Collected Short Fiction, page 220
First Man:
“It’s what we can do for you, actually – ”
The man from the barn rests one hand on his pistol but doesn’t draw it.
Second Man:
“Hold on, now, no need for anyone to get an itchy trigger finger. Where you from?”
Sgt. Jameson:
“Who wants to know?”
Second Man:
“Max Anderson. I’m a vet, myself. Saw combat with the 11th Armored Cavalry in Nam.”
Sgt. Jameson:
“Blackhorse?”
Second Man:
“That’s the one. I was on Operation Kittyhawk.”
Sgt. Jameson:
“I am pleased to make your acquaintance, sir, and I know you’ll understand I’m responsible for the safety of my people.”
Second Man:
“I do, sergeant, and I – well, I’m not sure how to go about offering you help except, well – we’re here to help. We’ve established a safe place with pretty steady power, running water, indoor plumbing and a good supply of food. Hot shower interest you at all? Or a hot meal or two? If you’re on your way somewhere else, we won’t interfere with whatever orders you have.”
The man from the barn looks back over his shoulder at the camera.
A woman moves into POV from the right.
Dr. B:
“How are you folks fixed for medicine?”
The question seems to puzzle them.
Second Man:
“We have a doctor and a veterinarian.”
Dr. B:
“And a pharmacy?”
The second man frowns, seems reluctant to answer.
Second Man:
“Well, we got a doctor and he’s in charge – ”
Dr. B:
“I’m only asking because there’s a diabetic among us and the insulin’s running out.”
Second Man:
“I’ll talk to our doc.”
[Text Document: ro.lf@[redacted] uploaded to the Cloud]
Dearest Jo:
Jameson sent the visitors off, saying he’d consider their offer and they could talk tomorrow. Then he and Pvt. Oh went into the tower for a couple of hours. I think they were trying to make contact with their command or some other military – any other military? Maybe even book a flight out for us civilians. Ha, ha (humorless laugh). Anyway, either they didn’t get the answers they wanted or maybe no answers at all. A little while after they came back, Jameson took me aside and told me that he was going to send Oh and Pappadopolous on a recon to check those people out. If they’re okay, they’ll leave us civilians with them.
I said, what if I don’t want to stay there?
Jameson said he wasn’t taking requests. If it’s safe, he’s dropping us there and if we have the sense god gave a goose, we’ll stay put and ride things out in relative comfort, or words to that effect. (Actually the part with the sense god gave a goose is verbatim. It startled me – I thought for a minute I was hearing your voice. Or is this just something everybody says in the army?).
I said that I thought unless he had specific orders from someone in command, he and the other soldiers ought to stay there, too, as protection. He looked surprised for a second and then told me that sounded like something his own wife would say. He said their duty as infantry was to find a company to hook up with and continue to engage the enemy. I argued – suddenly I really did not like the idea of them leaving us. Why shouldn’t they have to stay and guard everyone from zombies or anything else, for that matter? I said as much, but he just rattled off a bunch of regulations about combat infantry and I don’t know what. It was so weird hearing that. Combat conditions. No one in living memory has been in combat conditions in this country. The closest we’ve ever come are Pearl Harbor and the World Trade Center in Man
hat-00-=090
tan
I was typing that and all of a sudden I just heaved. Twice. All over the iPad. Good thing it wasn’t a laptop. All I had to do was wipe it off and make sure nothing got into the plug or anything (obviously it didn’t). Everyone was worried, asking me what I’d eaten – thinking some of the food was bad, I guess. That wasn’t it and I’m okay now. I won’t be eating anything till tomorrow, but I’m okay. It wasn’t food poisoning. It was
Well, you know how I told you how I used to be an easy crier till I started taking Prozac? Thank god – it was so embarrassing! Prozac Woman doesn’t cry. Anyway, when I was writing that about Pearl Harbor and the WTC, all of a sudden, something overwhelming hit me. But instead of bursting into tears, I puked.
