Love, Only Better, page 20
“Oh, I don’t… Thanks,” Rebecca said, taking her package.
I’m an absolute freak. Calm down.
The box was heavy, considering. She gathered the bag into a makeshift handle, swinging it as she walked. It’s just a package. It could be anything on the planet; it could be new shoes.
Keep moving.
Each time Rebecca hit a red light, she crossed the street in the other direction. She sailed through her open lobby door. Neighbors waited for the elevator carrying bags of their own, including Mrs. Portnoy. There was no way Rebecca was going to ride up in an elevator with her wandering eyes. She could probably scan the bar code on the shipping label and tell what was inside the box. Rebecca smiled to all as she passed the elevator bank en route to the stairs. Mrs. Portnoy’s mouth silently opened and closed a few times like a fish before snapping shut.
Rebecca hoofed it up the stairs and was inside her apartment before she heard the elevator pass. She closed the door, bracing it with her back, her shirt sticking to the light sweat trickling down her back.
Grabbing scissors, Rebecca sliced open the end of the bag, careful not to penetrate the cardboard box within. Once opened, she slid out the box to find it sealed within a second opaque plastic wrapper. At this point, she almost wished for less packaging.
“Holy shit, you’re giant,” Rebecca said to the device as she slid it out of the box.
Nearly a foot long, the device was entirely white. She held the hard plastic shaft in her right hand, assessing the weight. Its bulbous head, covered in a leathery-plastic, was filled with some kind of gel. Rebecca depressed her finger, but it yielded reluctantly. Firm. Halfway down the shaft was a black cradle switch with high and low settings. The cord was neatly coiled and bound with a twist tie.
“A lot less threatening than the crap at the Pink Kitten.”
Rebecca set it down and the tossed the loose packaging materials around until she found the DVD at the bottom of the bag. The jacket pictured black silhouetted profiles of three women against a hot pink background, backs arched, mouths open.
She smirked as she read the title: Fulfilled, with Heidi Quinn.
“This better not be more BS,” she said, using her fingernails to rip off the tight plastic wrapper. Leaving her packing mess on the floor, she walked to the living room and popped the disk into the DVD player, checking the television volume to be sure it was as low as humanly possible.
The screen filled with a woman who identified herself as Heidi Quinn. She was the epitome of Irish, with fair, freckled skin and wavy red hair streaked with gray. Closeups revealed deep-set wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, creased in all the “happy” places. She was likely in her mid- to late-fifties. Rebecca sat back, shoulders relaxing. At least this gal looked experienced. Rebecca’s past forays into self-help materials were penned by those so young their success could as easily have been luck as skill.
Heidi stood in her studio, a mostly bare room with plush carpet and pillows on the floor; two small sofas faced each other in the background. The unadorned walls were a pale peach color, which harmonized with the pale woods of the coffee tables and trim. Heidi wore a black unitard, black flats, and spoke in a calm, confident voice. It was only a first impression, but those count too.
“Orgasms are not a Holy Grail reserved for a lucky few, leaving the rest to either pine away hopelessly, or worse, not pine at all. Sex is as important to life as food or air. And it can be enjoyable for all women given the right techniques, practice, and commitment. Today we will visit with three of my clients who each came to me suffering with difficulty achieving orgasms. They left feeling whole and empowered to take on the challenge of their sexual gratification.”
“You’ve got my attention.”
Bright sun was streaming in, so Rebecca drew the shade to make the TV screen more visible.
Woman number one was called Stephanie, she was a forty-five-year-old mother of three whose marriage had suffered because of her lack of interest in sex. She was attractive, tall, and slender with the supple limbs of someone naturally thin who probably never exercised a day in her life. She had blonde hair, and her pale skin was covered with a visible layer of perspiration.
Who wouldn’t be nervous under those circumstances?
“Why don’t you want to have sex with your husband?” Heidi asked.
