Rogue Defender (Gone Rogue), page 15
Domina
Voices from the next room wake me. Austin and Trevor. They don’t sound angry or upset, thank God. I’m not sure if I should be happy they let us rest or relieved.
Leo sleeps soundly at my back, an arm curled around my waist, and his soft breaths tickling my cheek.
Outside his bedroom window, the day gives way to night. I stare down at his hand splayed over my hip. A bright red welt mars his wrist, and I skim my finger above the swelling. Suddenly, all I can see is him, handcuffed to that small table, his face twisted in pain.
I start to shake. If we had been an hour later, if Austin had not been able to sway President Garcia…
“Domina?” Leo’s deep voice rumbles in my ear. “Breathe, baby. Everything’s okay.”
If only a few deep breaths would fix all our problems. I do try, but the panic chaining my heart only intensifies. “Rafael fired me, Leo. Cortez won’t take my calls. I cannot even talk to Larissa. The police…they put me in handcuffs outside the stadium and the entire country thinks I had something to do with the assassination attempt. Nothing is okay.”
He pushes up on an elbow with a groan. “That pissant fired you?”
Rolling over, I stare up at him. His color is better, but his face is a mess of bruises and cuts. His lids are puffy, and his right eye only opens halfway. “It isn’t important.”
“The hell it’s not. You were attacked. Probably by the same people who tried to kill Cortez. You did nothing wrong. But they punished you because you were with me.” He skims a knuckle along my jaw. It’s rough, which makes the contact even more intense and arousing, despite how scared I am. “When I see that asshole, I’m going to punch him into next week. The election be damned.”
I take his hand, brushing a kiss to his knuckles. “You should not be punching anyone. Not until you heal. I will find another job. Somewhere.”
His low growl makes me feel protected. Cared for. Cherished. All the things I never knew I wanted or needed. Gently, I kiss him, careful of his split lip.
“I want you, baby,” he says, and we’re both breathless when I pull away. “But…” He darts a quick glance at the wall separating us from the main room.
“You are in no condition for…sex.” My cheeks catch fire—along with my core—but Leo has to be in terrible pain.
“Domina, I spent almost twenty-four hours thinking I was never going to see you again. Or touch you. Or kiss you.” He cups the back of my head, his fingers carding through my thick curls. “This is my second chance, and I’m not going to waste a minute of it.”
Crushing me against him, his lips graze mine. Only the gentlest caress at first. Testing. Teasing. His tongue tangles with mine, and he plunders my mouth in ways I never knew I wanted. I’m his, completely, and all he’s doing is kissing me.
My nipples tighten, hard and aching. We fell into bed completely naked after our shower, and the rasp of his chest hair against my breasts fans the flames inside me.
With his free hand, Leo grabs my ass, his fingers digging into the soft globes to pull me closer. He’s hard for me, the firm length of him pressing to my mound.
For a brief moment, we come up for air. “Are you sure?” I ask him. “We have…”
…the rest of our lives…
I cannot say those words to him. Not yet. But I know now. I knew when I saw him locked to that table, bloodied and tortured and desperate. I am falling in love with him, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I am not scared of needing someone. Of wanting someone.
“We have what?” Leo skims his teeth along the shell of my ear. Goosebumps race along my arms. Slowly, he kisses a path down the curve of my neck, all the way to my shoulder. “Domina?”
“We have each other.” Cupping his jaw, I urge him to meet my gaze. “We were supposed to be pretending.”
“We were.” He takes one of my nipples between his thumb and forefinger, rolling it until I writhe against the pillows. “It was always real for me.”
My eyes start to burn, tears threatening, until he sucks the other tight bud into his mouth. Then there’s nothing but need. For him to fill the emptiness inside me, for release, but also for the truth. All of it.
“It…Leo, stop.”
He lifts his head, worry in his gaze. “What’s wrong?”
