The Trouble with Vows, page 8
“Beck, this is my job. You knew this was my job when you started seeing me again. Why are we getting into this? I can’t have you micromanaging me at every turn. It’s driving me crazy.”
“You think it isn’t driving me crazy? Do you even realize I haven’t slept a night through in months? I screwed up a major deadline at the office last week. Every waking moment, I am wondering what sort of crazy magical situation you’re going to dive right into without thinking.”
I stood, my chair scratching across the floor behind me. “I don’t just dive into anything. I take my job seriously, and for you to insinuate that I go about it like some half-baked, overzealous hero-wannabe is just ... infuriating. Beck, I’ve been a Neutralizer for almost twenty years now. I think I damned well know a little bit about how to take care of myself.”
My heart was thudding in my chest, and I could feel heat burning in my fingertips. The sound of electrical sparking made it very clear that my magic was coming unleashed, even though I refused to look down. No, I maintained my ferocious eye contact with Beck, staring into him and hoping he would back down any minute.
To my complete and utter astonishment, he did the complete opposite.
He reached beside him for a plate of fresh fruit, spilling the apples and oranges along the counter, then shaking and pointing it at me as he screamed, “You don’t take care of yourself. That’s the problem. You think of every other person except yourself when you go out there. You think of the case, the MAUC, Rhiannon, Tig. You think of all of them and never give a mind to you. Or to me and Justin and Jilly who will be alone if you die! Again!” He tossed the plate onto the floor so that it shattered into a thousand pieces.
I raised my hands and flicked them at the shards of ceramic, popping a magical burst at his feet. “I don’t care about your and Justin and Jilly? Did you just say that? Hello? The dark witch? And I went to those extremes to break that curse for you, Beck. I ...”
He cut the space between us and grabbed me by my arms, shaking me. “You know that you died in my arms, right? Your gut was opened up wide as the Grand Canyon, and you lost more blood than I thought a person could possibly lose. I was there, Lynlee. I saw it, and I remember every moment of it, and I relive it in nightmares.”
“Beck.” My voice was rough with emotion as I shook free of his grip. I took a few steps to put some distance between us since my magic was still sparking and I wasn’t sure what it might do. “You’re not exactly being fair here. I mean, I could just as easily die in a car wreck as ... my ... job.”
My words faded as I saw how his face had gone ashen, and immediately I wished I could sink into the floor. A car wreck? Did I really just say that? It was perhaps the stupidest, most insensitive thing to ever come out of my mouth. And that was saying something.
Beck gritted his teeth and turned away from me, stumbling on the mess of broken bowl pieces before making his way into the living room. I stood there, a sick knot forming in my stomach, then quickly followed him. I dropped my rear easily onto the coffee table so that I could face him, swallowing as I saw tears in his eyes.
“Beck, I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry.”
“I had a dream about her.” He leaned his elbows onto his knees and held his face in his hands. “It was months ago, but I just can’t shake it. I dreamed I was there when the accident happened. I walked over to the car, calm and cool even though I knew what I would find. I pulled her out, cradled her in my arms even though I knew she was already gone. And as I held her to me and rocked her, she turned into you.”
I knew about Beck’s wife Cheri’s death. He hadn’t been there with her when she died and almost hadn’t had time to mourn her at all. He had to face the night terrors that were plaguing his little girl. He’d never said so, but I always thought that Beck had gotten cheated out of the chance to truly face the loss of his wife.
“I can’t go through it again, Lynlee. Not again.”
Again as in he didn’t want to lose me again, or as in he didn’t want to bury another woman he loved? It probably didn’t matter at that moment. “I know. I’m not planning on going anywhere, Beck. I mean, I don’t have a ticket, so I can’t die.”
He glanced up at me then snorted an acerbic laugh. “You’re sure about that?”
I was in uncharted territory honestly, so I couldn’t say for certain. In order to transition into the afterlife one needed a ticket, and mine had been stolen by a leprechaun. As I understood it, Maude had searched for many years to gain a ticket so that she could finally pass on. It seemed to me I was on safe ground for now.
“Pretty sure.”
Beck groaned and stood up, almost knocking me down. “Pretty sure doesn’t really sound good enough.”
My earlier sympathy reverted to hot annoyance, though not quite as strong as my former anger had been. “What are you saying, Beck? Are you saying you want me to quit? Should I just stay home and become a housewife or something?”
He rounded to me so fast that I gasped in surprise. He grabbed my wrists, then walked me back to the wall and pressed me against it, pinning my hands at about shoulder level. “I want you to be smart. I want you to be safe. I want you to—” He paused, his lips less than an inch from mine. Eyes glancing down at my mouth, he weaved closer, then withdrew. “I want you. I just want you.”
I tilted my head up, yearning coiling tight in my abdomen. I could see the tendrils of desire charged within his aura, and part of me was struck with wonder at the sight of it. The other part, a much louder and stronger part, just needed him to kiss me.
I tried to tug my hands loose from his grip, but he tightened them and brought them up higher over my head. His gaze shifted down to the rise of my breasts, now straining and peeking above my neckline. A hot wave washed over me, settling in a tingling ball at my core.
