A LOT of WEIRD STUFF happens at our school. But this was DIFFERENT. Because we knew that THIS could be the END OF EVERYTHING. And it had to do with loads of NEW PUPILS and the FAKEST SMILES EVER and EVIL BLAZERS.

  But it was when we heard them chanting in a SECRET LANGUAGE that we KNEW things were

  going to be the same at our school EVER AGAIN.

  And we probably should have realised that the SECOND all the new pupils MARCHED into our school because, like my friend Zach says, NO ONE should be able to sing THAT loud.

  But it was when one of us went DEEP UNDERCOVER that things got OUT OF CONTROL. Because we didn’t KNOW that sometimes when you go undercover you can go TOO DEEP and NEVER come back…

  When we got to school on Monday something

  was going on. The teachers were NOWHERE to be seen and Gary Petrie was doing highland dancing on top of the old bike shed, shouting, “Come up and join me if you think you’re hard enough!” and no one was even trying to stop him.

  I was just about to say we should probably go and fetch someone before Gary fell off and broke both his legs when we heard a SCREAM coming from the school office.

  We RAN over to see what had happened and that’s when we saw that the office ladies were all on the phones SHOUTING about something.

  One of them spotted us standing there so I started to ask what the SCREAM was about but that’s when she pulled a little curtain over the glass window really fast, even though I was MID-SENTENCE. (And I never even knew that there WAS a little curtain!)

  Then, all of a sudden, loads of teachers came rushing down the corridor towards us and they started knocking on the head teacher’s door really hard and they looked

  We all watched as the door opened just a little bit and then an ARM came out and put a sign on the door. And then the arm disappeared and the door shut really quickly.

  I looked at Jodi and Jodi looked at Zach and Zach looked at Maisie but Maisie’s eyes had gone all swirly because the sign said:

  We had

  what was going on because the last time there was a TEACHERS-ONLY emergency assembly was when one of the Year 2s got stuck in the basketball cupboard for half a day because no one could find the key. And we all thought that he was going to have to LIVE IN THERE and drink water and soup through the KEYHOLE with a STRAW for the rest of his life. But a FIRE ENGINE had come and the fire brigade broke down the door with an AXE and we all got an

  afternoon break.

  So I said that we should check to see if someone had got stuck inside the basketball cupboard, but Jodi grabbed my arm and said, “No. This is something else. This is SERIOUS.”

  And she was RIGHT because the teachers looked MUCH more upset than they had about the Year 2 pupil and Mr Beattie even looked like he was going to cry!

  And that’s when Jodi’s eyes went WIDE and she said, “The Den. Now. RUN!”

  So we ran.

  We ran along the corridor to The Den (which is our secret place under the stairs that go up to the boys’ toilets). But when we got to the end of the corridor there was another SCREAM and the staffroom door FLEW open and MORE teachers came RUSHING out.

  Jodi stuck her arms out to the side and PINNED me and Maisie against the wall and yelled, “BREATHE IN!” And we did because we were scared we were going to get TRAMPLED TO DEATH.

  I shut my eyes TIGHT as all the teachers ran past us and I could actually feel WIND in my face – that’s how fast they were running.

  Once the teachers had passed, Jodi said, “CLEAR,” and dropped her arms, and that’s when I let out my breath and when Maisie slid down the wall and on to the floor because she’d fainted.

  We got down on our hands and knees and put Maisie in the RECOVERY POSITION. We know how to do that because Maisie faints a LOT when she gets scared and when she wakes up she always needs a RIBENA or a TWIX or sometimes BOTH if she’s had a really big shock.

  But then Jodi GASPED and yelled,

  At first I thought she was talking about Maisie but then I looked and saw that ZACH was curled up in a ball against the wall!

  We rushed over and asked if he was OK, and that’s when Zach uncurled himself and blinked LOADS and said, “I don’t know. I think so. What’s HAPPENING?!”

  I looked at Jodi and she looked at me and then she said, “Change of plan. There’s no time to get to The Den. We need to get to the emergency assembly NOW.”

  So I reminded Jodi that the assembly was for TEACHERS ONLY.

  And that’s when Jodi stood up and put her hands on her hips and said, “The rules no longer apply!”

  And I GASPED and so did Zach because Jodi only says that in EXTREMELY SERIOUS situations, like the time we had to hold Maisie’s head up and pretend that she hadn’t fainted when she definitely HAD because you are not allowed to go on the Ghost Train if you have fainted, even if you’ve waited in the queue for over an hour.

  So anyway, Zach got up and we all picked Maisie up by the legs and arms and we ran all the way to the assembly hall.

  It was

  when we got to the hall.

  The assembly had already started and all the teachers were SHOUTING OUT even though we are NOT ALLOWED to shout out in assembly and Mr Graves was telling everyone to

  Then one of the dinner ladies actually CLIMBED up on to the stage and GRABBED the microphone out of Mr Graves’s hand and yelled, “UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE WE ARE ON STRIKE!”