“I wasn’t looking for anything…real. I thought I was happy alone. And then you came leaping onto my balcony. That should have been the end of it.” Taking his hands, I hold on tight. “I thought…in a few days, we will go back to being neighbors. Nothing more. But you kept showing up. Helping me. Even when I treated you badly, you were there.”
I lean closer, touching my lips to his for a brief moment. The connection gives me the strength to go on. “I cannot tell you it was always real for me. I didn’t know what real was. But it’s real now. It has been real since you came to my office after the break-in. Since you first kissed me. I thought I lost you, and now that we’re together again…”
Leo wraps his arms around me, easing me down so we’re on our sides, face to face. “Domina, I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. I broke my promise at the rally. I was supposed to protect you. To keep you safe. I don’t know why you’d trust me again, but—”
“I do. Completely.” Fusing our lips together, I claim him, giving him everything I am so he knows without a doubt, I’m his and he’s mine.
No more words pass between us as Leo takes control. He kisses each of my palms, then brings my arms over my head so I can curl my fingers around the edge of the mattress. Parting my thighs, he slides between them. He devours me, long strokes of his tongue against my clit, two fingers pumping in and out of my channel, finding my g-spot and bringing me right to the edge a dozen times, but never letting me fly.
I grab his pillow and press it to my face to muffle my helpless whimpers and desperate cries. I need to come, but I think he needs this—to bring me pleasure—even more.
“I want…to be inside you,” he says between nips to my thigh. “Will you…?”
Pushing the pillow aside, I meet his gaze. “Yes. Please, Leo. I need you.”
He gives my clit one last, hard stroke of his tongue. I almost fly off the bed from the sudden, intense tightness in my core. On his knees, his cock hard and glistening, he yanks open the nightstand drawer.
“No.” I grab his arm, digging my fingers into the corded muscle until he looks at me. “You are the only man I have been with in five years. And I’m on birth control.”
A low growl rumbles in his chest. “I’m clean.”
“I want all of you.”
It’s more than that. I want Leo to be the only one who has ever been inside me like this. Nothing between us. Completely for each other.
He braces himself on one elbow, using his other hand to guide his cock to my entrance.
I feel…everything. The thickness of his crown. His solid, pulsing length. How he hardens even more when his balls brush against my ass.
“Hold on to me, baby. I can’t be gentle. Not today.” The rough edge to his voice turns me on even more. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I angle my hips.
How can it feel like he’s splitting me in two and completing me all at the same time? I dig my heels into his ass, needing to take him deeper.
He starts with one hard thrust. I cry out, but he swallows the sound by ravaging my mouth. I never knew I could feel so much and still survive. Unless this is heaven.
We battle for control of the kiss, back and forth with each thrust of his hips. I’m so close, so ready to surrender to the storm of sensations building inside me.
Sweat slicks our bodies. Leo moves faster, thrusts harder, until he tears his lips away. “Mine.”
The single word is rough, gritty, and utterly possessive. It frees me, and I shatter. Wave after wave of pleasure washes over me. I’m drowning in them, and if I never come up for air again, I don’t care.
Tears swim in my eyes. HIs face shimmers over me, and when he surrenders to the vortex swirling around us, I know nothing will ever be the same again.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Leo
For almost an hour, I’ve been able to pretend my life isn’t a clusterfuck of epic proportions. Domina is everything I’m not. Brilliant, poised, and beautiful…a good person. Now that we’ve danced too close to forever, I have to tell her everything. What happened to me in Venezuela and what I did after.
I can’t do this naked. Even if she doesn’t care about my scars, I need armor. Because when she finds out, I’m afraid it’ll be the end of us.
“We should get dressed,” I say, planting a soft kiss to her forehead. “No telling when Trev and Austin are going to come barging in here with an update.”
“Mmm-hmm.” Her eyes are still closed, and fuck. I don’t want this to end. Our legs tangle under the sheet, and she strokes a hand absently up and down my side. When I’m with her, everything is better.
Even the bruises and cuts from the assholes who interrogated me for eighteen hours don’t bother me with her in my arms.