“Why should I? What’s in it for me? He thrusts away and is done, and I’m left feeling frustrated and used. For me, it’s better to avoid the whole mess entirely.”
“Do you ever masturbate?”
“Goodness, no. I don’t even know how,” Stephanie chortled.
“What brought you to me? Why are you here?”
“I love my husband, but I think our marriage won’t last if we can’t get past this sex situation. I owe it to both of us to try.”
“It’s good you came to me. I’ll walk you through a series of masturbation exercises that should help you to feel the wonderful sensations that your husband experiences. Then you can go home and share what you have learned and start a new sexual chapter in your marriage. Let’s begin.”
Stephanie changed into a black satin robe with red lining and returned to Heidi in the studio, her naked form clearly visible through the open front. Heidi positioned her on the floor with her head propped up on pillows. She talked Stephanie through a series of warm-up exercises where she explored her body and concentrated on the sensations—the same exercises Dr. Costa gave her. Rebecca folded her arms and kept watching.
The woman next explored her labia gently and periodically inserted her finger in her vagina to increase her vaginal lubrication. Heidi then instructed her to bend her knees, let her legs drop to the sides, and take some deep breaths. Heidi then handed her a Magic Wand to move around her body and feel the sensations while avoiding her vagina.
“Popular culture has taught us that the vagina is ground zero for organisms, but for most women, that’s just not the case. The clitoris is the engine that makes this train run, and you have to nurture her gently until she is ready. For some, this takes quite a long time, an hour or more, for others, it is faster, but everyone is different, and there is no one right way.”
That description made a lot more sense than anything the doctors ever said. The video had already paid off, she thought.
Stephanie resumed her exploration, using some situational fantasy scenarios that, from the sounds of it, were based upon preselected choices. Heidi gave her some lubrication, and she resumed her work, sliding her fingers around her labia and then closer to her clitoris until she was rubbing in a fast side to side motion with her fingers. Stephanie’s breathing intensified. She moaned. Heidi encouraged her on. Finally, Stephanie moaned loudly, arched her back, and held herself taut for a moment frozen in space before collapsing, motionless, into her pillows.
Through the sobs, Stephanie spoke about the decades of lost life, for wasted time with her husband, and for her pre-orgasmic self who would never again walk the earth. Heidi congratulated her and spoke soothingly to explain all that had happened and help her to understand the process, so she could duplicate the results at home.
Heidi then walked Stephanie through the process again using the Magic Wand for clitoral stimulation, and she very easily repeated her orgasm from her already heightened state of arousal. This time Stephanie was jubilant, drunk on sensations, and desirous of more.
Rebecca paused the video as a tear escaped. Stephanie achieved her dream—a dream they shared and that many women shared. She stood to pace the living room, breathing, her mind a whirl. Why this reaction from a video? She was acting like Stephanie was an old friend rather than an anonymous woman flickering on a screen.
“How could it be so easy?” Rebecca said to the television.
“What had they done off-camera to get her ready beforehand?”
She resumed the video for the second woman called Margot. She was twenty-two and had never had sex because she was afraid of getting pregnant. She tried to masturbate on her own, but to no avail. Margot came from a very religious family and had no woman in her life to confide in about sexual issues.
“I see people having affairs and getting divorced because the husband and wife are not on the same page when it comes to the bedroom. I don’t want it to be that way with me when I get married someday.”
“You are smart for such a young woman. If more couples addressed their issues of sexual intimacy, far fewer would separate and divorce. Sex is a powerful bonding tool, and sexless couples often see a quick deterioration in their marriages. Many blame child rearing for their reduced sex drive, but more likely, it’s a lack of effort or unequal priorities. Sex and the rituals surrounding foreplay take effort and occasionally planning, many don’t make the effort because they have never experienced those sensations and don’t know what they are missing.”
“Can you help me?”
“No, but you can help yourself.”
