Rebels and Roses, page 9
“Yeah, do it. And thanks.”
Tate stood, placing his napkin on the table and clearing his throat.
“Folks, this has been a great evening, but I’m afraid we’re going to have to wrap it up. I have an early appointment tomorrow, and we’re going to need these tables as the evening rush should be arriving soon.”
Frankie yawned loudly, her hand over her mouth.
“It is getting late, isn’t it? The food was fantastic as always, big brother.”
Lucy and Jane immediately stood, gathering their purses, and saying good night. Cooper wanted to stop Jane and talk to her, but frankly, he didn’t know what to say. The entire night had been a clusterfuck of massive proportions.
Tom and his date wandered over to a quiet booth in the corner, swaying on their feet and giggling. The server began to clear the table while Tate was behind the bar checking in the bartender.
“Let’s have another drink.”
Was Fiona serious? Another drink?
“I think you’ve had enough. I know I have.”
“You’re so mean to me sometimes,” Fiona pouted, her lower lip stuck out. “I’m just trying to have some fun here. When did you become such a stick in the mud?”
“Around about the time I turned thirty. Getting so drunk I can’t walk or talk doesn’t appeal to me anymore. Not that it did all that much back then either.”
He’d drank and partied his share, but he’d never been a booze hound. He liked to stay in control as much as possible. He hadn’t really remembered how much Fiona could knock them back. She could hold her liquor, too, if she didn’t go overboard. But after six, seven, or eight drinks, just about anybody was going to feel it.
“Don’t leave me alone,” she pleaded, tugging at his shirt sleeve. “Just one more drink. Then we’ll go.”
“Fine. One more drink. Promise?”
“I promise.”
She made a show of crossing her heart, bringing attention to her blouse that now was unbuttoned even further than it had been at the beginning of the evening.
The two of them moved to another table off to the side. Fiona wanted to order more tequila shots, but Cooper immediately turned that idea down. She was welcome to, but he wasn’t going to join in.
“Doing shots alone is no fun. I’ll have another glass of merlot.”
He signaled for the server and put in their order.
“You’re mixing grain and grape tonight. You may regret it in the morning,” he warned.
I sound like someone’s dad.
“That’s what ibuprofen is for,” Fiona replied, waving away his concern. “Besides, alcohol never bothers me. You know that.”
When they’d been married, she’d shown amazing resilience after a long night of drinking and dancing.
“I guess I’m the only one getting older.”
“You look fine to me,” she said, placing her hand on his thigh and giving it a squeeze. “You look really good, babe. Really, really good. Why did we break up again? I can’t seem to remember.”
“We made each other miserable. And I remember.”
“Not all the time.”
Her fingers brushed his crotch once and then again. She didn’t have any new moves. He’d seen these before. Shifting in his chair so he was turned toward her, he gave her a shake of his head.
“We’re not going there, Fi. That was a long time ago.”
“Since when do you turn a woman down?” she teased, this time running her fingers down his arm, the nails scraping slightly against his skin.
At one point, that would have turned him on, but he didn’t feel anything when he looked at her. Not anymore. If anything, he was wondering what he’d ever seen in her. Had she acted like this back then? He didn’t think so. This was…different. He couldn’t quite put his finger on how her behavior had changed, but she never would have been this obvious. That wasn’t her game at all.
“Most of the time,” he replied, brushing her hand off his arm. “Let’s face it. We weren’t good together. Let’s leave it in the past where we still have some good memories. I don’t want to ruin it.”
Her eyes narrowed as her gaze raked him from head to toe.
“Since when did you get squeamish about a little fun in the sheets? Usually, your cock is hard and ready for action twenty-four-seven.” Her gaze dropped to his lap, and then her eyes widened comically. “Oh…do you have a…problem?”
His only problem was that his ex-wife was sitting next to him instead of thousands of miles away. And her brother was only a few feet, as well. It wasn’t the most erotic setting he’d ever been in.
“No.”
“I’ve always loved your silent, tough guy attitude,” Fiona laughed, taking a gulp from the glass the server had just placed in front of her. “You’ve always been the cool macho type.”
“I guess I don’t have much to say.”
“You were too busy putting your words on paper to talk to me.”
“You’re not wrong,” he conceded. “I can be a selfish asshole when I’m working on a book.”
“Does your family still not know? I didn’t mention it because they didn’t.”
“I’ll tell them eventually.”
“You should tell them now,” Fiona said, knocking back the rest of her wine and slapping the glass on the table. He hadn’t even touched his beer. “What would your daddy say?”
“I don’t know, and I don’t care.”
“You care. You want his approval,” she said with a giggle. Jesus, she was drunk. “You’ve always wanted his approval.”
“Whatever you say. Your drink is done. Are you ready to go now?”
“Sure. Okay, if you’re going to be this way.”
Fiona reached for her purse, fumbling with the closure before pulling out a tube of lipstick.
“Where am I taking you? Did you get a room at the inn?”
She looked up from her compact, another laugh escaping from her now red lips.