Is that actually better than crying? Stay tuned.
(Please, please, please stay tuned. Please be tuned.)
[Videofile: ro.lf@[redacted] uploaded to the Cloud]
POV from the back of the Humvee, following the pickup trucks.
DiTommasso:
“– seem okay to me.”
Pvt. Oh:
“They might be. But being careful doesn’t hurt.”
DiTommasso:
“None of them had any visible wounds. I thought it was pretty good of them to show us as much skin as they did – ”
Pvt. Oh:
“Sir, there’s more to be careful of than zombies. You can’t trust anyone just because they’re alive.”
DiTommasso:
“One of those men is a veteran – ”
Sgt. Jameson:
“So he said.”
DiTommasso:
“You don’t believe him?”
Sgt. Jameson:
“Didn’t say that.”
DiTommasso:
“Sounded like it.”
Sgt. Jameson:
“It’s like Oh said. These are strangers. When the standard conditions of society break down, some people take advantage, do things they couldn’t get away with before.”
DiTommasso:
“Worse than taking a 14-year-old girl away and shooting her in the head?”
Sgt. Jameson:
“Lots worse.”
Cuts to black.
A suburban street. Five men are pointing rifles in the general direction of the POV.
Anderson:
“– old you what the local ordnances are here. We are god-fearin’ people and we don’t hold with her kind. The government says they can join the army now so sign ’er up. She can go with you because she ain’t stayin’ here!”
Sgt. Jameson [off-screen]:
“What you’re doing is illegal – ”
Anderson:
“Already explained to you what the laws are here. It ain’t up to the army to tell us what’s legal and what isn’t. We’re within our rights to live without worrying about degenerates walking around eyeing up our kids, planning to do god knows what to them.”
Cpl. Charette [off-screen]:
“Mr. Anderson! It’s a federal offence to – ”
Anderson:
“Seen any feds lately? Me, neither. You find any, feel free to send them round to see us.”
Kit [off-screen]:
“If Rocky can’t stay, I don’t want to!”
DiTommasso [off-screen]:
[barely audible, unintelligible.]
Anderson:
“See? It’s already too late for your kid! When you see her marching in some goddamned parade holding hands with something that don’t know whether it’s a boy or a girl, you remember [fades] . . .”
Sgt. Jameson [off-screen]:
“Wait a minute – what about the doctor?”
Anderson [with heavy sarcasm]:
“You got an appointment?”
Sgt. Jameson [off-screen]:
“Not your doctor, ours. She’s diabetic and she’s in a pretty bad way.”
POV swings around to the Humvee. A woman is sitting in the passenger seat, eyes closed, possibly unconscious. Up on top, a soldier has his weapon trained on the civilians. POV swings back to the group of men.
Anderson:
“Is she a lesbo, too?”
Sgt. Jameson [off-screen, but very close, speaking under his breath]:
. . . un-fucking-believable. [raises voice] I don’t know, I didn’t ask!”
Cpl. Charette [off-screen, nearby]:
There are fucking zombies –
LaFortune [off-screen]:
“Forget it. People like that would rather have a zombie bite them than someone of the same sex kiss them.”
Cpl. Charette [off-screen]:
No, seriously – zombies at ten o’clock!
Sgt. Jameson [off-screen]:
“We are outahere!”
[sounds of gunfire.]
POV swings crazily, then running, blurry motion into the back-seat of the Humvee.
Sgt. Jameson [off-screen]:
“Mow ’em down!”
Glimpse of zombies bouncing off the front of the Humvee or going down beneath the tires. One clings to the hood for several seconds. The driver leans out of the side window and fires a pistol. He scores a direct hit in the middle of the zombie’s forehead.
[a beat, then the sound of Sgt. Jameson screaming.]
[Videofile: ro.lf@[redacted] uploaded to the Cloud]
POV of a woman driving what appears to be a luxury SUV. Someone else is holding the camera on her. She glances at it from time to time, but mostly keeps her eyes on the road. It’s a bumpy ride.
