“Nein. I’m a sow’s ear and not a silk purse, but that’s the way Gott made me. And I know most Amish men want a delicate mädchen. One who flutters her lashes and blushes behind her hand.” Hands dropping into her lap, her expression grew wistful. “I’ve never been like that. I never will be.” Her smile wavered a little. “It’s probably why no one’s asked me to marry. I’m too stubborn and independent. I always want to do things for myself.” Though she attempted to make light of the matter, there was a hint of longing behind her words.

  “That fella you’re writing. Is he anyone special?”

  She blinked. “I’m surprised you recalled that.”

  “I pay more attention than you think I do.”

  She paused a moment before answering. “I’ve only gotten one letter so far. But it was quite sweet.”

  Curiosity prodded. “You planning to write back?”

  She laughed. “Ja. I think I will.” Crossing her fingers, she comically bit her lower lip. Her nose scrunched in the cutest way. “Who knows? This might be the one.”

  As they conversed, Ethan’s fingers nervously intertwined with the edge of his suspenders. He tried to suppress the pounding of his heart, but it was futile. The realization dawned on him like the first light of a new day. He was jealous another fellow had caught her interest. The newfound emotion was exhilarating. And terrifying. Her hopes reflected his own yearnings. The ice chilling his emotions had, at long last, begun to thaw.

  “Daed thinks I should start courting again.”

  Her gaiety sobered. “And how do you feel about that?”

  “The idea scares me. Priscilla was the only girl I ever dated. Never been with anybody else.” As he spoke, Ethan ran a hand down his beard. Aside from recently giving it a trim to tame the scraggly overgrowth, he didn’t dare cut it off. He wasn’t prepared to take things that far. Not yet. “Anyway, Daed’s been hinting for me to find someone. Soon. He’s hoping for more enkelkinder before he gets too old to enjoy them.”

  “Do you want more youngies?”

  “Ja. I do.” He did. Very much so.

  Amity’s gaze deepened with warmth and compassion. “Then we’ll have to start getting you out and about.”

  Ethan blew out a breath. Between running the kaffeeshop, managing his household and trying to keep his familie together, he barely had a minute to spare. The only real break he enjoyed was on Sunday. Three hours in the pews was a welcome respite. He enjoyed the preaching but never stayed to socialize afterward. “I wouldn’t know where to begin.”

  “Come to Rebecca’s wedding.” Leaning closer, she rested a hand on the bench between them. “Everyone in the community will be there. You should, too.”

  Ethan blinked. Saying nein and dragging his heels weren’t acceptable any longer. He felt a presence, as if someone was guiding him gently forward, encouraging him to embrace life once more.

  “Ja,” he agreed. “We’ll come.”

  Chapter Nine

  “Oh, Rebecca, you look lovely.”

  Smoothing her wedding dress into place, Rebecca beamed. The turquoise shade looked amazing, accentuating her lightly tanned skin. The color also set off her wide green eyes, bringing out the flecks of gold in her irises.

  “I can’t believe the day is here,” she said with a wide smile. “In another hour, I’ll be a married woman.”

  “Time has just flown by,” Smiling, Amity helped her sister slip into her stiff white apron. She pulled the back together, then hooked the tabs that kept the apron closed and in place. Made to precise measurements, every fold fell perfectly around her slender figure. “Why it feels like it was just yesterday Caleb got baptized and proposed.”

  “It’s been the longest six months of my life.” Suddenly nervous, Rebecca wrung her hands. “I pray Caleb doesn’t regret marrying a barren woman.”

  Bent over the bed, Gail gave a sharp glance. “Hush! You know Caleb doesn’t feel that way at all.” Working with deft hands, she attempted to dress her toddler in a gown and pinafore.

  Jessica kicked her plump little legs in protest. “No-o-o-o, Mama!” Fussy and out of sorts, the youngie howled with displeasure.

  Rebecca’s smile wavered. “He said it doesn’t matter—” glancing down, she pressed her hands against her flat stomach “—but I’m hoping treatment for my condition will allow us to have our own.”

