I Know Where You Live, page 6
‘Isn’t it amazing?’ said Seth, pointing up to the towers. The sky was darkening and the mediaeval walls looked gilded in the floodlights. ‘I’d never get tired of that view. Ever.’
‘Me neither,’ said Penny, tucking herself under her husband’s shoulder. He hugged her to him, spilling a little wine.
‘Hey, watch it, buddy,’ she scolded. ‘It’s a long walk for a refill!’
‘I wondered why your glass was so full. You developing a little problem?’ He tickled her. ‘Something you wanna talk about?’
Guarding her wine, she squirmed out of his arms and sat down. ‘As if.’
‘I guess Curtis did us both a favour, putting us off too much alcohol.’
‘That’s funny. I was just thinking about him –’ she tapped the side of her head ‘– before I switched channels.’
Seth never asked why she would be thinking of her ex. They didn’t avoid the subject of Curtis, or anything else from the past that haunted her, but they didn’t often revisit those times. They tried to keep their focus firmly on the future, just like they’d been advised.
‘Are you happy here, Seth?’
Seth turned away from the view and looked at her. ‘What makes you ask?’
‘Well, it’s just that I am, but I know you were never a hundred per cent convinced this was a great idea.’
‘Hey, what can I say? I was wrong.’
‘Really?’
He came and sat beside her, moving the little wrought-iron chair, whether to be closer to her or to maximise his view of the castle, she wasn’t sure.
‘What’s not to like?’ he said. ‘The view, the house, the wine.’
‘That’s not what I mean.’
‘I know what you mean, Pen. And I’m glad you’re happy.’
He leaned in close and kissed her, very gently. She loved the way Seth would kiss her for no other reason than he wanted to. The only time Curtis had kissed her was if his mind was on sex. There was no such thing as an affectionate, no strings kiss or a friendly reassuring hug. Every physical contact had an ulterior motive and a predictable outcome. When she’d been pregnant, he’d never laid a finger on her, although she had craved the reassurance of a loving touch. The pregnancy had cost her all contact with her parents, for God’s sake, and yet he kept his distance from her when she needed him most. And then she’d lost the baby, too.
Why so much thinking about Curtis tonight? Damn him. She made herself concentrate on Seth’s kind face; the failing light made it hard to see his eyes, but she knew how blue they were, and how guileless. She touched his cheek. His skin was soft and clean, his beard a soft rasp against her palm. Everything about this man was gentle and easy to love.
‘I am happy, and I can’t quite work out why. The house just seems to have opened its arms to us, somehow. I feel safe here. Does that sound crazy?’
Seth shook his head and his fair hair flopped into his eyes. He swept it back and put his hand on her shoulder. She considered telling him about the guy who’d been watching her.
‘And running into Sophie like that,’ said Seth. ‘As if it was meant to happen.’
The moment had passed. And she didn’t want to spoil the mood. ‘She’s so good with the kids.’
Seth nodded. ‘Yeah, she’s terrific. Angel idolises her.’
‘Doesn’t she? Have you noticed how she’s taken to sticking the word “like” into every sentence?’
‘I had noticed. She probably thinks it makes her sound, like, cool.’
‘It makes her sound, like, precocious. I’m going to have a word with them both about it.’
‘Still, credit where it’s due. Sophie’s taught her an incredible amount of French in a short time.’
‘Have you forgiven me for taking her on without asking you first?’
‘Yeah, if it gives you time to write, and helps with the language, that’s great.’
‘I was kind of wondering, if it all works out with Sophie, I mean, I was thinking I might, well, maybe, stay the night in Toulouse some time?’
‘You mean it? You ready to leave the kids?’
Penny thought what it would be like to spend a night away from her children. Scary, no doubt about it. But the thought of a night on their own, in a hotel room, was exciting. No interruptions for ‘bad dream’ or ‘can’t sleep’.
‘I think so. Almost. They’d be fine with Sophie, don’t you think?’
‘Of course they’ll be fine.’
‘Seth, by fine, I mean safe.’
‘Why wouldn’t they be safe, Penny?’
‘You know.’
