Called into Action, page 19
Nick chuckled. “I was on that first rescue with you. Remember?”
They’d been called to a town in Iowa, ravaged by a tornado. He’d made mistakes. Newbie mistakes. Working Zip too hard, too long. And he almost walked away from it all when he stumbled on the bodies of a woman and her child who hadn’t survived. But he’d learned from it. Painfully. The face of that woman had haunted him so many nights after. “Yeah. I remember.”
“Then you know that you can’t be prepared for a scene like that. She’s trained hard and she deserves a chance to show her stuff.” He cocked an eyebrow at Jay. “I would think you would be happy for her.”
Jay grunted.
Nick shook his head. “You are so arrogant, so holier than thou. She’s ready, and you know it. You saw her out there. You saw the connection between her and her dog. And her training logs show she’s trained in inclement weather. Maybe not recently, but she has. Did you even bother to look them over?”
Jay hadn’t thumbed through her training log. There was no need. Her team leader back in New York had to sign off that she was ready when the application was sent into the national organization. But there was no mandate on how many days or how inclement the weather had to be.
Jay shook his head and stood. When he reached the door, he turned for one last parting shot. “She isn’t ready, Nick. If you do this, you’re putting lives in danger. Hers and everyone she’s called out to rescue.”
He slammed out of the office, spun tires on rocks as he left. Penelope Ramos had no business taking her test yet. She was still unsure, still lacked the confidence in herself to be able to deploy to a real emergency. Still needed to experience a variety of environmental conditions.
She needed time.
Fuck. He paused at a stoplight, not even sure where he needed to go.
I need time. It was slipping through his fingers as he made all the wrong moves with Penelope. If Nick thought she and Havoc were ready, she was another step closer to leaving Maple Falls.
And there was not one damned thing he could do to stop the test.
Chapter Twenty-One
Penelope
Maple Falls, Vermont, took Halloween as seriously as Santa Claus, Indiana, took Christmas. The whole town had already started decorating. Pumpkins lined sidewalks. White plastic bag ghosts hung from tree branches. Hay bales and corn stalks lit with white twinkle lights graced all the front porches in town. Literally.
The crowning glory to the celebration of fall was the Halloween Festival. Rides, games, trick-or-treating, a haunted house—six square blocks of carnival and the whole town pitched in. The town divided the revenue among the various committees and commissions, and that was why Maple Falls remained in shipshape condition.
Right now, Penelope couldn’t think about the festival or the evaluation. Right now, she had to make things right with Jay. Had he not taken avoidance to new heights of expertise, she could have done it at work, but he’d somehow managed to take away every single opportunity for them to have a moment together. He’d even gone so far as to volunteer to take the governor to lunch—a man he despised and blamed almost as much as he blamed Penelope for setting the safety program back by more than a year.
She’d waited for him to come back, but by six that evening, she knew he wouldn’t be returning to the office. So, with no choice left, she asked Charlie to watch Havoc and she drove out to the farmhouse. She knocked. Would wait all night for him to come home if she had to.
Gramps answered the door. “Can I help you?”
Nick had warned her not to go, that Jay was in a mood, so she’d prepared for that, but she found herself unaccountably flustered running into Gramps. “Hi, Larry. Is Jay around?”
Trisha, the home health aide, appeared behind him and smiled. “Hi. Just me and Larry right now. But Jay should be home soon. He went into town to get dinner.” She pushed open the screen door. “Did you want to come in and wait?”
Penelope cast a worried glance at Gramps. “Is it okay?”
“Well, of course it’s okay. I may be falling apart, but it’s not contagious. Get on in here.” He turned and went to his recliner. The TV was set on some game show and he stared at the screen, ignoring Penelope and the nurse.
Trisha led her to the kitchen. “Larry has been pretty grumpy and unsteady this afternoon, and Jay wasn’t taking it very well. So, he offered to go pick up dinner. I think he just needed some time away to process. Parkinson’s is a mean disease.” She filled a pitcher with water, then stirred in some lemonade crystals. She couldn’t have been more than fifty. A blond ponytail swung to the middle of her back, and her slender body shook as she put her whole arm into stirring the liquid. “Jay didn’t mention you would be coming over.”
Of course not. Why would he? She’d been terribly insensitive to the family crisis he’d been facing. “I need to go over some things for work with him.” Ugh. That sounded lamer coming out.
“I tried to impress upon Jay that staying positive is key for Larry.” She turned, holding the stirring spoon. “If it’s stressful, probably best if you and Jay do your work things at work.”
“Oh.” She hadn’t considered she would be disturbing Gramps. “I’m sorry.”
“This is a time of adjustment for everyone,” Trisha said, keeping her voice down. “Imagine if you started losing your independence. Needed someone to help you bathe. To dress. And then you start to project what’s in store down the road. Not being able to control your bladder or bowels, not being able to walk, to feed yourself. And if you live long enough, you’ll start to lose your memories. That’s the cruel forecast Parkinson’s hands you. That’s why they lash out at their loved ones. They’re scared and angry.”