Heidi walked Margot through the same process as Stephanie. Heidi did the same things in the same order: light body exploration, focus on sensitive spots, bent knees, spread legs, vaginal penetration, incorporate fantasy, increased intensity, deep breathing, heightened fantasy, bingo!
Margot was so surprised by the intensity that she shrieked loudly and was embarrassed afterward. Heidi was pleased that Margot had abandoned her inhibitions and embraced the moment. Heidi demonstrated the work with the Magic Wand, but Margo’s second orgasm wasn’t as strong.
“I can tell your mind wandered; what were you thinking about?”
“I couldn’t get my mind around that fact that I had finally had one. I was trying to think of all the girlfriends I would tell.”
“How did that distraction affect your sexual sensations?”
“They were less strong. I didn’t realize that my mind was so important to the whole affair.”
“Your mind is almost more important than your clitoris. You must always focus on what you are feeling to get the maximum benefit. Think of something extremely arousing, some sexual scenario that turns you on. You can picture whoever you wish or whatever you wish. If you want to fuck a guy you saw once at Starbucks, have at it. Some women visualize the sensations as colors or heat radiating out and spreading throughout their bodies. Whatever works for you is great, but you must stay focused.”
“I will. Thank you!”
This procedure seemed infallible. Rebecca wasn’t necessarily learning anything books, doctors, and videos hadn’t already taught her. But this woman put it all together and—most importantly—she removed the shame. Heidi made it okay to want an orgasm. More than okay, essential. Tears were streaming down Rebecca’s face as the stories rolled on.
The third woman was Josie, aged thirty-four.
“I’ve had orgasms before, not the greatest, but I can only have them with a partner. I haven’t dated anyone in forever, and I’d like to have an orgasm again.”
“That problem is more common than you might think, Josie. What enables you to reach climax with a partner?”
“Well, there’s usually some foreplay, sometimes lots of flirting for hours throughout the night, so I really get going. I can feel her twitching down there when I’m fully clothed sitting in a restaurant. Anyway, I’ve been fortunate to date guys that love oral sex, so I get to sit back and let them munch away. Sometimes I get really aroused by giving him oral sex. Anyway, by the time he penetrates, I’ve probably already had an orgasm from the oral and foreplay alone. Now that I’m not dating anyone, I’ve been unable to duplicate that intensity on my own.”
“This sounds like something that we can easily fix. It should begin with prolonged self-foreplay. You should feel free to use erotic videos, magazines, or books to help you get into the mood and set the stage for a role-play. Pick a character and a scenario you can focus on while you physically heighten the sensations with your hands and with a vibrator. Let’s begin.”
Heidi went through the same steps as with Stephanie and Margot, but helped Josie along in the fantasy department by having her speak her fantasy aloud, then asking probing questions to move the plot forward. She was in Josie’s brain sharing her most intimate personal fantasies and witnessing their culmination in an intense orgasm that made Josie stiffen and scream aloud. This time, Heidi did not go for number two with the Magic Wand. Maybe they did that off-camera afterward, but Josie looked spent.
Rebecca shut off the DVD.
Should she try for one right now?
In a strange sense, she had already shared five orgasms with her sisters-in-arms. How could she possibly top that?
Chapter 28
The doorbell double rang.
Shit!
Rebecca stood naked from a shower with no exit plan. After the afternoon she’d had, she wanted sex more than anything. She threw on a robe to answer the door, opening it just wide enough to peep her head around.
“Hi,” she said.
“I see you got home.”
“Yeah, getting drunk was very unlike Joe. Sorry about that,” Rebecca said, shifting a mass of curls behind her right ear.
“Can I come in?”
“Um. I’m not dressed.”
“That’s fine by me,” Kyle said.
“Um.”
“Are we okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“Hiding behind the door, escaping with Barbara. Something feels different.”
“Northing’s different.”
“Can I come in, then?”
“Yes, of course.” Rebecca stood back so Kyle could enter.
Kyle spun around to face her. “Did I do something wrong?”