  Then she dropped the microphone on to the floor and LEAPED off the stage and all the dinner ladies cheered and started BANGING their ICE-CREAM SCOOPS on the serving trays.

  I looked at Jodi and she said something but I couldn’t hear what it was because of all the NOISE.

  Mr Graves bent down and picked up the microphone and said, “PLEASE STOP THAT BANGING.”

  So the dinner ladies stopped. And then they reached up and SLAMMED their metal shutters down.

  Zach

  and said, “What are we going to eat at lunchtime? I’m STARVING!”

  I had

  what we were going to eat for lunch if the dinner ladies were all on STRIKE, but I knew that that was probably the LEAST of our problems because it was only 9 a.m. And also because something BAD was obviously happening but we just didn’t know WHAT yet.

  Then one of the teachers stood up on a chair and yelled, “We have to do something! We’re all at RISK!”

  And then loads of the other teachers started shouting out at the same time and Mr Graves looked like he was going to be sick.

  Jodi grabbed my arm and SQUEEZED and I knew that she did it because Miss Ross had just said that we were all AT RISK.

  And that’s when Mr Graves said,

  And then one of the other teachers said, “They deserve to know! This affects them too!”

  And that’s when Jodi gasped and said, “THIS IS NOT A DRILL!”

  And I felt a bit dizzy but I just took a deep breath and nodded.

  Because that is our CODE for when something is SERIOUSLY WRONG.

  The next day Mr Graves called us all to an assembly and told us that ANOTHER school was going to be joining OUR school and that we were going to be

  We were all in SHOCK when he said that and we just sat with our mouths WIDE OPEN because none of us knew what to say because it didn’t make any sense!

  Then Mr Graves took a deep breath and asked us if we had any questions and ALL the teachers put their hands up and Mr Graves closed his eyes and took a deep breath and said, “Questions from the PUPILS.”

  But Mr Killington kept his hand up in the air and his face looked a bit like it was going to

  if Mr Graves didn’t pick him!

  That’s when one of the Year 6s put up their hand and asked which school was going to be joining us, and Mr Graves took another deep breath and said, “St Balthazar’s Primary School.”

  And as SOON as he said that we all

  I looked at Jodi and she looked at me but neither of us said anything because we were in

  And we were in

  because St Balthazar’s and our school are

  Zach grabbed my arm and said, “This can’t happen. We can’t let this happen. They’re

  And I nodded loads.

  All the teachers had started whispering to each other and Miss Jones even looked a bit scared!

  Then another Year 6 asked how many pupils would be coming to our school and everyone went SILENT and Mr Graves looked nervous.

  We all watched as Mr Graves took a bit of paper out of his folder and said, “Um. Well, I just got the information this morning and I’ve not had a chance to share it with the staff or your parents yet. And at the moment the numbers are changing daily… But … um … the number today is one hundred and two.”

  And that’s when the teachers went

  and started YELLING at Mr Graves about CLASSROOM SIZES and RESOURCES and CHAIRS and Mr Killington actually got up and shouted, “I’m going home!” And then he WALKED OUT.

  Everyone GASPED, especially the Year 6s, because Mr Killington is THEIR teacher so that meant that they had NO TEACHER.

  Loads of the Year 6s got up and ran over to the window and yelled, “He’s really leaving! He’s getting in his car!”

  Then some of the Year 6 girls started crying and hugging each other and the teachers kept shouting and Mr Graves kept trying to calm everyone down. And it was

  But then suddenly everyone went quiet because we could all hear something.

  And it sounded a bit like MARCHING.

  Mr Graves gasped and whispered, “They’re here. Save us all.”

  And I knew that we weren’t supposed to hear him say that and that he’d forgotten he was standing in front of a microphone!

  I looked at Jodi and she had Zach’s phone in her hand and I could see that she’d already dialled

  and that she had her finger hovering over the CALL BUTTON.

  I could feel myself starting to

  as the marching got LOUDER and LOUDER because I just KNEW that it was THEM.

  Mr Graves tried to say something into the microphone but his voice came out all high and weird. So he cleared his throat and then he said, “Children. Would you please welcome the St Balthazar’s School Choir. They’re going to do a performance for us to mark the wonderful occasion of two schools coming together!”

  And then he RAN off the stage.

  We all sat STUNNED in TOTAL SILENCE as rows and rows of pupils with BLAZERS and SUPER-SHINY SHOES marched into the hall and up the little steps on to the stage.

  Then they stopped suddenly and turned to us and smiled

  at EXACTLY the same time and everyone GASPED, even the teachers, and Maisie gripped my hand so tight I almost screamed!

  Then, all of a sudden, they BURST out singing REALLY LOUD and everyone GASPED because it sounded

  and Maisie’s head fell into my lap because she’d fainted INSTANTLY and Jodi pressed “CALL” on Zach’s phone and held it up in the air so the POLICE could hear.