  “I’m praying Gott gives you a complete healing from your endometriosis.” Done with her chore, Gail scooped up her toddler. “She’s teething. Another broke through last night and she’s been miserable.” Pressing Jessica to her shoulder, she patted her back rhythmically.

  “Gah!” Shoving a fist into her mouth, Jessica gnawed at her fingers for relief. A thin line of saliva drizzled down her chin.

  Splayed in a nearby chair, Florene wrinkled her nose. “I don’t know why you’d want any,” she declared in a loud voice. “All babies do is cry and demand attention. A modern woman shouldn’t have to put up with these things.” Clad in an Englisch-style dress and heels, kinky bleached blonde hair covered her shoulders in a cascade. She’d made up her face, going heavy on eye shadow, blush and lipstick.

  Amity stiffened. Once again, their youngest sister had decided to reject her Amish upbringing. She rarely missed a chance to criticize or cut down the customs she perceived to be archaic and inferior. Her attitude had led to more than one disagreement. Everyone was tired of arguing. “What a terrible thing to say!” she admonished. “I guess you’ve forgotten you were little at one time, too.”

  Twirling a curl around her finger, Florene rolled her eyes. “I didn’t ask to be born.”

  “No, you didn’t. But here you are—always bringing your gloomy thunderclouds to block someone else’s sunshine.” Perturbed with her younger sister, Amity pressed her mouth flat. It took every ounce of self-control she possessed to keep her temper in check. Someone needs to put some sense in the silly girl’s head.

  Caught in the grip of rebellion, Florene hadn’t realized how destructive it was to herself and her familie. The Bible warned that such an action was a sin and that the disobedient would walk in a parched land. Gott would have to deal with Florene. No one else could.

  “It’s true kinder are hard work,” Gail declared, holding her little one close. “But they are a gift from the Lord.”

  “It’s not a sin not to have them.” Florene eyed Gail’s thickening waist. “I don’t intend to be tied down with a haus voll of crying babes.”

  Instead of taking offense, Gail returned a sympathetic smile. “No one’s forcing you to do anything you aren’t happy with,” she said softly. “If you don’t like being Amish, then don’t be. But don’t criticize those who embrace and honor the traditions of our church and community.”

  Florene stood. The chiffon dress she wore was cut well above her knees, giving a scandalous view of her bare legs. Her arms, too, were uncovered. It was inappropriate for an Amish wedding, but she’d insisted on wearing it.

  “Whatever.” Muttering something under her breath, she stalked toward the door. “I’m done with this argument. I’ll live my life as I see fit.” Throwing up a hand, she waved her fingers before disappearing.

  Visibly trembling, Rebecca blinked back tears. “Why does she have to criticize us all the time? Right now, I feel like everything I’ve ever wanted in my life is stupid and old-fashioned.”

  “Pay her no mind, liebling,” Amity said, attempting to soothe her sister’s addled nerves.

  Rebecca unexpectedly crumbled, blinking back tears. “I don’t want to do this.” She tugged at her apron, attempting to pull it off. “I can’t give Caleb the kinder he wants.”

  “Now, stop it!” Amity caught Rebecca’s hands before she tore through the clasps. “I’ve heard Caleb say time and time again that it doesn’t matter to him. Love is what makes a familie.”

  Rebecca sniffed. “What if he changes his mind?”

  “He won’t,” Amity said, tightening her grip. “That man is standing outside, dressed in his Sunday best, patiently waiting to marry you. He gave up everything Englisch to be with you. Because he loves you.”

  “And you love him,” Gail reminded her. “You told me yourself you fell for him the day he helped deliver Mary Reese’s boppli.”

  Rebecca stopped struggling. “Ja,” she admitted. “When we were fostering little Matthew, it felt like we were a familie. Caleb was so gut with him.”

  “When Gott sent Caleb, He truly answered the prayers of so many people,” Gail said. “The Bible says the Lord will perform extraordinary miracles. When He brought Caleb to Burr Oak, it was clear He intended to return him to his rightful place in our community. After witnessing that with your own eyes, how could you doubt there won’t be more blessings to come?”

  “You’re right.” Rebecca heaved a sigh. “I’m always letting doubt get the better of me. I wish I was as strong in the faith as you and Amity are.”