“Baby, I don’t have a room. I’m staying with you and Tom.”
“You are not staying at my place,” Cooper replied between gritted teeth.
“Why not? We’ve shared a bed thousands of times.”
“We’re not doing it tonight.” He leaned forward so their faces were close. He wanted her to see that he wasn’t fucking around here. “You need to get on a plane tomorrow morning. You and Tom. I’ll drive you myself.”
“I’ll leave whenever I want,” she said breezily, laughing in his face. “I kind of like it here, and I need to keep an eye on Tom. Besides, you’re not the boss of me anymore. I do what I want.”
Fucking hell. Fiona Kemp thought she was going to get her way.
She was going to be surprised. He wasn’t playing her games.
He’d changed the rules.
“I’m sorry.”
Jane didn’t know what was going on, but she didn’t ask too many questions. Yet. She simply stepped back so that Cooper could enter her apartment.
He looked exhausted, dark circles under his eyes. His shoulders drooped slightly, and his hair was almost standing on end as if he’d scraped his fingers through it dozens of times.
“Should I pour you a whiskey?”
He started to nod yes but then shook his head.
“I shouldn’t drink anymore.”
“Coffee? Soft drink?”
He’d always said that caffeine had no effect on him. He could sleep no matter what. Not that he was here for that.
“A soft drink would be nice. Do you still have some ginger ale?”
“I do. Let me get it.”
Jane had already quickly showered and changed into her pajamas which were comprised of a pair of panties and an oversized t-shirt emblazoned with the Winslow University mascot - an owl. Padding on bare feet into her kitchen, she poured him a drink and then handed it to him.
He hadn’t moved from his spot near the door. He’d just stood there watching her but saying nothing.
“Why don’t you sit down?”
She’d never seen him quite this way. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t happy. Those were easy to decipher. What she saw in his eyes tonight… Whatever it was, he hadn’t shown it to her before.
He sat down on her couch, took a sip from the glass, and then set it on the coaster on her end table.
“I’m sorry,” he said again.
“Why don’t I sit down here with you, and you can tell me just what you’re sorry for.”
“Everything,” he said as she settled on the cushion next to him.
Not touching him, but close enough that they could if one of them reached out only a little bit.
“That’s a wide expanse. Can you be more specific?”
“We can start with the clusterfuck that was the dinner tonight.”
Ah yes, that had been one strange evening. Jane couldn’t remember spending that much time feeling awkward unless she counted the eighth-grade dance when the guy she liked showed up with another girl.
“I agree that it wasn’t the most fabulous dinner I’ve attended.”
“I don’t want back with my ex-wife.”
Frustration. It was in his tone. That’s what she was seeing in his expression. She hadn’t recognized it because he was usually so laidback. Only when he was talking about his father did Cooper seem tense.
“I’m glad to hear that. She does seem like a handful.”
Groaning, his head fell back onto the cushions, so he was staring at the ceiling.
“You don’t know the half of it. I’m also sorry for showing up here so late and without calling. I didn’t want to go home because Tom’s probably there. I didn’t know where else to go, and somehow, I ended up here.”
Her heart squeezed painfully at his simple words. When it all sucked, he’d come to her. She shouldn’t see too much into that, but it still made her feel something deep in her gut. He’d trusted her with his book, and now he’d trusted her to be a safe space he could go to when it all seemed to be too much.
“I’m glad you came over. I wasn’t in bed yet. I was studying a little bit with the television as background noise.”
“I still shouldn’t be bothering you.”
He made no move to leave, however.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not particularly. Unless you need me to.”
“Nope, just wanted to check. Do you want to watch something on television? I was watching a baking show, but I can turn something else on.”
“This is fine.”
They sat there for several minutes watching the chatty lady on television make chicken parmesan.
“I dropped Fiona at the Winslow Inn.”
Okay, he wanted to talk now. Jane hit the mute button on the remote and turned so she could see his face.
“Do you feel guilty about that?”
“A little. She was drunk, as you saw before you left with Lucy. I made sure she got upstairs to her room, but then I left her there. Told her to get some sleep, and I’d see her in the morning. She wanted to stay at my place, but I said no.”
“Was she upset about that?”
Jane was trying to keep her questions neutral.
“Madder than a wet hen. She bitched at me the entire way to the inn, while I checked her in, and while I unlocked her room with the key card. She was yelling at me when I left. I told her that she needed to be quieter as she was going to wake everyone up.”
“Was she? Quieter, I mean?”
“No, she walked out into the hallway and screamed that Cooper Winslow was a total asshole.”
“Oh.”
And Cooper had married this woman.
“I doubt anyone was shocked by that revelation. Most people think the Winslows are assholes.”
“I don’t think that they do,” Jane denied. “Maybe your dad…but not you or your siblings.”
“You’re wondering how I ended up married to her.”
“I’m not.”
“Liar,” Cooper laughed. “You have to be thinking it, because I’m thinking it too.”
“Have you come to any conclusions?”
