Playing With Lightning (Divine Duelist Book 1), page 30
“No!” I lunged at her, but ended up falling on my face as Bia’s magic tightened.
I’d tried to take away my mother’s hatred in the past, but that was one passion I’d never be able to tame. Not after our father had been killed in the Titanomachy. Not after she’d blamed me for not defending him well enough. Not after she’d decided I was worthless, my only purpose to gain her what honor I could as Zeus’ enforcer. And I’d managed to screw that up for her too. I grinned, happy I’d managed that at least.
“Just swear whatever she wants, Zelus.” Bia’s voice was low, pleading with me. “It’ll be okay.”
None of this was okay, but I couldn’t let my mother go near Leena. I’d stay Zeus’ enforcer for however long Styx wanted if it meant Leena was safe. I glanced at the bowl of water, nodding my acceptance.
Styx smiled grimly. “Good. Now swear that you won’t be with that mortal unless she proves she’s worthy and that you won’t leave the enforcers unless you tell Zeus straight to his face that you want to leave.”
She grinned, all too pleased with herself over those oaths. The first was wide open, not explaining how Leena could prove she’s worthy or what she had to be worthy of. That one would either be easy to break, since Leena was a badass and worthy of everything, or very difficult because Leena was probably too mad to even try and prove herself for my sake.
The second oath was harder. I’d spent the past century trying to get fired because I didn’t want to flat-out tell Zeus. She thought I was too cowardly to ever do that, and she might be right. I could have saved us all a lot of trouble if I’d done that from the start. The fear of what Zeus would do to me stopped me though. I hated bringing gods to their punishments, but hated the idea of my siblings having to drag me to my own even more.
“Well?” Styx asked, her smile growing larger. “Are you going to swear or should I go find that mortal and make her swear a few oaths instead?”
“I’ll swear,” I ground out, hating every moment of this. Styx had won and she knew it. I couldn’t fight this while also keeping Leena safe.
Bia’s magic loosened around my hand so I could touch the water. Its icy tendrils curled around my fingers, sliding up my arm.
“I swear that I won’t go to Leena unless she proves herself worthy of my feelings and I won’t leave the enforcers unless I tell Zeus face to face,” I spit the words out between my teeth, hoping she wouldn’t notice the tiny change I’d made to the part about Leena. “Happy?”
“Very.”
Styx motioned for Bia to let me go and Nike dropped down to catch me, cradling my head against her shoulder like I’d been wounded. The only thing that hurt was my heart. And there was no fix for that, not after the oaths I’d just sworn. Not unless Leena did something crazy.
I pressed my lips together to keep from smiling at the idea. Leena always did crazy things and she was already worthy of my feelings. All she’d have to do was forgive me and admit hers. If she did that, I could stand up to Zeus for her. There was still hope. As long as she wasn’t too upset with me. If she waited for me like I’d begged her to, I’d know she still cared. If not…then I’d stay as an enforcer as penance for all my lies.
Bia cleared her throat. “I’m sorr—”
“Don’t bother.” I got up with Nike’s help, leaving the training grounds and my siblings behind. I had to know if Leena had gone to the other island or not. Had to know if I had a chance.
Kratos took a few steps toward me, but then hung back with Bia. I knew he wanted to help me, but he also didn’t want to upset Bia or our mother. I nodded at him, appreciating the thought, at least.
Nike’s arm was tight around me. “We’ll find a way out of this.”
“We better.”
For my sake. And for Leena’s. I doubted my mother would actually leave her alone for too long.
Chapter 35 - Leena
Agon wanted me to wait for him so we could go to the other island together, but I didn’t want him to think I’d forgiven him already. He’d lied to me. Betrayed me. And yet, my traitorous heart missed him. I gripped the passage coin we’d won tight enough to imprint the number two on my palm. This was supposed to be our moment, our first step into our new lives. But he’d ruined it.
