“That never made sense to me,” Chloe said, remembering how bewildered she’d been at the time. “I loved working with kids. They don’t treat you like a freak if you happen to be smart.”

  “That’s what drew you to children?” Zack asked, looking at her with interest.

  “Maybe, I’m not sure. I like to believe it was the Lord’s leading.”

  “And it could have been.” Carmen nodded. “But Mom and Dad took it personally when they realized your IQ wasn’t going to be an asset to them. If you’d used your genius in the medical world, Dad could have gloated endlessly about where you got your DNA.”

  Chloe wondered why she’d never thought of that. But if that explained why she wasn’t close with her parents, how could she bridge the gap?

  Zack hadn’t wanted to leave Chloe, but his mom had the big trip back home tomorrow. Back at his condo, Mom had gone to her room. He’d changed into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, then stretched out on his leather couch to watch the news and try to settle his mind.

  There was a drive-by shooting somewhere and some senator was in trouble for something. Zack heard the words, but they didn’t get through to him. He couldn’t stop thinking about Chloe, and he couldn’t wait to see her again.

  She had to work in the morning, and he had to take Mom to the airport. But later, he wanted to take Chloe to a place where they could talk and be totally alone. The ocean would be good. There were miles of beaches and little coves.

  He turned the TV off. Too much had happened tonight for him to care about the weather forecast or sports. One thing for sure, he would never feel the same about Sterling and Ava, and that was too bad. They’d been good to him, but if they weren’t very good to Chloe, he wouldn’t be getting together with them.

  He knew what he felt for Chloe now. He loved her. He waited to feel like a fool, but he didn’t. He just wanted to say it out loud, again and again, and he would…when Mom wasn’t in the next room.

  It wasn’t rational, this feeling he had for Chloe. His approach to life was thoughtful and scientific. He’d never trusted an instinct this strong with so little to back it up. Decisions about personal matters weren’t made in a hurry. People didn’t fall in love so quickly.

  Yet here he was, wishing Chloe were beside him.

  Mom came out of the spare bedroom. She’d changed into her pajamas and taken off her makeup. She did look older without it, but she was still the prettiest mom a guy ever had.

  “Zack, I have something I need to talk to you about. I’d planned to tell you earlier this week, but I couldn’t, and now, here it is, my last night here….” Her voice trailed off.

  “It’s okay, Mom,” he said automatically, but this couldn’t be good.

  “I hate to give you more to think about.” She sank down on the couch beside him and reached for his hand.

  He could do better than that. He put his arm around her and tucked her close. Her body seemed to shake. Was she about to tell him that she was ill, despite her denials? “What’s going on, Mom?”

  “I’ve been dreading this moment from the day you were born. No, even before you were born.”

  “It’s okay, Mom,” he said again, wanting to ease her distress.

  “Oh, Zack, it’s really not okay. I’m afraid you’ll hate me.”

  “I could never hate you!” How could she think that?

  “I pray that you don’t. Darling, I’ve loved you since the day I knew you were going to be mine. You needed me to make good decisions, but I was going through the most confusing, deeply unhappy time of my life. I’d loved your father with all of my heart, and I’d believed him when he said we would be married. When I told him we were going to have you, he said you couldn’t be his! I’d never been with another man! He said we were through, and he meant it. From that day on he wouldn’t see me or take my calls. It was just you and me.”

  Emotions welled up inside Zack, one tumbling over another—rage that Mom had experienced such betrayal…contempt for the man who had done that to her…and a horrible sense of relief. Roland Hemingway couldn’t have been his father.

  “Your birth father came from a wealthy, influential family, but I couldn’t risk losing you by turning to them. So I prayed and went home to my parents. My mother cried with me when I told her about you. We went to a very strict church. We both knew that my father would say I couldn’t stay. I would be a bad example for our young people.”

  “And putting you out on the street came from what part of the Bible?” Zack couldn’t help the anger in his voice.