  “You are strong. You will make a wonderful ehefrau and mutter and Caleb will be beside you every step of the way. So will we.”

  “I just wish I knew what’s gotten into Florene. She was doing so well. Going to church and attending the women’s Bible study at the community center.”

  Gail’s expression grew shadowed. “I didn’t want to say anything because I knew it would upset you.”

  Rebecca stiffened. “What?”

  “She’s seeing Zane again,” Gail blurted.

  Amity’s insides twisted into knots. What was Florene thinking? Dating a man with a track record of abuse wasn’t a wise idea. Not at all. Zane was a predator. He relied on his father’s leverage to get away with his shenanigans, many of them illegal.

  “I’d hoped she’d learned her lesson after he got rough with her.”

  Gail shook her head. “I guess not,” she said, struggling to keep her composure. “Levi told me a couple of the hands saw her in town last week. She was in his car, and they were—” A blush crept into her face. “Intimate.”

  Rebecca’s mouth went into a flat line. “What can we do?”

  Gail looked between them. “I didn’t want to say anything, but Levi has decided to ask Florene to leave the ranch. He doesn’t want trouble. If Florene insists on being with Zane, she will have to move out. We can’t tolerate any more division in this haus.”

  “It’s exactly what the Bible says to do,” Rebecca agreed. “If a person stirs up division, we are to have nothing more to do with them.”

  Stomach clenching tighter, Amity pursed her lips. After her boyfriend had abused her, everyone prayed Florene would learn her lesson and stay away from the Englisch world. Instead, she was walking right back into the spider’s web. Picturing the two of them together was almost physically painful.

  “But is it the right thing to do?”

  Jessica began to wriggle in her mamm’s arms. “Ugh, Mama...”

  Gail lowered the little girl, holding her arms as the toddler attempted to balance on her tiny feet. “We’re not throwing Florene to the wolves. Levi will give her a chance to cut all ties with him.”

  “And if she refuses?”

  Gail gave them each a long look. “Today’s not the time to deal with it. Later, we’ll all sit down and hash it out.”

  The door opened. Elsbeth Hilty stuck her head in. “Rebecca, are you ready?” Serving as an attendant, Elsbeth was directing the arrangements as guests arrived.

  Rebecca kneaded her hands together. “Almost,” she said, attempting to put on a happy face. “I just need to put up my hair.”

  Elsbeth nodded. “Do hurry. Bishop Harrison’s here and everyone’s in place.”

  “How’s Caleb?”

  “I’ve never seen a happier man.”

  “I keep pinching myself, thinking it’s all a dream.”

  “It’s happening, honey,” Elsbeth chuckled.

  “I’ll let everyone know you’ll need a few more minutes.” Swinging Jessica to her hip with a grace born of practice, Gail headed downstairs.

  Rebecca immediately ran her hands through her long hair. “Oh, my. How do I handle this mess?”

  Amity reached for a brush. “Sit down. I’ll do your hair.”

  Rebecca sat. “Danke. My hands are shaking too hard to handle it.”

  “I’ll make it look nice,” Amity said as she moved to stand behind Rebecca’s chair. Brushing out the tangles, she pinned the thick strands into a neat bun. A starched white prayer kapp finished the simple style. “Done.”

  Rebecca rose, giving the mirror a fretful glance. Stray locks brushed her nape, accentuating her slender neck. She examined her reflection from every angle. “I’m so pale.”

  “Give your cheeks a pinch to add some color.”

  Rebecca obeyed. “How do I look?”

  Amity grinned. “I’ve never seen a prettier bride,” she declared, kissing her sister’s cheek.

  Rebecca smiled. “I hope you’re next.”

  Amity paused, reluctant to admit that probably wasn’t going to happen. “I already have so much,” she murmured. “It would be selfish to ask for more. I’m content with what the Lord has given me.”

  Rebecca gave her a long look. “Are you?”

  She forced a nod. “I am.” Brightening, she added, “I have a new pen pal.”

  Curious brows rose. “Do you?”

  “Ja. We’re...corresponding. I really like him.”

  “I’m so happy to hear that.” Rebecca reached out and grasped her hands, giving them a little squeeze. “I hope this one works out.”

