Trusting His Instincts, page 9
He crushes his lips to mine, and my brain short circuits as he proves his fingers aren’t the only part of his body capable of bringing me to the very edge of the abyss. When he finally pulls away, I’m panting—and ready for more.
“These have to go,” he says, tugging at my black silk panties. He sucks his fingers into his mouth—the same fingers that were just inside me—and light dances in his eyes. “We’re just getting started.”
Nash
Raelynn cries out, her back arching as I find her g-spot. She tastes like a rainy day, and her body comes alive with each flick of my tongue. My dick, trapped under me, aches in time with my heartbeat.
“Goddamn, Nash.” Trembling fingers card through my hair, and I finish lapping at her essence and lift my head. “Are you goin’ for a merit badge or somethin’?”
“Maybe.” I get to my knees and wrap slick fingers around my length. Even the light touch is almost too much. I’ll be lucky to hold out for a minute once I’m inside her. “How am I doing?”
“You passed. With flyin’ colors.” She tries to push up onto an elbow, but she’s still shaking and collapses back against her pillow. “Shit.”
“Easy, there.” Gathering her in my arms, I try to maneuver her under the blankets, but she stops me with a hand to my chest.
“We’re not done.” Her deep, sultry tone dials my need up to a thousand. “Drawer.”
I yank on the handle and find a box of condoms. Still sealed. “Fuuuuck.” I shred the cardboard. Raelynn plucks one of the foil packets from my hand as I sit back on my heels.
“Easy now, darlin’. I’ve got you.” She tears the wrapper with her teeth, and I’m so far gone, I can only watch as she strokes her hand over my shaft. Until her thumb traces a circle around my crown and my vision goes white. “Nash? Look at me.”
I blink hard. Her entire body is flushed. Cheeks bright pink, rosy nipples begging to be pinched, her sex glistening from her release. “You’re so damn beautiful,” I whisper as I take the condom and roll it over my length. “Keep your eyes on me.”
She sucks in a breath but doesn’t look away. Not even when I slide halfway home and find her so tight, I’m afraid I’m going to break her.
“Tell me to stop,” I manage, though I don’t know what the hell I’ll do if she does. Jerk off in her bathroom? Limp home with my balls so blue, they might as well be purple?
“I ain’t fragile, Nash.” She digs her short nails into my ass and pulls me closer. Deeper. She feels like heaven. Her heat brands me, and I’m not sure I’ll ever be the same again. “Fuck me.”
I don’t know how long I’ll last, but I can’t refuse her anything. Not when she’s staring up at me like I’m the only person in the whole damn world. “Hold on, sweetness. And remember…”
“Eyes on you.”
After a single thrust, my lids flutter, and a whimper escapes Raelynn’s lips. She’s still holding on, and the pinpricks of pain so close to my crack are like lightning shooting straight to my dick.
It takes me more than a single breath to get myself under control, but I grit my teeth and will myself to fight my desperate need to come. “Want to make this last,” I grit out.
“We have all night, darlin’.” Raelynn wriggles her hips—as much as she can with me balls deep inside of her—and winks at me. “Show me what you can do.”
As if I could resist a challenge like that.
Bracing my hands on either side of her head, I start to move slowly, hoping to draw this out as long as I can. But after only a few seconds, I know there’s no fucking way I’m going to be able to hold back.
Despite my order—to keep her eyes on me—I wish I could look away. The connection between us scares me. This isn’t just sex. I don’t care that we barely know one another. This…is something more. Something my life has been missing for a very long time.
Raelynn hooks one leg around my thigh. The shift in angle lets me go deeper, and my God. She’s perfect. Wild and assertive and—for this one, brief moment—mine.
The pressure builds. Her slick heat, the way she whimpers with each thrust, and her unwavering gaze are so fucking hot, I can’t hold on.
“Raelynn…” I manage.
She slides a hand between us, her palm skimming over her stomach and down…lower.
