Cinematic Destinies, page 16
“You did everything you could,” he assured her. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He pulled her close in a comforting embrace, rubbing her back.
For a moment, she leaned into it. Then she looked up into his eyes and said, “It was so awful. Kate was hysterical, begging us to save her baby. I’ll never forget the look on her face as all her dreams evaporated.” She paused. “This must have been my fault. If I had only caught it earlier, then . . .”
“No, Betty. Don’t do that to yourself. She had excellent care. You were on top of her pregnancy from day one. Sometimes these things just happen, and it isn’t anyone’s fault. There weren’t any warning signs.”
“Maybe I got too attached to her, liked her too much, lost my focus,” she said.
“That’s not true. Caring about your patients makes you a better doctor.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know anything,” she mumbled, visibly holding back tears.
“You’ve got to let it out. Feel this. It’s the only way through it,” he said, stroking her cheek. “Let it out.”
“I can’t,” she insisted, taking a deep breath. “I can’t allow myself to feel it.”
“Betty. You already do,” he whispered.
She pulled back. “I’ll be fine.” She walked over to her locker and took out her belongings, placing her street clothes, bag, and cell phone on the bench. “I’m just gonna go home and take a hot bath and try to forget today ever happened.”
Khalil walked over to her and gently said, “Look at me.” She turned to face him, and he wrapped his arms around her. “Please, you’ve got to let it out. It’s okay. It’s okay to feel.”
“I can’t,” she said, and shook her head as she began to tear up.
“Shhh, it’s okay,” he said, caressing her hair.
She burst into tears.
“That’s it,” he whispered. “Just feel it.”
Betty sobbed uncontrollably, crying and heaving against his chest as she tried to breathe. He held her as the tears continued to flow through a stream of howls that sounded like a wounded animal, her body violently shaking. After what felt like an eternity, she pulled back, grabbed the tissue box off the table, and wiped her face. “I’m sorry for crying on your shoulder.”
“Betty, I love you. God, I love you.”
“Damn it, Khalil, don’t you see?” she shrieked. “There are no fucking happy endings! Love hurts! It’s filled with pain! People have nothing to gain and everything to lose.”
“You don’t really believe that. Naturally, you’re upset. I’m here for you. Always. Lean on me and—”
“Please just go. I want to be alone.”
“But . . .”
She turned her back to him. “Go. Please.”
He sighed and said, “If you change your mind, let me know.” He left the room, closing the door behind him.
Betty collapsed onto a chair, her knees in her lap and her head in her hands. After a few minutes passed, she sniffled and looked up, trying to muster the strength to go home. She noticed a message light flashing on her cell phone and read Georgia’s text. She wiped her bloodshot eyes and opened the video, hitting play. “Oh my God,” she mumbled as her parents appeared on screen. There was something so profoundly innocent and beautiful about the way they looked at each other, as if their souls were connecting off in the shadows, when they thought no one was looking. She burst into tears again, unable to control the waterfall gushing from her eyes, and for the first time, not wanting to. She cried and cried. As she watched the images of her parents, a film reel played in her mind with images of Khalil—his pained expressions when he ate spicy food, his silly victory dance when he won a game of Scrabble, the intensity in his dark eyes when he studied, the sympathy on his face when he spoke with his patients, and his broad smile every time Betty walked into a room.
“It’s him. You’re so stupid. It’s always been him,” she muttered. Suddenly, she jumped up and raced to the door, but it flung open before she could reach for the handle, and Khalil stepped inside.
“I came back to make sure you were alright. It kills me to see you so torn up,” he said, looking at her wet, blotchy face. “Don’t be mad. I just want to know if you’re okay.”
“I love you,” she said through her tears. “I’m in love with you.”
His eyes went wide as a huge smiled danced across his face. He put his hand on her cheek, gently wiping away her tears.
“I don’t know if I’ll ever believe in happy endings, but I believe in happy beginnings,” Betty said. “Is that enough?”
