The Librarian's Journey, page 15
Ruth hesitated for a moment, looking to him for guidance. He took her hand in his, her fingers soft and fragile in his big claw. “If it gets Lily some help, you need to tell her.”
She nodded, then shifted back to face Miss Grace, her cheeks turning pink. “I can’t give too many details, but it’s of the feminine nature.” Ruth glanced around. “If I could speak to the doctor, I could go into more detail.”
“Dear, we don’t have a doctor on staff.”
Will felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. Poor Lily. No one seemed able to help her. And Ruthie. He squeezed her hand. She’d put all her hopes into a doctor that didn’t exist.
“Maybe I can help you.” Miss Grace gave them a hopeful smile.
Will didn’t want to get Ruthie’s hopes up. “How?”
She reached out and patted Ruth’s hand as if to comfort her. “When I’m not here volunteering, I’m a midwife.”
Chapter Ten
Ruthie stared out over the windshield of Will’s Model T, trying to digest everything that had taken place over the last hour. Grace O’Leary, the lady they had just met, was a midwife who was willing to help Lily. Ruthie could scarce believe it.
Will took his place behind the wheel and turned to her, his eyes wide with amazement. “I don’t know about you, but I’m always humbled when I see a God-given miracle happen right before my eyes.”
She wasn’t sure she believed in miracles anymore. Oh, she prayed for them for her patients, sometimes for herself, but she never got an answer. It was almost as if God wasn’t listening. Or maybe He is, but it’s not the answer you want.
But there was no denying Miss Grace was an answer to prayer. At least He’s answering someone’s prayers, just not mine. “I never would have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself.”
“Spoken like someone who doesn’t believe in miracles.” He started the engine and put the car in gear.
“No, I guess I don’t.”
“Really?” Disbelief echoed in his voice. “I would have thought if anyone believed in miracles, it would be you.” He turned the car onto Main Street. “You know, working at the hospital and everything.”
She couldn’t help but snort. “Miracles are few and far between in my experience.”
“It’s sad that you feel that way,” he said. “Maybe you’re not looking hard enough for them.”
The man could be so annoying at times. “You can’t see something that’s not there.”
“O ye of little faith,” he teased, his expression relaxed almost as if he expected some astonishing feat to happen every day. “What if I can show you three miracles in your life? Will you believe in them then?”
This could get good. Ruthie stretched out her legs and got comfortable. “I’d like to see you try. And they can’t be anything like a beautiful sunrise or food on the table. I want to hear bona fide miracles.”
“All right,” he answered, not nearly as comfortable as before. “Well for one, the time at Blue Lake Springs when you almost drowned. Remember?”
How could she forget? She’d been so scared. Frantic cries rang above her as the water pulled her down. Ruthie had not been in the water since. It was the whole reason she’d avoided swimming for all these years. “Yes, but how does that qualify as a miracle?”
“You don’t remember? The mysterious man who pulled you from the brink of death. No one knew who he was, and when I went to thank him…”
“He was gone.”
Ruthie had forgotten about that. It was like the man had vanished into thin air. Momma said it was one of those “angels among us,” but she thought they had better things to do than rescue a thirteen-year-old girl.
“All right, I’ll give that one to you.”
His smile turned up a notch. “Number two. Nursing school.”
“What about nursing school?”
“When you went to pay for classes, you found out someone had already paid the entire bill.”
She jerked her head around to look at him. “How did you know that?”
“Your mother.” He maneuvered the car onto the highway. “She liked to tell the story about how some benefactor funded your entire nursing school tuition. She told all the ladies in her Sunday school class that it was a confirmation from the Lord Himself that you were in His will.”
Her lips twitched up at the corners. She’d long suspected Will had something to do with the money, but he was as broke as she was back then so she wasn’t sure why she suspected him. “I still don’t know who gave me the money to go to school, but I have my lists of possible subjects.”
“Hmm. Maybe we could go over them together.”
“Oh no.” Ruthie enjoyed this playful back-and-forth between them, but then it had always been easy to talk to Will. “You still have one more miracle to produce, and it better be a good one.”
“Let me see.” He stared out at the road as if looking for an answer. His expression softened, and a smile played on his lips. “You might not think this is one, but it is.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.”
Will drew in a deep breath, then glanced at her, his eyes full of admiration and affection. “The miracle is you, Ruthie.”
His answer startled her. “Me?”
He nodded. “You’re back in Pine Mountain through no fault of your own. You’re willing to help Lily and so many others who need your nursing skills. Because of you, people have a chance at their own miracles, and that’s truly a blessing from God.”
She didn’t know what to say. For the first time in a long while, she felt special, even loved. But it didn’t stop the painful feelings that had been her constant companion since her dismissal. “Then why did God allow me to lose my job if I’m such a miracle?”
“I don’t know, Ruthie,” Will said. “But He has a purpose in everything He does.”
“I know. I’m just not sure I believe that anymore.”
“Coming back home wasn’t your miracle,” Will said. “It was mine.”
His? Her heart did a little flip. Why had Will wanted her home? Did he miss her like she did him? Was that why he wanted her back? “Why?”