Heat crawled up Penelope’s face. She should’ve called. But she hadn’t because she was afraid Jay would tell her not to come. Or worse, not answer at all. She stood. “I’ll go and call Jay later.”
The nurse shook her head. “No. No. Jay will be back soon. Larry doesn’t mind having you wait. I just wanted you to know what Jay is up against.”
She shouldn’t have come. She was being selfish, wanting only to ease her conscience. Jay had enough to deal with without her adding to his worries. Right now, he needed to concentrate on his grandfather. “I’m going to go. Just tell Jay I’ll catch him tomorrow at work.”
The nurse closed her eyes and sighed. “Sometimes my mouth runs away with me, and I forget that I’m here to help, not run the show.”
Penelope appreciated her candor and smiled. But when the back door swung open, and Jay walked in with two carryout bags from Clover’s, her pulse jacked sky-high. Seeing him so close made her want to run into his arms. She wanted to smell his shampoo, feel the warmth of his body and the strength of his arms wrapped around her.
She wanted him to tell her he forgave her, that everything would be okay.
Instead, he raised his eyebrows at her, but didn’t speak. She blew a breath out and smoothed the papers she’d been rolling and unrolling as she spoke with the nurse. “I brought the, um, Halloween fundraiser ideas from Nick.”
He nodded and pulled foam containers from the bag. “All right.”
She waited, but he didn’t say anything more. Didn’t even look at her. “Well, guess I’ll be going now.”
He finally turned and considered her for a minute. “I’ll walk you out.”
This wasn’t what she’d played out in her head. She’d pictured them talking, really talking, enough to work out whatever was wrong between them. But at this point, she’d take whatever time with him that she could get. Her heart thrummed. When she reached her SUV, he leaned against the front fender and crossed his arms. He’d changed out of his uniform into a pair of basketball shorts and a T-shirt, and he smelled so good. “Thanks for bringing those out here.”
“Nick said you left in kind of a hurry.” She had a thousand things she wanted to say and no ability to form the words. The only way to handle the awkwardness of this situation was to get the hell out of there before she made anything worse. She opened the door and slid behind the steering wheel. “Your food’s probably getting cold.”
“Yeah. And I need to let Trisha get home.” He nodded toward the house but didn’t move away from her car. He rubbed his palms together as if he needed the friction to rub away something sticky. “Nick said you’re going to test this weekend.”
She nodded.
“Well, good luck, then.” He cleared his throat and pushed off the fender. “I should get back in there.”
When he turned and walked back toward the house, Penelope reversed down the driveway and drove straight to the duplex. It seemed like one or the other of them was always walking—or running—away. Was it a sign they were terrible for each other? That they didn’t care enough to try to walk through the fire?
And the longer they went without addressing these questions, the harder it would be to finally open the topic. To delve into the wounds they each had.
When she pulled up to the duplex, Charlie was outside. Penelope climbed out of the Audi and waved. She needed to do something to burn off the anxious energy coursing through her veins. “Want to go hiking?”
Charlie nodded. “Sure. Let me change, and I’ll meet you back here in ten.”
They drove to the park and climbed out. After they’d walked for a few minutes, Penelope filled her in on her brief encounter with Jay. “It was like talking to a zombie. Like Night of the Barely Living Park Ranger.”
Havoc bounded ahead, sniffing leaves and marking random tree trunks along the way while Charlie trudged along the dirt path. “He’s going through a lot right now. Give him some time.”
Time wasn’t something she had. The building was almost finished, and then it was back to Manhattan, her job, and her life.
They passed under a canopy of trees to a clearing that led to a little babbling brook. Charlie sat down at the edge of the stream’s bed and dangled her feet over the edge. Havoc splashed into the water and Penelope stood watching the water trickle over rocks and limbs. Charlie chucked a stone in the water near her feet. “Nick said you’re testing this weekend. You nervous?”
“More anxious. I keep going over everything in my head, running scenarios and thinking about what I need to do to keep Havoc focused. It’s the variables that scare me more than the test, the things I can’t control.” This was one test that required her to figure out how to manage the uncontrollable, and she hadn’t formulated a plan for that just yet. Nick would be watching everything, taking points off for her mistakes, for Havoc’s behavior. And while she’d been working with the dog, he still had moments of rebellion.
“I’m sure you’ll do great. Just be confident. If you make a mistake, roll with it.”
“Roll with it? That’s your big advice?”
“That and stay alive, don’t text and drive.” Charlie smiled and wiggled her eyebrows. “That’s probably all cops, though. And it’s more motto than advice.”
“What about know when to say when?”
“I think that’s a beer commercial.” Charlie chuckled and slapped at a mosquito on her arm. She stood and dusted off the back of her jeans. “You ready to head back? I’m starving.”
“Food sounds good.”
They headed back down the trail to the parking lot. Havoc, wet and muddy, jumped into the rear of the SUV and Penelope tied his leash to a carabiner she had installed to keep him from crawling into the front and dirtying the rest of the car. After, she climbed into the driver’s side and started the engine.
A few minutes later they arrived at the bar, which was dark and loud. The food came pretty quickly along with lime margaritas. Penelope downed the first margarita more from thirst while ignoring the nachos. Then, when another drink magically appeared, she guzzled it, too.
