Lumberjacked, page 19
“Oh right,” she smiled. “I thought you took a class or something.”
“They told us how to breathe, but not how to deliver the baby…we were kinda hoping the doctor would be here for that.”
“Oh god, you’re having a baby,” she moaned and clutched my hand. “A baby! My best friend is going to be a mommy!”
“And an excellent mommy at that,” Penny’s voice trailed ahead of her. “So where are we at?”
She walked into the room and pulled a chair up to my bedside. I told her everything the nurses had told me and she narrowed her eyes. “Since this is your first, it might take longer but I suspect this baby will be here in the next three or four hours.”
“No, Aaron can’t get a flight until later this evening, he has to be here now,” I wailed and felt myself start to break under the pressure of not having my husband by my side. I was facing the greatest challenge of my life and I needed him.
“Damn,” Penny cursed under her breath. “Why did you let him go today?”
“I thought I had a week, and everybody always says first babies go late so we thought we’d have more time,” I said, fighting the tears.
“True, I’m sorry dear, I’m more frustrated that he might miss this event than I am at you.”
She held my hand and looked at me, I managed to hold in my tears just because I didn’t want to cry in front of my mother in law. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and said, “He’ll make it. He’s Aaron, he’ll get here in time.”
“I know,” she replied, “he will.”
Melanie got up and stood near the window watching the street down below. It felt like we were in the middle of this delivery, my contractions were getting stronger and closer together, but nothing was going to happen for a while it seemed.
“I had Axel stop by the nurses station to get some ice chips,” Penny told me. “You might not need them now, but once things start progressing, you’ll want something to crunch on and it keeps you hydrated.”
“Axel is here? When did he get into town?” I asked.
“A few days ago,” she said, “he was working on something with your dad, I think they were in Asia.”
“Oh that’s right,” I replied and shut my eyes again. “It’s nice he’s going to be here to meet the newest Remington.”
“That’s exactly why I’m here,” he said as he walked in. I opened my eyes to find Aaron’s youngest brother in the flesh in front of me.
“Why as I live and breathe,” I replied in a fake southern accent and smiled. He handed Penny a bucket of ice and stood near the end of the bed.
“I couldn’t stay in LA knowing you’re going to be pushing out the next little bundle of grumpy joy,” he told me. “Besides, I was dying to see if the baby is born with a full beard.”
“Won’t that be awkward if it’s a girl?” Melanie laughed by her place at the window.
“Oh, hey,” Axel said, glancing over at her. I watched her tense up and turn towards him. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”
“Hey there, ED boy,” Melanie said sarcastically. “I’m here for my friend.”
“ED?” Penny asked me, picking up on the obvious tension between the two.
“Erectile dysfunction,” I whispered. “Because of Axel’s commercial.”
“Oh, that’s right,” Penny giggled.
“ED? That’s rich, coming from a spoiled princess,” Axel replied, furrowing his brows. “I’m sorry I had to start working at the bottom, I didn’t have Reagan to pave my way.”
“Reagan didn’t pave anything, I worked just as hard as you to get to my place in the industry, you know,” Melanie spat back.
Something had happened between the two of them, I was sure of it. Melanie had given Axle work a while back and they seemed to get along, but this tension was new and it was obvious.
But I was too tired and stressed to care just then.
“Can you two take your little spat outside?” Penny hissed and squeezed my hand. “Reagan is in labor here.”
“I’m sorry,” Axel said and looked me up and down. He turned back to Melanie and held out his hand. “Truce? For Reagan’s sake?”
“And the baby,” Melanie replied and they shook on it.
It didn’t completely dissolve what was going on between them, but I was grateful they were putting it on the back burner for now.
Still I couldn’t help but wonder why Melanie hadn’t told me about her and Alex. I’d have to corner her and find out after the baby was born.
About an hour later I was wracked with horrible contractions, and the nurses were starting to talk about getting the doctor in and prepping me for delivery. Aaron was still a few hours away from returning, so I started to panic.
“We can’t have this baby until my husband gets here,” I informed them, trying to keep the edge of anxiety out of my voice. “We have to wait.”
One of the nurses hid her smile and told me, “Sweetie, this baby is coming on its own schedule, I’m sorry if he isn’t here to catch it, but that’s nature for you.”
“He’ll make it,” Penny said and squeezed my hand again.
I felt desperation creep into my mind and I tried not to let it take over, but my body quaked with another contraction, the worst one yet, and I knew the baby was closer than ever.
“Oh god, please let him get here,” I moaned and rode the wave of pain. “I can’t do this alone.”
“You’re not alone,” Melanie said, sitting down on the other side of the bed, opposite of Penny.
I knew I had family and friends with me, but it wasn’t the same. I needed my rock, the one person in the world who knew me almost as much as I knew myself. The one person who loved this baby as much as me and was going to be as excited as I was to meet the littlest Remington.
This baby was a symbol of our love and represented our future together as a family, and I needed him with me.
God I needed him.
The contractions continued to get stronger and closer together and our doctor showed up, ready to start working on the delivery, and I completely lost it.