“Aw hell.” He swooped down to kiss me, possessing my lips in a way that had me moaning into his mouth. The taunting sweeps of his tongue against mine seemed to be a way of conveying a message. It was one that I was reading loud and clear.
I was Beck’s. Beck was mine. No arguments could come between that.
Chapter 18
BECK GROUND HIS HIPS against me even as he released my wrists to grab my backside and press me firmer into him. I used the opportunity to take hold of his shoulders and neck so that I could deepen the already desperate kiss. When I lifted my legs to wrap around his waist, the hardness of his erection met just the right spot between my legs, and the spark of desire I’d felt ignited fully. I rubbed against him to increase the pressure then tore my lips away from his to choke out a moan.
“Do that thing,” he insisted against my neck as he kissed and nibbled the sensitive skin. “That thing you did our first time.”
My mind was sex-driven, and it was hard to think what he might be talking about. Even as I tilted my head back to give him better access my throat and neck, I searched my memories. Our very first time together had been almost two decades ago. It was Christmas Eve, and he’d come to visit me at my first house. I remember his body pinning mine against the wall just this way.
“I can’t wait to feel your skin touching mine. Do it, Lynlee. Don’t you remember?”
And suddenly I did. I freed one of my hands from holding him and shook it to call upon my magic wand. I tapped the little stick against my pants, then his, immediately causing them to disappear from our bodies along with our underthings, all of them landing in a pile on the floor. And as soon as the clothing was gone, Beck’s sex entered me in one breathtaking thrust, then his arms squeezed my torso in a bear hug as his forehead dropped against mine.
“You remembered,” he gritted out through clenched teeth. He braced a hand against the wall so that he could pull almost out of me then push back to the hilt.
My wand slipped from my hand, clattering to the floor, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was the exquisite friction of our coupling. I crossed my ankles to grip him with all that I had as he moved harder and faster. Cupping his face, I forced his lips back to mine, claiming them over and over again between pants for air.
“Oh! Oh, god,” I cried the words into Beck’s shoulder, as waves of the most consuming climax rolled over me. Every nerve in my body tingled, and all of my muscles tensed then slowly went slack.
Slipping one hand under my rear, Beck walked us to the bedroom, his erection still lodged deep inside me. He laid me back on the bed, hooking one of my legs up over his shoulder. I reached back to grip the blankets over my head as he once again began to move within me, still pumping with some wild abandon I hadn’t seen from him in a long time. Maybe ever.
“Lynlee,” he groaned, tilting his head back so that the tendons in his neck stretched taught. Watching him was absolutely enthralling, the cords of his muscles moving under the skin and an animalistic look of desperation in his express. I couldn’t turn away and found it so savagely erotic that it drove me to a second orgasm just as his entire body trembled with his own release.
He finally opened his eyes to look down at me and one side of his mouth tipped up in a half-grin.
I let go of the bedcovers, stretching the tension out of my fingers. “Proud of yourself?”
“I damn well should be.” He reached down to run his hands along my belly in an affectionate caress. “Any time a man can do this to a woman he has a reason to be proud.”
I wasn’t sure what he meant until I propped myself up on my elbows and peered down at my body. I was sparking. Not just my fingertips, which happened sometime when I was emotionally riled up. No, the entire surface of my skin was pulsing with a white glow. My eyes widened, and I cut them up to him. “Has this ever happened before?”
“Never.” He shook his head, then glanced down. Patch was standing beside him, pushing her head up into his hands to beg for his touch. He obliged, scratching her behind the ears. The magical reaction in my body might be unusual, but my dog’s reaction to sex wasn’t. She always seemed to need some sort of reassurance after we finished making love. Almost as if she felt we were cutting her out of something special.
While my man slinked up close to me, I pondered the dissipating glow along my skin. For a man who had once been vehemently opposed to anything magic, he was taking this like a champ. Heavy on the word “champ.” He wore an expression like he’d just won some sort of contest for sex.
“So what do you think it means?” he asked, holding his head up in one hand while the other lazily traced circles around my belly button.
“I don’t know. My magic has been weird lately. Since my recovery really. First the flying, also I can see auras on a totally different level. Now this.”
“Does it worry you?”
I puffed air through my nostrils. “You’re the worrier, not me.”
Immediately I regretted the words as the last thing I wanted was to go back to our earlier argument. But Beck only turned somber as he cupped my cheek. “I’m sorry. I guess something weird has come over me, too, since you . . .” He paused. “Since you died. You know, I always thought that if only I’d been with Cheri when she had that accident, that I might have been able to do something. I maybe could have saved her. I know that doesn’t do any good to think that way, but ...” He shrugged.
“It makes sense. We all live with what-ifs, Beck.”
His head rose and fell in silent agreement. “But when you died, I was right there. You were in my arms. We knew it was going to happen, for Christ’s sake. But I still couldn’t do anything to stop it. It makes a man feel damned useless.”
I turned my head to kiss his palm.
“Something in me just wants to lock you up in a room so nothing can happen to you.”
I thought about that for a few minutes while he held me. I was almost ready to doze off when he leaned back to glance at the clock, then began to stretch. “We’d better get dressed. The kids will be home soon.”