  “Roland’s parents were members of the same church. When he heard I was pregnant, he said he’d always loved me, and he would marry me. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t in love with him or that his parents turned their back on him, too. We moved to the Midwest and never saw them again.”

  He nodded as if he understood, but he didn’t. Was there anything or anyone a person could completely count on?

  “The only thing Roland asked of me was that my baby would be raised as his. That was little enough to give him when he was giving me so much.”

  So, that was why Mom had been so tolerant of Dad’s moods. It had been his hold over her.

  “When you were little, Roland loved you as if you were his.”

  And that was Zack’s memory.

  “But when you became older and wanted no part of his world, he took it hard. Do you remember how much he loved fixing cars? Every time he went to the store, he would bring you back a little car. He would have played with you, but you would set the new car on your windowsill with the others and go back to taking care of some bird or squirrel in your hospital. Roland would look at you and say, ‘He’s not mine, Bonnie. He’ll never be mine.’”

  Zack could see how that would hurt, but did it justify the man’s anger? Zack had never known when his dad’s temper would explode and he would smash the little cars with his foot.

  “When you showed such passion to become a doctor, Roland became more and more angry. You not only looked like your birth father, you had his interests.” She took a worn picture from her purse. “Zack, this is your birth father. You know him well.”

  Without looking at the picture, he would guess it was Albert Brennan. The man had been like a father to him, but it was impossible to imagine Albert getting a young woman pregnant and abandoning her.

  “Recognize him, Zack?”

  It looked like Collin. It looked like himself.

  Zack wanted to throw up.

  Chapter Fourteen

  His birth father was Charlie Brennan?

  The man was a good urologist, but Zack hadn’t liked him before, and he sure didn’t now. How many other half brothers and sisters did he have out there? Hot anger had him off the sofa and pacing the floor. He clenched and unclenched his hands, wanting to settle the score for what Charlie had done to Mom.

  “I’m sorry, Zack,” his mom said tearfully.

  For once in his life, he didn’t automatically reassure her. It wasn’t her fault, but he hated this!

  “I’m sorry I was naive about Charlie,” she said. “I’m sorry I couldn’t find a way to stop Roland’s meanness, and, most of all, I’m sorry for not telling you before now. I wanted to, and I asked Roland to release me from my promise many times, but he would always say no. I think keeping the truth from you was his revenge for a life that didn’t turn out as he’d hoped.”

  Would it have mattered if Zack had known who his birth father was? It might have. For sure, he would have steered clear of the Brennans, and he might have felt less like a loser if he’d known where his dad’s hatred came from.

  His dad. How sad that Roland had wanted to be a good dad, but he’d been beaten by Charlie’s undeniable DNA. Zack really did feel like throwing up. He didn’t want to be either man’s son.

  “Zack, do you hate me?” Tears flowed down her cheeks.

  He’d been so caught up in his reaction that he wasn’t thinking how awful this must be for her. “No, Mom, I could never hate you. Don’t even think such a thing.” He pulled her from the sofa to hold her.

  She clutched his shoulders as if she feared losing him.

  It would never happen. “Mom, I’m just processing what you had to go through to give me a home. You’re my mom, and I love you.”

  She cried, and he had to blink back tears. Both of them had carried a lot of pain for a long time.

  When the first wave of emotion ebbed and Mom had pulled it together, Zack asked, “Mom, who else knows this?”

  “I’m not sure. Remember what Albert said at the hospital? That when he met you, he thought you were the spitting image of a relative of his? I knew he was talking about Charlie.”

  “He must have been,” Zack said, wiped out that he hadn’t caught the hint from Albert. If Albert knew, who else did?

  Fresh tears welled in Mom’s eyes. “When you were invited to join Brennan Medical Clinic at such a young age, I knew this had to be Charlie’s family, but I didn’t know if they’d told you the truth, or if you’d put it together.”

  “Obviously I hadn’t. I thought I was so good at my work that they invited me there. I’ll be rethinking all that. Mom, was my connection with the Brennans why you and Dad never visited me?”

