervously. “It might be a while before Caroline and I have children of our own. Until we get settled into married life, I don’t see a reason why she couldn’t work outside the home to pass her time.”
Caroline’s eyes shot to her fiancé.
Pass her time? Was that what they all thought practicing medicine meant to her, simply something to pass her time? Anger and annoyance swept through her at the man she’d thought she’d been smitten with for nearly a year.
Instead of standing up for her, he was trying to appease his father. She glared at William, then looked back at his parents. His mother wore an almost horrified look. No doubt she’d always been a prim and proper wife, who tended to the home and her husband, and did what Dr. King told her.
A man dressed in a black suit walked into the room at that moment and announced that dinner was served. Agatha King sighed in visible relief. She practically jumped forward and grabbed Caroline’s hand.
“Time to eat.” She ushered Caroline into the dining room, laughing nervously. “No sense ruining a good dinner with talk of careers and business. I’m sure this will all work itself out in due time. For now, let’s not discuss it any further.”
Caroline gritted her teeth. Now was the perfect time to discuss it, but this was also the first time she’d met William’s parents. Maybe it would be wiser to drop the subject for the moment, at least in front of them.
She forced her way through supper, and another hour of visiting and exchanging meaningless pleasantries with her future in-laws. When William drove her back to the Osbornes, she couldn’t keep quiet any longer.
“I hope you’re going to talk to your parents about me being a doctor and practicing medicine.”
Silence followed, broken up only by the steady clopping of the buggy horse as it trotted down the road.
“Say something, William.” Caroline straightened her back. She turned slightly to see him better, but it was already getting dark.
“I’m not sure what to say, Caroline. What’s wrong with being a midwife? I suggested to my father that you could perhaps tend to female patients.”
“If I had wanted to only deliver babies, I wouldn’t have gone through all that schooling, William. I’m a doctor, same as you. I want to practice medicine. What if Matthew Osborne offers me a position in his practice? Would you and your father be agreeable to that?”
William laughed nervously. “Caroline, as my wife, it wouldn’t look right if you were to be employed by another doctor.”
Caroline adjusted her seat so she looked straight ahead. “Then I hope you can convince your father that I will be working alongside you at the hospital.”
She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment and took in several deep breaths to calm her anger. Three days ago, she’d asked Trevor for his advice. She’d dismissed his suggestion that she go and see her family at the time, even though she would love nothing more.
“It’s too far to travel. I’d be gone from Boston for a year, at least.”
Trevor hadn’t pressed, and shrugged. “You asked for my advice. I gave it to you. Do with it what you want.” With those words, he’d walked away.
