The Fall of Crazy House, page 3
Then Strepp turned to my sister. “Cassie, your assignment is to stay here.”
12
CASSIE
MY WHAT WAS TO WHO now??
Hadn’t I just gotten my assignment? To go with Becca and be awesome?
“What?” I blurted.
Ms. Strepp walked around her desk and sat back down. She tapped a pile of papers into a tidy stack and went on coolly. “Everything that we know about the Outerlands, everything I’ve shown you, is just a tiny bit of what we need to battle the United, to overthrow its power,” she said. “We need more facts. I need you to head up the research department, integrating info that scouts bring back, as well as trying to hack into the information pathways of the United. Believe me, this job is every bit as important as Becca’s.”
I was speechless, like I’d just been thrown back into that damn cold river. Heat rose in my face and I knew I was turning pink. Maybe smoke was actually coming out of my ears. It felt possible.
This was a shit assignment. My fingers itched for my rifle—I’d been trained to be a soldier, not a paper-pusher. I wanted to scream, refuse, and throttle Ms. Strepp. It took everything in me to simply stand still without reacting, like a soldier. But my face tightened and my breath came fast.
After a moment she spoke again, her voice one tiny degree softer. “Look,” she said. “Things weren’t always like this. Something happened to change our world, to divide it into cells and non-cells, and people into cellfolk and Outerlanders. What happened? We don’t know! Your job is to find out. While you’ve been training, Resistance soldiers have been hunting down and collecting this information. It’s time for you to get to work.”
Still seemed like a shit assignment, though part of me could see how that info might be useful. But goddamnit! What was wrong with me that I couldn’t be a scout with Becca? Had it been about the leadership test?
I was humiliated and furious. The only good thing was that at least Tim and Nate would have Becca’s back.
13
BECCA
THIS WHOLE TIME, NATE AND Tim had been standing at attention. Without even seeing their faces, I could tell they’d both been excited to be on the scout squad, and been dumbfounded at Cassie’s assignment. I was crushed about leaving Cassie behind, but was glad I would still have Nate and Tim to back me up.
“Continuing,” Strepp said, looking up at us, “I’ve noticed that you four have paired up into couples. I think the whole camp knows that you’ve paired up into couples.”
I hadn’t expected this. So what? I thought. There wasn’t a law against it.
“It’s like you haven’t learned anything,” she said, suddenly enraged. “Like you haven’t learned that death is imminent, that the future is uncertain!” She slammed a paperweight down on her desk, angry spots showing in her thin cheeks. “Ties are lethal. You saw how Cassie’s tie to Becca almost cost her everything. It’s a weakness.” She practically spat the words. “It’s normal and useful to bond with your fellow soldiers—your lives depend on it. But what you’ve done is more than that, and it’s dangerous. It makes you vulnerable.”
I kept my face blank, sure that the other three were doing the same.
“And if you’re vulnerable,” she said, “then you’re risking all of us. Do you see that?”
Well, maybe. I guess. A little. But she was way overreacting.
Suddenly she slammed both hands on her desk, making me jump. “Do you see that?” she roared.
From me she got a sullen nod.
“My job is to keep you from putting all of us at risk,” she said. “Which is why Tim is going to stay here and help Cassie. He’s a strong fighter, but that’s his only strength. Helping with research will make him more rounded.”
“What?” Tim said, stepping forward. “No way! I’m going with Becca!”
Strepp emitted wafts of frigid air as she narrowed her eyes at him. When she spoke, her voice was very quiet and rigidly controlled, each word like a bullet. “You will stay here and help Cassie, or you will leave camp now, this minute, alone. Are we clear?”
I felt Tim’s anger, his indecision. Knowing that I wouldn’t have him on my team was a huge blow. No one else would have my back like he or Cassie would.
“Nate? You will be going with Becca.”
Nate opened his mouth to speak but Strepp held up her hand.
“The only answer I’m looking for here is ‘Yes, ma’am’!” she snapped. “This is not up for debate. These are not suggestions. These are your orders and you will carry them out as commanded or you will leave now, with only your self-righteous sense of entitlement to protect you!”