“Who cares,” I muttered, stuffing my face into the mattress. “They have to learn what married people do eventually.”
Beck chuckled. “I’d love to see how you handle that. You’d probably conjure your wand and magically disappear if they caught us in the act.”
“Probably. Except my wand can’t do that.”
He left the room and returned with my pants and his jeans. While he slipped into his clothes I took the time to watch him, still considering our earlier conversation. Finally, I sat up and began to get dressed, too. “Beck?”
“Yeah.” He turned to me.
“My parents wanted me to give up my magic, to be a normal person. I’m sure, on some level, they wanted to keep me safe. But trying to change me, to make me something I’m not, only alienated us from each other. They lost me because of it.”
He plopped onto the bed beside me, but said nothing.
“I’m not going anywhere. I’ve decided to be here with you, to marry you if you still want me. I’m committed to you. But if you try make me stop doing my job, I might just give in. If you try to control me that way, I’ll be different. And even though I’ll still be here, I’ll be gone.”
He wore a dark expression when he stood, averting my eyes but leaning in to kiss my forehead. Patch was up on the bed beside me. She had a concerned look in her puppy eyes, watching him leave the room and then glancing at me without moving her head.
“Don’t worry, Patch.” I patted her head. “You and I can’t afford to be worriers.”
Certainly she couldn’t because she suddenly sat up then bolted out of the room. I heard the kids’ joyful voices, and I couldn’t help the smile their sounds brought to my face.
When I stepped into the living room a few moments later I was mortified to see Jilly holding up my panties with a confused expression. I rushed forward and snatched them from her. “There those are. They must have fallen out of the basket when I was doing the laundry.”
Beck’s raucous laughter from the kitchen had my cheeks flaming red. I had the unmistakable urge to conjure my wand and disappear.
Chapter 19
I WOKE UP AT ABOUT 4:45 and bolted straight up in bed. My conversation with Beck was still churning in my brain. I guess something weird has come over me too since you died. A lot of things had become weird. Rhiannon, supposedly infertile, was now pregnant. Tig miraculously had his lost changeling back. My magic was stronger and easier to control than before.
“The Parandus Potion,” I muttered, then glanced at Beck to be sure I hadn’t woken him up. He was still soundly snoozing, so I carefully eased out of bed. Patch raised her head to watch me, but I put my hand out to her to indicate she should stay. The sound of her claws on the wood floor would be sure to wake someone. I made my way into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge as I considered things.
The Parandus Potion was intended to make things that were wrong, right. Granny had specifically warned me that it was some of the strongest magic known. Was it possible it had been so strong it affected everyone? I remembered that ash from the potion had exploded into the air and rained down on the entire field. Maybe the particles were what spread the magic to so many people.
“Hmmm. I can’t figure if this is good or bad.”
I spent some time jotting down notes about the changes in my own powers, just so I’d have a record as I continued to ponder things. About an hour later, Beck came shuffling into the room. He kissed the back of my head then made his way to the coffee maker and poured a steaming mug.
Patch came trotting along beside him, walking straight to the back door and stopping. I grinned at her a minute, then watched her bound out enthusiastically as soon as I opened it for her.
“You’re up early for a Saturday. Everything okay?”
I sensed the little pitch of concern in Beck’s voice. How could I blame him after the serious conversations we’d been having recently? “I have a theory about some things going on lately ...” I proceeded to fill him in.
“That all seems plausible. I mean, I’m no expert on magic, but from what you’ve taught me, this makes sense. Only . . .” He paused and pursed his lips.
“Only what?”
He shrugged. “You mentioned me. I don’t have powers. What does it have to do with me?”
“Ah.” I set aside my notepad and refilled my coffee, slipping in just the right amount of cream. “This potion was intended to return the natural order of things. I think you’ve been struggling to deal with something unresolved from when Cheri died. I think the magic, coupled with my near-death experience ...”
“Uhm, total death. You died. A long way past near.”
“Yeah, well, anyway, I think you’re a part of this, too.”
He set his cup aside and crossed the room, propping his rear on the bar at which I was seated. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed a few times, then he reached out and rubbed his thumb along my lips. I shivered and kissed the pad.
“When did you become a psychologist?” I didn’t answer, just continued watching him, somehow knowing he had something important to say. Finally, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then opened them to look down at me again.
“I’m always going to worry about you, Lynlee. I’m always going to be concerned about the dangers associated with your job. Hell, if you go down to the grocery store and are gone too long, I’ll probably call you just to check on you. But I’m not going to make you give it up. And as of today, I’m not going to hen peck you about it anymore. Because I love you, and I don’t want to change a thing about you.”
I nodded, drawing my lips to the side. “You still need help. I mean, from a strictly professional standpoint, you need serious psychotherapy.”
We stared at each other a minute, then both burst out laughing. There was a scratch at the door, and my man leaned down to kiss me quickly before letting Patch back into the house. Her business done, she was all about breakfast, walking to her empty bowl and then casting a forlorn look at us. I rolled my eyes and poured up some dry food. She repeated the same maneuver, glancing at the kibble and this time looking up at Beck.