“Lust,” Cooper replied. “Optimism. Also, I just don’t think that Fiona was this bad before. Sure, she had her moments, but tonight she was extra special nasty. She’d always been a happy person when she drank too much. She wanted to dance and party. I don’t remember her being angry or bitter.”
“People change.”
“They do,” he conceded. “I have. She has. Tom has. I’m sorry that you had to deal with it tonight. I really am.”
“Hey, it was a free meal,” Jane replied, keeping her tone lighthearted. “Tate’s is always good food.”
“You’re being nicer than I deserve.”
“I don’t think I am,” Jane argued. “If I thought this was all your fault, I wouldn’t hesitate to call you out.”
“You would, wouldn’t you?” he laughed, a real smile on his face this time. “You’d give me shit in a heartbeat. That’s why I like you. You take no crap from me or anyone. I respect that.”
“Thank you.”
“I knew tonight was going to be a shitshow, but I didn’t realize how bad it would be. If I’d known—”
He broke off then, shaking his head.
“I was just about to lie,” he went on. “I was going to say that I would have told you not to be there, but that’s not true. I wanted you to be there. I like it when you’re around.”
That pain in her heart was back again, letting her know in no uncertain terms that she was in far too deep.
“I like it when you’re around, too.”
“Except tonight. Fiona was hanging all over me in front of you. I know we don’t have any expectations of one another, but we do expect that we’re not screwing around with anyone else. Believe me, I’m not getting with my ex.”
“It looked like she wants you back,” Jane confessed.
“She just wants me to want her. It’s not any deeper than that. She likes to play games.”
They were silent again for a long moment. Jane didn’t say anything, understanding without words that he needed to work things over in his mind.
“I feel guilty for more than just dropping Fiona off at the inn tonight.”
His confession broke the silence between them, but she still didn’t respond. She wasn’t sure she was even supposed to, to be honest. Some instinct inside of her was whispering in her ear that Cooper needed to be heard. He needed a kind and patient friend.
“Since seeing her again—Shit, I don’t know. It feels like she’s still frozen in time, back where we left off. I think I’ve moved on, but she keeps bringing up the past. We had good times; I won’t deny that. We traveled and had adventures together. But I don’t live there anymore. I’m in the here and now. I don’t think that she is.”
“Cooper,” Jane said softly, placing her hand on his. “That’s not your fault. If she hasn’t moved on from the past, that’s on her.”
“Why does it feel like it’s my fault that she never grew up?”
“Because you’re a nice man.”
He was shaking his head, but she wasn’t going to let him deny it.
“You’re a good person,” Jane pressed. “You’re the type of man who wants to do good in the world and help people. Even though you don’t love your ex-wife anymore, you want to help her because you think she’s stuck. That’s a normal response. Listen, I don’t know Fiona at all, but I do know others that have the same issue. You can’t help them. They have to help themselves. Honestly, if she gets comfort from living in her memories, I’m not sure trying to get her to stop is a wise move. There may be a good reason she doesn’t like the present. Or the future. We don’t always see what someone is going through. You don’t know what’s going on in her life. Be her friend. Treat her kindly.”
“You’re a good person.”
His voice was deep and rich, and her heart tripped as the words wrapped around her like a warm blanket on a chilly night. What was it about this man that made her forget everything she’d learned in her now-defunct marriage? Trusting Cooper would be foolish, but at moments like this, he didn’t make it easy.
He turned his hand so their fingers were laced together. The mere touch of his skin could set her on fire, images of them wrapped together intimately, crowding her brain, making it hard to concentrate.
Down, girl. This is not the time.
“I think you’ve had a tough few days,” she said. “Your past has come visiting, and you weren’t prepared. I think you’ve handled it pretty well, if I’m honest.”
“I haven’t been as nice as I could have.”
“You’ve let Tom stay in your apartment. That’s pretty nice.”
“True, but I’ve been busting his balls about leaving and going back to handle his business.”
“I think most people would have done the same. He can’t hide here forever. Or I guess he can, but it sounds like a lousy idea. Eventually, he’ll have to deal with it all.”
“That’s what I told him when he asked my advice.”
“It sounds like good advice.”
“Honey, I don’t think I’m qualified to be giving anyone life or love advice. What the hell do I know?”
“More than you think.”
“You know things,” Cooper said, turning toward her as his other hand cupped her cheek. “You’d be good at advice. I’m sorry that I’m here whining about my life. I guess—”
Cooper broke off, his gaze skittering away.
“You guess what?” she prompted.
Jane held her breath. This moment was different than so many before. She couldn’t put her finger on how, but she only knew that the tension that had suddenly risen was real. Yet, it wasn’t awkward or strange. It felt like it was supposed to be there in some sort of good way, like their emotions had reached out to one another and touched. The tension wasn’t between them, however; it was around them like a cocoon, sheltering them from whatever was outside of this moment on her couch.
“I wanted you there tonight,” he finally said. “I wanted to be here with you tonight. I just want you with me.”
She had questions after a declaration like that. So many questions, but she didn’t get to ask any of them.