I was crying and sobbing and trying to push, but giving up all hope without Aaron there to help me make it through. It felt wrong to bring our child into the world without him there.
I hated how out of control I felt, crying and sobbing in front of everybody in the room, but I couldn’t help myself.
I was out of control. Without my bedrock, my anchor, my steady hand and love of my life, I was out of control.
“Hang in there, sweetie,” Penny told me and leaned over to brush my hair off my forehead. I was sweating like mad and the pain was driving me half crazy. “You’ve got this, everything is going to be all right.”
“Did anyone hear from Aaron?” Melanie asked and hovered over me on the other side of the bed.
“I’ll go ask Axel,” Penny replied and let my hand go to search for Axel, who had been chased out of the room by my cries of pain of one of the nurses, I wasn’t sure.
“Where is he?” I moaned and held onto Melanie’s hand as another contraction bore down on me and I felt myself fading into the pain, almost losing consciousness.
“We don’t know,” she said quietly.
I heard a steady thrumming in my head, and I worried it was my blood pressure from the great stress I was experiencing. It grew louder in my head, a throbbing tick tick tick somewhere in my ears.
“Do you hear that?” I asked as the pain receded and I became aware again. “That weird ticking sound?”
“That’s not ticking,” Melanie said, “it’s just a helicopter. I think they’re landing on the roof. Probably a mining camp emergency or something.”
“Probably,” I said and felt another contraction building up inside of me, deep in the pit of my stomach, threatening to rip me to shreds.
I bored down and let it flood my brain with sharp points of pain. I shut my eyes and breathed out, moaning and panting to help me handle the intensity.
Melanie pulled her hand back and I reached for her, trying to find her while my eyes were squeezed shut and I groaned.
I found a rough hand place of hers, my eyes snapped open in shock and I found my bearded, gruff, amazing and wonderful lumberjack.
“Aaron,” I breathed, “how? Your flight wasn’t due for another two hours.”
“I hitched a ride in a helicopter, princess,” he said, his deep voice rumbled in his chest and his hands enveloped mine. “The business investor found out about the baby and insisted he fly me here that very moment. He said if it’s a boy we might name it after him.”
I laughed and pulled him down for a kiss. The nurses began to fill Aaron in on the status of the baby as Melanie edged out the door.
I was ready then, ready to bring our child into the world. Aaron’s very presence gave me hope and strength. His love lifted me up and eased any pain and fear that might be overtaking me.
The doctor got between my legs and began to instruct me. I squeezed Aaron’s hand so hard I could feel the bones grinding against each other, but he never uttered a single word of pain.
He encouraged me, talked me through the waves of agony that threatened to drag me under and drown me, he was my life raft in an ocean of anguish.
“Come on, princess,” he told me at last, watching the doctor intently.
I felt a huge release and pushed one more time. Our baby slipped out of me and I began to cry in relief.
I heard the baby cry and Aaron stood to see our child for the first time. He laughed and told me, “It’s a boy. We have a little boy!”
I was exhausted, I could barely keep my eyes open but I wanted to see him, our son. “Does he have a beard?” I asked and waited for Aaron to bring him to me.
“No, not ready for a shave just yet,” Aaron laughed. After the baby was examined and wrapped up, Aaron finally brought him to me. “I’d like you to meet our son,” he said and I took the baby with careful hands.
“Hi there,” I said and looked at him with wonder. “He looks just like you,” I told Aaron.
“I think he’s lucky enough to look like his beautiful mother,” he replied.
“So what was the name?” I asked as time seemed to stand still and everybody around us appeared to move in dreamy slow motion.
“Oh, that,” Aaron laughed. “It’s Nigel. And that’s a big no from me.”
“Oh yeah, me too,” I replied and scrunched up my nose. “Are we going to call him what we planned?”
“I think we could, he looks like a Noah,” Aaron said and leaned over to kiss my forehead. “You did well, momma. You are so incredible to me.”
“I feel hot and tired and like a complete mess,” I replied and closed my eyes, holding my baby close. “And I seriously don’t know if I ever want to have sex again.”
“We’ll see about that,” Aaron chuckled and took Noah from me when I finally began to drift off.
I heard Melanie, Penny and Axel come into the room to meet Noah and I was grateful for the distraction off of me.
It let me relax, begin to heal and get the rest I needed.
As they oohed and aahed over Noah, Aaron made his way to my side and kissed me again, this time cupping my face in his hands and whispered in a fierce voice, “I love you so much, princess. You’ve given me everything I could ever want.”
“I love you too, lumberjack,” I smiled without opening my eyes. “And same.”
It was true, he’d given me everything I valued in my life, but most of all he’d given me a reason to really live and love and find the greatness in life that I’d been missing by living behind my walls of fear.
Life was one big, delicious, amazing journey and with Aaron Remington by my side, I was ready to experience every incredible moment.
But first, sleep, then living and loving and finding out what it meant to be a mom as well as a wife and lover.
With Aaron as my husband, anything was possible.
The End
PART II
Epilogue
Reagan
“Is there anything as flipping adorable as little shoes?” Melanie asked me as we walked the aisles of Anchorage’s premier baby boutique. We’d taken a short flight from home to do some shopping in the city. We’d spent last night in a hotel and had already been walking around too much this morning.