Now I was here all by myself in a realtor’s office, trying to pick out a new house I was supposed to call home. A gift from the TV station for rising to rank two. Everything about this felt wrong, from the absurdly large mansions to the glitzy lifestyle. I never wanted this; I just wanted to show Kai that I was better than he gave me credit for. And I’d done that. Now what was I supposed to do?
I should have let Chantara come with me as a distraction, but I wasn’t in the mood to be happy right now. My anger was slowly turning to heartbreak, and I just wanted to go back to yesterday, before we’d won that miserable duel. I never imagined finally beating Kai would end up like this.
I flipped through the book of available new houses without really looking at them. They were all ritzy and so different from the world I was used to that it seemed impossible to pick one. Picking one meant I’d be living all by myself in a house big enough for almost ten people. Who would want that?
“This one’s fine.” I pointed at a random house. It didn’t really matter what I picked. Nobody was here to enjoy it with me.
The realtor nodded. “That’s a great choice. We’ll have your things there for you in the morning.”
“I still need to pack.” It would give me a reason to go back to Chantara’s and escape this lonely nightmare.
“No need.” He smiled. “We’ll have movers stop by your old lodgings and pack everything for you. If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you to your new home.”
The perks of being in rank two apparently meant I didn’t have to lift a finger anymore. Moving all my boxes had been annoying last time, but now I’d give anything to joke around with Chantara while hauling them across the islands. Everything around me felt wrong without her. Without Agon…
“Miss?” The realtor looked uncomfortable, waiting for me to follow him.
“Sorry.”
I got up, determined to go through the motions since this was supposed to be the most exciting day of my life. I’d won the tournament, shoved it in Kai’s face, and was being treated like a millionaire. Agon would have—no. It didn’t matter if Agon would have liked it or not. He betrayed me. And now he was gone.
A sob threatened to overtake me, but I clamped down on it. I refused to burst into tears in front of anyone again. I just needed a place to sleep right now. I could deal with the rest tomorrow.
As the realtor pointed out all sorts of things around the island that I wouldn’t remember later, a group of duelists joined us. I recognized them from TV. They were extremely high ranked and I’d only ever seen them in passing.
“Lightning Leena!” they cheered, raising glasses of alcohol toward me. “Welcome to the party island!”
“Thanks.” I turned to follow the realtor, definitely not in the celebrating mood.
“Where are you going?” a woman asked. I should probably recognize her, but my thoughts were too scattered right now. “We’re here to bring you to your welcome party.”
The group was already tipsy, leaning against each other like they’d started the party early. If rumors were correct, this island was one big party every day. Me showing up was probably just an excuse, and they would have found a different one if I hadn’t ranked up. Actually, they would have been celebrating Kai ranking up then. That thought should have annoyed me, but right now, it sounded better. I would be on Chantara’s couch with a glass of wine, Agon by my side.
“Sorry, I’d rather just head home,” I mumbled, catching up to the realtor who was patiently waiting. “Thank you.”
“Leeeena!” the group whined. They were already drunk and far too annoying. “Join us for one drink. Everyone wants to meet you.”
“And your partner. Where’s he at?” one of them asked. I didn’t even care who. All I could focus on was the pain in my chest.
Where was Agon? Was he back in Olympus now, with Nike? Had he stopped his brother from getting in trouble? Would I ever see him again? Did I even want to see him again?
Maybe that drink they offered was a good idea. If I drank enough, I could forget what happened today. Forget that Agon was ever in my life in the first place. Forget men entirely. Too bad alcohol didn’t quite have that power. It could numb the pain though.
“One drink.” I let them pull me into their group, waving an apology to the realtor. Hopefully somebody would show me how to get to my new house after this party or I’d end up sleeping on the ground.
We made our way to an outdoor bar lit with hanging lamps. A drink was in front of me before I even asked. It was blue and shimmery, completely unidentifiable. I would be a fool to drink it, so of course, I downed it as fast as possible. Anything to drown out today.