“Oh no, really. It’s me. I just…”
“Just what?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Well, it could be a lot of things, but it’s not nothing.”
“It’s stupid.”
“I’m all ears,” Kyle said, sitting down on the sofa.
“I’ve been worried about being alone.”
“With me?”
“Yes.”
“You think I’m going to hurt you?”
“No, nothing like that.”
“Then, what? Help me out here, Rebecca, because I’m lost.”
Rebecca sat down next to him, legs folder under. “It’s because of me.”
He raised his eyebrows with an “and” look.
“I’m just going to blurt it out.”
“Okay…” Kyle said with a smile.
“I think you’re super-hot, and I can’t really control myself around you.”
Kyle’s face erupted into a broad smile. “Is that so?”
“Yes.”
“So, this coy thing is…?”
“For your protection.”
“Well, that’s a first.” Kyle sat back, arms folded behind his head. “A girl trying to protect my honor.”
Rebecca slouched. “I’m so glad you understand.”
“But what if I don’t want to be protected? My honor, that is. What then?”
“Um.”
“Um, what?”
“You’re really making me come clean, huh?”
“No more secrets.”
“No more secrets. Got it.”
Something about him made her melt into a puddle. She couldn’t explain it. Telling him was suicide for their bedroom life, but not telling him would likely mean no bedroom life at all. She’d already used eight of their nine relationship lives in short order. She couldn’t blow the last one. His blue eyes bore holes in her defenses.
Rebecca squinted. “I’ve also been told that I’m not very good. You know. In bed.”
“I don’t believe it.”
“It’s true. My last boyfriend said so.”
“Really?”
“Yes.
“Well, I’ve never met him, but I can tell he was a putz.”
Rebecca laughed. “Yes, he is. Was. A putz. He’s the royal king of putzes.”
“I don’t take dating advice from the putzes.”
Kyle had lifted her onto his lap. Cupping Rebecca’s head, he drew her in for a deep kiss.
His scent filled her senses. She sat back, staring into his celestial eyes.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Are you?”
“I’m not sure about anything anymore.”
They kissed again. Kyle slid his hands inside her robe. He caressed her shoulders and passed his lips ever-so-lightly over her breasts. Rebecca arched into his embrace, and he drew closer. She wrapped one leg around him and could feel him growing hard in his pants. Rebecca reached down to unfasten his zipper, but he moved her hand away and continued to nibble her neck.
Rebecca closed her eyes to focus on the sensations of his soft lips on her body. No one had ever spent this much time just kissing her neck, ears, and face. Her clit pulsed, begging for attention.
Kyle gradually moved south, kissing Rebecca’s collar bones until getting thwarted by the bathrobe which constrained her arms. He rectified that by removing the robe, and she sat up slightly to assist in the maneuver. Rebecca reached to his waist, grabbing for the bottom edges of his T-shirt. Kyle intervened, removing it with one graceful motion.
Rebecca gasped. It was the most magnificent torso she had seen outside of GQ. She devoured his chest with her eyes. It was the first time she caught him relishing his hotness. He knew that his smooth olive skin, toned chest, and tight abs were impressive. Rebecca ran her hands across his body from his abs up to his shoulders before grabbing him and pulling him down on top of her.
She wrapped him with her legs, and he cupped Rebecca’s bottom, gently squeezing it and pulling her in closer to him. She was lost in her senses when Kyle suddenly stood up with Rebecca clamped on.
“It’s time for me to see your bedroom,” he said, carrying her down the hall and depositing her onto the bed with a bounce. He scrambled out of his clothes and shoes, crawled on top of her.
Rebecca rolled over on top of him and smiled down. He smiled back and gently slid her forward, so she was sitting on his face with her elbows resting on the headboard.
This is new…
She never liked guys to do oral sex, and Ethan had never tried. Rebecca closed her eyes and mind, focusing only on sensations. His tongue was flicking, exploring her. Warm and wet, just the thought that the warm wetness was coming from Kyle was…