“Because I wanted you home. I started praying for you to come back almost as soon as you got on that bus.”
He’d been praying for that long? But he didn’t want to marry her, so why was he asking God to send her home. “Why did you do that?”
Will hesitated a moment as if putting his thoughts together. “I couldn’t tell you everything I wanted to at the bus stop that day. Things you deserved to know. It’s only now that I’ve been able to.”
What did he mean by that? What things? Had he finally got up the nerve to tell her the truth, that he didn’t want to marry her? Maybe she didn’t want to know. It would hurt too much. Ruthie smoothed the scarf over her hair. “It’s all right. I know you changed your mind.”
His grip tightened on the steering wheel. “Where in blue heavens did you get that idea?”
Good grief, did she have to spell it out? “I got it from the fact that after months of planning, you came to the bus station on what was supposed to be our wedding day and told me you had no plans of leaving Pine Mountain,” she snapped, irritation getting the best of her. She closed her eyes and took a steadying breath. “But you did leave. You left for college a year later.”
Will made a sharp turn into a rest area on the side of the road. Once he shut off the motor and put the car in neutral, he turned to her, his expression serious. “The reason I had to stay didn’t have anything to do with you. It was my mother.”
This didn’t make sense. “Your mother?”
Will took one of her hands in his as if he needed support and there was no one else available. “Do you remember my father dying about six months before you graduated?”
“I remember.” Will had been so brave, doing everything he could for his distraught mother while tending to Luke. She’d been there when he finally broke down and gave in to his grief.
“Momma didn’t take it too well. That first month after Dad passed, she didn’t leave her bedroom except to use the outhouse. She stopped eating and bathing.” He lowered his gaze to their joined hands. “She tried to starve herself to death.”
Dear heavens! She’d never had a clue that Will was dealing with this at home, but then she’d been so wound up in her own life. Graduation. The beginning of nursing school. Their wedding. She’d never stopped to wonder how Will was coping. Guilt settled over her.“Why didn’t you say something?”
He shrugged a broad shoulder. “Momma begged me not to. She knew how people would respond if they knew she’d had a breakdown. And to be honest, I was too young and stupid to know what to do. I finally took her to a doctor down in Milledgeville.” Will lifted his head to meet her gaze, a look of despair in his eyes. “A couple of hours after you left on the bus, I took Momma down to the mental institution in Milledgeville and had her committed.”
Her heart ached for him. That he’d managed to keep his mother’s secret and get her the help she needed was nothing short of miraculous. And he hadn’t said a word about it to Ruthie.
She didn’t know whether to hurt for him or be angry.
“You could have told me, Will. I wouldn’t have spilled the beans about her condition, and I could have been there to give you support.”
He leaned back against the driver’s side door, disengaging his hand from hers. “I couldn’t do that to you.”
“What? You couldn’t be honest with me?”The more she thought about it, the angrier she felt. “I cried all the way to Atlanta, thinking that I’d done something wrong, that you had changed your mind about marrying me, when all you had to do was tell me the truth.”
“I wanted to tell you, trust me.” He raked his hands through his hair in frustration. “But the doctors were against it. They were afraid if word got around, it would make things bad for all of us. And I know you. If I’d have told you, you would have missed your chance to go to school, and I couldn’t do that to you, not when school was all you talked about.”
He was right. She would have ditched school in a heartbeat if he’d needed her. But it still stung that he hadn’t told her about his mother. It felt like a betrayal. “Why did you tell me now?”
“It was time you knew the truth. Not that it’s done either of us any good.”
Had it done any good? Ruthie wasn’t certain. She’d need time to process what she’d just learned. For the moment, she needed to focus on Lily’s procedure and the folks under her care. But she couldn’t stop thinking about one thing he’d said.
Will wanted to marry me.
Her heart rejoiced.
Chapter Eleven
Will grabbed the picnic basket and blankets from the backseat, then opened his car door. Ruthie hadn’t said a word since he’d told her about his mother’s breakdown. That was never a good sign. One of the things he’d always loved about her was he knew where he stood with her. No feminine wiles or silly games. She was honest almost to a fault and expected the same from everyone else.
He walked around the car and opened the door, helping her out with his free hand. Glancing around, he spotted a picnic table almost hidden from the road. “There’s a table over there. Does that look okay to you?”
She nodded.
They took the gravel walkway over to the table where he laid the basket down. Unfolding the blankets, he spread one on the table and another across the concrete bench. Ruthie started unpacking the basket. “You brought a lot of food.”
“What can I say? I’m a growing boy.”
Shaking her head, Ruthie rolled her eyes. “You’ve been saying that since we were kids.”
“Yeah well.” He laughed. “Momma always says to pack more than you need rather than run out.”
She handed him a sandwich wrapped in wax paper. “Have you gone on a lot of picnics since I left for school?”
Will unwrapped his sandwich. Ruthie was fishing for an answer, and he was ready to give it. “I haven’t had any time for picnics. Too busy getting the school started.”
“Oh.” Her lips tilted up in a soft smile as she took the seat next to him. Once she’d unwrapped her sandwich, she turned to him. “Would you like to pray?”
