Just Like That, page 16
As she says this, something tugs at me inside, and I recognise this as a longing to share all the stuff I’m shouldering. While I do talk about things with Amelia on our calls, it’s not the same as having someone physically there. A swell of emotion chokes my throat and I swallow it down before it can give me away.
‘Thanks Lauren,’ I simply say in response. ‘I’ll keep that in mind.’
* * *
After roaming round the park looking for Nick so we can speak to Gwen a little earlier, I eventually find him standing outside the main office waiting for me at five to ten.
‘I think it’s time we swapped numbers.’ I throw my hands up in light-hearted frustration. ‘I’ve been looking all over for you.’
‘Is that maybe a bit premature?’ He grimaces at me in an almost defeatist way. ‘If this doesn’t go the way we want, I’m all too aware it’ll be over before it’s even started.’
Unable to provide any meaningful reassurance, I mirror his expression. ‘Well, the sooner we get in there, the sooner we can find out.’
‘OK, but before we go inside…’ He grabs my hand and pulls me into an embrace that makes me tingle from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, leaving me aching for more the moment he lets me go.
‘Wow. You’ve conquered your shyness quickly.’ I touch my lips gently.
‘I guess when you think it might be your last, you have to make it count.’ He looks genuinely sad and my heart melts.
‘You know, I was thinking as I was walking around looking for you… if Craig has an issue with this, he can only really do so as long as I’m working with the park – which means we’d only have to behave ourselves until the contract ends or I can get myself moved back onto my previous projects.’
‘Is that right?’ Nick’s face brightens and he reaches forward to tuck a flyaway section of hair behind my ear.
‘Yes. So it wouldn’t be over for good, it would be over for now. Though let’s not underestimate how challenging it could be working side by side if that’s the case.’
I flash him a suggestive grin and he visibly deflates at the thought of having to resist that ongoing temptation. This pleases me no end – I mean, who doesn’t want to feel desirable? – and it seems like, right now, to Nick, I am currently the very definition of that.
‘The really big issue here is my career at Capital Events, and how much more damage I’ve done to it.’
This time Nick takes my hand gently and places it on his chest protectively. ‘Jess, whatever goes down here, I’ve got your back. Me, Lauren, Serge, the whole lot of us. We’re going to save the park and save your career at the same time, I promise.’
‘I wish I was as optimistic as you. Shall we?’ I gesture to the door and with a final shared deep breath, we walk through it together.
Chapter 23
On entering the main open-plan office, I feel all the eyes of the room’s inhabitants on us, projecting knowing looks accompanied by giggling whispers.
‘Bloody hell,’ I mutter under my breath. ‘You weren’t kidding when you said that woman was a major gossip. Everyone in here already knows and I can’t imagine it was Lauren who told them.’
‘Didn’t I tell you?’ Nick replies out the corner of his mouth. ‘We may or may not have got to Gwen first.’
Reaching her office door, Nick knocks and enters with me trailing behind him like I’m walking to the stake. Gwen only momentarily glances up from the printed sheets of paper she’s poring over.
‘Ah, Nick, Jess. Come on in and have a seat.’
We sit down on the chairs in front of her desk and wait for her to finish what she’s doing. When she eventually looks up at us properly, she takes off her glasses, her expression unreadable.
‘I hear you two have something to tell me.’
I give Nick a sideways glance, unsure how to respond to this.
‘Word has gotten round then, I assume.’ He saves me the pain of having to do so.
‘It has,’ says Gwen. ‘It’s all that lot out there can talk about, and I’d prefer it if they would get on with some actual work.’
Hearing this, my stomach pools with a mix of guilt and shame, making me feel a little sick. I had hoped we could convince Gwen and Craig that Nick and I seeing each other wouldn’t get in the way of our work, but what are the chances of that when it’s already getting in the way of everyone else’s? I realise I need to make this right – and fast.