He hugged her. ‘I know, but we asked all those questions before we applied for the transfer to France, didn’t we?’
She nodded. ‘I guess.’
‘Pen, it’s been ten years. Let it go. We’re different people now. Try to stop looking back.’
Penny debated with herself again whether she should tell him how scared she still felt at times.
‘Remember what we say? Mind in the present …’
‘Eyes on the future,’ she added, completing their mantra. They had asked all the questions. WITSEC had told them that they couldn’t be guaranteed safety if they left the United States, but that, after ten years in the program, witnesses could travel abroad if they wished.
Seth said, ‘Remember how many good folks have been kept safe by the Witness Security Program?’
‘Thousands.’
‘Yeah, over eighteen thousand.’ Seth paused as if to let the number sink in. ‘And not a single participant following the program’s guidelines has ever been harmed.’
‘There’s always a first time.’
‘Oh, come on, Penny. We’ve been over this. What’s with the negative thinking? You’ve just told me how happy you are here.’ He tapped the side of her head, just above her temple. ‘What’s going on inside that head of yours?’
‘Well, we broke the rules, didn’t we? Going back to New York City when we weren’t supposed to?’
‘For one night. Less than twenty-four hours.’
‘Yeah, I know, but maybe we should have stayed away.’
Seth shook his head. ‘You were the one who was adamant we should go. You said you’d get closure if you could see your old name on the 9/11 Memorial.’
She’d ruined the lovely mood of the evening with her stupid neuroses. Why couldn’t she just keep her mouth shut? Seth deserved better than this.
Downstairs the front door opened and closed. ‘Hi, anyone home?’
‘There you go, Pen.’ Seth tapped his watch. ‘She said she’d be back before nine and it’s three minutes to. I think you should come to Toulouse one night. We couldn’t leave the kids in a safer pair of hands.’
15
Sophie could hardly believe her good luck. The Gates family had welcomed her so warmly she almost felt as if she’d known them for ages. Days passed and all five of them fell into a routine. Seth went early to work, often before the kids woke. She and Penny had a coffee then got the children up and dressed. After breakfast, Sophie walked Angeline to school. Sometimes she took Ethan in his stroller and sometimes he stayed with his mom. After lunch, Ethan had a nap and when he woke, Sophie took him out until it was time to fetch Angel.
Twice she and Ethan had met up with Miss L in the afternoon.
The first time had been by the river. Ethan loved the ducks and would sit entranced while Sophie threw stale bread. The bolder ducks would come out of the water and waddle right up to them. When Miss L had arrived, Ethan was giggling with delight.
For a long moment she just stared at the child, her eyes filling with tears. ‘He’s so darling,’ she whispered to Sophie. ‘Such a beautiful child.’
‘I can’t believe you’ve never met,’ said Sophie.
Miss L shook her head sadly. ‘Nor can I. Better late than never. Should I speak to him, do you think?’
‘Of course. The whole idea is for you to get to know each other, isn’t it?’
Miss L had nodded, her face serious. ‘I’m not quite sure what to say to a two-year-old, to be quite honest.’
‘Why don’t you just smile and say hello? We’ll take it from there.’
‘Em, hello, Ethan,’ said Miss L, as if she were speaking to royalty.
‘Relax. You’re doing fine. Ethan, say hello to the nice lady.’
Ethan seemed engrossed in the ducks.
‘Ethan?’ Sophie shook his arm a little. ‘Ethan?’ she sang.
Ethan turned huge blue eyes first on Sophie and then on Miss L.
‘Oh, my good lord,’ she said, ‘those eyes. Hello. Are you Ethan?’
The little boy nodded very solemnly.
Miss L smiled. ‘My name is Mawmaw.’
The child smiled back.
‘Can you say “Mawmaw”, Ethan?’
‘Mawmaw,’ he said, and Miss L leaned on Sophie, as if to steady herself.
‘I never thought I’d live to see this day. Thank you, my dear. Thank you so much.’
‘Ethan, can you say “Hello, mawmaw”?’
‘Hay-o, Mawmaw.’
‘Oh, Sophie, he’s just too adorable.’