The quiet, keening cries turn to moans as she starts to play with herself. “God. I’m close, Nash…”
Thank fuck. It takes everything in me not to give in right now. My balls draw up tight, and my dick swells until her inner walls threaten to strangle me.
“Come for me, sweetness.” I swivel my hips once, and the motion is enough to send her flying. Her entire body bucks against the mattress. The sight of her lost to her own pleasure is intoxicating.
With a shout, I give in, thrusting until I have nothing left, and all I can do is collapse onto my side, taking her with me.
Chapter Eleven
Raelynn
Nash slides from the bed. Relief washes over me, making my skin tingle. He’ll leave now. I’ll call him a Lyft. Hell, I’ll drive him back home if he wants. Even if my muscles do feel like overcooked spaghetti.
The floorboards creak. Is he leaving without saying a word? I don’t know why the thought makes my heart ache. Pillow talk is for people in a relationship. Not whatever we are.
Friends with benefits? Barely.
Strangers with chemistry? Closer.
Something in between?
I can hear him moving around downstairs. I should care what he’s doing. But instead, I let my eyelids drift closed and pull the blankets up to cover my chest. It’s been so long since anyone touched me. I didn’t realize how much I missed it.
I’m almost sad this has to be a one-time deal.
Heavy footsteps on the stairs startle me awake, and I sit up. Nash ambles back into the room, still completely naked, carrying a glass of water and one of my washcloths. He sinks down onto the bed with a sheepish smile, then pulls back the blankets.
“What the hell are you doin’?” I ask as he swipes the warm cloth over my inner thighs.
He freezes. “Taking care of you?”
“Why?” I snatch the cloth from his hand, suddenly feeling terribly exposed, despite how many times he made me come tonight. “I can take care of myself, Nash.”
“Did I say you couldn’t?” With a sigh, he scoots back, then grabs his briefs off the floor. Disappointment weighs me down when he pulls them on. He’ll leave now, and that’s for the best. At least that’s what I tell myself.
But after a beat, he skirts the bed and slides under the covers next to me. “Everyone needs to be taken care of sometimes, Raelynn. It doesn’t make you weak. Just…human.”
Conflict churns in his eyes, like he’s the one who needs tending, and I brush my fingers over the thick scar at his temple. “What happened here?”
Nash shies away from my touch, his gaze pinned to a spot on the wall behind me. “Car accident when I was a kid.”
Liar.
“When?” I ask. He wants to tell me. Hell, I think he needs to tell me. But if I press him too hard, he’ll shut down.
He runs his fingers through his hair, tugging the sandy locks down to cover the old wound. “You know when.”
Shit.
“Fourteen. When your sister died.” I squeeze my eyes shut, desperate for something to talk about that won’t trigger his grief—or mine—until he settles closer to me and links our fingers over his heart.
“We were all together. I don’t remember what happened. Just Mom screaming. Dad…” He swallows hard and looks away. “I should have died too.”
The raw edge to his voice is the God’s honest truth, so why did I think he was lying before?
Pushing the thought aside, I cup his cheek, lean in, and brush my lips to his. “I spent a long damn time wishin’ I’d been the one…in that godawful storm.”
“Tell me about him,” Nash says. “Brooks. What was he like?”
“I…can’t. Not when I’m naked in bed with…you.” Tears prick at my eyes. Thinking about the man I loved for half my life when I’m starting to fall for someone else ain’t right.
Shoving my emotions down so deep they can’t hurt me is getting harder every day.
Nash gathers me in his arms. I could get used to his warmth. To his scent. To the way he holds me. “Raelynn, when was the last time you let anyone see you? The real you.”
I can’t give him an answer. Not one I’m proud of, anyway.
“I’ve been alone most of my life,” he says quietly. With my head tucked under his chin, I can’t see the anguish on his face, but it bleeds through his tone. “I haven’t been with anyone in…five years? Maybe six.” He tightens his hold, and I don’t protest the closeness. “I know what it’s like to pretend you don’t need anyone.”
“We could stop.”
Fuck. Why did I say that?
He sucks in a sharp breath. “I…can’t.”