“It’s everything,” Khalil whispered. He cupped her face in his hands and they kissed.
ALBERT DROPPED HIS KEY AND WAS PICKING it up when Ryan and his friends came barreling out of their apartment.
“Hey, Al,” Ryan said.
“Hey,” Albert replied softly, averting his gaze.
“We’re just heading out to play laser tag,” Ryan said.
“Oh. Well, have fun,” Albert replied with a lump in his throat.
“Listen, Al, you can come with us if you want.”
“Thanks, but I’m gonna stay in and try to do some work tonight.”
“Are you sure? You’re welcome to join us.”
“That’s okay.”
“Well, see ya,” Ryan said as he and his friends bounded down the hallway.
“Yeah, see ya,” Albert mumbled.
Albert shuffled into his apartment, grabbed a can of soda from the refrigerator, and cracked it open. Soda in hand, he plopped down at the table and turned on his laptop, intending to immerse himself in his work project. He noticed new emails in his inbox and decided to scroll through them, immediately opening the message from Georgia and clicking on the video attachment. Suddenly, his parents flooded the screen, young and in love. It was so overwhelmingly beautiful that he smiled brightly as he watched, the glow from the screen shining on his face. “I always thought it was brave that you proposed in front of the whole world,” he mumbled to the image of his father. “This is brave. Just letting yourself be so honest with someone.”
When the video ended, he took a slow, considered breath and bolted out of his apartment, racing down the stairs and down the sidewalk straight into the heart of Harvard Square. He saw Ryan outside the bustling Harvard train station, people all around. “Ryan!” he shouted.
Ryan stopped and turned.
Albert tried to catch his breath as he continued to race toward Ryan.
“Al, did you decide to come with us?” Ryan asked.
Albert looked all around at the swarms of people, and then he looked directly into Ryan’s eyes. “I came to do this,” he said, and he put his hand on Ryan’s cheek and kissed him passionately. Onlookers started cheering at the joyful scene, and a nearby street performer began playing a love song on his saxophone. Albert finally pulled back, and the onlookers went on about their business.
Ryan smiled. “I can’t believe you did that.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long. I wasn’t ready before, but I am now. Is it too late?”
“Kiss me again,” Ryan said.
Albert smiled and kissed him gently, but with no less passion.
“So, you’re coming with us?” Ryan said.
Albert nodded and took his hand, and together they headed into the train station.
THE CAR PULLED OVER AND GEORGIA paid the driver.
“Miss, it’s pissing down. Wait and I’ll come around with a brolly.”
“That’s okay,” Georgia said, quickly exiting. She threw her handbag over her head, raced up the stairs of the brownstone, and started searching for the right apartment buzzer, rain pounding down. She frantically pressed the button, holding it down over and over again, until she was buzzed inside. She flew up the stairs, leaving a water trail behind her. When she arrived on the third-floor landing, Roo was standing at the door wearing his terry cloth bathrobe.
“Georgia, what on earth?” he asked, wide-eyed. “Uh, come in,” he said, reaching out his hand. She followed him inside. Completely dumbstruck, he stared at her and eventually stuttered, “Uh, you’re sopping wet. Shall I get you a towel?”
She shook her head. “I don’t care about that. I flew from LA because I had to see you. I didn’t even have the patience to wait for the driver to open an umbrella.”
The corners of Roo’s mouth turned upward, and his cheeks became rosy. “Why did you have to see me?”
“Because I’m in love with you, positively, hopelessly, madly in love with you. I still want to make life a grand adventure, but not without you. Oh, Roo, I know I hurt you and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. If you do, I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
“The rest of your life?” he muttered.
“If you’ll have me.”
“Wait. This isn’t right.”
Georgia’s face fell. “Oh, I’m sorry. I hoped—”
“No, you misunderstand, my darling,” Roo said with a soft smile. “Don’t move an inch.” He walked over to a nearby credenza, opened the top drawer, and returned holding a small black velvet box. “I just meant that I imagined how this would go. Shortly after I got back from the shoot, I stopped by my mother’s flat and asked her for my grandmother’s engagement ring. I knew you’d show up at my door or I’d show up at yours.”