My jaw hurt from clenching my teeth. I had nothing against Nate, but he wasn’t Tim in a firefight. I had to get out of here right now before my head exploded.
“Are we clear?” she demanded again.
We nodded and mumbled affirmatively.
“Then you are dismissed,” she said, and turned her back on us.
14
AS SOON AS WE WERE out of Strepp’s hearing, Cassie burst out, “This is bullshit!”
“You got that right,” Tim said grimly.
The four of us ducked behind the mess tent, then stood and stared at each other. I was still happy about my assignment, but felt sick at losing Cassie and Tim. My sister’s face was flushed pink, and I knew how she felt.
“Is this another test from Ms. Strepp?” Cassie asked. “Is everything still a test, all the time?”
“We should have been more careful,” Nate said bitterly. “We should have hidden our feelings, our relationships.”
“If we have to hide our relationships, then what are we fighting for?” Cassie exclaimed. “I mean, ‘we will be free’ means we will be free, right?”
“Yeah,” Tim agreed bleakly. “Like, I just can’t do the whole research thing.”
I didn’t know what to say. Tim was from a manufacturing cell, where kids left school and started working when they were twelve. He was smart but hadn’t had the same schooling the three of us had had.
Cassie covered her face with her hands, obviously embarrassed, like she wasn’t good enough for the Resistance Army. I put my arms around her, touching her forehead with mine. She tried to pull away but I held her more tightly.
“Hey,” I said. “I want you on my team. I don’t know what Strepp is doing, but I’d give anything to have you with me. No one’s as kickass as a Greenfield, am I right?”
Cassie shrugged angrily. “Easy for you to say.”
“Look, Strepp is separating us,” I said. “This war will separate us. Death might separate us! But don’t you ever separate us, you got that? I’m sorry you’re mad, I wish like hell you were going with me, but don’t you dare pull away from me. Not ever. You hear me? No matter what!”
Slowly, my twin raised her eyes, met mine. After a minute, she nodded. She put her arms around me and we hugged each other as if we would never come apart.
15
CASSIE
BECCA, NATE, AND A FEW dozen other troops had been ordered to leave the next morning before dawn. Tim and I were there to say goodbye. We weren’t the only ones staying behind—most of the kid soldiers were assigned to the camp for additional training and to keep things running. Only the lucky few got to go out on assignment. All of us getting left behind looked miserable and angry. I know I did.
I saw Becca’s squad off to one side as they put finishing touches on their gear. Their team was Becca, Nate, a girl called Bunny, and three kids I didn’t know. Bunny was taller and heavier than Becca, with a black Afro crew cut and a scar on her face at the corner of her mouth. She was a good fighter and I was glad she was on my sister’s team.
I tried to smile when Becca broke rank and came over to me.
“Stop that,” Becca said briskly. “You look like a dying cow.”
“You guys are loaded for bear,” I observed, trying to sound casual.
“Yeah,” Becca said, hoisting a backpack onto her shoulders. “I didn’t even know we had all this stuff.” She got her backpack situated and looked at me, then made a circle with her thumb and her index finger. After a moment, I made one, too, and joined it with Becca’s to make a connected link. I was overwhelmed with love for my exasperating, reckless sister, and this goodbye might be our last one. My chest felt like a horse was sitting on it and it was hard to breathe.
“You and me forever,” Becca said softly.
I could hardly speak, but I needed to show Becca that I wouldn’t be the one to split us apart.
“You and me forever.” We hugged goodbye, breaking off too soon so we wouldn’t start bawling.
Then Becca hugged Tim, whispering stuff to him, and I faced Nate, who looked deeply unhappy. He was my first real boyfriend. My first real love. He might also be my last. Just realizing that made me want to shriek like a banshee. Us fighting side by side hadn’t bothered me. Now we were getting split up. We might never hold hands again, never kiss again, and it felt like my heart was getting ripped out of my chest.