  “Yes.” Her sigh was huge. “I’d made that promise to your dad. To keep it, I had to bury my head in the sand and deny what was right so many times.”

  “This week must have been so hard on you.” He thought of the times her face had gone ashen and how she’d tried to avoid the Brennans.

  Anger flared in her eyes. “The worst moment was seeing Charlie’s picture on the Brennan Medical Clinic wall and thinking how he’d denied you. You’re his son, Zack, not an honorary Brennan through the kindness of Albert and his wife.”

  “Albert…he’s my uncle,” Zack said as if he’d just wakened from a dream. He’d been so caught up in the unfairness of events and all his mother had suffered that he hadn’t thought of the big picture. “And Collin’s my brother!” Beth, Ry and Trey Brennan were his cousins; their dad was his uncle and he had two aunts. He had a huge family.

  Or not.

  He could walk away from his Brennan connection. Did he really want to be part of a family that included Charlie Brennan? “Do all of the Brennans know that Charlie is my father?”

  “Not from what your grandfather told me yesterday afternoon.”

  His grandfather! The chief, the founder of Brennan Medical Clinic, was his grandfather! “Is that what he wanted to talk to you about?”

  She nodded, her eyes brightening. “He’s eager to talk to you and acknowledge your true relationship. He’s kept it a secret out of respect for me and Roland, but it’s time for that secret to come out. It’s time you took your rightful place as a Brennan. Nothing should hold you back.”

  Zack collapsed in a chair. So many things made sense now. There was that wild rumor that he was slated to become head of the clinic someday. It had seemed completely implausible to him. The Brennan grandchildren were the logical candidates for that responsibility, not him. But the chief had known he had another grandchild. Actually, now that Zack thought about it, he was the oldest of the bunch.

  “Zack, you have a lot to think about,” his mom said.

  Talk about an understatement!

  She kissed his forehead. “In the worst of times I’ve claimed the words of Ephesians 3:20. The Lord is able to do far more than we can imagine. Consider His purpose in your life, Zack, and let the Lord bless you.”

  With a gentle good-night kiss, she left the room.

  He was a mess. Could he settle down and focus on God’s Word? Right now, it didn’t seem like it. His life had been turned upside down, and the only thing he could think of was how much he wished Chloe were here to help him figure this out.

  Zack lay on the sofa and glanced at his watch again. He hadn’t gone to bed last night. Since dawn, he’d been waiting to call Chloe. He felt so angry, but he hoped she could find the positive side of this mess. If anyone could, it would be her.

  He hoped it was late enough to call. He dialed her phone.

  “Well, good morning,” she said in a sleepy voice.

  “Did I wake you?”

  “I should be up and getting ready for work.” He heard a soft yawn. “Excuse me, but I didn’t sleep well last night. I sort of prayed and dozed on and off all night.”

  His night had been like that, too, except his sequence had three parts—praying, dozing and thinking about being a Brennan.

  “What time does Bonnie’s flight leave?” Chloe asked.

  “A little before eleven. We’ll head to LAX and have breakfast before she boards.”

  “What are you going to do on the last day of your vacation?”

  Think about you. Think about me being a Brennan. Think about the two of us moving to the Midwest to get away from your parents and my new family. “We have a date when you get off work, right?

  “We do! A real unchaperoned date!”

  He could hear the joy in her voice, and it did make him feel better. “Are you one of those women who feels disrespected if the guy doesn’t have everything planned for the date, or are you okay with spontaneous decisions about what we do?”

  “You have to ask? My whole life is spontaneous. Cate would expect the guy to have everything planned. Carmen would probably prefer to plan the date herself.”

  She knew her sisters well.

  “But I go with the flow and live in the moment. I might be self-conscious if I were in jeans and you showed up in a suit, but give me five minutes to change, and I’m good to go. Whatever we do tonight, we’re going to have a good time.”