“You did?” she asked, tears in her eyes.
He nodded and caressed her cheek. “And I knew when the moment presented itself, I’d want to do this,” he said, getting down on bended knee. He opened the jewelry box to reveal an oval-shaped ruby surrounded by diamonds. “Georgia Sinclair Forrester, you are the love of my life. Do me the honor of becoming my wife, and together we shall soar. Will you marry me?”
“Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you,” she said, salt water streaming down her face.
He slipped the ring on her finger and said, “The stone looks like fire, just like that burning spirit in you I so love.” He rose, wove his hands into her curls, and they kissed. “Now come on, love. Let’s get you out of these wet clothes.”
CHAPTER 18
The day before the children were due to arrive home, Albert called Ella.
“Well, hello, my sweet boy.”
“Hi, Mom.”
“This is a nice surprise. My phone has been ringing all morning. Your sisters both called to say they’re each bringing a friend for the weekend.”
“Actually, that’s why I’m calling. Can my friend Ryan fly back to California with me? He has relatives in LA.”
“Of course, sweetheart. You’ll have the jet to yourselves. The others are flying commercial because of scheduling issues. They won’t be here until later in the day.”
Albert was silent for a moment and then said, “He’s my boyfriend, Mom.”
Ella smiled. “That’s wonderful. I didn’t know you were seeing someone. Is it new?”
“Not exactly, it’s just that Dad doesn’t know. I . . . I’m planning to tell him tomorrow. Depending how it goes, I thought maybe I could invite Ryan to the celebration the following day.”
“I would love that. Sweetheart, there’s nothing to be anxious about with your father. There never has been. He loves you more than anything.”
“I just . . .”
“What has you so worried?”
“I just don’t want him to be disappointed.”
“In you?” Ella said. “Not possible. He’ll be glad you confided in him. I’m sure he’ll also be thrilled to hear there’s someone you care about. There’s nothing to fear. Not a thing. I promise you.”
Albert inhaled. “Thanks, Mom. I better go. I need to pack.”
“See you tomorrow. I love you.”
“I love you.”
THE NEXT AFTERNOON, ELLA WAS STANDING at the kitchen sink drying dishes. Finn came into the room, slipped his hands around her waist, and whispered, “Hi, sweetheart,” before kissing her cheek.
She took a slow breath and turned to face him. She leaned her forehead against his for a long intimate moment and then pulled back and stared intensely into his eyes.
“What is it, love?” he asked, stroking her cheek.
“Albert needs to speak with you. He’s in his room.”
Finn looked at her quizzically.
“When you’re done, ask him to come down to set the outdoor dining table and you can help me with the grill.”
“Okay, love,” he said, walking off.
FINN LIGHTLY KNOCKED ON Albert’s door.
“Come in.”
Albert was lying in bed, but he sat up straight as a board when his father walked in.
“Mom said you wanted to see me.”
“Yeah,” Albert said softly, his shoulders clenched and unable to make eye contact.
Finn sat down on the edge of the bed. Albert inhaled deeply and then looked directly into his eyes. With a slight tremble in his voice, he said, “There’s something I need to tell you.”
Sensing his son’s trepidation, Finn replied, “Whatever it is, you can tell me. I promise it will be okay.”
Albert took another deep breath and said, “I’m gay.”
A huge grin spread across Finn’s face.
Dumbfounded, Albert asked, “You heard me, right?”
“Yes,” Finn replied. “I’m just so relieved. With the buildup I thought it was something bad.” Suddenly, Albert felt as if a spring had been released, and his shoulders relaxed, the tension leaving his body. Finn took his hand. “Thank you for telling me. You know this doesn’t change anything. I love you exactly as you are. I always have and I always will.”
Albert’s eyes flooded.