  Once the police had left and Maisie had gone off with the school nurse, Mr Graves gave me and Jodi and Zach a TALK about how we should NEVER call the police unless it was an ACTUAL EMERGENCY.

  So that’s when Jodi explained that it WAS

  and that the singing had been so TERRIFYING that two of the Year 1s had been physically SICK.

  That’s when Mr Graves sighed and rubbed his face for ages and said, “Just go back to class. We’ll talk about this later.”

  So we ran out because we HATE being sent to the head teacher’s office. My dad says that if we hate it so much then we should try NOT doing the things that get us sent there. But that doesn’t really make much sense because we’re only ever trying to SAVE our school. And I think that in the future when we’re all old (like about thirty or something) we are actually going to star in a film or a DOCUMENTARY about how AMAZINGLY USEFUL we were.

  So anyway, we ran to see the nurse before we went to class to see if Maisie had woken up yet and if she was OK and if we could take her back to class. But the nurse said that Maisie needed to stay and rest.

  We asked if we could see her but the nurse said no.

  So I shouted,

  But then the nurse shut the door so we didn’t get to hear Maisie’s reply.

  When we got to the classroom we BURST through the door. And then we FROZE. And Zach GASPED. Because there were FOUR NEW PUPILS sitting at our table. And they were sitting in OUR seats!

  We had

  what to do so we just stood there STARING at them and they STARED back at us and it was OBVIOUS that they didn’t even CARE that they’d stolen our seats! Then Miss Jones came over and told us to sit on the floor and not make a “FUSS” about it. Which I thought was a bit unfair because we hadn’t even said ONE WORD, so it was like we were getting told off for something we hadn’t even DONE yet!

  Then Miss Jones said, “Everyone, I know this isn’t ideal.”

  And then she laughed a bit to herself (which was weird because it wasn’t funny and also because her laugh didn’t sound ANYTHING like her normal laugh).

  I looked at Jodi and Jodi looked at me because it was obvious Miss Jones was

  Then Miss Jones cleared her throat and stopped laughing and said, “There obviously isn’t enough space for everyone at the moment. But as soon as we open up the Old Wing, we’ll have plenty of room.”

  That’s when we all looked at each other and Gary Petrie shouted, “WHAT?”

  And Miss Jones told him off for shouting out.

  So Gary Petrie put his hand up and said,

  And Miss Jones closed her eyes for a second and then she opened them and said, “I said, we’re opening up the Old Wing, Gary.”

  And Gary Petrie said, “That old bit next to the boys’ toilets? But it’s all boarded up!”

  I turned to Jodi and whispered, “That’s where The Den is!”

  And Jodi nodded loads.

  That’s when Miss Jones explained that there were actually FOUR EXTRA CLASSROOMS in the Old Wing and that it had been closed off for years to save money on electricity and carpets because we didn’t need the space.

  And then she said, “But now that we’re

  we can put those classrooms to good use.”

  Everyone was

  and LOADS of people kept putting their hands up and asking questions about the

  in the Old Wing and if the classrooms were better than ours and how LONG it had been shut for and if there were was anything ELSE in there.

  But Miss Jones said that she didn’t know and that it had been CLOSED OFF since before she was a teacher.

  That’s when one of the new pupils sitting at our old table put his hand up and Miss Jones said, “Yes. Zavier, isn’t it? Am I pronouncing that correctly?”

  We all turned around and looked at Zavier.

  Zavier smiled and said, “Yes, Miss. We can’t wait for the new wing to open. And for our old teachers to get here. We’re all going to be one big happy family!”

  And then he gave Miss Jones a

  But Miss Jones didn’t smile back. Well, she did a bit but it wasn’t like her normal smile and she looked like she had a pain somewhere.

  I looked at Jodi and her eyes were WIDE and I knew that it was because the NEW PUPILS already KNEW about the

  Miss Jones started the lesson but I couldn’t concentrate because Zach kept turning around and looking over at our old table and he had a REALLY WEIRD look on his face.

  Then he leaned over to me and whispered, “Do you notice anything about the new pupils at our table?”

  So I turned round and looked. I couldn’t see it at first but then, JUST as I was about to turn back, I realised something that made me

  One of the new girls sitting at our table looked like Jodi! She even had the same HAIR BOBBLE in her hair!

  I looked at Zach and whispered, “She looks like Jodi!”

  Zach nodded loads and then he said, “Did you notice anything else?”

  So I turned round and looked again and that’s when I noticed that Zavier looked a bit like Zach but with shorter hair.

  I looked at Zach and said, “This is weird.”

  And that’s when Zach nodded and said, “It’s about to get even WEIRDER… Look at the girl sitting in YOUR seat!”

  So I turned round again but I couldn’t see her properly because she had her back to us. But then she moved.

  And I actually GASPED.

  And Zach did a GULP.

  She was staring RIGHT AT US.

  And she looked EXACTLY LIKE ME!

  I turned my head away REALLY FAST and I actually covered my eyes with my HANDS because I was

 

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