‘Gwen, I’m so sorry about this situation,’ I rush to explain. ‘I’m aware that it’s completely unprofessional, and well… it just sort of happened off the back of the dating event rehearsal, but we will absolutely not go there again while I’m working here, I promise you that…’
I can feel Nick’s incredulous eyes practically burning through me, and I know exactly what he’s thinking: this is not at all how we agreed to manage this conversation. But the problem is, I’m in panic mode, and really, it’s the only right thing to do.
‘We didn’t want you to hear it from the park grapevine,’ I continue like a runaway train. ‘We wanted to tell you ourselves and show you the respect you deserve, but I had my project meeting first thing and—’
‘Jess, stop.’ Gwen holds up a commanding hand and I cease my blabbering.
Daring a glance at Nick, I see him shake his head in disbelief at my manic outpouring, which makes me feel even worse, because now I’m worried that I’ve hurt him. The wait for Gwen to speak feels like an eternity. She appears to be gathering her thoughts in a similar way to when she prepared her impromptu speech for her management team the other week.
‘Jess, Nick…’ she addresses us eventually. ‘I did hear this morning about how your working relationship has progressed to a romantic one.’ I cringe as she says this. ‘I’ve also heard that it is a very recent turn of events, so I imagine the two of you don’t yet know what it means for you.’
I nod vehemently. ‘Exactly, which means we can and absolutely will nip it in the bud.’
Nick shoots me a look that says ‘Seriously?’ and I shrink back like a tortoise retreating into my shell.
‘Perhaps you can let me speak, Jess?’ says Gwen, and this time my nod is a sheepish one. ‘All right, thank you. What I was going to say was that I apologise for the behaviour of that lot outside.’ She jabs a forefinger in the direction of the main office floor behind us.
‘They’re nothing we can’t handle. At least, that’s what I thought before we walked in here and you did that.’ Nick gives me a pointed look.
‘What exactly did I do?’ I snipe back at him, knowing exactly what I did but unable to own up to it right then and there under the weight of my mortification. Then, horrified by my actions, I turn to Gwen and apologise.
Nick however, doesn’t seem remotely fazed by Gwen’s presence. ‘Do I really need to spell it out? You totally jumped the gun by—’
‘All right,’ Gwen interjects, silencing Nick. ‘I can see that this situation is causing both of you some stress and I want to be up front, not least so I can put your mind at rest, Jess. I have no problem whatsoever with the two of you dating. In fact, it’s been nice to see Nick with a bit of a spring in his step these last few days.’
A look of surprise appears on Nick’s face.
She raises her eyebrows at him. ‘You think I didn’t notice? Son, you’re my most treasured member of staff, because of your expertise and your commitment to the animals and the park. But I’m afraid to say, you’ve been a miserable bugger for the last three years.’
I have to stifle a giggle as Nick looks like he’s been stripped to his underwear and paraded around the penguin enclosure.
‘Right, well, thanks for the feedback,’ he mumbles. ‘I won’t say it’s timely, given it’s three years late.’
‘You were in no place to hear it three years ago, never mind three months ago, so don’t give me that,’ Gwen tuts at him. ‘Anyway, as I was saying, I’m pleased that the two of you have… found a connection. I have no issue with this whatsoever, though that said – and I’m not sure I need to say this, because I trust you both implicitly – I would only ask that you don’t let it interfere with your jobs.’
‘It wouldn’t interfere in any way, Gwen,’ I assure her. ‘There’s no way I’d let that happen, and I really appreciate your vote of confidence in me, especially as you haven’t known me long. It’s just, well, for me, this isn’t just about what you think, it’s also about what my boss thinks when you tell him.’
‘Why would I talk to him about this?’ She picks up a pen from her desk and taps it thoughtfully against her left temple.
‘Because it’s a potential conflict of interest. Because Craig has placed me here to deliver a contract and I’ve blurred the lines between that and my personal life. He may think I’ve behaved unprofessionally and put this project, as well as the company’s reputation, in jeopardy.’