“Oh, come here,” Finn said, embracing him in a comforting hug. He whispered, “I love you, son.”
Albert sniffled and softly said, “I love you too.” He pulled back and wiped his face. “It really doesn’t make a difference to you?”
“Only that I want to know who you are. It makes a difference that you told me. But it doesn’t make a difference in any other way. Why would it?”
“I don’t know. I . . .” Albert muttered.
Finn smiled. “Your mother and I have always only wanted you to be yourself. We have a simple hope for you and your sisters. To find something and someone to love.”
Albert wiped his eyes again.
“So, is there someone special?” Finn asked.
“Yeah.”
“Well, tell me about him.”
“His name is Ryan. He’s the reason I finally told you. We had some problems because I hadn’t been open. That wasn’t cool with him, and he didn’t want to see me anymore. Not like that.”
“I can understand that. When you care about someone, you want to be free to shout it from the rooftops if you feel compelled to.”
“Yeah.”
“How’d you two meet? What’s he like?” Finn asked.
Albert smiled bashfully and said, “We met at school. He was a graphic design major, and we took a class together last semester senior year. He’s so cool, really nice and smart. Because of him, there are all these fun things I do now and amazing people I’ve met. He’s bolder than me, which I think is a good thing. When we’re together, I have more fun than I ever do without him. We connect and feel close in a way I’ve never had with someone before.”
“Do you love him?”
“It’s been hard to find out until now. I like him. I like him a lot.”
Finn smiled. “Then lean into it. There’s nothing better than finding that person who makes your heart take flight. When you’re ready, your mother and I would like to meet him.”
“Actually, he’s in LA. He flew down with me, and he’s staying at his aunt and uncle’s place in Los Feliz. I thought maybe I would invite him to come tomorrow . . .”—he ran his hand through his hair before continuing—“as my date. But tomorrow is about you and Mom so if that’s not okay, it’s totally—”
“We would love to meet him. He’s more than welcome. Please invite him.”
Albert smiled. “Thank you. For everything.”
Finn patted his arm and said, “Your mother wanted help setting the outdoor table. Shall we?”
Albert nodded and they stood up. Finn put his arm around him and kissed the side of his head. He then playfully tousled his hair, and they headed downstairs.
Ella was placing a stack of dishes on the counter when they bounded into the room. She smiled brightly at the sight of their joyful faces. “There are my guys.”
Finn walked over and kissed her cheek, and they stole a loving glance.
“Can you please bring that out and turn the grill on?” she asked, gesturing at the platter of meat and skewered vegetables.
“Sure,” Finn replied, picking up the tray and heading outside.
Once he was gone, Ella turned to her son. “Well?”
He sprinted to her side and enveloped her in his arms. “Dad was totally fine with it. He said it doesn’t change anything, and I could tell he meant it.”
“I told you, my sweet boy,” she said, rubbing his back. “He loves you more than he could ever say. Just like I do.”
“He even said I can ask Ryan to come tomorrow. If it’s okay with you.”
“Of course it is,” she replied, giving him a big squeeze before letting go. She looked at his smiling face and saw a lightness in his blue eyes she had never seen before. Her own eyes became misty, and she sniffled.
“Are you okay, Mom?”
“I’m perfect,” she replied, wiping her eyes. “Now do me a favor and set the outdoor table. Betty texted and she and Khalil should be here soon.”
“Sure thing,” he said, grabbing the stack of plates and silverware and heading outside with a newfound bounce in his step.
Ella meandered outside and over to Finn, who was standing by the grill. She took him in her arms, held him close, and whispered, “Thank you for being you. I love you.”
“I love you too,” he said, pulling back and gazing into her eyes. “You had to know it wouldn’t make a difference to me. Please tell me you knew that.”
“Of course I did. It was Albert who was anxious. I told him there was no need, that it wouldn’t matter.”
Finn looked down and said, “I feel terrible. I must have done something wrong for him to be so worried about telling me. For him to think it could change things in the slightest. I guess I screwed up.”