  That eliminated his plan to tell her about the Brennans. “Do you want to set the dress code for tonight?” he asked, almost sure of what she would say.

  “Casual is good. I’ll bring a sweater just in case we want to watch the sun set and the moon come up at the beach. I loved that night with your mom.”

  It was the night he’d known he’d have trouble holding on to his single life.

  They talked a little more, but she didn’t mention the trauma at her parents’ house and he didn’t mention Mom’s big news. She ended the call, saying how much she looked forward to their date. He said something equally generic, but he wished he’d had the guts to say what he really felt—that he didn’t know how he could wait until late afternoon to see her.

  How long would it be? He did the simple math. Nine hours. Some of his surgeries ran that long and the time flew.

  Mom was moving about in her room, and he should get ready. It would make her nervous if they didn’t get to the airport early. She would rather sit in the boarding area by herself than risk being late.

  He’d showered and was shaving, comparing his features to Charlie’s and Collin’s, when his cell phone rang. Out of habit he checked the caller ID before he answered. What he saw was better than sunshine. He could hardly flip the phone open fast enough.

  “Chloe!” It didn’t matter that he smeared shaving cream on the phone.

  “Zack, I feel pretty foolish calling you back—”

  Oh, no! Was she going to cancel?

  “It isn’t like me to do this, but I was just wondering—”

  He held his breath, waiting for the other shoe to fall.

  “Would you like to get together for lunch?”

  His emotions were so raw he felt the sting of tears behind his eyes.

  “Don’t feel like you have to,” she said. “I mean, we’re getting together tonight, but—”

  “Yes,” he said firmly, cutting her off. “I was wondering how I could wait until this evening to see you again.” There, he’d said it.

  He heard her take a quick breath. “I felt that way, too.”

  Chloe spent the morning reading and answering mail, but her mind was on the beautiful red roses on her desk—and the man who’d sent them. The card read, “Love, Zack.” That made her heart sing.

  Her life had become very complicated since she’d been home. On the plus side were her sisters and Zack. On the minus side were…her sisters and Zack.

  They’d supported her unconditionally and she appreciated them more than words could say, but it bothered her terribly that they’d placed themselves in Dad’s line of fire. Carmen had a valued relationship with Dad, and as chief of surgery, Dad could help or hinder Zack’s career. Was there a way she could make up for that or somehow distance herself from them so Dad’s wrath would be on her and not them?

  Distance could be good, especially from Zack. By nature she was impulsive and a risk taker, but she didn’t want to lose her heart to him without knowing for sure that he was the one God meant for her.

  Intuition said he might let her into his life, but she couldn’t see Zack parenting a brood of adopted children, nor could she see him sitting back and letting her do that alone.

  Maybe she wasn’t meant to have children at all. Maybe the Lord’s purpose for her life was to encourage thousands of others to step up and pay more attention to kids. Maybe she was to be the voice of all children instead of listening to little voices that she adored in her own home.

  Could Zack be The One? The question came back again and again. She cared about him so much.

  Lord, one more time I surrender my life. One more time I bring Zack to You, and I ask that You remove him from my life if he’s not The One. Take him from my life quickly, like tape ripped from skin, so the hurt will be less, and I’ll forget about the loss. Or…convince me that he’s mine to love…whatever happens.

  Zack played with her fingers as they waited for their lunch to be prepared. “I’m going to miss you.”

  “Are you going somewhere?” she asked, hoping her dismay didn’t show.

  He smiled briefly to acknowledge her comment, but his eyes didn’t make the effort. “I’m not going anywhere, but my vacation ends tonight. My routine begins with an early morning surgery and, if all goes well, I’ll make it home in time to go to bed and start it all over again the next day. I won’t have time for lunches like this.”

  He had no idea how resourceful she could be. If she was sure he wanted to be with her, they would find little moments to be together…or this might be God’s way of slowing things down between them. She thought she knew Zack pretty well, but she’d only known him while he was on vacation. It would be different when he was back in his regular routine.

 

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