Snowbound with Her Mountain Cowboy, page 20
“You’re enough for me,” he whispered.
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “Because you’re more than this...” She put her hand in the center of his chest. “You’re a King. You’ve got responsibilities, expectations, people who are depending on you. You aren’t just the man with the heart. You’re the man with the inheritance. And that changes everything.”
“I can’t help it,” he said. “Do you want me to give it up?”
“You can’t give up something you were born to,” she said. “Even if you gave up the money, you would still be a King. You have a family, and while I’ll never be enough for them, they are everything to you. I know that. You are who you are. And I’m not enough to make up for your entire family and the businesses you run. I’m one person, Ben.”
“So there’s no solution for us,” he said. “Love each other as we do, there’s no way for it to work.”
Angelina’s heart clenched, and she wished she could say that it would, that they’d make it work, that they’d wrestle the world into the shape that they needed it to be...but the world wasn’t quite that pliable. And hearts could only take so much.
Angelina took a handful of his shirt and tugged Ben down toward her. His lips met hers with such longing and sadness that it nearly broke her. She loved him...oh, how she loved him, but that wasn’t enough when tangling with a family like the Kings.
Eleanor had learned that generations ago. Hilaria was learning that even now. And Angelina had already learned the lesson, but apparently needed to refresh it one more time. These King men might be easy to love, but they were hard to stay married to. Money might be a tool, a blessing for some, and even an advantage, but it was a solid wall between a woman and the heart she longed to hold.
Ben pulled back, and he looked down into her eyes sadly. “Are you going to give us a chance?”
She shook her head. “I already did, Ben. It didn’t work.”
“Does that mean you’re leaving?” he asked, his voice wooden.
Would she stand in another room with King lawyers? Would she take a big, fat check and walk away to make things easier for them?
“No.” She swallowed. “I’m not. I built this place, and it won’t be the same starting over somewhere else. I’ve created something out of heartbreak, and that combination is both painful and deeply beautiful. I’m not giving it up. I paid too dearly for it.”
“Money isn’t everything,” he whispered.
“It never was,” she said.
Ben wiped his eyes and if he stayed just a moment longer, she would have gone right back into his arms. But he swallowed hard and moved toward the door. This was it—this was the final goodbye they’d both needed and had both been too afraid to ask for. And it hurt just as much as she’d feared it would.
“Ben?” Angelina said.
Ben turned, his eyes filled with misery.
“The next time you decide to marry someone,” she said, her voice catching. “Don’t ask me for my blessing, okay?”
“You wouldn’t give it?”
“My heart can’t take it.” A hot tear leaked down her cheek, and for a moment it looked like Ben would come back and pull her back into his arms.
But he didn’t. He let himself out of the office and closed the door gently behind him.
It was then that Angelina sank into a chair and the tears began to flow. She covered her face with her hands and her shoulders shook with the force of them. This wasn’t supposed to happen—she wasn’t supposed to fall in love with Ben all over again, and it wasn’t supposed to hurt just as much as it had the first time.
* * *
A TOW TRUCK pulled into the freshly plowed parking lot, Ben’s truck hooked up behind. A couple of resort employees were digging snow out from around the vehicles in Employee Parking. Late-morning sunlight sparkled on the stretch of new-fallen snow.
His memory was back now, or most of it from what he could tell. He woke up with a multitude of memories in his head—pulling a red wagon down a sidewalk as a little boy, waiting for the chauffeur to pick him up from middle school, the smell of orange peels and pencil shavings from his second-grade classroom... It had all come back in a jumbled mess, but when he reached out and grabbed a memory, it fell into place with the others, and connected to more details. It was all making sense now. No more holes or gaps.
He remembered his mother, his nannies and that one groundskeeper who used to show him how to properly plant the spring flowers. He remembered high school dances, college parties, girls he’d dated, friends who had slipped away as their lives went in different directions. He remembered Hilaria and how hopeful his family was that she’d “stick.”
But more than any other woman who had touched his heart, Ben remembered falling in love with Angelina. He remembered the wedding, and his obstinate belief that their future would be bright and would prove to his snobbish family just how wrong they were about women who didn’t come from money. He remembered the frustration he felt as his marriage crumbled, the terrible advice he’d received from friends and family alike, and the ultimate heart-shattering moment when he signed those divorce papers.
Remembering how he’d scratched his signature at the bottom of those papers, the grief welled up inside of him all over again, as if the divorce were happening again. But this time, he was sitting on the edge of his unmade bed in the upstairs suite of Mountain Springs Resort. He’d finally let it all out—the grief of what he’d lost yet again. Why couldn’t he make things work with this woman? Because it wasn’t an option to stop loving her. He might have fooled himself before in that respect, but he was wiser now. Angelina wasn’t going to stop being a bone-deep part of him.
Maybe he had more in common with Granddad than he thought—the kind of regrets that were hard to put to rest, no matter how much time slipped by.