  “Today isn’t the day to think about me,” Amity said, shaking her head. “It’s yours.” She glanced toward the clock on the bedtable. “And I hate to say it, but you’re late.”

  Rebecca managed a weak smile. “I’m so nervous.” Her grip tightened. “I think I’m going to faint.”

  Amity propped her up. “Oh, no, you don’t. You’re going to go downstairs and marry that man.” She opened the door, then propelled her nervous sibling down the stairs, through the kitchen and out the back door. Guests waited outside, shaded by tents set up in the yard.

  All eyes turned as they made their way inside. Everyone was in place, including the groom. Standing with his ministers, Bishop Harrison waited patiently to conduct the religious service.

  Handing Rebecca over to the care of her bridesmaids, Amity seated herself on a bench beside Levi. Sammy sat in his lap. To keep him quiet, Gail had given Sammy a cookie. Melted chocolate and crumbs stained his plump cheeks.

  Breathing a sigh of relief, she looked around. Familiar faces surrounded her. She’d invited Ethan but had yet to see him. It took a moment to find him in the crowd. Flanked by his daed on one side and his youngies on the other, he was dressed in his Sunday clothes. Hat in his lap, he’d tamed his unruly curls.

  Amity’s breath caught. Ethan looked quite handsome. Staring hard, she hardly noticed the nuptials had commenced. As the bishop spoke, Ethan’s eyes sparked with memory...and with longing.

  He looks so sad. So alone. He needs someone.

  Ethan suddenly turned his head. Their gazes collided. They regarded each other in silence. Acknowledging her, he offered a nod. His smile was relaxed. Sincere.

  Heart slamming hard, Amity immediately dropped her gaze. Heat crept into her cheeks. Refusing to look a second time, she primly folded her hands in her lap. No, no, no! Don’t look my way! Hardly daring to breathe, she tried desperately to crush the wayward thought. Where had it come from?

  She didn’t know.

  But it wouldn’t go away.

  * * *

  An Amish wedding ceremony was nearly as long as a regular Sunday church service. Through the last three hours, ministers preached lengthy sermons. Hymns were sung, before and after. Most everyone was getting fidgety by the time Bishop Harrison finally ended the ceremony. The happy couple beamed, looking forward to a bright future.

  Nuptials over, the celebration was just beginning. An afternoon reception would follow. Thankfully, the weather was mild. The day was clear, but not unseasonably warm. Guests were shaded by the tents and ring of study oaks circling the back lawn. Ice chests stocked with bottled water and other popular beverages were open to anyone needing a cool drink.

  Aching to stretch his legs, Ethan waited for the crowd to thin a bit before standing. He’d only met Rebecca once or twice. The groom, not at all. When he had a chance, he’d step up and wish them well.

  “Are we staying?” Liam asked.

  “Oh, can we?” Charity asked.

  “Why not?” Daed said, chiming in with his request.

  The barrage caught Ethan short. He’d intended to depart right after the ceremony. A glance at the crowd changed his mind. He recognized more faces than he thought he would, both adults and their youngies. No one was ready to go home.

  He winced. Leaving Oklahoma to move to Burr Oak had already upended their entire lives. They’d lost familie, friends and everything familiar. Shoved into a small apartment and put to work in the kaffeeshop, no one had the chance to kick up their heels.

  That was his fault. One he intended to rectify. Staying would give his kinder a chance to socialize with other Amish kids.

  “Ja,” he said. “We will.”

  Liam’s mouth split into a grin. “Oh, cool. I’ve been wanting to see the new mustangs Seth told me about. He said they’re going to start training them to be cattle horses. Levi said I could help break them in once I got started at the ranch.”

  Ethan looked at his sohn. Since his arrest, Liam had worked hard to rehabilitate himself. Dressed in a white shirt covered by a black vest and matching trousers, the teen had abandoned the buzz cut favored by his Englisch friends. The zigzag design was slowly disappearing as his hair grew out. Liam had also followed through on his promise. After paying the repair bill on his bike, he’d given it to Charity. Their move was close to done, and Liam would soon be out on the range herding cattle.

 

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