Shifting so I can meet his gaze, I find panic. Fear. Pain. Everything I’m feeling, but so much more.
“If I can try…so can you. Stop runnin’. Put down roots here. We could…see where this goes.”
“You don’t know how much I want that,” he whispers. “But it’s not possible.”
“You’re a grown-ass man, Nash. Pretty sure you’re capable of decidin’ where you hang your hat and for how long.”
He looks like a lost puppy. All sad eyes and sorrow. He can’t even meet my gaze when he stands and starts hunting for the rest of his clothes. “I…uh…don’t have a smart phone. Can you call me a taxi? Or a Lyft? I have cash. I can pay you back.”
“No. Get back in bed.” Turning away, I shut off the light and lie down. The lump in my throat warns me I’m about to break. I tried to let him in—I would have told him anything he wanted to know—and he won’t do the same for me. “I’m tired, Nash. I’ll drive you home in the mornin’.”
He doesn’t move. In the darkness, I can barely make out his profile. But his shoulders slump and I think I hear his jeans hit the floor. A few seconds later, the mattress dips.
I should keep my distance. But his heavy sigh does me in. Rolling over, I drape my arm around his waist and rest my head on his shoulder. “What are you runnin’ from, Nash?”
His entire body stiffens for a single breath before he gets himself under control. “Nothing.”
I could call him on the lie. I should call him on it. But he feels so good next to me, I can’t. Not tonight. Maybe not ever. If this is all I can have of him, I’ll take it. Until I wake up one day, and he’s gone.
Nash
Dawn’s gray light illuminates the room when I open my eyes. Raelynn’s tangled locks tickle my chin. She’s tucked against my chest, wrapped tightly in my arms.
I woke up once in the middle of the night to find myself curled around her lithe, warm body, and despite knowing I should leave, I couldn’t force myself to let her go. Even with her words playing on a loop in my head.
“What are you running from, Nash?”
Everything. My past. My future. A real connection with this woman who’s everything that’s been missing from my life for more than twenty years.
This was a mistake. One hot, mind-blowing, perfect mistake. And I want it to happen again and again and again.
Harsh beeping makes us both jerk, and Raelynn groans. Swiping her phone from the nightstand, she taps the screen and blinks up at me, her lids heavy from sleep. “Sorry…”
Fuck. Her voice is a thousand times sexier first thing in the morning. “How long do we have?”
With a chuckle, she slides her hand over the bulge in my briefs. Her fingers are soft, warm, and gentle. So unlike mine. “Just long enough.”
She straddles me, the sheets rustling around us. “You got anythin’ against mornin’ breath?”
Cupping the back of her neck, I pull her down so I can taste her lips.
“That answer your question?” I ask when I finally let her come up for air. Before she can reply, I roll one of her nipples between my thumb and forefinger. Her eyelids flutter. Her hips grind against me, and fuck. This is going to be better than last night. “On your back, sweetness.”
She stretches out next to me. I can’t get enough of her scent. Or the way her body responds to my touch. Trailing my lips from her collarbone to her mound, I ignore the ache in my dick.
Her heels dig into the mattress when I position myself between her legs and part her slick folds. She’s already glistening for me. “So sweet,” I say against her clit. “Never going to get enough of you…”
Raelynn sucks in a breath. Shit. Too much. Too soon. I start tracing patterns over the tight little bundle of nerves, desperate to distract her from a promise I’ll never be able to keep.
By the time she’s panting, I’m barely holding on. “Inside me,” she rasps. “Now.”
I almost fall off the bed trying to shed my briefs. Rolling the condom over my length takes all my control. With a grin, Raelynn pushes me onto my back. “My turn to ride you.”
Holy hell, I didn’t think I could want her more than I did last night, but when she pins my wrists to the mattress, I realize how wrong I was.
She rolls her hips in such a way, I grit my teeth so I don’t shoot my load in under a minute. Our gazes lock, and time stands still.
Until she releases my right hand. “Touch me, Nash. Make me come with you.”