As if he could tell what I was feeling, Nate smiled bravely but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ll be back,” he said firmly.
I couldn’t even pretend to believe that, be sure of that. I wanted to say so many things, tell him I loved him, assure him that we would get married someday, but all I could come up with was, “Don’t—don’t do anything stupid. You and Becca stick together, got it?”
A pompous look came over his handsome face and he put on his most annoying son-of-a-Provost voice. “I’m incapable of doing anything stupid.” Then he grinned at me, a bit wobbly, and crushed me to his chest. “I’m going to come back to you,” he whispered.
I nodded, but inside I thought, We’re all going to die. And I’m never going to see you again.
Over Nate’s shoulder I saw Strepp looking at us, her eyes narrowed. What an inhuman bitch. Didn’t she know that separating Becca and me weakened us both? Didn’t she know that Becca would fight better with Tim at her side?
Maybe Ms. Strepp wasn’t human. Maybe she was a cyborg.
It was the only explanation that made sense.
16
TIM AND I SILENTLY WATCHED the various groups head out of the compound, knowing they would split up to head in different directions. My chest ached with wanting to be with them. My biggest fear wasn’t that Becca or I would die—but that one of us would die without the other. My throat hurt and I knew if I tried to speak it would come out in a bitter croak.
I barely noticed that other soldiers, armed with clipboards instead of weapons, had started hustling some of us remaining losers off to our new jobs—KP duty, watchtower shift, maybe advanced weapons training. In case we might ever actually need to use weapons.
“You,” a voice said, and I looked up to see a tall, wiry girl with red hair and freckles standing in front of me. She held a rifle and wore a thin purple armband—she was a guard, as opposed to a soldier. Guards were enforcers, answerable only to Ms. Strepp.
“What,” I said, matching her narrow-eyed gaze.
“You two come with me,” she said. “Ms. Strepp is waiting for you.”
Right then I could have cheerfully told Strepp to go screw herself, but Tim fell into line behind the guard, his large hands curled into fists. Sighing, I followed him, my jaw clenched with fury and my neck stiff from tension.
Once inside the main building, the guard led us to a door and rapped it firmly.
“Come in,” said that horrible voice.
The guard opened the door and motioned us through, then stood behind us at attention.
“Thank you, Havers,” Ms. Strepp said, and the guard turned smartly and marched out the door, closing it behind her.
Once the three of us were alone, Ms. Strepp looked us up and down, nodding to herself. Suddenly she caught my eyes with a sharp, knowing look.
“Still pissed?” she asked.
“Yep,” I said, deliberately looking away.
“You bet,” Tim said, his voice hard.
“Sorry about that,” she said briskly, not sounding sorry at all. “But I need you here. I made the right decision.”
It took all my willpower not to say, “Whatever.”
Quickly she crossed to her office door and locked it, very quietly. Then, motioning at us, she led us to another door and opened it, revealing a short, dark hallway. It led to a crummy, old-fashioned bathroom, apparently just for her personal use.
Oh, my God, I thought in despair. I am here to literally scrub toilets. My contribution to the Resistance would be sparkling toilets. My heart sank and I wanted to both shriek in rage and break down crying.
We stood in silence, looking at the bathroom. It was small and rough with a chipped, rust-stained sink and an old-fashioned pull-chain toilet. The walls were crumbling brick, their layers of paint showing tan, blue, then institution green.
I refused to be the first one to speak. Tim, beside me, was practically vibrating with anger and disappointment.
With the three of us crowding in, Ms. Strepp closed and locked this door, too. For the first time, a flicker of fear edged into my anger. This was not a good situation. If Tim and I suddenly disappeared, not a single person would notice or care. Shit. What was happening?
Suddenly she leaned down and pressed one of the caps on the toilet’s base that covered the screw holding it to the floor. Tim and I shot each other lightning glances as Ms. Strepp stepped back quickly… and the painted brick wall opened smoothly and turned, revealing a perfectly hidden narrow hallway.