Warren had insisted upon taking another look at him before he left, and he’d seemed pleased with how Ben had recovered. So that was that—he was better. Except he almost wished that he weren’t, that he could forget some of the pain he’d rediscovered. It might be easier to deal with one heartbreak over Angelina instead of a span of years where he’d ached continually.
The tow truck driver pulled up next to Ben and undid the passenger-side window. He leaned over and raised his voice to be heard.
“I can give you a lift back to town, if you want,” the driver called.
Ben shook off his wandering thoughts. He had a life to get back to, and accepting the ride would be quicker than waiting for a cab. Ben looked over his shoulder toward the lodge, but he couldn’t make out anyone in the windows. Was Angelina there? Did she even realize he was leaving?
He’d use the excuse of thanking her to call her later. Hearing her voice again was a small bittersweet pleasure to look forward to. But they’d said all they could for now, and he needed to get his emotions back under control, because his throat felt thick, and he just needed to get away from this resort, away from the reminders of everything he’d lost.
“Thanks,” Ben said. “I appreciate it.”
He got up into the passenger side of the truck, and the driver pulled forward.
“I’m Corey,” the driver said.
“Ben King.” Ben gave him a nod.
“My wife and I have a weekend booked at the resort next month,” Corey said. “We’ve heard good things, but we’ve never seen the rooms there. What’s it like?”
“Really nice,” Ben said. “Angie—the owner has done a great job with it.”
“Yeah, we heard that,” Corey replied. “I tried booking a room as a surprise for my wife last Valentine’s Day, and I couldn’t get one. The best I could do was bring her for dinner. She was so disappointed. I ended up getting her jewelry instead.”
“Hmm. Sounds nice.” Ben looked out the window as the man chatted on.
“Anyway, this year, I’m getting the room for us for her birthday weekend. The whole weekend! Am I ever glad the snowstorm didn’t wait. I’ve got the whole package—in-room massages, room service meals, and if the snow sticks, we might be able to do this private sleigh ride...but I think that starts in December. So I might be out of luck...”
A husband making plans for his wife. It was sweet, really, and what Ben wouldn’t give right now to be able to do the same thing. Just not for any woman—there was only one in his heart, and he’d messed that up years ago.
“How long have you been married?” Ben asked.
“Three years,” Corey replied. “So we’re still newlyweds.”
Newlyweds... Ben had been married and divorced in one year, and this man had managed to outlast him. But then, so many couples did. Ben had gone over the marriage in his head countless times, and sometimes he thought he hadn’t explained things well enough to Angelina, and other times he wondered if he’d been the idiot who hadn’t told his father to back off for the sake of his own marriage. Over the years, the family would have adjusted...
But still, when he lay in bed at night, he remembered the way her golden hair used to shine on the pillow next to him, how her perfume used to linger on the silky skin of her neck. There was no getting her out of his system—not completely. A very powerful part of him wanted to head straight back to that lodge and pull Angelina back into his arms. They belonged together—Ben belonged with her.
But some mistakes couldn’t be fixed.
“So, three years in,” Ben said. “What’s your advice to couples on staying happily married?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Corey said. “The first year or so was pretty hard. I still thought I could hang out with the guys after work, and...yeah, that’s not a good plan with a wife at home. But I guess it comes down to relying on each other. I mean, we don’t have much, but Shelley’s fantastic with money, like, you give her a hundred bucks and a well-stocked kitchen, and she’ll give you Christmas, you know? She was the one who encouraged me to buy my own tow truck. We’re paying it off slowly, but I can work my own hours now, and pick up extra work. But she’s the one who gave me the idea.”
“What does Shelley do?” Ben asked.
“She’s working at a daycare, which is actually perfect, because she’s pregnant, and when the baby comes, the daycare place will let her bring the baby to work with her after her maternity leave. And they won’t charge her for it, either. It’s a really great setup. She applied to work there because she’s got a friend who told her about their policy.”
Just two regular people who loved each other working things out with the tiniest fraction of the financial comfort that Ben enjoyed. And somehow, these people were happier.
“But you asked my advice to other couples, right?” Corey said. “I think my advice would be, work really hard and make sure you book ahead if you want a room at the Mountain Springs Resort.” Corey chuckled to himself. “She’s going to love it...she really will.”
Ben’s phone pinged and he looked down to see a text from Angelina.
Did you leave?
His heart skipped a beat. He hated texting—he had no idea what she was thinking. Was she glad to have him gone, or disappointed? There was no way to tell. Did she miss him? He texted back.
Yeah, I thought I’d head out. I’m sorry.
He was sorry for everything—for letting her down in their marriage, for not being enough now. He was sorry for holding her back, for offering to buy the place she poured her blood and sweat into. He was sorry for the pressure his family put onto both of them, and for not having been strong enough to tell them to give him space when it mattered.
Angelina didn’t reply, so Ben added, I wanted to thank you for taking care of me. You didn’t have to do all that.
Yes, I did, she texted back.
I’m still grateful, he replied.
It’s okay.
And I miss you, he typed, but then he backspaced and deleted that.