I find her clit as she squeezes her inner walls around me. My balls tighten, white hot pleasure consumes me, and when she cries out, I let myself fall along with her.
After a shower—where we barely managed to avoid major injury with round three—I watch her pull on a pair of black leggings, a bright red sports bra, and a gray sweatshirt. “I’ve got somewhere to be in an hour. But I’ll drop you at home first.”
“When should I come back to work on your heater? Tomorrow? Tuesday?”
She tosses a glance over her shoulder. “I’m at the dojo from noon to six tomorrow. But if you get here by ten, I’ll leave you a key to lock up when you leave.”
I gape at her. “You’d trust me with a key…?”
“Some reason I shouldn’t?” Raelynn finishes braiding her long, blond locks and turns to me, brows raised.
“Uh…no…” I take a step back under the power of her stare. “But you’ve only known me for a week.”
She gives me the side eye, her hands on her hips. “I’m a good judge of character. And after yesterday,” her voice softens, a hint of longing creeping into the tone, “trustin’ you? It ain’t a choice. I just…do.”
Chapter Twelve
Nash
“Can I buy you a coffee before you go…wherever…?”
The ride from Raelynn’s house was almost completely silent. Her confession seemed to confuse her, and she’s been uneasy since we left.
Her gaze pings from the car’s clock to me. “If I’m late, West will kick my ass.”
I offer her a hopeful smile. “Looks pretty empty in there right now. And Teresa’s working. She’ll have you on your way in less than five minutes. Park around the back. There’s always a space.”
I can’t read her. This morning, she was all sex and sass. Now, she wears her uncertainty like a second skin.
In the alley, I wrap my hand around hers, then lead her through the back door into the shop. A couple shares a scone at a corner table, and a woman with a laptop stares off into space by the windows, but it’s otherwise quiet. Sundays usually are.
“Morning, Nash!” Teresa says with a wide smile. “What’ll it be today?”
“I’ll take a double espresso. Raelynn?” I squeeze her fingers, hoping the promise of caffeine will ease the discomfort between us.
“Quad shot Americano.” Glancing around, she pulls her hand from mine when the bell over the front door jingles.
I gape at her. “And I thought I was addicted.”
We both laugh, and suddenly, it’s like the awkward drive never existed.
“If I show up to work one wheel down with the axel draggin’ I’ll never hear the end of it. I’m already on thin ice with West for—get down!” Raelynn shouts, shoving me, hard.
Teresa screams. Something grazes my cheek, stinging just below my right eye. I stumble, slamming my knee into the counter, and hit the ground.
By the time I look up, she’s halfway across the shop, racing straight for a man in a black suit. He ducks around one of the tables, picks up a chair, and throws it at her.
Her slide is worthy of Major League baseball. The chair sails over her head and hits another table. With a whimper, Teresa scrambles into the stock room. Someone else—the woman with the laptop?—screams. I think the couple escapes out the front door. Raelynn tackles the guy and grabs his arm.
Something in his hand hits the floor. She lunges, but he punches her in the stomach, then shoves her onto her back. Wrapping his fingers around her neck, he growls, “Fucking bitch.” But she escapes with one of West’s signature Krav Maga moves—slamming her hands against his wrists while her knee crushes his nuts.
The guy falls over with a high-pitched yelp. “Ain’t too bright, are you, asshole?” She flips him onto his back, but before she can pin one of his arms, he jerks the other up and catches her in the shoulder.
She goes down, and fear tightens a noose around my heart. “Raelynn!”
“Stay the fuck back!” In the second it takes her to glance over at me, the guy scrambles to his feet, grabs for something I can’t see, and sprints for the front door. “Don’t follow me!” she orders and takes off after him.
Like hell I’ll stay here. I think…in his hand…he had a gun. But as soon as I hit the sidewalk, Raelynn jogs back around the corner.
“I told you to stay inside.” She takes my arm and steers me back into the coffee shop. It’s empty. “Sugar? You still there?” she calls. “Teresa?”