The alcohol burned down my throat, leaving me gasping. “What was that?”
“A phoenix cocktail, and you’re supposed to sip it after it gets set on fire.” One of the duelists who’d brought me here laughed. “It’s kind of a tradition to drink whenever one of us wins. So, congratulations!”
I nodded, motioning at the bartender for a second, but let him set it on fire this time. The blue flames hovered over the glass until the bartender threw cinnamon on it, making the fire spark up taller. Then he poured something that smelled like lemon juice on it to put the flames out, changing the blue drink into a purple one. What magic was this? Agon would love it!
I’d only seen Agon drink once, and I’d been too serious at the time to have any fun with it. I should have danced with him when I’d had the chance, should have savored the moment more instead of caring about winning so much. Maybe he’d come back once he realized he missed dueling. Missed me.
Ugh. Sappy thoughts like that had plagued me after other people I cared about had betrayed me too. I didn’t need this right now. I downed my second drink, to the shock of the other duelists.
“Are you okay?” Karina asked. She was the third-highest ranked duelist, somebody I never imagined I’d be having a drink with. I used to stay up to watch all of her matches, even if Kai had wanted to do something else. Now she was here, sitting right next to me, and I was about to make her think I was a drunk.
“I’m fine.” I forced a smile on my face, which felt easier since the alcohol was loosening me up. “Today just didn’t go quite like I expected.”
“But you beat that scoundrel Kai.” She shook her head, smiling like she was impressed. “I was looking forward to doing that myself actually, but I’m happy to wait a little longer. What he did to you was awful.”
“It really was.” I sipped my third drink as people danced and laughed all around me. I should be celebrating. I’d beaten Kai, and one of my favorite duelists thought he was a scoundrel. He’d be so annoyed by that.
Apparently this alcohol was doing the trick because the idea of Kai being annoyed didn’t even get a rise out of me. Beating him had taken all the edge out of my anger. Or something else had.
“So why do you look like you lost your dog?” she asked.
“Not my dog, my partner.” Laughter bubbled out of me as I pictured Agon with his hands up like puppy paws and a wagging tail.
Another duelist leaned on the bar next to me. “You lost your partner?”
Damn. Had I said that out loud? Heat flushed my skin. “No, of course not.”
The last thing I needed was for the media to catch that story. If nobody knew, I could cling to the idea that he might still come back. That all those promises he’d made me weren’t lies. That he could explain why he’d sabotaged me and make up for everything.
I knew it was foolish…but it was all I had right now to keep myself from completely spiraling. Ugh. I had to talk to somebody about this before my brain exploded. Maybe the ferryman would take me back to Chantara’s.
“I said I’d have one drink.” My speech slurred a bit as I held up one finger. “But I had three. So it’s time to go.”
I nodded goodbye to Karina before I acted like too much of a drunk in front of her and stumbled off my stool, trying to walk with some dignity as the rest of the partygoers bemoaned me leaving early.
The roads here were made of polished stone, beautiful, but a bit slippery. Or I was a bit drunk. Man, what were those drinks? I didn’t even know where the docks were from here, so how would I get back to Chantara’s? I should have just stayed with the realtor.
“Leena?” a familiar woman’s voice called out.
What was Danae doing here? I’d have asked, but the world was spinning too fast. I took a deep breath, sitting down on a bench nearby. Downing three mystery drinks in quick succession hadn’t been the best idea. All my ideas had been bad since I’d gotten to these damn islands. From partnering with Kai to partnering with Agon. Maybe my next partner should be a woman.
“Still so sure you don’t want to duel with me?” I asked.
She smiled, joining me on the bench. “I don’t think I could live up to Agon.”
“He was no good.” I leaned back, gazing at the sunrise painting the sky red. A new day was coming. “He used me and then left. Like everyone else.” I glanced sideways at her. “How did you get here?”