‘Isn’t he? And he’s such a sweet-natured child. Hardly ever cries or makes a fuss.’
Ethan had turned his attention back to the ducks.
‘Why don’t you give him some bread to throw?’ said Sophie.
Miss L took the bag of crumbs and said, ‘Would you like to give the nice ducks some bread, Ethan?’
‘Ess, peese.’
‘Oh, my goodness, you’re so cute.’ Miss L handed the bread to Ethan, one chunk at a time and Ethan, still too young to throw, dropped it by the stroller. Several ducks pounced at the same time, making him laugh.
‘Even his little laugh is charming.’
‘I think you’re smitten,’ Sophie said. Miss L hadn’t disagreed.
On the second meeting they had fed the ducks then gone to the Place Carnot to buy ice cream. Ethan was too small to manage a cornet by himself, so Sophie had suggested Miss L help him.
‘Are you sure, Sophie? I’ve never done anything like this before.’
‘Trust me, there’s nothing to it. Put a little ice cream on the spoon, hold it to his lips and Ethan will manage the rest.’
‘Ethan, would you like some?’
‘Ess, peese,’ he said, his eyes lighting up.
When it was time to say goodbye, Miss L had been quite emotional. ‘Sophie, I will never be able to thank you enough. Without your help, I’d never have met this precious child and my life would have been so much the poorer.’
‘Oh, don’t be silly,’ Sophie had said, embarrassed. ‘Ethan, we have to go and fetch Angeline now. Can you say bye-bye to Mawmaw, please.’
Ethan waved his hand and said in his cute, little-boy voice, ‘Bye-bye, Mawmaw.’
Miss L had looked like she might melt, right there on the sidewalk.
It was all going really well. When Sophie got back to the house, Angeline in tow, Penny was in exuberant mood.
‘Sophie, how can I thank you? With the house to myself, I’m easily writing a chapter a day.’
Sophie felt warm inside. Making other people happy could become addictive. ‘At this rate you’ll be ready to publish before we head back to the States,’ she said.
‘Well, you never know. It’s looking good.’
Later, when Penny had put the kids to bed she said, ‘Why don’t you grab a glass of wine, Sophie, and come join us on the terrace?’
‘Sure you don’t mind?’ Sophie usually tried to give them some space in the evening, once the kids were asleep.
‘Why would we mind? We like your company,’ said Seth. ‘Reminds us of when we were young.’
Penny thumped him on the arm and Seth yelped.
‘Thanks. Just let me dump my stuff.’
Sophie closed her bedroom door and leaned against it. At their meetings in the States, Miss L had been insistent she not get too close to the family. ‘Do you hear me, Sophie? They’re not your friends. You’ll be there to do a job. Please do not forget who is paying you. And how generously.’
‘I know.’
‘There’s far too much at stake for me to take any risk that you’ll change your mind or do something silly.’
‘I won’t.’
‘You’d better not. You know how much it means to me to see those grandchildren.’
Sophie needed the remuneration Miss L had promised her. Plus, she wanted to help reunite the children with their grandmother. So far, so good. Ethan seemed to like Miss L and it was clear she adored him. A few more visits and it would be time to take Angeline along to join the fun. Sophie had planned the trip already. On the Place Gambetta she’d found an old-fashioned carousel just like the one they’d seen in Paris. She knew Angeline would love to ride it with her newly found Mawmaw.
Sophie’s only concern was that Miss L could be a bit too controlling. Why shouldn’t an au pair enjoy a drink with her employers? It wasn’t as if anyone was going to get hurt at the end of the day. If Seth and Penny ended up mad at her for bringing Miss L and her grandkids together without their knowledge, too bad. What was the worst that could happen? Sophie sprayed her wrists with a defiant spritz of perfume, brushed her hair and whispered to her reflection, ‘What harm can a glass of wine do?’
After a bit of chit-chat about the kids and the funny things Angel had said or Ethan had done, Penny and Seth went quiet.
Sophie concentrated on her wine glass.
Seth reached out and took his wife’s hand. ‘We’ve got a favour to ask.’
‘A big favour.’
‘Anything,’ said Sophie, shrugging. ‘Whatever I can do to help you guys.’