But we’re running out of time. Sooner or later, they’ll expect us to join them, and I’ll lose my nerve.
She doesn’t have to know. You could take this to your grave.
My inner voice is dead set against what I’m about to do. It’s probably right. But she deserves to know before things get any more serious.
I ease her from my arms and get to my feet. Every step brings more pain—evidence that I’m about to do something colossally stupid—and I limp over to the dresser.
It’s almost 7:00 p.m., and my stomach rumbles. I should have eaten something before we showered, but I was so damn tired.
By the time I pull on a pair of khakis, Domina’s dressed in a pair of black yoga pants that leave nothing to the imagination, a black tank, and a lacy, scoop-neck sweater in a pale cream that makes her look like an angel.
“Wow.” I sink down next to her on the bed and tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. After this, I might never touch her again, so I lean close enough our lips meet.
Kissing her chases all my demons away. I can almost believe I’m a good man. Except for all the horrors I can never forget. They brand me. Spy. Victim. Killer.
“What we just did…” I shake my head, unsure how the hell to even begin. “I want a life with you, Domina. For however long you’ll have me.”
She sucks in a breath, and I hold up my hand.
“I don’t expect you to tell me you feel the same. I know this is fast, and I won’t rush you. If all you want is what we have right now, I’ll give it to you. If you decide you want more someday, say the word and it’s yours. But I can’t ask you for any of it without telling you what happened to me in Venezuela.”
“Why not?” She turns slightly so we’re almost facing and takes my hands. “I know you were tortured, Leo. I can see what they did to you. If you need to tell me every detail, I will listen. But do not do it because you think it will change how I feel about you. It won’t.”
God, I wish that were true. But as caring and accepting as she’s been since the day we met, some things are unforgivable. And unforgettable.
“It might.”
In the living room, Austin laughs at something. Pulling my hands from hers, I wipe them on my thighs. “Whatever happens, Austin and Trevor will stay with you until we know any threat has been neutralized. You won’t be unprotected. Ever. If you ask me to leave, I will, but you’ll stay here with them.”
“You are scaring me, Leo.” The tremble in her voice destroys me, and I push to my feet. I need distance. Something more than just a few inches between us.
Leaning against the wall by the window, I shove my hands into my pockets and take a deep breath. “I was stationed in Venezuela for twelve years. The CIA was after this terrorist group—the Loma Collectivo. They ran drugs, guns, women…anything profitable. Anyone who got in their way disappeared. Sometimes a few body parts would be found a few weeks later, but that was rare—only when they needed to make some sort of statement.”
Domina wraps her arms around her knees, watching me. I could stop. Tell her I was wrong. That she doesn’t need to know any of this.
Too bad my brain won’t listen.
“Being a CIA officer isn’t like what you see in the movies. It’s not all chasing bad guys and running covert sting operations. There’s a lot less running, fighting, and shooting than most people expect. We listen. Observe. Analyze patterns.” I angle a glance through a part in the curtains, checking out the street below. Light traffic. A couple of pedestrians. Nothing suspicious.
“No one ever knew the assholes running the Loma Collectivo, but we had dossiers on a few dozen of the lower-level guys. They were spread out all over Caracas, Barquisimeto, Valencia, and Maracay. The first week of April, we intercepted a call between two of their grunts. A member of the Venezuelan government was causing trouble, and they were planning on putting an end to him. My SSO sent Trevor and Gil—he was Austin’s adopted brother—down to Venezuela so the three of us could stop the attack.”
“Wait,” Domina says. “I thought Dani was Austin’s sister? And she’s with Trevor.”
I nod. “Gil was Dani’s brother. Different fathers, same mother.” Even saying his name brings back too many memories. I wish I could pace without pain. Or even open the damn window. I need to move. To feel fresh air on my cheeks. Anything to keep me in the here and now.
“Was.” Sadness laces her tone. I’m not surprised. She doesn’t know what Gil did. Yet.