She motioned at a box she’d laid on the bench. “I often make deliveries to the duelists here. Figured I’d make an early morning one to see how you were doing.” She paused, as if waiting for me to elaborate on how I was feeling, then sighed. “Why did Agon leave exactly? Chantara didn’t know, and it doesn’t make sense. He was so happy here.”
“It was all a lie.” I slumped down, almost sliding off the bench. “He was just using me to fail as epically as possible to piss off his boss.”
“What?”
“He’s gone. That’s all that matters.”
She leaned back, looking at the sky with me instead of asking me anything else. It felt nice having somebody here that I actually knew. Somebody who’d known Agon too.
“He said he’d come back,” I blurted out before I could stop myself. “That he hadn’t meant to hurt me.”
I laughed, how could he have not meant to hurt me? What else did he think would happen when I found out the truth? He probably thought I never would. He was a god, and I was just a silly mortal, mooning over him like a schoolgirl with a crush.
“I bet he didn’t,” Danae said. “Why would he have spent so much time helping you find your voice again if he was only trying to hurt you?”
“Find my voice?” I snorted. “He was trying to sabotage me. That’s what all those crazy ideas were. He wanted the fans to hate me so we’d fail.”
“Are you sure?” When I nodded, she sighed as if she didn’t want to argue, but still didn’t believe it either. “Well, he’s terrible at sabotage then. I mean, all he did was gain you more and more fans.”
“That’s true…” I sat up straight, staring at her. Maybe he wasn’t sabotaging me after all and I’d misunderstood something?
No. I wouldn’t let him off that easily. I’d broken my arm because of his sabotage. I should be angry right now. I needed to be angry. He’d admitted he was hoping the fans would turn on me. Even if he’d changed his mind later on and wanted to help me, it didn’t excuse what he’d done in the beginning. Or the fact that he’d had no intention of telling me about it.
This was all wrong. We were so happy yesterday, but now I was miserable and alone.
“Doesn’t matter. I can’t forgive him.”
Danae raised an eyebrow at me. “Really? He forgave you after you bet him in a duel like a selfish jerk. How is this any different?”
“It’s totally different.” Maybe. Probably. This was too much to think about right now. “Whatever. Can we go home now?”
She nodded, giving me a hug. “I’m sure he’ll come back. Have a little faith in him.”
Faith. That was ironic, considering he was a god. After everything he’d done for me, maybe he did deserve the benefit of the doubt though. I was hurt, sure, but I’d hurt him too. I should give him a chance. Believe in him like he’d believed in me. Even if that belief had stemmed from wanting us to lose. Nobody was perfect, and he had helped me win when losing would have been better for him.
Keeping hope alive might destroy the last bit of my faith in people, but I was willing to risk it for him. Willing to believe those promises he’d made me. Now I had to wait for him and see if he was somebody I could trust, or if he really was just a jerk who’d used me and abandoned me. Only time would tell.
Chapter 36 - Leena
Two days had passed and Agon hadn’t come back yet. Any hope I’d had of him returning had disappeared, vanished on the wind just like he had. I hadn’t gone to the other island again either, staying holed up in my old room at Chantara’s instead, first nursing a massive hangover and then nursing a broken heart. But the movers had taken all my things away already, and I was tired of borrowing clothes from Chantara. It was time to accept facts. Agon wasn’t coming back.
I trudged downstairs to tell Chantara I wouldn’t be staying with her anymore, but she was finishing up a man’s haircut. It would be better to wait until the salon was empty, in case I started sobbing again over that annoying god who’d wormed his way into my heart and then disappeared. I sank into a chair, waiting for her to finish.
Wait. The guy’s hair she was cutting looked way too familiar. Kai. Of all the people I wanted to see right now, he was at the very bottom of the list.
I marched over to them. “What are you doing here?”
Chantara practically dropped her scissors. “Oh, Leena, it’s so good to see you.”
She said that last part like I hadn’t been sleeping in her spare bedroom for the past two nights. She’d probably fed Kai some lie about me being on the other island still. She was a good friend like that.