‘Well, there’s nothing certain yet,’ said Penny.
Seth gave his wife’s hand a little tug. ‘Come on, Pen. I thought you were up for it.’
Penny took a deep breath. ‘Okay. Sophie. We were wondering how you’d feel about something.’
When Penny said no more, Sophie spread her hands wide and raised her eyebrows.
Seth burst out laughing. ‘Oh, for pity’s sake, Pen, spit it out!’
In a rush of words, as if she was scared she might lose her nerve, Penny blurted, ‘We were thinking we might stay a night in Toulouse some time and we’re wondering how you’d feel about having the kids overnight. On your own. By yourself. All night.’
‘Stop, Penny, please,’ said Sophie, holding up her hands in surrender. ‘I get it.’
‘And?’
‘And I’m flattered to be asked. But the answer’s no.’
Seth and Penny abandoned the high-five they were about to do and turned to look at her.
‘Seriously, Soph?’
She nodded her head gravely.
Penny took a gulp of wine and tried to speak before she’d swallowed it. ‘Sorry,’ she spluttered, ‘we shouldn’t have asked. It’s too much.’
Seth patted his wife on the back until he seemed sure she was okay then said, ‘You don’t have to, of course, Sophie, and obviously, we’d pay you for the extra hours and the added responsibility.’
Sophie shook her head. ‘It’s not that.’
‘What is it, then?’
‘Drop it please, Seth,’ said Penny. ‘It doesn’t matter. I wasn’t sure about it anyway.’
‘No, Pen, I’m just curious to know why Sophie said no. You seem so confident with the kids, Soph, we didn’t think you’d mind.’
‘Are you guys for real?’ Sophie waited just long enough to see the shock on their faces.
Then she smiled. ‘Why would I want to spend one minute longer than I have to with those adorable little kids? Why would I want to have them all to myself at bath time and bedtime, and first thing in the morning when they wake up? The best-behaved, smartest, sweetest kids on the face of the planet? It’s a joy to look after them.’
Penny looked confused.
‘Is that a yes?’ asked Seth.
‘I’d love to.’
Seth blew out long and loud. ‘You had me going for a minute there, kid.’
‘Me too,’ said Penny, laughing now and rising for a hug.
‘I’m sorry. That was mean, but you were, like, so serious. As if you were asking some enormous favour of me. I couldn’t resist.’
‘You’re forgiven,’ said Seth, ‘but only if it’s a definite yes.’
‘Definitely, positively, absolutely, yes. When are you thinking of going?’
‘In a couple weeks, maybe?’
‘You think the kids will be okay? Have you ever left them overnight before?’
The look Penny gave her husband told Sophie the answer.
‘Not once? They’ve never slept at Grandma’s? I used to love going to stay with my grandma when I was Angeline’s age.’
Penny shook her head.
‘She’s never been to a sleepover?’
Another unambiguous shake.
‘What, never?’
‘I’m not a big fan of sleepovers, to be honest. I mean, letting your little girl go and sleep in a stranger’s house. I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.’
‘I get that, but Grandmas are different.’
‘The children don’t have any grandparents,’ said Seth. He sounded weird. Sad, or something.
‘Oh, I’m so sorry. My mom used to say, “Sophie, engage brain before putting mouth in gear.” Sometimes I forget.’
‘It’s okay. No harm done.’
Sophie didn’t know what to say.
Penny filled the silence. ‘Tell you what. It’s early days. Why don’t we wait and see how things go over the next couple weeks?’
Seth said, ‘Yeah, make sure Angeline is happily settled in school first.’
Sophie nodded. ‘Maybe you two could go for a stroll one bath time? Then disappear another night and let me put them to bed?’
‘That’s clever,’ said Penny.
‘On the third night,’ said Sophie, warming to her suggestion, ‘you two could go on a date. Have a drink, grab a little dinner. There are loads of chic bistros in the new town. Not so touristy over there.’
‘I’m liking that idea. Whaddaya say, Mrs Gates? Gonna let me take you on a date some night?’
Penny blushed like a ninth-grader being asked out for the first time.