I was regretting it though, my feet were swollen like mad and my back ached. The baby kept playing trampoline on my bladder and I had to pee every ten minutes.
“They are pretty sweet,” I replied and smiled at the little Nike runners. “Wait here, I need to find a bathroom.”
“Again?” Melanie exhaled and rolled her eyes. “Seriously, I think you’re taking this pregnancy thing a little too far.”
“I will remember that when you get knocked up,” I replied coolly. “And I would fight you for saying that but I would probably pee myself right here.”
“I’m sorry,” Melanie laughed, “it’s just so much, you know? I’ve never been around anybody this pregnant before.”
“I know,” I lamented and looked down at my own swollen belly. “Neither have I!”
At that, I waddled around the store looking for the washroom. I found it at the back and held the door for another largely pregnant woman as we exchanged sympathetic glances. It was an interesting sisterhood to belong to, but it was nice to belong even if only for a moment.
I found the bathroom luxurious and definitely geared for pregnant women. The stalls were wide and easy for me to turn around in with my extended stomach. I sat down, did my business and contemplated sitting there for a while longer just to give me feet a rest, but I couldn’t leave Melanie unchecked in the store for too long. I’d end up with a bright pink lacquered baby crib or something, and we didn’t even know if we were having a boy or a girl yet.
I found Melanie standing in front of a huge aisle of baby clothes. She shook her head and said, “How can you do this to me? I need to know these things, do I buy pink little ballet dresses or do I buy these adorable little Nike track pants? I need to know if it’s a boy or a girl!”
“We’ll know soon enough,” I laughed. “Now let’s find a few of these items, get them shipped home and finally have some lunch.”
“Sounds good to me,” she said and snatched the list from my hand. “What the hell is a bunting bag? Sounds like an exclusive Parisian purse or something.”
“I guess that’s what we’re here to find out, but Penny insists I need one.”
We walked arm in arm to find a sales person so we could grill them on the ins and outs of baby necessities. I think the girl I found felt sorry for me, so she walked me through everything I’d need and then some.
Either that or she saw me as an easy mark, a paranoid first time mom with cash to burn.
No matter what she thought, I was satisfied with my purchases and hoped Aaron would have the nursery painted and the crib put together by the time we got home.
He was making one for the baby; it was apparently a tradition in their family. I’d been terrified at first, thinking he was going to glue together some wobbly thing that would crush our baby in its sleep. But a quick visit to my sister in law’s place had alleviated my fears. The one his brother had made for their children was really skillfully crafted and absolutely perfect.
I couldn’t wait to see what Aaron came up with.
Melanie and I settled the bill, gave the store our delivery address, and headed out to search for lunch before we headed back on the plane. One night away from Aaron was too much for me to handle as it was, and I ached to be back in his arms and by his side.
We made it to the plane just in time, settled into our seats and I popped out my seatbelt extender again, just to fit around my giant belly.
“Seriously?” Melanie snickered. “I thought you were just being dramatic with that thing on the way here.”
“Sorry if saving my life and being comfortable is offensive to you,” I snapped. I knew how round I was; I didn’t need my skinny friend to keep pointing it out.
“Uh, I don’t think you’d be very comfortable if that thing was actually saving your life because we’d be crashing.”
“I can’t wait until somebody knocks you up and you’re a hundred pounds heavier. I’m going to tease you too.”
I glowered at her and she looked stricken. “Dude, I was just joking, I’m sorry.”
I sighed and clipped my belt shut. “It’s not you, it’s me. Everything fucking irritates me right now, you know that.”
“I kinda picked up on it when you flipped out at lunch for the missing pickle in your burger,” she grinned. “I think that waiter might have peed himself a little.”
“Just a wee?” I smiled back and we giggled. “I tipped him huge to make up for it though.”
“Well if he wasn’t celibate already, your angry pregnant lady rampage probably turned him off sex for a while.”
“Was it that bad?” I asked, looking at her and feeling tears well up behind my eyes. I hated being this out of control of my emotions. It had been hard enough to open up and feel vulnerable with Aaron, and then accept his family’s love and allow them to become my family, but this constant crankiness and crying was too much sometimes.
“Uh, yeah, you were,” she smiled and touched my arm. “You’re allowed to be though, you’ve got another human being inside of you.”
“For another month and a half, too,” I exhaled and pushed my bangs off my sweaty forehead. “I don’t know if I can make it that long.”
“I don’t know if any of us can,” Melanie winked and nudged me.
We laughed again and I had to abruptly get up to use the bathroom when I felt the baby hit my bladder again. Using an airplane bathroom at seven months pregnant is not something I’d wish on my worst enemy.
After finding the right way to turn around and go pee, I couldn’t get up right off the bat. I had to struggle and lift myself with the handicapped rails to finally get free.
I flushed and looked at myself in the wavy reflections of the airline mirror and almost started to cry.
My eyes were puffy, my face was bloated and I looked like I’d aged about ten years overnight. It was so unfair, everybody talked about the pregnant lady glow and all I got was acne and dark circles under my eyes.