Gwen puffs out her cheeks then exhales heavily. ‘He will think that. Of course he will – which is precisely why I’m not going to tell him.’
‘You’re not?’
‘No, Jess. Your boss, Craig, is… how do I put this nicely… no, sorry, there’s no way to say it nicely. He’s a twat in a suit.’
‘I’m sorry?’ I blink at Gwen in disbelief, then look to Nick, who simply shrugs.
She gets up from behind her desk and slowly paces back and forth, arms behind her back. ‘I apologise if you find this unprofessional, Jess, but I’m the customer, I’m paying the bills, so I can say what I like. Would you agree with that?’ She stops pacing and looks directly at me.
I chew my lip apprehensively. ‘Eh… sure?’
‘Good.’ Gwen seems satisfied with my response and resumes wearing down the claggy office carpet, which I notice has a slightly shabbier looking patch right where she’s pacing back and forth. ‘You see, Craig’s view of the world is very different to mine. Actually, let’s test that theory. Would I be right in thinking he would want you to leave your personal problems at home? Would he perhaps be the type to lack empathy if you were dealing with something difficult in your life?’
An imaginary jackpot horn starts blaring inside my head. Gwen has no idea how close to the truth (and bone) she’s landed. Squirming in my seat, I feel distinctly uncomfortable at the idea of being asked to confirm if my boss is indeed a twat in a suit.
‘You don’t have to answer that.’ Gwen saves me from this discomfort, perhaps having never really expected me to give a response. ‘I know I’m right. So, here’s my way of management: you let people be people. You give them the tools, skills and direction they need to be their best, and you accept that you’re hiring humans, not robots. This means that things will get messy from time to time. Life events will happen – good and bad – and your team members will, at times, fall in and out of love – or lust.’
My face blazes at this comment and I don’t dare look at Nick, because I’m certain that together the two of us could toast marshmallows right now.
‘A man like that doesn’t really deserve to have you on his team, Jess,’ Gwen continues. ‘And if he won’t respect you and treat you like a human being, he can’t expect the same in return. As far as I’m concerned, this is your business and not his. OK? Dismissed.’
Nick and I share a confused look, unsure if we’ve heard right or whether we should get up and leave or not. Gwen guffaws and slides back into her seat.
‘Sorry, forgive me. I’ve always wanted to do that. Listen you two: you have my full blessing to explore each other in any way you wish. So off you pop and have a good day.’
Gwen’s unintended innuendo sends the heat in our faces spiralling into gas burner territory, and we can’t get out of her office quick enough.
‘What the hell was that?’ I press my hands against my cheeks in disbelief once we’re outside the office building and back in the fresh air, having shot past the nosey office staff as fast as we could.
‘I should be saying the same thing to you.’ Nick’s tone is borderline accusatory, but knowing him better now, I can detect the (almost imperceptible) lightness within his statement. ‘What happened to staying quiet till we got a sense of where Gwen was at?’
‘Sorry, I caved. I’m not good in that kind of situation. Especially not recently,’ I mumble as an afterthought.
‘Not half. But it explains a bit about how your boss manages to keep you down.’
‘Meaning?’
‘If you don’t stand your ground with him, he’ll find it easy to discard you if he sees you as having lost your shine.’
‘Thanks for that.’ I flinch at this cutting statement.
‘Hey, I didn’t mean that in a bad way.’ Nick lifts my chin with his finger and locks his eyes on mine. ‘I was just stating a fact. This is crossed wires between us again. I want you to succeed, and to succeed you need to know your worth and fight for yourself. Don’t hand the guy a reason to ditch you.’
‘I guess you’re right. I was trying to stand up for myself, but he seems to one up me every time. I always thought being good at what I do would be what set me apart from others, but it’s the politics that really defines things. That and being able to fit the mould. Anyway, enough about that for now. What I want to know is: what was that in there?’
‘That was Gwen in her full glory,’ says Nick. ‘She’s quite the character.’