He said a quick prayer, then dug into his tomato sandwich. He’d barely taken his first bite when she spoke. “I understand why you didn’t tell me about your mother.”
Will struggled to swallow the bite. “You do?”
She nodded. “I worked with mentally ill patients my first year in school. I saw the way the people at the hospital treated them, like they were lepers or something.” She met his gaze. “They were terrible to their families too, treated them like they were less than a person.”
“That was the same thing Momma’s doctor said. He said some of his patients were forced to move when word got out. Sometimes their own family didn’t want anything more to do with them.”
Ruthie rested her hand on his arm. “I wish I could have been here for you.”
“That means a lot.” In that moment, the past with all its secrets and pain passed away. He felt lighter, the burden he’d been carrying suddenly lifted. The sky seemed bluer, though not as blue as Ruthie’s eyes. Hope he’d long forgotten took root in his heart.
And it was all because of Ruthie.
His brother had been right. She was his swan, and he would love her for the rest of his life. Will stole a glance at her. If he had his way, she’d stay here forever. The people in their community needed Ruthie’s nursing skills just like they needed the school.
But what about her hopes and dreams? She’d applied to a whole bunch of jobs in Atlanta. Though she loved nursing, she’d never seemed happy with some of the other things like cleaning rooms and painting that her job required. Yet if that was what she wanted, if she was completely happy there, he wanted that for her—even if it meant they were apart.
“You’re the one who put the money in my bank account for school, weren’t you?” She dabbed a napkin to the corner of her mouth. “It was the money you’d saved to pay for your college expenses.”
How had she figured that out? “Why do you say that?”
She tilted her head to the side. “Because it’s like you to do something like that for me. You’ve always been big on education, and you knew how much I wanted to go to school.” Her cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink. “And you loved me.”
“I probably should have told you, but I was afraid you wouldn’t take it, and I thought at least one of us should go to school.”
Her expression softened, a glint of wonder and affection in her eyes. “You could have used it to help with your mother.”
“Dad saved almost every penny he earned at the mill, so Momma had enough to support her.” He reached for her hand, his heart soaring when she entwined her fingers with his. “I wanted to support your dream.”
She gave him a playful shove, then leaned against him. “Thank you. You’re the most generous person I know. I just wish there was something I could do for you.”
Stay. Will pressed his lips together to keep the word from escaping. Asking Ruthie to stay in Pine Mountain would clip her wings. If she stayed because of him, she might regret it and blame him. No, she needed to make that choice, not him.
His second wish was just as far-fetched. “A kiss?”
Her gaze shifted to his lips, and his muscles tightened. “All right.”
Will put his arm around her and pulled her closer, her soft curves a perfect match to his sharp angles. She grabbed the lapels of his jacket and brought his face level with hers. He leaned his forehead against hers, simply enjoying the feel of Ruthie in his arms—the faint smell of mint that always clung to her, the softness of her skin.
She lifted her head to meet his gaze, her lips slightly parted. He chuckled softly as he lowered his head and brushed his lips across her cheek. “Not so fast, sweetheart. Let’s enjoy this.”
“All…right,” she breathed. “Will?”
“Yes?” He kissed the tip of her nose.
“I haven’t been kissed in a very long time,” she hesitated. “Not since the time you kissed me at the bus station.”
Tenderness for this woman welled up inside of him. “You think you’ve forgotten how?”
“Maybe.”
“Well, let’s see.” He brushed his lips against hers, memorizing the little indention in her upper lip and the soft sound she made when he pressed his mouth on hers. Her fingers curled in his jacket, drawing him even closer. She gave a little sigh when he buried his hand in her hair, holding her still while he deepened the kiss. He’d been a boy the last time he’d kissed Ruthie, but this kiss didn’t compare to any of those. He felt it on more levels, as if they were connected, tied together by some invisible cord, and he never wanted to let her go.
Now if he could just convince her she would be happy in Pine Mountain.
That was a very big if.
Chapter Twelve
Grace O’Leary pushed back a heavy coil of Lily’s hair from her forehead as the young woman continued to sleep. “She seems to be doing well. Her vital signs are normal, and there’s no sign of fever.” She glanced over her shoulder at Ruthie. “I think she’s out of the woods.”
“Praise the Lord.” Ruthie breathed a sigh of relief. “Those first few days after the procedure, she scared me to death with the fever and hallucinations. They were particularly bad at night.”
“That must have been tough on you too. I heard you’ve spent the last week here with her.” The older woman stood, then adjusted the bedclothes around her patient.“At least you didn’t have the children underfoot.”
“My sister, Clara, has been a sweetheart, helping out with the kids. And of course my parents love having little ones around.” Ruthie snorted. “Clara says my daddy has been teaching Johnny how to ride. I thought he was too young, but Daddy thinks he’s a natural at it.”
“Lily will appreciate everything that you’ve done.”
“It’s not much.” It wasn’t. At least, Ruthie didn’t think so. Now if she’d been qualified to perform the procedure, that would have been a different cup of coffee. As it was now, she hadn’t done that much at all.