“Lots of cars and trucks hit the ditch in this storm,” Corey was saying. “Lucky you ended up in front of the resort. Your truck looks pretty banged up.”
“It flipped,” Ben said.
“Yeah, I was going to say—it looks like it’ll take a fair amount of work. You want to go to the dealership, right?”
“That’s right.”
“I’ve got a buddy who works there—he’s the head mechanic...” Corey talked on about his connections at the dealership, and Ben looked out the window, his phone still in his hand.
It was all said, right? They hadn’t worked in the past, and nothing had substantively changed between them to make it work now. His family was a unique burden. They were intense, overinvolved in his life, and demanding of his time and his priorities.
Was this the life he wanted to live? Did he want to make the family business his top priority for the rest of his days? Was he supposed to find a woman who knew how to live with the burdens he was used to, and just make the best of it? Plenty of women would be glad to take it on, except for the one who filled his heart.
Ben looked down at his phone again, and he started typing.
I miss you. That’s not going to stop.
It was honest. He pressed Send. Whatever—he wasn’t going to try to save face with her. He was going to err on the side of honesty. He should have told her how he still felt a long time ago. What was he afraid of—that she’d laugh at him? She loved him, too.
“Corey, let me ask you something,” Ben said.
“Sure.”
“What makes your wife know that she can trust you?” Ben asked. Because maybe this workingman had a secret that Ben could learn from.
“I can’t afford a divorce!” Corey said, belting out a laugh. “Or a mistress for that matter. She cleaned me out with the engagement ring and the wedding! She’s it. She knows that. It’s ride or die.”
Ben chuckled. There was a certain freedom to having less—he could see that. People depended on each other more when they didn’t have quite so many options to fall back on. Maybe they appreciated each other more, too.
Ben knew what he’d lost with that divorce—absolutely everything that mattered.
They rode in comfortable silence for the last twenty minutes, and when they got into town, Ben felt like Mountain Springs Resort was still tugging him back. It was that same feeling he’d had stumbling toward the lodge through the gusting wind and falling snow... He belonged there. He could feel it deep inside, and it had nothing to do with his family’s desires for the property. This was about Angelina, and only Angelina.
Except it wouldn’t be so simple to convince her to take a risk on him again. He couldn’t change who he was, could he? He was a King, and even if he gave up the money, he couldn’t give up his family. As he felt so obliged to explain, he wasn’t heartless. He loved them.
His phone pinged just as Corey pulled up in front of the dealership.
“Thanks for the ride,” Ben said, pulling out his wallet to pay. “And here’s a tip for being so prompt. I appreciate it.”
He’d included a generous tip. Regular guys had regular bills to pay, and this man had a wife to impress for her birthday. Maybe he could make that a little bit easier.
“No problem. Thanks a lot.” Corey accepted the cash with a smile. “Here’s my card. If you ever need a tow, I’m the one to call.”
“You bet.” Ben gave him a nod, and they both got out so that Corey could unhook the truck.
Ben looked down at his phone, then. It was a text from Angelina.
I miss you, too.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ANGELINA’S GENERAL MANAGER, Noah, was back, as were the rest of the staff and guests. The lodge was bustling, and Angelina stood by the fireside room doorway, her arms crossed. Mountain Springs Resort had become the spot for people to celebrate their happy times together, and it normally felt good to see all this humanity and happiness in one place. Except she still felt wrung out from the goodbye she’d said yesterday, and she wasn’t sure how to even process it. She missed Ben so much. It was like all that time of healing had slipped out from under her and she was right back to the place of sadness that she’d been in right after her divorce.
Except it was different this time. She was no longer the naive young ex-wife. She was now a woman with life experience, and some wisdom, and she’d still gone and fallen back in love with Ben. It was like loving him was inevitable—she couldn’t avoid it, even when she knew better.
Angelina had reserved a table by the window—the Second Chance Dinner Club was meeting up. Angelina wanted to see her friends and get some moral support, but she wasn’t feeling social now. This was going to hurt for a long time, and even the dinner club wasn’t going to change that.
The college students were checking out, and Angelina watched as the young men carried their bags outside. Brad was paying at the front desk. Elizabeth came down the stairs, her bag in one hand, and when she spotted Angelina, she came in her direction.
“I released the rabbit this morning,” Elizabeth said with a smile. “She’s healed up.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” Angelina replied. “I checked on her last night, and she’d eaten the carrot and cabbage.”
“She was eating and pooping—signs of a healthy rabbit,” Elizabeth replied with a smile. “I texted my sister and asked her advice. I sent her a video of the rabbit, and she agreed that she seemed healed up nicely, so we’ve got an official opinion there, too.”
“You come well connected,” Angelina said with a smile. “I hope you enjoyed your stay.”
“Not as much as I was hoping, but that wasn’t about the resort,” Elizabeth said, and her chin quivered.
Angelina felt a surge of sympathy for the young woman. She’d been longing for something wonderful, and that seemed truly far away right now.