“The op was a success. We killed two members of the Loma Collectivo, kept the Deputy Finance Minister safe, and Gil and Trevor went back to the U.S. We’d been careful. No one from the Loma Collectivo had any idea who we were or how we got our intel. My SSO and I agreed I should stay at my post. I had all the contacts, knew the language…hell, I was at the top of my game.”
I’m parched and grab the half-full glass of water off the nightstand. My hand shakes as I set it back down again, empty.
“Two days later, I went to a bar. No current mission, so I figured I could tie one on without any consequences beyond a hangover.” I can’t look at Domina now. Not and admit what happened next. “I don’t know how they got to me. Whether they spiked my drink or shot me up with something…I was at least three drinks in. But I woke up bound to a chair in a room not much bigger than this one.”
“Leo…” It’s concern in her voice now. Concern I don’t deserve.
Shaking my head, I turn to the window. The drapes may be closed, but I can still see a sliver of the street. “I’d never seen the guys who worked me over. They weren’t from Caracas. Made a special trip. Just for me. Six of them.”
Their voices haunt me—along with my own screams.
“You will pay for what you have done, cabrón. But not until we break you.”
The punch takes me by surprise. I can’t see shit with a bright light pointed right at my head, and I’m groggy as fuck. Blood fills my mouth, and I spit it onto the floor.
“Break me?” I laugh. “You don’t know who you’re dealing with.”
“Leo Francis Basher. CIA Senior Field Officer stationed in Caracas for the past three years. We know everything about you.”
“They took turns. Two or three at a time.” I let the curtain fall closed and turn back to Domina. Pinning my gaze to the corner of the bed, to her slim, bare feet, I list off my injuries. “Broken arm. Four cracked ribs. Metal pipe to my cheek—that’s what caused the facial paralysis—crushed fingers and toes…”
Rubbing the back of my neck, I force another breath. “They cut out my eye, broke most of the bones in my knee and ankle, had lots of fun with a car battery… There’s more, but…” I shrug. “The only time I wasn’t in constant agony was when I passed out. They wouldn’t let me sleep. Loud music, bright lights, stress positions. Every enhanced interrogation technique they could think of. After eight days, I knew I was dying. Still hadn’t talked, and they were about to take my other eye.”
“Do it,” Asshole #2 says. “And after he can no longer see, take his dick too.”
“Even without…my dick…I’ll still be…twice the man you are,” I manage. My right leg is completely numb, but the left is on fire. Blood drips onto the floor from both wrists. Asshole #1 swapped out the thin ropes for razor wire hours ago. I can’t hold my head up, so Asshole #2 grabs my hair.
A quiet pop, and blood paints my face. Another one, and the switchblade clatters to the floor, followed by two bodies.
I find the strength to look around me. I’m alone. The other four left hours ago, saying they’d be back tonight.
“Redemption,” a man whispers.
The lump in my throat makes it hard to speak, but I manage a single word. “Deliverance.”
“Trevor had to carry me out of there. He came alone, against orders, because after eight days, everyone else at the agency believed I was dead.”
“Dios mio. What about the other four men?” Domina asks. Twice now, she’s made a move to get up, but I’ve stopped her. What I’ve told her so far? That was the easy part. What comes next? She’ll never look at me the same way again.
“I didn’t know their names—or anything about them. They disappeared. Fled back to whatever rathole they’d climbed out of. For almost nine years, they were in the wind.”
“Were?”
My entire body runs cold, and I brace my hand against the dresser. “When we got Trevor out of La Crypta last year, we also rescued a member of the resistance. Dani’s birth father. He and his brother had been fighting against the Loma Collectivo for more than twenty years. A few weeks after Trev and Dani went back to the states, I got an email. Four names. Four photos.”
“The men who hurt you.” She’ll put it together now. All of it. Even if I don’t say another word. But it doesn’t mean a damn thing unless I confess my crimes. Out loud.
“It took me less than seventy-two hours to find them. Another two weeks to learn their habits. And less than a day to kill them.”