Charlie matched her drink for drink.
“Don’t you dare drunk text, Penelope. Give me your phone.” Charlie reached across the table and knocked over an empty margarita glass. The slice of lime still hanging off the rim stopped it from crashing to the floor.
Penelope held her arm out to the far side. She turned her back to Charlie and hit the message icon. She was just going to send a short message and apologize to Jay. Nothing long or stupid or embarrassing.
Penelope: I know you’re mad at me, and I’m sorry.
Oh, yeah. She could do this. Could do this so well she might never have to talk to people in person again.
Penelope: I miss being your friend.
She stared at the screen and saw two sets of texts, so she closed one eye and tried again.
Penelope: You looked HOT in those shorts tonight.
Nothing wrong with flattery. Apparently, he didn’t respond to it, either, though.
Penelope: If you were here with me right now, I would take your clothes off with my teeth and lick your body from your earlobe to your kneecap and every inch in between.
“Oh, hell no,” Charlie said from over Penelope’s shoulder, reading her pathetic texts. What ensued next was likely very entertaining to the bar patrons at the next table. “Give me your damn phone!” It was really no contest. Charlie was a trained officer of the law after all, and Penelope had no practical idea how to escape from a rear wristlock.
Penelope squawked loudly as Charlie grabbed the phone with her free hand and dropped it into the margarita pitcher on the table. “Oh, come on!”
When Charlie released her, Penelope whirled around, ready to read her the riot act, but the off-duty sheriff cut her off with a pointed finger right between her eyes. “You’ve groveled enough for one night, sister. Get yourself together, or I’ll do it for you.”
Fine. She’d get herself together all right. Tomorrow, she’d march right into the office and confront Jay, then let the chips fall where they may.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jay
Jay hadn’t exchanged much more than inscrutable eye contact with Penelope since her text messages had blown up his phone a few days ago. Honestly, those few texts had destroyed any resolve to keep his distance from her. She’d let herself be vulnerable and that got under his skin faster than anything. But yeah, she’d made it very hard to pursue what her honesty might mean because every time he walked into a room, she walked out. His phone had been blessedly or damnably—depending on his mood—silent. And when she did have to speak to him—which was seldom—she barely looked at him.
But as he waited in Nick’s office for a call from the governor, she strolled in and shut the door behind her. “We need to talk.” She didn’t wait for him to look at her or speak before she continued. “I know I should have told you I was posting your statue online. It was wrong and I’ve apologized. I thought that since you sold the statue anyway, we could move past it, but I guess not.” She paced a line in front of the desk, even shoving the visitor chair out of the way for more room. “I thought we were friends. I mean, I actually thought we were more than friends, since...” Her skin turned an adorable shade of pink. “Since we had sex, but okay. I was wrong.”
Shame washed over him. He wanted them to be more than friends, cared about her in a way that was beyond friendship. But whenever he thought about her as more, or whenever a moment would occur, he’d remember she was leaving. And his heart couldn’t take Penelope abandoning him. The same way it couldn’t take something bad happening to her while out searching for a missing person. “I’m sorry, Penelope.”
“I know we started off badly.” Her long sigh hit him in the gut, and he admired her determination to get through this. Her eyes widened and even with a desk between them, he could see every fleck of gray in her beautiful green eyes. “I’m a big enough person to admit. Plus, it’s a matter of public record. It was my fault. But I miss my friend. And I have a really big evaluation coming up. I need you.”
Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Last chance, dumb ass. Don’t. Say. It. “About your evaluation...you’re not ready. You’re not ready, and even if you convince Nick into passing you, you won’t be prepared for a real rescue.”
Her head jerked back as if he’d slapped her—which probably would have been kinder. “Excuse me?”
He sighed. In for a penny, in for a pound. His gut wrenched as he witnessed the surprise in her eyes. How could he make her understand? Make her aware of everything that could go wrong? Make her realize he didn’t want her to leave? “Penelope, you have good instincts, but a real search is dangerous for you and for Havoc.” If anyone knew that, it was Jay. “You need more time, more training. Or something bad might happen.”
“Nick thinks otherwise.” Defiance shined in her eyes. “And I’m sorry for what happened with Zip, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen to me or Havoc.”
“What, you think you’re immune? That you’re some kind of superhero that can’t get hurt?” The moment the words left his mouth, he cringed. He only wanted to keep her safe, not insult her by sounding like an arrogant and condescending jackass. He clamped his trap shut, to stop the verbal barbs he was throwing at her. If only she hadn’t mentioned Zip.
“Oye, cabron. I full well understand the dangers and worked my ass off to train Havoc to do this job. How dare you imply I don’t know what’s on the line. And if I decide to put my life on the line to help someone, that’s my call, my decision. Not yours.” She wheeled toward the door, then turned to stomp back and lean over the desk. “And another thing, friend, when someone texts you, it is common courtesy to reply.” Her glare faltered for a moment. “You didn’t reply to that last one, did you? Because I actually don’t know since Charlie—oh, never mind!”