LaFortune:
“It’s been five days since our encounter with the god-fearing folks of Bumfuck, Pennsylvania. Well, I think it’s been five days –
Kit [off-screen]:
“Close enough. Four-and-a-half days.”
The girl is obviously sitting in the front passenger seat, holding the iPad. It’s a very bumpy ride – trees are visible through the driver’s-side window. POV pans to the back seats: A man and a female soldier are directly behind the front seats. Behind them are a black woman in a ripped and dirty State Trooper’s uniform and an older man with a white beard and frightened eyes.
LaFortune [off-screen]:
“We’ve lost a few – ”
Jump cut to a scene time-stamped four days earlier. Pvt. Oh is standing by the side of the luxury SUV. The Humvee seems to be gone. The area is a clearing in a wooded area, off-road. Behind the SUV, giant pylons holding power lines stretch far into the distance.
DiTommasso [off-screen]:
“. . . far we are from the next – ”
Pvt. Oh suddenly screams and tries to pull away from the SUV. The doctor has grabbed him through the open window and is gnawing on his neck. There is blood spurting everywhere.
Cpl. Charette:
“Oh, fuck me – !”
[sound of automatic gunfire.]
Pvt. Oh falls to the ground. Dr. B hangs limply out the window, most of her head gone. Cpl. Charette moves forward from behind the camera, making stay back gestures with one hand. She glances over her shoulder.
Cpl. Charette:
“And shut that fucking thing off –
Jump cut back to woman at steering wheel of the SUV.
LaFortune:
“– told you to delete that!”
Kit [off-screen]:
“Delete it yourself. I uploaded it to the Cloud.”
LaFortune:
“Whatever, I just don’t ever want to see that again.”
Kit [off-screen]:
“Maybe not, but the Sarge was right. Somebody’s got to witness.”
The woman glances at her unhappily.
LaFortune:
“Don’t be precocious or you won’t get any toys for Christmas.”
Kit [off-screen]:
“There’s no such thing as Christmas. Not any more.”
Older Man [off-screen]:
“Yeah, now it’s Easter, for everybody. Resurrection, all day every day.”
State Trooper [off-screen]:
“They told us in Sunday school that when the dead rose, that made it Judgment Day.”
POV swings around to passengers. The soldier looks scornful.
Cpl. Charette:
“They also said there’d be signs and wonders in the sky. Anybody seen any of those? How about just a road sign telling us where to report for judgment?”
State Trooper [uneasy]:
“I didn’t say I believed any of that stuff – ”
Cpl. Charette:
“Doesn’t matter whether you do or not. So far, I haven’t seen any signs or wonders, just the dead rising. Except all they do after they rise is try to eat the living. I don’t remember hearing about cannibal corpses in the gospels – ”
DiTommasso [abruptly, flat, dead voice]:
“Take and eat, for this is my body.”
[shocked silence.]
“Whoever eats of my body and drinks of my blood has eternal life, and I shall raise him up at the last day.”
Kit [off-screen, fearful]:
“Daddy?”
Cpl. Charette:
“I think that’s enough, sir.”
Hand covers iPad screen.
[Videofile: ro.lf@[redacted] uploaded to the Cloud]
POV looking up from girl’s lap at her and the woman, still driving.
Kit:
“. . . look at it yourself if you don’t believe me!”
[sound of paper rustling.]
Cpl. Charette [off-screen]:
“She’s right. We’re in Delaware.”
SUV slows to a stop.
LaFortune:
“So what do you want me to do? Find another pylon path? We’ve still got about half a tank of gas.”
Cpl. Charette [off-screen]:
“We head for Washington.”
POV swings around to the soldier. Beside her, the man seems to be fast asleep in the shoulder harness.
LaFortune:
“Seriously?”
POV swings back to her.
“Why? What’s in DC?”