‘I’ll say. She’s clearly been on her best behaviour with me before now.’
‘I’d take it as a compliment. Means she’s let you into the fold, and she doesn’t do that with everyone. You are aware she’s your boss’s sister-in-law, right? Or was anyway.’
‘What? No.’ I gape at him. ‘Are you serious?’
‘Yes, I just assumed you knew. She and your boss’s brother, John, are divorced, but it was an amicable split. John’s still very much in the picture and Lauren and him are close.’
‘Gosh, I had no idea.’ I’m baffled by this revelation. ‘It’s a bit odd that Craig didn’t tell me about it, but I guess he must have had his reasons. Her calling him “a twat in a suit” certainly makes sense now – she mustn’t be that keen on him.’
Nick nods. ‘They see life differently, that’s for sure. John asked Craig to help out when the park hit problems and all Craig did was offer Gwen a twenty-five per cent discount on your company’s services. She took it because it was better than she would get elsewhere, but I think it sticks in her throat a bit that he’s stinking rich and so self-focused.’
Before I can respond, one of Lauren’s team members comes out of the building, greeting us politely. She appears to be making a call, so we cross the courtyard and head into the park in search of some privacy to continue our debrief.
‘Well, anyway,’ I say, once we’re out of earshot, ‘the whole Craig thing aside, I knew Gwen was a bit quirky, but I didn’t realise she was as straight to the point as that. That was…’
‘Entertaining, uncomfortable, embarrassing?’
‘Like I’ve never experienced before,’ I scoff. ‘Regardless of her relationship with him, I can’t believe she called my boss that in front of me.’
‘Is it an accurate description?’ Nick asks.
‘I never used to think so, but more recently I’ve come to that way of thinking. Even more so now after what you’ve just told me. And as much as it’s great to have Gwen’s support, Nick, I’m sorry, I’m still wondering if I need to tell him about us. Because that’s who I am. Much as I wish I could be a bit more like Gwen, I’m not her.’
‘I was afraid you were going to say that.’ Nick stops and slips his arms round my waist, pulling me gently towards him. ‘Any chance you can wait a couple more days? We’re in safe territory now here, and I’d really like to explore a bit more of you before that “twat in a suit” has the opportunity to kibosh things.’
I smile up at him, some of the tension leaching from my shoulders. ‘I think I can manage that. In fact, you have no idea how badly I want to kiss you right now.’
Nick looks around and clocks the nearest enclosure. ‘I think Gwen would be OK with us having a post-discussion moment together. In here.’
He pulls open the door to the indoor viewing area and we bundle inside, pawing at each other in a way that’s representative of the wild animals around us. Thankfully the enclosure is less ‘aromatic’ than some of the others in the park, so I’m able to put all my focus on Nick. I can still taste a hint of the coffee from earlier on his lips as he kisses me hungrily and I moan with pleasure at the sheer intensity of feeling such desire and being so desired.
‘I can definitely wait a couple of days to tell Craig,’ I murmur.
‘Good,’ Nick whispers in my ear. ‘Because I’m going to need a supersized portion of you to keep me going until your contract ends.’
I snicker at his questionable attempt at erotically charged dialogue, which makes me feel like an upsell at McDonald’s. It’s not enough to throw me off though. Nick’s so damn sexy, he’s like nectar to me; I just can’t get enough.
We’re at the point where we’re beginning to cross a line with hands being where they absolutely shouldn’t be in a place of work, and items of clothing coming close to being removed, when the door to the enclosure swings open with a loud creak. We instantaneously jump apart and stand behind it as a group of primary school children trot into the space, chattering exciting, followed by what must be their teachers or parental chaperones. I balk at how close they came to catching us out and receiving an unsolicited sex ed lesson. Nick puts a finger to his lips and silently beckons for me to follow him out of the room, which I do on my tiptoes to avoid giving us away.
Once outside, we fall about laughing, wired by our close call. I straighten myself up and smooth down my hair as Nick watches me with a grin.