“What I had been expecting” had taken a left turn back when she locked us in the bathroom. Now, as she stepped through the doorway into an inky darkness, I had no idea what to think. Cooler air wafted toward us from the opening, and her calloused white hand motioned us to follow her. Maybe she was taking us to be eliminated. Maybe we’d been left behind because we had no value. Maybe we were going back to prison, like the Crazy House.
There was no way I’d be the fraidy-cat and make Tim go first, so I stepped boldly into the darkness, praying that nothing would spring out at me. I was glad when I felt Tim’s warmth close to my back.
She pushed the fake wall closed and we were in darkness. Absolute, utter, creepy, no doubt spider-filled darkness.
17
AUTOMATICALLY I BLINKED AND OPENED my eyes wide but couldn’t see a damn thing, not even my hand two inches from my face. I heard a click and one dim, bare bulb cast a completely inadequate fuzzy corona of light that illuminated precisely nothing. But my eyes adjusted rapidly, and I could make out… a worn rope ladder hanging against a dank brick wall. It led up maybe ten feet, maybe a hundred. No way to tell.
Ms. Strepp took hold of one side of the rope ladder, jerked her head at me, and said, “Up!”
Yes, climb up to hell, Cassie, I thought, but made my face blank, refusing to show fear. Grabbing hold of the dirty ladder, I cautiously put one foot on the bottom rung, testing to see if it would hold my weight. It did.
Rung by rung, I climbed up into nothingness. Once I glanced down and saw Tim holding the other side of the rope ladder, looking up at me. Though he wasn’t Nate, he was a friend, and I was glad we were together. The air grew warmer the higher I climbed and then suddenly as I pulled myself up another rung my head banged hard on a ceiling.
My breath hissed in as I swallowed a cry of pain. What had been the point of this? My anger rekindled and I glared down the ladder, knowing they couldn’t see me.
“Are you okay?” Tim asked, having obviously heard the dull thunk of my skull.
“Yes,” I said, tight-lipped.
“Push upward,” Ms. Strepp ordered.
I lifted one hand and pushed. Nothing happened. Gritting my teeth, I lowered my head and pressed against the ceiling with my back. Something moved a bit, so I gathered my strength and pushed again. It was a trapdoor leading into… yes, that would be more utter darkness. A musty smell floated down and surrounded me like smoky gray fingers. I climbed to the next rung and gave a big shove, and the trapdoor rose and flopped over with a loud bang! Instantly, fine dust roiled out of the opening, making me gag. I closed my mouth and held my nose shut.
I didn’t have to be told: I climbed up the last few rungs and pulled myself through the trapdoor, which was about three feet square. I uncoiled myself slowly, not knowing if I would hit my head again, but finally I was standing upright. Tim’s head and broad shoulders were barely visible, coming through the trapdoor. Ms. Strepp followed him and once she was up I heard another click and a single lightbulb hanging down on its cord cast a circle of light around us.
Blasé resentment faded as I stared around, stunned. One by one, more bare lightbulbs flickered on. Click, click, click.
“Jeez,” Tim said. “What the hell is this stuff?”
“Where are we?” I blurted at almost the same time.
“In a place no one in the world knows about except me, and now you two,” Ms. Strepp said, barely above a whisper.
18
BECCA
THE SUN ROSE AS WE, Squad Six, reached the top of the hill east of the camp. We made our way through the trees, avoiding stepping on branches, not touching anything, trying to leave as few marks in the snow as possible.
We were an hour in and I’d already learned some important things. Like, when you’re the advance scout, no one has gone before you to tell you about the dangers. You find out by surprise! Word to the wise: Always look up, because mountain lions apparently like to lurk in trees.
Another thing I’d learned was that kids could be trained to be tough, fearless, grade-A soldiers and still manage to be a bunch of little shits.
By mid-morning I was convinced that Strepp had given me the Squad Least Likely to Survive. This was probably yet another of her incessant tests—testing my leadership skills. Leadership is basically being able to convince people to do what you want. I’d been great at that since I was a little kid. But these guys were, so far, resistant to my charm.