POV swings back to the soldier. It continues to swing back and forth between the two women as they talk.
Cpl. Charette:
“Command headquarters.”
LaFortune:
“Seriously?! You’re still looking for someone to – to – to tell you what to do?”
Cpl. Charette:
“I’m still in the Army, no matter what and, so far as I still know, the President is the Commander-in-Chief.”
Older Man [off-screen]:
“So, what – you want to drive up to the White House? There won’t be anyone there, they’ll have evacuated the whole goddam government – ”
Cpl. Charette:
“There will be an organized command that I can report to. Tell them what happened. Get reassigned.”
Older Man [off-screen]:
“And what about us? What are we supposed to do?”
Cpl. Charette:
“There’ll be some provision made for evacuating civilians – ”
LaFortune:
“Oh, yeah. That worked real well before, back in Perth Amboy – ”
Cpl. Charette:
“It worked well enough that you weren’t gridlocked on 95 South in sight of the mushroom cloud that used to be Manhattan.”
[pause.]
LaFortune:
“It’s gone downhill a lot since then.”
[the two women suddenly burst out laughing.]
Kit [off-screen, honestly puzzled]:
“What’s so funny?”
State Trooper [off-screen]:
“I think it’s a geography joke.”
Kit [off-screen]:
“Huh?”
State Trooper [off-screen]:
“You had to be there.”
Kit [off-screen, frustrated]:
“I was there and I still don’t get it! What’s so funny?”
[the two women laugh harder.]
[Videofile: ro.lf@[redacted] uploaded to the Cloud]
POV of rolling countryside. Approaching sign reads: CHESAPEAKE BAY BRIDGE.
Cpl. Charette [off-screen]:
“There’ll be a roadblock well before the bridge and another right at the bridge. If I still had my radio, I could’ve called and told them we were coming.”
LaFortune [off-screen]:
“You sound pretty sure about that.”
Cpl. Charette [off-screen]:
“It’s only logical. They’ll probably be MARSOC – United States Marine Corps Special Operations Command. Protecting the capital. And the Capitol.”
LaFortune [off-screen]:
“What if you’re wrong? What if there’s no one at the bridge?”
Cpl. Charette [off-screen]:
“If there’s no one guarding access at the bridge, all bets are off. Everyone’s dead.”
LaFortune [off-screen]:
“What do we do then?”
Cpl. Charette [off-screen]:
“Fuck if I know.”
[Videofile: ro.lf@[redacted] uploaded to the Cloud]
POV of a military roadblock on an otherwise empty highway. A black female Marine in fatigues with a name-tag that says JACKSON holds up her hand as the SUV slows to a stop. She talks through the open driver’s window.
Jackson:
“– tracking you folks since you left the airstrip in Bridgton.”
LaFortune [off-screen]:
“You have? How?”
Jackson:
“Oh, please. Do you think you’re the only person who knows how to access the Cloud? Thanks to people like you, we’ve got a pretty good idea of what’s been going on. Better than satellite – satellite data comes in slower.”
LaFortune [off-screen, nervous laugh]:
“So, uh, where is everybody?”
Jackson:
“If you’re talking civilians, we evacuated everyone in this vicinity to the wildlife refuge and put some reservists on guard duty. It’s kinda crowded and they’re camping out with pretty basic amenities – they ran outa toilet paper a few days ago, but there’s still plenty of food to go around. I think there’s room for two-three more and I guaran-damn-tee you you’ll be safe.”
[brief silence.]
LaFortune [off-screen]:
“I don’t know.”
Jackson:
“On the other hand, we’ve got more room and we need people a lot more than they do.”
LaFortune [off-screen]:
“Okay.”
Jackson:
“Yeah? You sure?”
LaFortune [off-screen]:
“I’m sure.”
Jackson:
“Maybe you want to think about it some.”
LaFortune [off-screen]:
“No, I’m good to go. And I might as well.”
Female soldier enters frame from left.
